From John Hilton III's talk on CD, "Dare not to Compare"

1. DARE NOT TO COMPAREDARE NOT TO COMPARE

2. II DAREDARE YOUYOU

3. I’ve heard some crazy dares…I’ve heard some crazy dares…
 --I Dare you to eat a worm--I Dare you to eat a worm
 --I Dare you to ask that girl to dance--I Dare you to ask that girl to dance
 --I Dare you to drink a gallon of cider in--I Dare you to drink a gallon of cider in
one hourone hour

4. Today I’m going to give you aToday I’m going to give you a
dare….a Dare not to Compare.dare….a Dare not to Compare.
““They…comparing themselvesThey…comparing themselves
among themselves, are not wise”among themselves, are not wise”
(2 Corinthians 10:12).(2 Corinthians 10:12).

5. Teachings ofTeachings of
Howard W.Howard W.
HunterHunter, 62, 62
In our spiritual progressionIn our spiritual progression
we must be careful not towe must be careful not to
compare ourselves tocompare ourselves to
others.…. [comparing]others.…. [comparing]
seldom leads to anythingseldom leads to anything
very constructive. Usuallyvery constructive. Usually
we just get depressed… Wewe just get depressed… We
would never let others be sowould never let others be so
hard on themselves, but wehard on themselves, but we
are certainly inclined to beare certainly inclined to be
hard on ourselves.hard on ourselves.

6. I’m not very handyI’m not very handy

7. Building a Swing SetBuilding a Swing Set

8. Ether 12:27Ether 12:27
 Notice how Ether 12:23-25 gives usNotice how Ether 12:23-25 gives us
some really important context forsome really important context for
Ether 12:27.Ether 12:27.

9. One Girl’s Story…One Girl’s Story…
Yesterday, my best friend joined Facebook. HerYesterday, my best friend joined Facebook. Her
facebook profile picture was so pretty- shefacebook profile picture was so pretty- she
looked like a princess. Mine had little pig tails. Ilooked like a princess. Mine had little pig tails. I
felt like I looked stupid. I changed my profilefelt like I looked stupid. I changed my profile
picture to one where you couldn't see my face,picture to one where you couldn't see my face,
and went to bed.and went to bed.

10. Random Girls at an AirportRandom Girls at an Airport
 ““Sometimes you want to have ugly friends soSometimes you want to have ugly friends so
that you feel better about yourself.”that you feel better about yourself.”
 On another occasion: “You compareOn another occasion: “You compare
accessories, like one time this girl had anaccessories, like one time this girl had an
animal bracelet and I thought it was so muchanimal bracelet and I thought it was so much
cooler than my accessories.”cooler than my accessories.”

11. Is Comparison Just for Girls?Is Comparison Just for Girls?
 ““I sometimes look around to see if a guy hasI sometimes look around to see if a guy has
bigger muscles than I do.”bigger muscles than I do.”
 ““I’m not an athlete, but I’m in choir and I willI’m not an athlete, but I’m in choir and I will
compare my voice to other people’s.compare my voice to other people’s.
 Comparing headsComparing heads
 What grade did you get?What grade did you get?

12. Is all comparison bad?Is all comparison bad?

13. President Dieter F.President Dieter F.
Uchtdorf,Uchtdorf, EnsignEnsign,,
Nov. 2009Nov. 2009
““The Lord doesn’t expectThe Lord doesn’t expect
us to work harder than weus to work harder than we
are able. He doesn’t (norare able. He doesn’t (nor
should we) compare ourshould we) compare our
efforts to those of others.efforts to those of others.
Our Heavenly Father asksOur Heavenly Father asks
only that we do the best weonly that we do the best we
can—that we workcan—that we work
according to our fullaccording to our full
capacity, however great orcapacity, however great or
small that may be.”small that may be.”

14. Elder Jeffrey R.Elder Jeffrey R.
HollandHolland
EnsignEnsign, May, 2002, May, 2002
Someone or something isSomeone or something is
forever telling us we need toforever telling us we need to
be more handsome or morebe more handsome or more
wealthy…. We are told wewealthy…. We are told we
haven’t collected enoughhaven’t collected enough
possessions or gone to enoughpossessions or gone to enough
fun places. We are bombardedfun places. We are bombarded
with the message that on thewith the message that on the
world’sworld’s scale of things we havescale of things we have
been weighed in the balancebeen weighed in the balance
and found wanting….and found wanting….ButBut
God does not work this way.God does not work this way.

