This is my powerpoint to English teachers at Alhambra High School

1. Communicating Their Stories:
Strategies to Help Students Write
Powerful College Application and
Scholarship Essays
Alhambra High School
Rebecca Joseph, California State University,
rjoseph@calstatela.edu
www.getmetocollege/org/hs

2. Essays=Opportunity
• Share
• Reflect
• Stand Out

3. What Can Teachers Do?
• Help students realize that essays give them a
chance to:
• Tell a story that is important to them.
• Share their authentic voice.
• Control an aspect of the application process.
• Reinforce other important aspects of their
application.

4. How Important Are Essays?
1.Rigor of high school coursework
2.Grades
3.Test scores
4.*Essays
5.Recommendations
6.Activities and interests
7.Special skills, talents, awards, or legacy
affiliation

5. What DO Admissions Officers Seek?
Context
Values
Commitment/Depth of
Interests
Interaction with and/or
perception by others
Special talents and
qualities
Realistic self-appraisal

6. Impact Initiative
Ultimately they want to know

7. Plan

8. Understand the Prompts

9. Common Application
One Long/ 250-650 words –Paste in.
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their
application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time
when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make
the same decision again.
4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge,
a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale.
Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood
to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
Activities: The Common Application leaves room for 10 activities
Additional Information: The Common Application allows you to add additional
information. Accepts up to 650 words.
Supplemental Essays
They range from one line to 500 words. Some schools have one, while other have three. They
can overlap. If it says optional, view it as mandatory.

10. UC California
• Two essays
• Respond to both prompts, using a maximum of 1,000 words total.
• You may allocate the word count as you wish. If you choose to respond to one
prompt at greater length, we suggest your shorter answer be no less than 250
words.
• Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)-[Outside-In]
• Describe the world you come from – for example, your
family, community or school – and tell us how your world
has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
• Prompt #2 (all applicants) [Inside-Out]
• Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,
contribution or experience that is important to you. What
about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud
and how does it relate to the person you are.

11. EOP
• 2015-2016 Educational Opportunity Program Separate Application
• Required EOP Short Responses Short responses for EOP. Paste in each. Answers to the
following questions will help us determine your motivation and preparation to undertake college
work. Please answer as precisely and honestly as possible. Use complete sentences and avoid
responses such as “yes” or “no.”
• 1. Describe any volunteer extracurricular activities or work experience in which you are or have
been involved in the past two years
• 2. Why would you like to attend college discuss your career and personal goals are there any
particular circumstances school experience or persons that influenced your preparation to attend
college
• 3. Briefly discuss your academic background. Did you utilize any additional support at your high
school such as tutoring do your grades on high school or college reflect your academic ability or
potential
• 4. Briefly describe your family's economic background include info about financial challenges
• 5. Please tell us more about yourself is there any additional info you would like EOP to consider in
determining your admission to program

12. The Different Pieces of the Package

13. The Other Side

14. Prepare
• Prepare a resume
• Find unusual essay prompts
• Read a few essays from other students
• Read some short tip sheets or articles
• Create a master chart
• Major deadlines and requirements
• Essay questions: core and supplemental
• Look for patterns in the prompts

15. Reflect
• What do I want my college(s) to know about
me?
• What is the story I want to tell?
• How can I communicate what I offer to a
college?
• In what way(s) have I positively affected my
family, community, and/or school?

16. Brainstorm

17. Brainstorm
• “Dear Roommate” Letters
• Culture Bags
• Facebook/Instragram Pictures
• Write a “Where I’m From” poem modeled on
George Lyon’s original
• Write three responses to short essay activities
prompt: “What activity, in or out of school,
have you truly loved, and why?”
• “First Thought” writing exercise (where you
just write and let the thoughts flow)

18. Draft

19. Draft
• Into
• Lead the reader into the story
• Start with a hook
• Consider cutting first paragraph(s) from first draft
• Through
• Use 1/3, 2/3 method
• Focus on leadership and initiative
• Use first person
• Show, don’t tell
• Beyond
• Connect to who you are now and who you want to be
• Evoke core qualities

20. Edit
• Help students show up in the their essays
• Provide guiding questions for drafts
• Allow students to submit revisions until
deadlines
• Show students how to tailor essays for
different college applications
• Provide strategies to use essays for
scholarships as well

