The document introduces the Nurtured Heart Approach, which focuses on positively reinforcing good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior. It discusses key principles like relentlessly energizing positive behavior through active, experiential, and proactive recognition using "Kodak moments", "Polaroid moments", and "Canon moments". Another principle is providing absolute clarity around rules through no warnings and clear consequences like "time-in" instead of "time-out". The document aims to give an overview of the Nurtured Heart Approach's guiding philosophy and strategies.
7. A Day in the life Julio
Twenty one volunteers:
Reds on the left, in order
from 1 to 10. And
Greens on the right from
1 to 10. With "Julio" on
the far left at 1.
10/6
11. Life as a Video Game
• Perfect Structure
• Rules are clear
• Player knows what to do to
score!
• No energy given to negative
behavior
• Player becomes expert at
NOT breaking the rules
• The Game is ALWAYS in
the NOW
5/10
23. For more information:
Neils Wright
Education
Specialist, NHA
Certified Trainer
nwright@bcoe.org
Jeff Bisaga, PhD
Mental Health
Clinician II, NHA
Certified Trainer
jbisaga@bcoe.org
Hinweis der Redaktion
Jessica is very intense. Turn to your neighbor, share one or two things that you are intense about... What are you passionate about... A few shares aloud... Please raise your hand if you would like your intensity taken away? NHA is about using it in healthy, positive ways.
What you see and what quality of greatness that shows. When Charlie is not interrupting, I say, “I see you are waiting, that shows me that you are patient. Describe what you see and label the quality that you are appreciating. I see you are taking out the trash, that shows be how responsible you are. I see you are smiling that you are joyful!
Absolute Clarity. This recognition is about recognizing the child for the rules they are not breaking. Remember in the video game way of thinking Children become experts at NOT breaking the rules. The way they know they are being successful is by us telling them when they are doing it right. Corbin, I see you are following our rule, No touching Grandpa’s train. That shows me how respectful you are! He is following the rule and we are absolutely going to energize that! Michael I saw you put you backpack on the hook, thank you for following the rule “No leaving stuff out” That shows you are responsible for your things! Brian, I see you didn’t hit your sister. Even though you are upset, you are showing powerful self control! Our Kids are more receptive to learning the qualities and values, we want for them, when they are doing them.
This recognition technique is about “Shamu” ing the child. This is about creating a sucessful situation and energizing them all the while.
The request must be fail proof. I am in the car, my kid who back talks, he always says “No” I watch for him to shut the car door. As I see it closing I say, “I need you to shut the door” then I hear it click, I immediately say, “thank you, I appreciate how quickly you followed my direction. You are helping us get there on time!”
Please notice that my request is not a question, I am intentionally not saying please. We do not want wiggle room in our directions. If they have a choice fine then it is a question not a direction. The word Please implies an opportunity to say ,”no” They are already good at that.
We want them to put their intensity into healthy appropriate ways. See that Suzie is walking to the fridge with milk in hand, “Suzie I need you to put the milk away, Oh I see you are doing it, Thank you, I thank you. You are being very responsible. This is like a panoramic picture in that you see the whole picture of success from start to finish!
Remember, We are the toaster, the only time we give them our energy, and our wonderful features, are available to them is when they are having positive behavior.