15. Let’s review and discuss whatLet’s review and discuss what
we’ve talked about so far…we’ve talked about so far…
 Do you compare yourself to others?Do you compare yourself to others?
 How does comparison affect your life?How does comparison affect your life?
Dare Not to CompareDare Not to Compare

16. Why do people compareWhy do people compare
themselves to others?themselves to others?
 Candy for pushupsCandy for pushups
 It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-13)It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-13)

17. Elder Boyd K.Elder Boyd K.
PackerPacker
EnsignEnsign, May, May
1989, 51989, 5
““I know that you sometimes feel thatI know that you sometimes feel that
life isn’t fair; why can’t you have thingslife isn’t fair; why can’t you have things
that others have. You even wonder whythat others have. You even wonder why
you can’tyou can’t bebe somebody else andsomebody else and
exchange your body with someone whoexchange your body with someone who
appears to be more beautiful orappears to be more beautiful or
handsome or talented or brighter orhandsome or talented or brighter or
stronger or thinner; or changestronger or thinner; or change
personalities with someone who is notpersonalities with someone who is not
so shy or blundering or frightened asso shy or blundering or frightened as
you are. Sometimes you wonder whyyou are. Sometimes you wonder why
you can’t trade your parents for someyou can’t trade your parents for some
better ones. No need to apologize; theybetter ones. No need to apologize; they
sometimes wish they could trade you.”sometimes wish they could trade you.”

18. What makes people compareWhat makes people compare
themselves to others?themselves to others?
 It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-16)It’s not fair! (Matthew 20:1-16)
 Pride (Annemarie praying).Pride (Annemarie praying).

19. President Dieter F.President Dieter F.
Uchtdorf,Uchtdorf, EnsignEnsign,,
Nov. 2010Nov. 2010
““At its core, pride is aAt its core, pride is a
sin of comparison, forsin of comparison, for
though it usuallythough it usually
begins with “Lookbegins with “Look
how wonderful I amhow wonderful I am
and what great thingsand what great things
I have done,” it alwaysI have done,” it always
seems to end withseems to end with
“Therefore, I am“Therefore, I am
better than you.””better than you.””

20. President BensonPresident Benson,,
“Beware of Pride”“Beware of Pride”
The proud depend upon theThe proud depend upon the
world to tell them whether theyworld to tell them whether they
have value or not. Their self-have value or not. Their self-
esteem is determined by whereesteem is determined by where
they are judged to be on thethey are judged to be on the
ladders of worldly success. Theyladders of worldly success. They
feel worthwhile as individuals iffeel worthwhile as individuals if
the numbers beneath them inthe numbers beneath them in
achievement, talent, beauty, orachievement, talent, beauty, or
intellect are large enough. Prideintellect are large enough. Pride
is ugly. It says, “If you succeed,is ugly. It says, “If you succeed,
I am a failure.”I am a failure.”

21. 3 Types of Comparing3 Types of Comparing
 ““I’m better”I’m better”
 ““I’m worse”I’m worse”
 Comparing on looksComparing on looks

22. ““I’m Better”I’m Better”
 D&C 82:3D&C 82:3
 2 youth scripture reading comparison2 youth scripture reading comparison
 Dare not to compare on obedience.Dare not to compare on obedience.
 Blowing up a mailboxBlowing up a mailbox
 ““If you break the rules…”If you break the rules…”
 ““Everybody else has a girlfriend?”Everybody else has a girlfriend?”
 1 John 5:31 John 5:3

23. President BensonPresident Benson,,
“Beware of Pride”“Beware of Pride”
““If we love God,If we love God,
do His will, anddo His will, and
fear His judgmentfear His judgment
more than men’s,more than men’s,
we will have self-we will have self-
esteem.”esteem.”

24. ““I’m worse”I’m worse”
 Are you BradAre you Brad WilcoxWilcox??
 We often compare others’ strong areasWe often compare others’ strong areas
with our weaknesses.with our weaknesses.
 1 Samuel 16:71 Samuel 16:7
 Following quote from Elder HollandFollowing quote from Elder Holland

25. Elder Jeffrey R.Elder Jeffrey R.
HollandHolland
EnsignEnsign, May, 2002, May, 2002
““Who is it that whispers soWho is it that whispers so
subtly in our ear that a giftsubtly in our ear that a gift
given to another somehowgiven to another somehow
diminishes the blessings wediminishes the blessings we
have received? Who makeshave received? Who makes
us feel that if God isus feel that if God is
smiling on another, thensmiling on another, then
He surely must somehowHe surely must somehow
be frowning on us? Yoube frowning on us? You
and I both know who doesand I both know who does
this—it is the father of allthis—it is the father of all
lies. It is Lucifer, ourlies. It is Lucifer, our
common enemy”common enemy”