21. Layers

22. Final Drafts
• Know When to Stop
• Just Say “No!”
• Students
• Parents
• Educators
• Authentic Voice

23. Embedding Essays Into Curriculum

24. Our Powerpoint
• 1. My powerpoint is on
slideshare.net/getmetocollege.

25. Contact Us
• Dr. Rebecca Joseph: rjoseph@calstatela.edu
rjoseph@calstate la.edu
Getmetocollege.org/hs

26. Ten Day Curriculum
• Objectives:
• To help students prepare an active and powerful resume and under the valuable role of participation, leadership, and initiative in academics, activities, and service
• To help students understand the key values of using their unique stories in their college application process
• To help students identify their core qualities and key stories
• To help students brainstorm potential counter-narrative essay topics that lead to college application and scholarship essays
• To help students push beyond stereotypic message to relay who they really are and what ways they have empowered themselves and their communities.
• To help student write autobiographical narratives to develop real experiences or event using effective techniques, well-chosen details, and well-structured event
sequences.
•
• Common Core Literacy Standards-Grades 11-12:
• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured
event sequences.
– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3a Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation and its significance, establishing one or
multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.
– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3b Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences,
events, and/or characters.
– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3c Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole and build toward
a particular tone and outcome (e.g., a sense of mystery, suspense, growth, or resolution).
– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3d Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events,
setting, and/or characters.
– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3e Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the
narrative.
• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
(Grade-specific expectations for writing types are defined in standards 1–3 above.)
• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on addressing
what is most significant for a specific purpose and audience. (Editing for conventions should demonstrate command of Language standards 1–3 up to and including
grades 11–12 here.)
• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.6 Use technology, including the Internet, to produce, publish, and update individual or shared writing products in response to ongoing
feedback, including new arguments or information

27. Ten Activities For Helping Students Write Powerful Counter Narrative Autobiographical Essays That Lead to Unique College
Application and Scholarships Essays
Rebecca Joseph, PhD
rjoseph@calstatela.edu
facebook: getmetocollege freeadvice
FB page: All College Essays
• Curriculum Mapping
• Activity One—Have students prepare a powerful resume. Show them samples and have them brainstorm using key sections—education, activities,
community service, work, athletics, and more. Encourage them to highly leadership and initiative within each listing. Homework: Type resume up.
(Use sample essays from former students or that we supply).
• Activity Two—Go through the Powerpoint presentation about powerful college application essays. Have them read the samples and identify the core
qualities that each student offered match colleges. Have them share with a partner some emergent ideas for potential essays. Homework: Have
students write three short paragraphs about core activities using into, through, and beyond. Have students bring in culture bag materials (Use Dr.
Joseph’s East Side Stories powerpoint and 10 Tips for Communicating Their Stories Handout and 10 Brainstorming Tips).
• Activity Three—Have students bring in Culture Bag artifacts—examples of ethnicity, gender, religion, passions in school, three activities from resume,
and goals for future. Students share with others and think of unique stories that emerge from their artifacts that may lead to powerful
autobiographic college application essays. Have them look at resumes and identify some core stories. End with free writing assignment—tell one
story that emerged from today’s discussions.
• Activity Four—Story Corps. Have students listen to different examples from NPR’s Story Corps and based on stories from yesterday, draft one that
they would like to submit—written and verbal. Have students submit (See http://storycorps.org/).
• Activity Five—Letter to Future Roommate and Personal Qualities. Have students read letters to future roommates. Have them look at list of key
positive personal traits. Have them draft their Letter to Future Roommates using whatever format suites them (Use Four Sample Letter for Future
Roommate Samples).
• Activity Six—Drafting Day One. Have students look at their artifacts, resumes, list of personality traits, and letters to roommates to identify two core
stories they want to communicate in longer form. Have students read brainstorming tips. Have them draft a strong image filled first paragraph of a
longer essay. Homework: Expand first paragraph into four to five paragraph essays (Use sample first paragraphs from essays you have collected or
that Dr. Joseph can provide).
• Activity Seven.—Drafting Day Two.). Have students workshop essays and write second drafts using handout. Homework: Revise each essay again.
(Ten College Application Essay Questions).
• Activity Eight—Admissions Committee. Have students read four sample college applications and decide who to admit. Have students make
comments on a peer’s essays to make them even stronger. Homework: Think of a third potential essay to now write. Activity Nine--Have students
read some short autobiographical essays—Amy Tan, Mike Rose. See how these authors use effective narrative technique. Encourage student to use
some form of media—video, pictures, recipes, lyrics to one of their pieces (Dr. Joseph has sample packets).
• Activity Nine- Introduce students to some key scholarships or writing competitions and have them begin to tailor their essays to one scholarships.
Homework: Continue workshopping until you and kids have three great pieces.
• Activity Ten-Admissions Readers. Ask current college students and/or college representatives to come and read and give feedback to essays.
Students revise based on comments.

