1. About BDSM

2.  What exactly is BDSM?
 Bondage and Discipline, Domination and
Submission, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM)
is any situation where people - of their own
free will and choice - magnify the personal
power elements between them and act this
out for their pleasure.
 This may be sexual pleasure, but it does not
always have to be.

3.  Are there different forms of BDSM?
 Yes there are many different forms of BDSM. The two main
forms are these:
• Lifestyle BDSM - This is the form where partners embed BDSM
elements in their relationship in some way.
• Kink or fetish BDSM - This is the form where people, occasionally, seek
to use power elements, predominantly for their sexual pleasure, without
turning it into a lifestyle.

One is not more important, or more real, than the other. The
two forms are just different. Quite often people grow from
"kink" to "lifestyle"

4.  Is BDSM abnormal?
 There are power elements in all forms of human
behavior: at work, at home, in politics, in sports
and in (sexual) relationships.
 Magnifying the power element in your relationship
is not abnormal.
 The current opinion among professionals is that
consensual power exchange between informed
and well-adjusted adults is normal and harmless
(sexual) behavior.

5.  What "causes" BDSM feelings?
 It appears that genetic encoding may have
something to do with this and it may also be that
upbringing, social environment and education may
have an influence.
 We simply do not know the definite answer.
 It is estimated that between 15 and 30 percent of
the adult Western population nurtures some form
of BDSM emotions.

6.  Why is there such a social stygma on BDSM?
 A significant part of the general public opinion on
BDSM is based on very outdated information
 Xenophobia (fear of the unknown) plays an
important role when it comes to the general
opinion about BDSM
 Same can be said about the ill-informed coverage
of the subject by excess-oriented media.
 Lack of reliable, dilligent scientific research on the
subject also plays a part in this.

7.  Are the people who are very dominant in real
life submissive in bed?
 The fairy tale about high profile politicians or
managers seeking to be submissive in bed
originates from prostitutes trying to promote their
services.
 There is no proven connection between general
social behavior and sexual behavior.
 Sexual behavior is a very individual thing, hence
very different for individual people.

8.  Are people with a BDSM-inclination not all victims of
childhood trauma or abuse?
 The number of people with a (juvenile or other) traumatic
background is not greater nor smaller than it is in any other
social group.
 General level of tolerance within the "BDSM group" allows for
more discussion about such subjects and the "BDSM
community" is one of the very few social groups that actually
and actively sets up help and support facilities for such cases.
 There is no reason why people with a trauma history should
not enter into BDSM-activity, provided they seek professional
help and - on a personal level - deal with the trauma FIRST
and OUTSIDE a BDSM-situation.

9.  At what age do BDSM-emotions emerge?
 About 25 percent of the "BDSM population” has
nurtured BDSM-like emotions from a very young age.
 Plenty of these people can remember being fascinated
by power situations before the age of 12.
 Many others have discovered their BDSM
preference at a much later stage.
 It often comes after dramatic events in their personal
life, such as a divorce.
 Such events causes people to think about themselves,
their personalities, preferences and needs.

10.  Why are many people so secretive about their BDSM
emotions?
 It is not easy to have to tell the world you are "different".
 This is true for everyone, who nurtures emotions, feelings or
ideals that do not coinside with their social environment.
 The phenomena is known as "coming out (of the closet)”
 That is a difficult process that requires a lot of juggling
between defending and explaining yourself to a probably
unwilling audience.
 Quite often this even leads to a situation where people -
regretfully - are too scared to even tell their partner about their
emotions.

11.  If so many people nurture these feelings at young
age, why isn't there any information available for them?
 Much depends on the country you were born in.
 In most countries sexual education in general leaves much to
be desired.
 About 70 percent of the world population picks up their sexual
information from their friends, pornography, excess-oriented
media, mistress listings…
 Not everyone, who (temporarily) may nurture BDSM-like
emotions during puberty and adolescense, eventually
develops a persistant interest in BDSM, since much of this has
to do with the more general sexual experimental
phase, everyone goes through at young age.
 It is very important youngsters follow their own path, without
too many outside influences.