2. What is Self Esteem?
Self esteem is:
• The way an individual sees
themselves and their worth.
• Partly formed by an individual’s own
perspective and expectations
• Partly formed by the perspectives and
expectations of significant people in a
person’s life.
3. Children with high self esteem tend to:
• Enjoy interacting with others
• Be comfortable in social settings
• Enjoy group and independent activities
• Work towards finding a solution to
challenges without giving up quickly
• Know their strengths and weaknesses, and
accept them
4. Low self esteem can lead to:
• Poor academic performance
• Having a hard time making or keeping
friends
• Being less able to learn and focus
• Being vulnerable to peer pressure
• Avoiding challenges
5. COMPONENTS OF SELF ESTEEM
There are 5 components of Self Esteem
Sense of security
Sense of identity
Sense of belonging
Sense of purpose
Sense of personal competence
6. 1. Sense of security
Children who feel secure
are
Children who lack feelings
of security are
Responsible
Respectful of authority
Self-disciplined
Trusting of adults
Willing to risk failure
Reliable
Free from anxiety
Confident
Nervous
Excessively shy and fearful
Distrusting
Defiant and disrespectful
Stressed
Reluctant to take risks
Indecisive
7. 2. Sense of identity
Children having positive
sense of identity are
Children lacking positive sense
of identity are
Aware of personal
worth and show self
acceptance
Self controlled
Emotionally stable and
express emotions in a
healthy way
Caring & empathetic
Respectful and tolerant
of others
Anxious to please others
Attention seekers
Critical of others
Hypersensitive
Likely to throw tantrums or
even engage in anti-social
behaviour (lying, cheating, stealing)
Not likely to take pride in
work they do and spend little
effort to succeed
8. 3. Sense of belonging
Children with strong sense
of belonging
Children lacking feelings of
belonging
Have good listening skills
Show good social skills
Feel valued by others
Resist peer pressure
Enjoy sharing with others
Contribute to welfare of
others
Demonstrate leadership
skills and are good team
players
Feel rejected or isolated
Are easily misled and find
it hard to say “no”
Lack patience with others
Need to be first all the
time
Hate to share with others
Bully or tease others
Brag or boast
Show cruelty towards
animals
9. 4. Sense of purpose
Children having a strong
sense of purpose
Children lacking a
sense of purpose
Show intellectual curiosity
Show integrity and ethical
behaviour
Are self motivated
Have clarity of purpose
and vision for their future
Show passion for the work
they do
Have an ability to take
risks
Lack motivation
Have few real interests
Are disorganized and
often waste time
Show truant
behaviour
Seek thrills;
experiment with drugs
or alcohol
10. 5. Sense of personal competence
Children with personal
competence
Children who lack feelings
of competence
Take personal accountability
Have self-assessment skills
Show resilience and
perseverance
Have good decision making
skills
Are independent
Maintain a positive outlook
Feel empowered
Make poor decisions
Blame others for their
failures
Feel overwhelmed and get
easily discouraged
Believe they are either lucky
or unlucky
Lack judgment and depend
on others for direction
Often fail to complete
projects
11. 1. Provide a safe environment for your children to learn, grow,
and tackle appropriate challenges and risks.
2. Encourage exercise to maintain healthy body image.
3. Encourage the joining of clubs, teams. or organizations to
enhance a sense of community and belonging.
4. Let them know that it is OK to experience failure or loss.
5. Give them jobs to do and chores to complete to ensure
responsibility, pride in achievements. and a feeling of
independence.
6. Help them learn how to set and achieve goals.
7. Encourage them to volunteer, help other people, and share
their talents.
8. Parents can continue to give love, attention, and affection even
when you think they don’t want it.
9. Allow them to sort out and resolve conflicts themselves.
10.Be a good role model.
Tips for parents to build their child’s self esteem
12. 1) Be available to children.
2) Listen without making judgements.
3) Share yourself with them
4) Emphasize similarities.
5) Be real and don’t pretend.
6) Be careful with your negative feelings.
7) Don’t embarrass children.
