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Revising the Whole Document forRevising the Whole Document for
CoherenceCoherence
• Have you left outHave you left out
anything in turning youranything in turning your
outline into a draft?outline into a draft?
• Have you included allHave you included all
the elements yourthe elements your
readers expect to see?readers expect to see?
• Is the organizationIs the organization
logical?logical?
• Is the content strong?Is the content strong?
Chapter 10. Writing CoherentChapter 10. Writing Coherent
Documents © 2007 byDocuments © 2007 by
Bedford/St. Martin'sBedford/St. Martin's
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Summertown Sun Publishing Sucks!Summertown Sun Publishing Sucks!
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An Effective Title is PreciseAn Effective Title is Precise
• An effective title has both a subject and purpose.An effective title has both a subject and purpose.
• Offering Free Cholesterol Screening at Thrall Associates: A Feasibility StudyOffering Free Cholesterol Screening at Thrall Associates: A Feasibility Study
• If your document is an internal report discussing company business, you might not need to identifyIf your document is an internal report discussing company business, you might not need to identify
the company. In that case, the following would be clear:the company. In that case, the following would be clear:
• Offering Free Cholesterol Screening: A Feasibility StudyOffering Free Cholesterol Screening: A Feasibility Study
• A Feasibility Study of Offering Free Cholesterol ScreeningA Feasibility Study of Offering Free Cholesterol Screening
33

Evaluate the Following TitlesEvaluate the Following Titles
• How To Beat A Murder RapHow To Beat A Murder Rap
•
• HypnotismHypnotism
A Romance Depicting How She Blinded Me With ScienceA Romance Depicting How She Blinded Me With Science
• Tempted into the Tycoon's Trap: A Feasibility StudyTempted into the Tycoon's Trap: A Feasibility Study
• Car DealersCar Dealers
44

Draft a Title for the Following ImageDraft a Title for the Following Image
55

A writer at ColdTec Accounting has just
completed a draft of an internal report
describing a recent drop in enrollment in the
company’s training course entitled “Web Linking
and Publishing with Microsoft Excel 2003,” offered
to new employees. Which of the following titles
would be most appropriate for the report?

 The Changing Needs of New Employees at
ColdTec
 Choosing a Training Class: “Web Linking and
Publishing with Microsoft Excel 2003”
 An Analysis of Declining Enrollment in “Web
Linking and Publishing with Microsoft Excel 2003”
 Declining Enrollment in Training Classes Offered
at ColdTec

Revising the WholeRevising the Whole
DocumentDocument
• Do you come across asDo you come across as
reliable, honest, and helpful?reliable, honest, and helpful?
• Are all the elements presentedAre all the elements presented
consistently?consistently?
• Is the emphasis appropriateIs the emphasis appropriate
throughout the document?throughout the document?

Guidelines for RevisingGuidelines for Revising
HeadingsHeadings
•Avoid long noun strings.Avoid long noun strings.
•Be informative.Be informative.
•Avoid back-to-backAvoid back-to-back
headings.headings.
88

Avoid Long Noun StringsAvoid Long Noun Strings

Revise: Proposed ProductionRevise: Proposed Production
Enhancement Strategies AnalysisEnhancement Strategies Analysis
TechniquesTechniques
99

Separate Headings from TextSeparate Headings from Text
• 3. Approaches to Neighborhood Policing3. Approaches to Neighborhood Policing
• Over the past decade, the scholarly communityOver the past decade, the scholarly community
has concluded that community policing offershas concluded that community policing offers
significant advantages over the traditionalsignificant advantages over the traditional
approach based on patrolling in police cars.approach based on patrolling in police cars.
1010

Advance OrganizerAdvance Organizer
• The text after the heading “3. Approaches toThe text after the heading “3. Approaches to
Neighborhood Policing,” is called anNeighborhood Policing,” is called an advanceadvance
organizerorganizer, and indicates the background,, and indicates the background,
purpose, scope, and organization of thepurpose, scope, and organization of the
discussion that follows.discussion that follows.
1111

Write a title, advanced organizerWrite a title, advanced organizer
and heading for the followingand heading for the following
image:image:
1212

Solve the riddle:Solve the riddle:
Imagine a widely used and expensiveImagine a widely used and expensive
prescription drug that claimed to makeprescription drug that claimed to make
us beautiful but didn’t. Instead the drugus beautiful but didn’t. Instead the drug
had frequent, serious side effects:had frequent, serious side effects:
making us stupid, degrading the qualitymaking us stupid, degrading the quality
and credibility of our communication,and credibility of our communication,
turning us into bores, wasting ourturning us into bores, wasting our
colleagues’ time. The side effects, andcolleagues’ time. The side effects, and
the resulting unsatisfactory cost/benefitthe resulting unsatisfactory cost/benefit
ratio, would rightly lead to a worldwideratio, would rightly lead to a worldwide
product recall.product recall.
——from Edward Tufte’s new leaflet,from Edward Tufte’s new leaflet,
The Cognitive Style of PowerPointThe Cognitive Style of PowerPoint,,
which just came in the mailwhich just came in the mail
1313

Advantages of Turning ParagraphsAdvantages of Turning Paragraphs
into Listsinto Lists
It forces you to:It forces you to:
• look at the big picturelook at the big picture
• examine the sequenceexamine the sequence
• create a clear lead-increate a clear lead-in
• tighten and clarify your prosetighten and clarify your prose
1414

 The paragraph below could be improved by doing which of the
following? (Choose all that apply.)

