From www.RagnarokTraining.com The Zombie Run Preparedness Chart: The Survivor Edition! Do you think you have what it takes to tackle The Zombie Run? How much training have you done? It's time for a gut-check. It's time for some soul-searching. It's time to assess your preparedness for the Race. Check out the Preparedness Chart and see how much extra training you need to put in before the big show. Then hop over to www.RagnarokTraining.com and find out how to do it.

1. Preparedness Chart
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3. “When you are in my house, you follow my rules.
And this is my house!
“Wait, what do you mean
Zombies do not play by the rules?
…What am I supposed to do now?
•
Surviving Zombieland takes cunning, fortitude, and
resourcefulness...along with strict adherence to the rules. Because if
you are going to have any chance at surviving an onslaught of braineating, undead goo-bags…you gotta have rules. Columbus was smart
enough to know this, and kept himself alive much longer than the rest
of the population.
•
Unfortunately, it takes more to survive the Apocalypse, then just rules
alone. Without proper training, strength, power, courage, dashing good
looks, or Tallahassee around to carry him through, his end was
inevitable.
•
If you are like Columbus, you will never even make it to the race. You’ll
probably fall victim to the Zombie Horde while sitting on the toilet,
trying to push out a new rule to follow.

5. “Follow me if you want to live!
Now was it a right or a left to the pub?
“Hey where did all these Zombies come from?
…Bollocks.
•
When all hell breaks loose, it makes sense to rely on your close friends
and to stick to the places you know well. Beyond that, your chance of
survival is directly proportional to your ability to turn ordinary objects
into weapons of destruction. Remember, it does not matter who you
were yesterday, it matters who you are now.
•
Of course when your closest mates only skill is beating Tekken 2, your
most familiar place is the local pub, and a cricket bat is your weapon of
choice, your chances of survival do not exactly equal Rambo status.
Courage without skill is like racing without training: you may be able to
fake it for a moment, but chances are you will not make it past lunch
time.
•
If you are like Shaun of the Dead, the first zombie wave on Race-Day
will quite likely be more potent than your liquid courage, and you will
quickly find yourself a part of the mindless masses. . . quite literally.

7. “They were not psychos, they were vampires.
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them,
I do not care how crazy they are!
“But these damned things, nothing I do fazes them.
Not crosses, stakes, or holy water.
Lets see what tequila does....for me.
•
The ability to adapt and overcome is the underlying tenant to surviving
the Apocalypse. Seth Gecko is the embodiment of adaptation; he
befriends his own hostages to fight off the unholy creatures attacking
him, stakes his brother when he was lost to the evil, and is able to
survive From Dusk Till Dawn without being lost himself.
•
But natural ability and luck can only take you so far in life. When Seth
thought his natural propensity towards kicking Vampire-Ass would
transfer to the Race-Course, he was dead wrong. Without support,
shelter, or an awesome Quentin Tarantino script to follow, he found
himself overwhelmed shortly after starting, and sent to a fiery place
where Batman and Robin plays nonstop 24/7.
•
Realize that without sport-specific training, your days . . . and nights
are numbered. If you want to be able to make it through a Zombieinfested obstacle course with your brains intact, you had better take
your training out of the gym, and into the deep woods. Just come
prepared, or you may find yourself staying much longer than
expected. . .

9. “I got what you want . . .
A cute face, and athletic body,
Straight As, a great social circle,
2 boyfriends, and a hell of a nightlife.
“But, can you open this bottle for me . . . tee hee?
•
While Seth may have stepped up when it was time, this girl was
predestined for her job, her name is Buffy The Vampire Slayer, after
all. Able to handle vampires, demons, the end of the world, and high
school all at the same time, she is the antithesis to the dumb blond.
•
Despite being the chosen one, and training her entire life to thwart evil,
she is still just a high-school aged girl. Without maturity, and the
strength that comes with it, her overall power production is limited.
Buffy was able to make it half way through the Race-Course until she
tuckered herself out fighting off the Zombie Hoard while trying to scale
the walls. With her strength drained she retired to the easier job of
staking bloodsuckers after third period math.
•
Natural ability or no, you need to train, and you need to train
specifically for the race. And that training has to include both upper
and lower body strength. Without building that strength, you will find
yourself slowly slipping down the wall, and into the eager hands of the
decaying masses below . . . and they do not care what color your hair
is, they just want whats underneath . . .

11. “Stakes, silver, gun powder, gattling gun . . . check.
I will bring the wrath of God to all that is unholy and unjust.
“Of course, with the way the world looks,
I think I have a lot of work ahead of me . . .
•
Gabriel is also a vampire slayer, but his bloodline is a bit thicker than Buffys. He
is the greatest of a long line of hunters who have fought the demons of this world
from the beginning, and it was he who delivered the fatal blow to the near
immortal Dracula.
•
With courage, training, and skill, Van Helsing moved swiftly through the Undead
masses, sending many back to their upturned graves. However, after centuries of
fighting the darkness, his endurance has diminished. Near the end of mile 2 the
exertion needed to trudge through the mud and muck takes a toll on him, and he
disappears. There are those that think he succumbed to the Undead, but the wise
know that he deftly exited when he had a chance and is now off chasing bigger
evils, like the Beast that inhabits the Spartan Race.
•
Sure, you can stake vampires and shoot werewolves, but can you outlast the
Zombie Horde? Agility and cunning will help, but endurance is a necessity. If you
can not run from start to end, you will be caught. And you may be strong enough
to fight them off for a while, but not forever. Its ok though, because when its all
over, you will have a never-ending supply of energy . . . and a never-ending
hunger for brains.

