1. GIN ATTEMPTS SLIDESHARE WHICH IS PROBABLY A REALLY BAD IDEA.

2. “..but so freakily good! There was a loser dork BoHo freak and some sparky boxes and the twit set the whole thing on fire and then BOOM a crater – an Evil crater might I add, and the whole thing was dead forever!” “Evil Susan..” Norris sighed. “It’s wonderful to have you back kiddo, I was asking about your family plans - not your calamity scams.”

3. (I don’t usually write this much, hmm.) “Well what good is that?” the werewolf’s daughter retorted. “I think we’ve all had it up to here with babies and awfully boring things like that to be honest, Dad! Fed up of it. Bored. How the heck are you supposed to have Evil adventures bogged down with all that?” Yet more sighing on the werewolf’s part. He’d expected Evil Susan to be, well, Evil Susan – but not quite with this level of baby grr. “We don’t want you to get lonely though,” he tried, “and I’m sure your Grandfather would love another wedding to go to.” “He went to Ysabelle’s crappy white palooza, like you all did. But did you see me there? NO. I’m Evil! There’s no time for things like marriage and babies, there’s only time for EVIL and YET MORE EVIL. Now has the company sent me a response yet?”

4. “No, but I daresay it’ll arrive in the morning.” “Eeexcellent.” “Why do you want to join a ballet troupe anyway?” Norris asked. “I can see why Ysabelle would want to, but just this morning she told me she was enjoying life as a Counterfeiter and here you are trying to be Queen of the Tutus! Yet I can’t help feel it should be the other way around, if I’m honest.”

5. “Oh father.. In time you’ll see. You’ll all see.” Evil Susan spent the rest of the night happily cackling to herself and pouring over her many Evil books, eagerly awaiting the morning post. She was up bright and early to jump at the postman, but apparently so was someone else..