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Positive Parenting
           0 – 7 years
Health Commission of Australia
has found in 2004:


• 56 children under 4 on anti‐depressants
• 728 children aged between 5‐9 on anti‐
  depressants
• 4,689 aged between 10‐14 on anti‐
  depressants
• Nationally prescriptions for people under
  19 topped more than 250,000
Some Facts for Kids
• 3 % of all 3 year olds have severe tantrums

• 10 % of all parents of children 2‐5 years ask for help
  with behavior problems

• Anti‐social behavior accounts for 30‐40% of referrals
  to child mental health services
What has disappeared?


•   Gentle touch and games
•   Fairy tales
•   Being “present” not just in the room
•   Playing real hands on games
•   Games in the car
•   Human conversation with real people
•   Simple toys that don’t cost money
•   Less parent direction
Terrifying Truth

• I am the decisive element in the life
 of a child.
• I create so many souls like me.
• I have tremendous power to make a child’s
  life joyous or miserable.
• I can be an agent of change.
• Pakistan can become a better or worse place
  because of me.
• My Mission Correlates with that of the
          PROPHETS.
What tends to be your goals or
desires in parenting?
• Goals: _____________________
• Desires: ____________________
What are your greatest struggles
in parenting?!
Answers:
• ___________________________
• ___________________________
‫َٓـَ ّ َ ّ ِ َ َ َ ُ ْ‬
 ‫يأيہا ٱلذين ءامنوا‬      ‫ٰ‬
         ‫قا َ ُ َ ُ‬
     ‫ٓ و أنفسكمۡ‬    ‫ُْ‬
   ‫وأَهلكيكمۡنارا‬
   ‫6َ ,‪ً َ At-Tahreem‬ا۬‬
             ‫ۡ ُ‬‫ِ‬
How important do you think it is to teach your
   children character building? (Pre‐test)
How do you teach your children character
           building? – Pre‐test
How often do you talk about character?
Social And Emotional
Building Blocks
Longer term consequences
 of not intervening early
     • Poor relationships with others
     • Low resilience
     • Poor qualifications and work
       history
     • Low frustration tolerance
     • Easily upset and see “threat”
       everywhere
     • Greater involvement in antisocial
       behaviour and drug misuse
     • Families who feel let down, upset,
       angry or powerless.
10 Characteristics of Great Parents

         1.    Mindful parent (vision for their children)
         2.    Authoritative parenting style
         3.    Understand child temperament
         4.    Involved in child’s life
         5.    Think Win‐Win with their children (rules)
         6.    Co‐parent well
         7.    Consistent
         8.    Avoid harsh discipline
         9.    Explain decisions
         10.   Respect
Traits of Authoritative Parents

           •   Clear limits and boundaries
           •   Be firm but flexible
           •   Good communication
           •   Do many fun things together
           •   Let child be an individual
Principles of Discipline

          •   Have a few clear rules
          •   Speak simply
          •   Be “blasé”
          •   Be the boss
          •   Be warmly involved
          •   Give only one warning
          •   Don’t get into power struggles
          •   Set expectations and outcomes prior to
              events/challenges
Positive Parenting

     • Parent with a plan

     • Parent in freedom, not fear

     • Parent with affection, but not softness

     • Parent with authority, but not coercion

     • Parent by being an awesome person
There is a mass of
research to
demonstrate that the
more touch a child gets
in childhood, the calmer
and less fearful he is
likely to be in
adulthood....
Link child to Allah Ta’ala
‫وإِذۡقال لقمـن لبٱبۡه ۦ وهو يعظهۥ ۥ يـبنى ل‬
   َ ّ َ ُ ٰ َ ُ ُ ِ َ َ ُ َ ِ ِ‫َ َ َ ُ ۡ َ ٰ ُ ِ ن‬
۬‫تشركۡببٱللهّنِإ ۖن ٱلشِّرك لظلم عظكيما‬
    ٌ ِ َ ٌُۡ َ َ ۡ          ّ ِ‫ُ ۡ ِ ِ ّ ِ‌ إ‬
       Raise according to Quran and Sunnah
       Be right role model
       Provide Islamic environment
       Paint right picture of Allah Ta’ala
       Stories of Rasulillah (SAW) and Sahabah
       Ultimate Authority is Allah Ta’ala
Early Childhood
Medical         Behavior     Discipline         Tarbiya   Specific
                                                          Issues
Eating habits   Sibling      Rule setting                 Choosing
                Rivalry                                   schools
Illness         Developing   Reasoning                    Fears
                Skills
Preventative    Reading      Positive strokes
Measures


                Writing      Communication

                Simple
                Chores
Activity


• In groups of three or four prepare a case study
  or story that you faced and now fit it with the
  parenting style.
Bachey Jannat key
     phool!

