This surprise talk was given on 2014-06-03 at Riviera.rb. The slides are really just up for reference: unless you're a sociopathic genius with an uncanny cultural fit, you're really not going to understand much without the speech.

1. riviera.rb
This Talk Has No Title
Yet
Jean-Baptiste Mazon
@jbmazon

2. May contain trace amounts of
● ruby (twitter request)
● beer
● Java 8
● one or two other
obscure languages
● no livecoding

5. GoF
● abstract factory
● builder
● factory method
● prototype
● singleton
● adapter
● bridge
● composite
● decorator
● facade
● flyweight
● proxy
● chain of responsibility
● command
● interpreter
● iterator
● mediator
● memento
● observer
● state
● strategy
● template method
● visitor

6. Multiton

7. Multiton

8. RAII

10. RAII
● Resource Acquisition Is Initialization
● C++
● Perl, Python, PHP
● CADR

11. Speaking of Lisp

12. Norvig
● abstract factory
● builder
● factory method
● prototype
● singleton
● adapter
● bridge
● composite
● decorator
● facade
● flyweight
● proxy
● chain of responsibility
● command
● interpreter
● iterator
● mediator
● memento
● observer
● state
● strategy
● template method
● visitor

13. Wired
● master/slave
● CSMA/CD
● token ring
● sneakernet

14. Locking
● acquire
● release
● read-write lock
● deadlock
● spinlock

15. Antipatterns
● race hazard
● input kludge
● busy waiting
● magic numbers
● magic strings
● action at a distance
● error hiding
● magic pushbutton
● hard code
● soft code
● database-as-IPC
● programming by
permutation
● copy and paste
programming
● cargo cult programming

16. Cargo Cult

17. Error Hiding
begin
ImportFile(filename)
rescue
raise SomeException, 'import
failed'
end

18. Modeling
● anemic domain model
● BaseBean
● circle-ellipse
● god class, god object

19. Design

20. Design
● spaghetti code
● ravioli code
● lasagna code
● big ball of mud
● inner-platform effect
● tester driven development

21. Maintenance
● circular dependency
● dependency hell
● DLL hell
● JAR hell
● boat anchor

22. A few others
● gold plating
● golden hammer
● silver bullet
● not invented here
● invented here
● premature optimization
● repeating yourself
● reinventing the
square wheel
● abstraction inversion
● pattern abuse and overuse

23. Consider this simple code
[-]+++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++
.---.+++++++..+++.

24. Simplifying
def h
puts
'HELLO'
end
h
h
h
h

25. A last one

26. Thank you!