8) Be aware you are a model
To keep in mind always
13. •When parents do everything for their children, that
inadvertently teaches children that they are not capable of
doing things for themselves.
•When parents rescue their children too often, children never
learn how to face life’s bumps.
•When parents praise their children for every minor
achievement, children stop believing in their praise altogether.
•When parents are constantly telling their kids how to do
things better, they never get to celebrate what they already do
well.
•When parents force their kids to stay in activities that they
don’t want to be in, it has the potential to hurt their self-
confidence.
When parents constantly criticise their children for
every small mistakes, there self esteem is effected.
Behaviour of parents that actually hurts developing self-esteem
Research on self Esteem shows that when a person’s perceived self is close to their ideal self, they have higher self esteem.
Perceived self is how a person sees themselves.
Ideal self is how a person would like to be, or the best version of themselves
“So if i think i am far from the best version of myself, i don’t feel great about myself and i have low self esteem or unhealthy self esteem. If i think i am close the best version of myself, i feel much better and have higher self esteem.
Sense of security
To develop feelings of security, children must be treated with respect. Have clear rules and expectations that are consistently enforced, and believe they have the personal power to have some control over their own lives. They also need to learn to take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences that might result.
The sense of identity is important because children behave in ways that are consistent with how they see themselves. Those who have positive feelings about themselves tend to relate to others in positive ways. On the other hand, those who feel inadequate or who have negative self-images are apt to relate to others in more negative ways.
We all have the need to belong, to feel accepted and supported by others. We need to feel that we are a part of a group of peers or an organization that is larger than we are. This need is first met by being part of a family that cares. To achieve this need, children must learn social skills necessary to work cooperatively and in harmony with others, how to be a friend and how to support others.
Is to feel that the work we do and the life we lead has meaning and significance. We have called this a sense of purpose it comes about when children see the relevance of what they are doing and when their efforts are directed to what is significant to them. It helps when they develop a vision of what they want to achieve or what kind of person they wish to become. It also involves developing a set of values or standards to live by.
Feeling that one is competent to cope with the challenges of life is termed as the sense of personal competence. It requires a sense of independence and multiple experiences over time as well as the skills, knowledge, and attitudes necessary to be successful.
when we agree to be available to a child try to remember to present oneself in such a way that the child knows we choose to be available specifically to him / her for that period of time. Children’s self-esteem grows when they know you care enough to be with them.
children who want to talk about what they are doing and how they are feeling, stay present to them without offering advice. Be simply a good listener without judging them. Listening heals broken self-esteem; a healthy relationship develops between children and adults who listen.
mutual – children’s self-esteem grows when they know you value them enough to share some part of yourself with them.
children’s self-esteem grows when they feel a sense of oneness with other people they like and admire.
be open and be yourself as much as possible. You don’t have to pretend you know more than you do. If children feel you are real, then perhaps they can let some of the real them show.
Don’t Embarrass children - embarrassment can be very destructive for a child’s budding self-esteem.
children often need a Role model fowhen they feel they can be helpful to your responding to experiences, and they may look to you to show the way. Be sure to give them feedback when they do help you.
when we agree to be available to a child try to remember to present oneself in such a way that the child knows we choose to be available specifically to him / her for that period of time. Children’s self-esteem grows when they know you care enough to be with them.
children who want to talk about what they are doing and how they are feeling, stay present to them without offering advice. Be simply a good listener without judging them. Listening heals broken self-esteem; a healthy relationship develops between children and adults who listen.
mutual – children’s self-esteem grows when they know you value them enough to share some part of yourself with them.
children’s self-esteem grows when they feel a sense of oneness with other people they like and admire.
be open and be yourself as much as possible. You don’t have to pretend you know more than you do. If children feel you are real, then perhaps they can let some of the real them show.
Don’t Embarrass children - embarrassment can be very destructive for a child’s budding self-esteem.
children often need a Role model fowhen they feel they can be helpful to your responding to experiences, and they may look to you to show the way. Be sure to give them feedback when they do help you.