 As an undergraduate student, you can satisfy the University Writing
Requirement and meet an important graduation requirement by
scoring a 4 or 5 on either of the Advanced Placement English Exams
(Language & Composition or Literature & Composition). You can
also meet this requirement by receiving transfer credit for an
approved college-level writing or writing-intensive course you have
taken elsewhere and received a grade of "B" or higher. Finally, you
can meet this requirement by taking and receiving a passing grade
in a writing course at this university. The following two courses, for
example, are dedicated primarily to the development of writing skills
and can be used to meet the writing requirement: English 205
(Technical Communication) or English 200 (Rhetoric and Writing). If
you have any further questions, please call Professor Lee Klein,
Director of Writing Programs, in the Department of English at (518)
555-8122.

 inserting transitional words and phrases
 turning the paragraph into a list
 beginning with a topic sentence
 using demonstrative pronouns

Two Kinds of ParagraphsTwo Kinds of Paragraphs
• AA body paragraphbody paragraph, the basic unit for, the basic unit for
communicating information, is a group ofcommunicating information, is a group of
sentences (or sometimes a single sentence) that issentences (or sometimes a single sentence) that is
complete and self-sufficient and that contributescomplete and self-sufficient and that contributes
to a larger discussion.to a larger discussion.
• AA transitional paragraphtransitional paragraph helps readers move fromhelps readers move from
one major point to another.one major point to another.
1616

Two Elements of MostTwo Elements of Most
ParagraphsParagraphs
• TheThe topic sentencetopic sentence summarizes or forecasts thesummarizes or forecasts the
main point of the paragraph.main point of the paragraph.
• TheThe supportsupport makes the topic sentence clear andmakes the topic sentence clear and
convincing.convincing.
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Guidelines for Dividing LongGuidelines for Dividing Long
ParagraphsParagraphs
• Break the discussion at a logical place.Break the discussion at a logical place.
• Make the topic sentence a separateMake the topic sentence a separate
paragraph and break up the support.paragraph and break up the support.
• Use a list.Use a list.
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A writer is considering revising the long paragraph below. Where is the bestA writer is considering revising the long paragraph below. Where is the best
place to start the second paragraph?place to start the second paragraph?
Although graphics can enhance a Web site, they can also serve as a distraction.Although graphics can enhance a Web site, they can also serve as a distraction.
Having too many graphics that do not contribute to the content of the site mayHaving too many graphics that do not contribute to the content of the site may
make your company appear unprofessional, as well as contributing to slowmake your company appear unprofessional, as well as contributing to slow
download times. Your site, for example, has thirty moving images.download times. Your site, for example, has thirty moving images. (1)(1) SuchSuch
images do not reflect the serious nature of your business. When it comes toimages do not reflect the serious nature of your business. When it comes to
graphics, we suggest you adopt a “less is more” approach.graphics, we suggest you adopt a “less is more” approach. (2)(2) AnotherAnother
troublesome feature of your site is the scrolling banner used as a navigationtroublesome feature of your site is the scrolling banner used as a navigation
element. In order to reach certain pages on your site, users must quickly click theelement. In order to reach certain pages on your site, users must quickly click the
links scrolling across the banner. If they miss the link, they must wait another 20links scrolling across the banner. If they miss the link, they must wait another 20
seconds until the link scrolls by again.seconds until the link scrolls by again. (3)(3) Because this site is not designed to beBecause this site is not designed to be
a game but rather a place for customers to learn more about handling hazardousa game but rather a place for customers to learn more about handling hazardous
materials, you should not use a scrolling banner as a navigation element. Wematerials, you should not use a scrolling banner as a navigation element. We
recommend that you use standard navigation buttons aligned along the leftrecommend that you use standard navigation buttons aligned along the left
margin or across the top of the page. Also, you may want to include a text-onlymargin or across the top of the page. Also, you may want to include a text-only
navigation element at the bottom of the page.navigation element at the bottom of the page.
• at (1)at (1)
• at (2)at (2)
• at (3)at (3)
• None of the above, most effective as one paragraphNone of the above, most effective as one paragraph

Emphasizing CoherenceEmphasizing Coherence
• Use transitional words and phrases.Use transitional words and phrases.
• Repeat key words.Repeat key words.
• Use demonstrative pronouns followed by nouns.Use demonstrative pronouns followed by nouns.
2020

Transitional WordsTransitional Words
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Demonstrative Pronouns FollowedDemonstrative Pronouns Followed
by Nounsby Nouns

Use Demonstrative PronounsUse Demonstrative Pronouns
Followed by NounsFollowed by Nouns
2323

Repeating Key WordsRepeating Key Words
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A writer wants to signal to readers that
because land-use problems are causing high
bacteria levels, landowners must take action.
Which of the following words or phrases is
most appropriate in the excerpt below?
Bacteria levels are often above state
standards and are due to localized, specific
land use problems. _____, efforts with
landowners will be necessary to address
these problems and reduce the high bacteria
levels.

 Nevertheless
 For example
 Next
 Consequently

Creating a Coherent DesignCreating a Coherent Design
• Use headers and footers to enhanceUse headers and footers to enhance
coherence.coherence.
• Use typefaces to enhance coherence.Use typefaces to enhance coherence.
• Use the styles feature to make the design ofUse the styles feature to make the design of
different elements consistent.different elements consistent.
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