Oh you know... Just a random story I made up for finding a Cocoa Beach dentist. It's full of non sense but an entertaining read nonetheless. http://cocoadentist.net
1. Right now is a good time
of year to find a dentist
in Cocoa, FL.
Not just because it's
sunny and beautiful out
but because of the
moon. A lot of people
don't realize that the
moon has a very large
impact on the things we
do. And particularly the
moon affects the dentists
in the area.
http://cocoadentist.net
2. Did you know that the moon actually affects the
tides on this planet? Without the moon, we
would have no tides. The oceans would be
stagnant. All of the water on earth would be
stinky and full of green gunk. Swamp people
everywhere.
3. Now there is a lot of research that suggests that
the moon has no effect on us. Many studies over
several years show that there is no difference in
how many emergency visits there are during a
full moon. The same goes for pet injuries, and
crimes committed by people and how often
doctors mess up surgeries.
http://cocoadentist.net
4. I’m here to contest all of this false data. It has
been falsified by the Moon Group of America.
They have a secret agenda to create disinterest
in the moon. In the end they are going to steal
the moon with a space ship by tying a rope
around it.
5. The real secret is that there is cheese is the
center of the moon. Very expensive French
cheese. That’s why they want to hide the moon
from us and take away our interest from it.
http://cocoadentist.net
6. But that’s beside the point. The real purpose of
the article is to help you find a dentist in Cocoa,
FL. The truth is that Cocoa Beach dentists are
radically affected by the moon. Their offices all
shift to the West side of the city when there is a
full moon. And they all shift to the East side of
the city when there is a waxing or waning moon.
7. So you should plan your trip with the tactical
strategies of a fox. You must not expend more
than 2.2 gallons of gasoline or else Zeus will be
upset with you.
http://cocoadentist.net
8. Visit the right Cocoa Beach dentist and get your
service completed for you. What tends to
happen is their dental tools are magnetized by
ion magnets.
These materials are attracted to the moon’s
gravitational forces combined with the poles of
the earth.
9. When this happens, the tools can scrap extra
hard into your teeth. It’s no surprise that the
aforementioned gravitational effects also control
the Cocoa Beach dentist’s hands and arms. So
when these tools are scraping extra hard, the
dentist in the meanwhile is actually transcribing
secret alien algorithms into your teeth.
http://cocoadentist.net
10. These algorithms are then called by Google, a
multi-billion dollar company. Therefore your
teeth are actually contributing to Google’s
wealth, which is already massive.
11. Your teeth are doing the devil’s work.
http://cocoadentist.net
12. But it’s ok. There is a way to get yourself out of
it. I would never write this article about the
problem without offering a solution. That’s just
not how I operate.
I’m a good guy, you know… I like helping people
and stuff.
13. One of the
options is to
visit a Cocoa
Beach dentist
and get all of
your teeth
pulled. But this
is only good for
you if you are
older than 50
years old. http://cocoadentist.net
14. If you are younger than 50 years old, or you are
64 years old, then you can visit the alien ship
and request that you be removed from Google’s
population algorithm research list. You can visit
any time as long as it’s between 8 am to 6 pm,
Wednesday through Friday.
15. Make sure to bring a strong weapon with you in
case the aliens get hostile. This happens
sometimes. Don’t expect everything to go
smoothly and be boring like at the DMV. You
might get killed so it’s quite the opposite of
what it’s like being at the DMV.
16. Bring a sharp katana to chop off their sexual
organs. This is the only way to kill them. Good
luck.
http://cocoadentist.net
