Manners Matter
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Presentation on business dinner etiquette for employees
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Manners Matter
- 1. Manners a brief guide to modern-day business dinner etiquette MATTER
- 3. We know it isn’t this.
- 4. And, it’s definitely not this.
- 5. It’s not about the meal.
- 6. It’s about building relationships… with supervisors, colleagues and clients.
- 7. “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” – Emily Post
- 8. Research shows that 93% of what someone remembers after meeting you for the first time is how you looked and how you behaved.
- 9. A little preparation goes a long way. PERSONAL CURRENT EVENTS WEATHER and INFORMATION LOCAL CELEBS and SPORTS POLITICS, RELIGION and SEX
- 10. p o n yo u r arrival BEING PHONE CELL SEATED NAPKIN TIME INTRODUCTIONS
- 11. Food Allergies Bread and Butter Drinks In/Out starter s
- 12. the entrée ASK QUESTIONS WHEN TO START EATING CHEWING UTENSILS
- 13. Be gracious. WRITE A THANK YOU.
- 14. “If you can stop and think before you act, you’re going to avoid 99% of the etiquette problems you might encounter.” - Dan Post Senning
- 15. “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” Clarence Thomas
- 16. Presented by: Moore & Jessica Vanderslice Reba
Hinweis der Redaktion
- What is etiquette? Most people have a pretty good idea of what etiquette is and isn’t.
- We know it isn’t this.
- And it’s definitely not this.
- But, it might surprise you to know that it’s not about the meal either.
- Instead, etiquette is really just about building relationships — with supervisors, colleagues and clients.
- In the words of the etiquette queen herself, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
- Still, we’re going to cover what fork to use because, according to The Madison School of Etiquette and Protocol…”Research shows…”
- Know that the meal is a time to interact with your fellow diners, which is way more important than actually eating. In other words, the meal itself is secondary to communicating with others at the table. With this in mind, educate yourself on some topics of conversation. The Emily Post Institute has identified tiers of conversation. The first tier is the safe topics: weather, sports, local celebrities and current events. You have a green light on bringing up these topics of discussion. With the second tier, you should proceed with caution; its topics are more interesting but also more potentially controversial. They are: politics, religion and sex. The third tier is personal information and should generally only be reached with people with whom you are familiar or with someone who introduces the topic first.
- Now, let’s cover a few specifics… Arriving: Time: Arrive a few minutes early and wait for your guest(s) in the lobby. No matter what, don’t be late. Cell phone: Turn it off. Do not talk on the phone or text. If you’re expecting a call that absolutely cannot wait, inform your host/client/guest ahead of time. Do what you can to avoid this, though. Intros: Upon meeting your guests, introduce each party individually beginning with the guest of honor(s). For example, if you’re introducing Mr. CEO to your company’s Vice President of Research and Development, you say, “Mr. CEO, I’d like to introduce you to Ms. Smith, our VP of R & D. Ms. Smith this is Mr. CEO.” Anytime a new person joins your conversation, make appropriate introductions. Be inclusive. Being seated: If seating is not pre-arranged, generally the guest should sit to the right of the host; avoid seating the guest facing mirrors, walls, the server’s station or the kitchen door, if possible. In a business setting, do not pull out a chair for the females of the party, as each person should be treated equally. Napkin: As soon as everyone is seated, put the napkin in your lap. If you need to leave the table, place it loosely to the left of your plate. Use your napkin throughout the meal by discreetly dabbing at the corners of your mouth; it’s there for a reason. Water at the table: You may sip the water once you are seated and if it is already poured for everyone. Do not order another drink ahead of everyone else.
- Starters: Ordering drinks: Take your cue from the host, but water, tea and juice are safe bets. If you do order a drink, abide by the one-drink rule. Bread/butter: Do not partake of the bread basket or any other communal food item until the host has done so or asks others to do so. If you are asked to pass the bread basket (or any other type of communal food item), serve first the person to your left, then yourself, and then pass to the right. To eat bread, first put a portion of butter on your bread plate, then tear a piece of bread and butter just the piece you are going to eat. Eat one piece at a time rather than biting into the whole roll/piece of bread. Food goes in the same way it comes out: If you happen to eat something that you cannot swallow, you should take it out of your mouth the same way it went in. So, for example, if you eat an olive and need to take the pit out of your mouth — if you used your hand to eat it, use your hand to take it out. By the same token, if you put it in your mouth with a fork, take it out with a fork. Food allergies: If you know the menu ahead of time, make arrangements with the host or restaurant. If you can't eat something served to you, just leave it and don't draw attention to it. Health issued should be avoided as a topic of discussion.
- Entree: When to start eating: Only begin eating after everyone has been served. Here again, take your cues from the host. If for some reason someone’s meal has to be sent back to the kitchen and he or she asks you to begin eating, comply with those wishes. Utensils: Remember the “outside in” rule. With each course, start with the utensil on the outside of your table setting and work your way in. For example, the salad fork will be on the far left, generally followed by the entrée fork. The soup spoon will be on the far right. If dessert is to be served, the fork or spoon will often be above the entrée plate. When trying to determine which bread plate and water glass is yours, remember that bread is on your left and drinks are on your right. If you forget, you can do the “ok” trick where you make the “ok” sign with each hand and see that your left hand forms a “b” for bread and your right hand forms a “d” for drinks. If someone takes your bread plate or water glass, simply (and quietly) request that the server bring you another so as not to create a ripple effect for the rest of the table. Chewing: Pretty standard stuff — don’t chew with your mouth open; don’ t talk with food in your mouth; and take small bites so that you aren ’ t caught chewing for a long time if someone asks you a question. If you have a question about how to eat something (like oysters) just ask your host or the person sitting next to you.
- A final thought: Handwritten thank-you notes go a long way in our electronic culture. They will set you apart. If you want to send something immediately, write an email, but then follow up with a handwritten note. Do this especially if you were the one being treated; but you can also write a client to express gratitude for his/her company at lunch/dinner and to simply remark that you enjoyed your time together.
- One thing to keep in mind when you get frazzled by the “rules” — when it comes down to it, according to Dan Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute and the great-great grandson of Ms. Post herself, “If you can stop and think…” Time for Questions [*I don’t think that the next slide is necessary but I liked the quote.]