13. “My job is death.
Living, or Dead, if it once took breathe, I can do my job.
“As for the Living Dead . . . they require overtime.
•
As a Death Dealer Selene has spent centuries perfecting the art of
slaying Lycans. And when she was betrayed by Vampires, she added
them to her hit list. Cold and skilled, she stood between two
supernatural armies and sent them both to the Underworld. Born
human, turned vampire, and now something more, her job is war, and
she is good at what she does.
•
Upon entering the race Selene found herself hunted once again. But
being used to killing things that can actually die, she wasn't fully
trained for the endless droves of Zombie Masses. So with the finish line
in sight, she set fire to the entire Race-Course to end the threat. While
brutally effective, this also effectively ended the race for her, and she
was never able to finish.
•
Unless you have been trained since childhood to destroy armies, you
need more training. Team Trainings do not occur every day, so you
need to put some time in on your own doing the Ragnarok Individual
Trainings to develop your GPP and GMT. When you're surrounded by
the Horde, if you can not keep yourself together, they will gladly tear
you apart.

15. “You will feel pain, and you will ask for mercy.
But I shall grant you none.
“I alone fight this battle. I alone am your destroyer.
. . . And alone I remain.
•
The DayWalker, Blade, travels through the light and the dark to
destroy those that took everything away from him and in the process
made him who he is. He has spent his entire life preparing to flood the
Undead world with death, and burn all that does not sink. To those
that do not know fear, he is fear incarnate.
•
Blade has trained for this day since he could walk. He dispatches the
Race-Course as if it were a ghoul itself. Leaving a path of decaying body
parts still squirming and clutching for him, he moves through the
course swiftly, pausing only for a moment at the finish line to admire
the setting sun. And as he removes one final Zombie head from its past
owner he wishes his friend was still around to enjoy the party.
•
You may have trained your whole life for this day and may be more
than ready to tackle the horrors that are to come. But the Lone Wolf act
only works for so long. Join Ragnarok, and gain the support you have
always needed, whether you knew you needed it or not. Otherwise, a
time will come when you wished you had another set of eyes, a second
pair of ears, or an extra set of hands...to stop the bleeding.

17. “This is me calm.
If I were angry, the world might never recover.
“I need neither solace, assistance, nor understanding.
All I need is answers . . . and I have a lot of questions.
•
Almost everything about Alice is a mystery. Her past, her motives, her
abilities. All that is truly known is her lethality. There is no Zombie in
this world that can withstand the Resident Evil that she is able to dish
out. Brought back from death, genetically enhanced, and totally pissed
off, to survive her wrath your only hope is not to get infected.
•
Alice is a weapon, and she unleashes herself upon the Race-Course.
Nothing ever had a chance, and nothing so much as slows her step.
Yet, despite her effort, she finds she is far from first-place. While her
attempt was flawless, there were quicker and easier ways to finish the
course.
•
As bad as you are, you are not a genetically engineered weapon, and
you cannot hope to float through the course with ease. You may work
as hard as you possibly can, and still fall short because you lacked the
expertise and insight on how to be more effective and efficient. Join
Ragnarok, come to the Team Trainings, see what you did not know you
lacked, and learn how to be more than you are now. Otherwise, we'll
save you a beer at the finish line . . . but it might be warm by the time
you get there.

19. “Good. Bad. I am the guy with the gun.
Now, come get some.
“Anybody got some spare lube?
. . . My saw is kicking to the left.
•
If you need to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, there is no better man to
do it then Ash Williams. This guy has decimated every bit of Evil Dead
the world has to offer. He has killed armies of past, present, and future
Deadites; he has killed friends, family, and girlfriends who have turned
evil; he has killed his evil self...he has even killed his evil hand.
Wielding a chainsaw and a boomstick, this guy is the very best that SMart has to offer.
•
The race was like a G-rated movie compared to what Ash is used to.
Smiling the entire time, he was seen skipping merrily through the
Race-Course as he lopped off limbs and coated the scenery in black
blood. Laughing hysterically he arrived at the finish line well before
every other racer except one, who was now enjoying the show.
•
You may be hard as a rock, tough as nails, and ready to sacrifice loved
ones and body parts for the greater good. But if you do not practice
specifically for the Evil that is to come, the best you can expect to be is
a second-place remake of the original Badass. The Practice Mudders
are the key to it all. Master them, or be consumed by an Army of
Darkness.

21. “Do not try my patients as
I contain the wrath of the heavens
. . . and am quick to anger.
“This be no race,
Tis merely a game of Whack-A-Mole.
•
The one responsible for heralding Ragnarok. The one responsible for defeating
the MidGard Serpent. Zombies rising from the grave and overtaking the world is
just something to occupy the time between lunch and dinner for Thor Odinson.
With the power of a god his might is Thunder, and his fury Lightning. He is heir
to the Eternal Throne, and protector of this realm. Hope of survival springs from
his being.
•
Seeing the race as more of a civic duty than a sport, Thor took to splattering
Zombies like it was his job. The bags of decaying flesh became mere pinatas;
exploding when hit and raining their innards down upon spectators like rotten
bits of candy. By the time he reached the finish line, 10 seconds had passed, and
all that had uprooted themselves from the grave were returned to it as fertilizer.
•
The only way you will have the might of Thor is to be worthy of The Hammer.
And the only way to be worthy of The Hammer is to race with Ragnarok. Prepare
yourself by conquering the Individual Trainings, Team Trainings, and Practice
Mudders. And when you have finished, and when you are ready . . . a Zombie
Apocalypse will be a refreshing break from the Ragnarok you are used to.