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Positive parenting

  • 1.
  • 2. Positive Parenting 0 – 7 years
  • 3.
  • 4. Health Commission of Australia has found in 2004: • 56 children under 4 on anti‐depressants • 728 children aged between 5‐9 on anti‐ depressants • 4,689 aged between 10‐14 on anti‐ depressants • Nationally prescriptions for people under 19 topped more than 250,000
  • 5. Some Facts for Kids • 3 % of all 3 year olds have severe tantrums • 10 % of all parents of children 2‐5 years ask for help with behavior problems • Anti‐social behavior accounts for 30‐40% of referrals to child mental health services
  • 6. What has disappeared? • Gentle touch and games • Fairy tales • Being “present” not just in the room • Playing real hands on games • Games in the car • Human conversation with real people • Simple toys that don’t cost money • Less parent direction
  • 7. Terrifying Truth • I am the decisive element in the life of a child. • I create so many souls like me. • I have tremendous power to make a child’s life joyous or miserable. • I can be an agent of change. • Pakistan can become a better or worse place because of me. • My Mission Correlates with that of the PROPHETS.
  • 8. What tends to be your goals or desires in parenting? • Goals: _____________________ • Desires: ____________________
  • 9. What are your greatest struggles in parenting?! Answers: • ___________________________ • ___________________________
  • 10. ‫َٓـَ ّ َ ّ ِ َ َ َ ُ ْ‬ ‫يأيہا ٱلذين ءامنوا‬ ‫ٰ‬ ‫قا َ ُ َ ُ‬ ‫ٓ و أنفسكمۡ‬ ‫ُْ‬ ‫وأَهلكيكمۡنارا‬ ‫6َ ,‪ً َ At-Tahreem‬ا۬‬ ‫ۡ ُ‬‫ِ‬
  • 11. How important do you think it is to teach your children character building? (Pre‐test)
  • 12. How do you teach your children character building? – Pre‐test
  • 13. How often do you talk about character?
  • 15. Longer term consequences of not intervening early • Poor relationships with others • Low resilience • Poor qualifications and work history • Low frustration tolerance • Easily upset and see “threat” everywhere • Greater involvement in antisocial behaviour and drug misuse • Families who feel let down, upset, angry or powerless.
  • 16. 10 Characteristics of Great Parents 1. Mindful parent (vision for their children) 2. Authoritative parenting style 3. Understand child temperament 4. Involved in child’s life 5. Think Win‐Win with their children (rules) 6. Co‐parent well 7. Consistent 8. Avoid harsh discipline 9. Explain decisions 10. Respect
  • 17. Traits of Authoritative Parents • Clear limits and boundaries • Be firm but flexible • Good communication • Do many fun things together • Let child be an individual
  • 18. Principles of Discipline • Have a few clear rules • Speak simply • Be “blasé” • Be the boss • Be warmly involved • Give only one warning • Don’t get into power struggles • Set expectations and outcomes prior to events/challenges
  • 19. Positive Parenting • Parent with a plan • Parent in freedom, not fear • Parent with affection, but not softness • Parent with authority, but not coercion • Parent by being an awesome person
  • 20. There is a mass of research to demonstrate that the more touch a child gets in childhood, the calmer and less fearful he is likely to be in adulthood....
  • 21. Link child to Allah Ta’ala ‫وإِذۡقال لقمـن لبٱبۡه ۦ وهو يعظهۥ ۥ يـبنى ل‬ َ ّ َ ُ ٰ َ ُ ُ ِ َ َ ُ َ ِ ِ‫َ َ َ ُ ۡ َ ٰ ُ ِ ن‬ ۬‫تشركۡببٱللهّنِإ ۖن ٱلشِّرك لظلم عظكيما‬ ٌ ِ َ ٌُۡ َ َ ۡ ّ ِ‫ُ ۡ ِ ِ ّ ِ‌ إ‬ Raise according to Quran and Sunnah Be right role model Provide Islamic environment Paint right picture of Allah Ta’ala Stories of Rasulillah (SAW) and Sahabah Ultimate Authority is Allah Ta’ala
  • 22. Early Childhood Medical Behavior Discipline Tarbiya Specific Issues Eating habits Sibling Rule setting Choosing Rivalry schools Illness Developing Reasoning Fears Skills Preventative Reading Positive strokes Measures Writing Communication Simple Chores
  • 23. Activity • In groups of three or four prepare a case study or story that you faced and now fit it with the parenting style.