1. Personal Branding
Ref: 0073
Now you're talking, manager
Use respect: Susan Heron, Australian Institute of Management Luis Ascui
By Leo D'Angelo Fisher
2 August 2012
Executive coach Jon Michail is often brought into companies plagued by dysfunctional cultures
that impede performance at individual, team or organisational levels.
Known by his professional name of Jon-Michail, the veteran coach spends time in these
organisations, getting to know their eddies and flows. One thing that often doesn’t flow, he says,
is conversation.
“At great companies there are great conversations going on all the time,” says Jon-Michail, who
started Image Group International in 1989. “People are conversing purposefully, relationships are
being strengthened and it’s all for the good of the organisation.”
One trend that disturbs the ebullient coach is the decline in “authentic” conversation, particularly
between staff and management.
“Those one-on-one conversations that are so important for building relationships and
partnerships are lacking today big time. Ten years ago I thought maybe this is a trend that will go
away, but it’s got worse.”
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and coaching programs available please contact:
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©2012

2. Personal Branding
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Perhaps, he muses, it’s the confluence of several factors that inhibits conversations between
managers and staff – a restless economy, restructuring and cutbacks, diminishing trust, the rise
of jargon and spin, and the advent of litigious workplaces in which managers feel they cannot
speak freely.
“It’s actually very difficult to have authentic conversations in the workplace today. There are so
many games going on, so many mixed messages and out of control human resources
departments and political correctness are causing so much damage,” Jon-Michail says.
Managers skilled in elaborate communication techniques or who simply parrot company lines risk
alienating already disengaged employees. Often these managers find it difficult to initiate
spontaneous conversations and even when they do, they resort to corporate speak or guarded
language.
“The word I keep using is ‘authentic’, and I mean it,” he says. “A manager may be slick and
positive and think he’s being very clever when he is having conversations with staff but everyone
knows it’s just more blah, blah, blah.”
The ability to communicate clearly and credibly is critical for anyone working with or managing
teams. For managers, the clearer the directions to teams, the more likely those directions will be
understood, followed and executed.
“The quality of conversations with team members affects the quality of the work they do, it
improves their morale, it leads to better relationships in the workplace,” Jon-Michail says.
“The clearer the task at hand, the clearer the context of what you are asking your team to do, the
greater the value that you create for yourself, your team and the organisation.”
Difficult conversations are a particular source of angst. A book by management trainer Darren
Hill and psychologists Alison Hill and Sean Richardson, Dealing With the Tough Stuff , is about
mastering “crucial conversations”.
“As a leader, supervisor or manager, there’s one inevitable task you will encounter: the tough-
stuff conversation. Whether it’s addressing underperformance, critiquing work or dealing with
heightened emotions, some situations with some people will be tough – there’s no escaping it,”
the authors warn.
These conversations can cover many issues: customer complaints, disputes with colleagues,
poor performance or job cuts. Conversations have to be equal to the challenge.
“When we have to deal with the tough stuff, we often fluff around the subject and avoid being
clear and getting to the point. Others around us also use fluff [including jargon],” they write.
“To get rid of the fluff, you need to get clear in your communication, get clear in your intent and
get to the point.”
Difficult conversations are a fact of organisational life – especially for managers – so there’s no
point hoping they can be avoided, says the chief executive of the Australian Institute of
Management for Victoria and Tasmania, Susan Heron .
For further information on this handout and the consulting
and coaching programs available please contact:
Image Group International
Asia Pacific Head Office
T: (+61 3) 9824 0420
E: info@imagegroup.com.au
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©2012

3. Personal Branding
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She says an important factor to keep in mind when initiating an awkward conversation is that
there is another person on the other side of the table.
“These are difficult conversations and you have to be skilled in getting the message across,”
Heron says.
“If the problem is underperformance, for example, it’s important to make sure that he or she
understands where they’re going wrong and how they can address the problem so that the
individual has a chance to turn the situation around.
“It’s about respect for the other person but also being aware that you represent your
organisation. It’s knowing how best to approach the conversation, being alert to areas of
sensitivity, legally and personally, and making sure that nothing is said that insults the person or
appears as flippant or uncaring.”
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that some people are not naturally gifted conversationalists. The
real surprise is that managers can make their way up the corporate ladder without those skills.
Corporate communications coach Brett Rutledge says spoken communication is the primary tool
of leadership – whether in front of 1000 people, in a boardroom or to a single colleague across a
coffee table. And yet, Rutledge laments, there is “a crisis of self-expression in the business world
with people who literally can’t make their point”.
“A lot of leaders forget that the most trusted form of communications is verbal communications,”
he says.
Presumably they had those skills as they made their way up the corporate ladder, but Rutledge
says that the higher they go, the more remote they become as communicators.
“As they move through their career, there’s a pressure to conform, to change the way they speak
or come across. In effect they’re being asked to become an actor,” he says.
“What people want is for leaders to be genuine and that’s the one thing that many leaders have
trouble with. We have a business culture that is producing automatons who are largely
interchangeable.”
One of the greatest obstacles to effective communication is the use of jargon and language that
invites suspicion, or worse, ridicule. Rutledge urges clients to simplify their language, speak
plainly and unambiguously, and treat their audience with respect.
“If you spoke to your friends and family the way you speak to people at work, they’d think you’re
an idiot. Why do you think people at work think any differently?” he says.
For further information on this handout and the consulting
and coaching programs available please contact:
Image Group International
Asia Pacific Head Office
T: (+61 3) 9824 0420
E: info@imagegroup.com.au
www.imagegroup.com.au Page 3 of 4
©2012

4. Personal Branding
Ref: 0073
Dealing with difficult conversations
01 Stay calm while still being firm.
02 Keep the volume of your voice underneath the other person’s and do not allow the situation to
escalate.
03 Allow the person the opportunity to calm down by ceasing communication for a short time and
then returning to it once they (and you) have calmed down.
04 Recognise that things said in anger are not usually grounded in fact or reason.
05 If someone is volatile, safety is paramount. Cease the conversation if you feel unsafe by
deferring to another time. If necessary, involve a third party.
Tips for dealing with tears
01 Allow the other person to cry; don’t feel you have to stop them.
02 Offering tissues is a simple, empathic gesture that gives you both something to do and says
“It’s OK to cry”.
03 Your silence is okay in this situation as this allows the other person to compose themselves.
04 You can acknowledge the validity of the other person’s behaviour by expressing empathy. For
example, you might say, “This is upsetting for you”.
2012 BRW
For further information on this handout and the consulting
and coaching programs available please contact:
Image Group International
Asia Pacific Head Office
T: (+61 3) 9824 0420
E: info@imagegroup.com.au
www.imagegroup.com.au Page 4 of 4
©2012