26. Elder Jeffrey R.Elder Jeffrey R.
HollandHolland
EnsignEnsign, Nov., 2005, Nov., 2005
““I plead with youI plead with you……toto
please be moreplease be more
accepting ofaccepting of
yourselves, includingyourselves, including
your body shape andyour body shape and
style, with a little lessstyle, with a little less
longing to look likelonging to look like
someone else. We aresomeone else. We are
all different.”all different.”
Comparison onComparison on
lookslooks

27. All my life I hear from the worldAll my life I hear from the world
You’re not enoughYou’re not enough
You’re not prettyYou’re not pretty
You scare everyoneYou scare everyone
You make them all run awayYou make them all run away
I hear my Savior replyI hear my Savior reply
You are enoughYou are enough
You are beautifulYou are beautiful
you are a light in the darknessyou are a light in the darkness
be who you want to bebe who you want to be

28. All my life the world tries to tell meAll my life the world tries to tell me
She is prettierShe is prettier
she is better than youshe is better than you
I hear my Savior reply to my fearsI hear my Savior reply to my fears
You are enough just look upYou are enough just look up
I love youI love you
SmileSmile
Hold your head highHold your head high
Take hold of my handTake hold of my hand
Never let goNever let go

29. How Can YouHow Can You
“DARE NOT TO COMPARE”?“DARE NOT TO COMPARE”?
Don’t wish you were someone else (Hel. 7:7-8)
Always lift up others (Be a builder)
Remember who you are (Moses 1:4,6,7,12)
Ether 12:27

30. Building versus Tearing DownBuilding versus Tearing Down
I watched them tearing a building down,I watched them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town.A gang of men in a busy town.
With a ho, heave, ho and a lusty yell,With a ho, heave, ho and a lusty yell,
They swung the beam and a side wall fell.They swung the beam and a side wall fell.
I asked the foreman, "Are these men skilled?,I asked the foreman, "Are these men skilled?,
The kind you'd hire if you were to build?"The kind you'd hire if you were to build?"
He gave a laugh and said, "No, indeed, common labor is all I need.He gave a laugh and said, "No, indeed, common labor is all I need.
I can easily wreck in a day or two,I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken years to do."What builders have taken years to do."
And so I asked as I went my way,And so I asked as I went my way,
which of these roles have I tried to play?which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder with a well-made plan, lifting others the best I can?Am I a builder with a well-made plan, lifting others the best I can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks the town,Or am I a wrecker who walks the town,
Content with the labor of tearing down?Content with the labor of tearing down?

31. We Learn by DoingWe Learn by Doing
 Although you can compare in a good way, usually comparingAlthough you can compare in a good way, usually comparing
makes you feel bad.makes you feel bad.
 What causes people to compare?What causes people to compare?
 ““It’s not fair”It’s not fair”
 PridePride
 Comparing “I’m better” “I’m worse”, and on looksComparing “I’m better” “I’m worse”, and on looks
Don’t wish you were someone else (Hel. 7:7-8)
Always lift up others (Be a builder)
Remember who you are (Moses 1:4,6,7,12)
Ether 12:27

32. A Challenge For You:A Challenge For You:
““They…comparing themselvesThey…comparing themselves
among themselves, are not wise”among themselves, are not wise”
(2 Corinthians 10:12).(2 Corinthians 10:12).
Spend 48 hours really focusing onSpend 48 hours really focusing on
not comparing yourself to others.not comparing yourself to others.
What do you notice?What do you notice?

33. Elder Jeffrey R.Elder Jeffrey R.
HollandHolland
EnsignEnsign, May, 2001, May, 2001
““I testify that no one of usI testify that no one of us
is less treasured oris less treasured or
cherished of God thancherished of God than
another. I testify that Heanother. I testify that He
loves each of us—loves each of us—
insecurities, anxieties, self-insecurities, anxieties, self-
image, and all. He doesn'timage, and all. He doesn't
measure our talents or ourmeasure our talents or our
looks; He doesn't measurelooks; He doesn't measure
our professions or ourour professions or our
possessions. He cheers onpossessions. He cheers on
everyevery runner, calling out thatrunner, calling out that
the race is against sin,the race is against sin, notnot
against each other.”against each other.”