28. Ten Tips For Brainstorming
• Ten Tips for Brainstorming Great Personal Statement Topics By Rebecca Joseph
• Here are some creative ways to help high school seniors get started with writing active, engaging essays that truly
communicate their stories to admissions officers.
• Write your resume. Include everything you can from high school. Categorize your activities, community service,
work, internships, athletics, arts, and more. Include descriptions of your leadership and initiative. Maybe in writing
the resume, you will remember some key event or story that will turn into a great application essay.
• Start first with three short activity paragraphs. In writing them, make them as interesting and exciting as possible.
Start with a story. Keep them to 1000 characters. Maybe one of these can turn into a long. Shorts are easier to
throw away than longs and very useful for the Common Application and supplemental essays. None will ever go to
waste.
• Make a culture bag to help think of your unique stories. Bring in artifacts of your ethnicity, gender, nationality,
school, community, major activities, religion, and goals for future. These may spark a story, quality or way to
connect your experiences to your culture and community.
• Write a list of your most quirky features. I love Stanford and Harvard’s supplemental Letter to Your Future
Roommate. These letters are often so much more interesting than the other essays. Makshya wrote about her
fetish for making lists and provided her list. Every item from her list could turn into a great essay starter. Samples
from her list include: “I have the ability to create and develop different fonts in my handwriting” and “One of my
favorite words is “ubuntu,” which means humanity in Xhosa.” Start with a list of what makes you, you. Make that
will spark an essay topic.
• Look at sample essays posted on actual college websites. Connecticut College
(http://www.conncoll.edu/admission/apply/essays-that-worked/) offers great samples as does Carleton College
(https://apps.carleton.edu/admissions/apply/essay_tips/samples/) Johns Hopkins
(http://apply.jhu.edu/apply/essays.html) even provides admissions officers’ feedback after each sample essay.
Reading these, you can see the huge range of topics. At least, you can see how they all begin with an amazing in
the moment first paragraph. You can do the same.

29. • Read George Lyon’s “Where I’m From” Poem. http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html. Think of where you are
from. Read the poem to get ideas to write your own and start an amazing essay. This may help with the fourth
Common Application prompt.
• Read past and present supplemental essay topics from other colleges. The University of Chicago has great
supplementary essay topics every year. A couple of years ago, one topic was: “It Isn’t Easy Being Green” by Kermit
the Frog. That turned into a great long essay for several kids I know who never applied to U Chicago. This year’s
topics are great as well. Go to https://collegeadmissions.uchicago.edu/apply/essays/ and read the topics. Tufts
also has great prompts athttp://admissions.tufts.edu/apply/essay-questions/. Perhaps one of these topics will
spark an idea.
• Read sample essays from older kids at your school. But don’t copy. Just get ideas. You need to truly match your
writing and style to the level of school. Admissions officers are begging for gripping, non-general stories. Give
them a gift.
• Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond Approach. With your INTO, grab us into the story with a moment in
time. That moment must reveal a core qualify. Then go into two levels of THROUGH. THROUGH 1 provides the
immediate context of the INTO. THROUGH 2 provides the overall context. End with a BEYOND that is not sappy but
powerful. Think of a metaphor that guides you and weave through your story and into your ending.
• Great, great essays can take us through an event and weave in core features. Do not feel confined by any rules
other than to engage and stimulate the admissions officers to see you come to life before them. And yes, you
must grammar edit your essays.
• Don’t be bound by five paragraph essays. Your story will guide the form of the essay. You can use dialogue, quotes,
song lyrics, poetry. Let your story and message guide you.
• Bonus Idea: Read what colleges recommend on their sites. University of California, Berkeley has great advice with
a multi-tiered site: http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/index.htm The University of Michigan
also helps with its tips for writing a great essay: http://www.admissions.umich.edu/drupal/essays/tips

30. Ten Tips To Write Powerful College
Application Essays
Ten Tips for Writing Powerful College Application Essays By Rebecca Joseph
• Tip 1. College essays are fourth in importance behind grades, test scores, and the rigor of
completed coursework in many admissions office decisions (NACAC, 2013). Don’t waste this
powerful opportunity to share your voice and express who you really are to colleges. Great life
stories make you jump off the page and into your match colleges.
• Tip 2. Develop an overall strategic plan. College application essays should work together to help you
communicate key qualities and stories that make you come alive and stand out in front of
admissions readers.
• Tip 3. Keep a chart of all essays required by each college, including supplementary responses and
optional essays. Note: the Common Application changed its essay topics for the 2013-2014
application cycle, so make sure you have the correct prompts. Look for patterns between colleges
essay requirements so that you can find ways to use essays more than once. This holds true for
scholarship essays.
• Tip 4. Read the prompts all the way through. Each prompt may have different questions or probes.
Some answers may be implied, but must be clearly evident to a reader.
• Tip 5. Plan to share positive messages and powerful outcomes. You can start with life or family
challenges. You can describe obstacles or failures you have overcome. But, you must focus on your
growth and development, including leadership, initiative, accomplishments, and service. College
admissions officers do not read minds, so tell them your powerful life stories and demonstrate the
personal qualities you hope to bring to their campuses

31. • Tip 6. Always write in the first person. Remember, these are autobiographical essays, even when
you talk about other people, events, or places. So use the one-third and two-thirds rule. If you
choose to write about someone, some place, or something else, you must show how it or the
person affected you for the majority of the essay. Your essays show why you belong on and will
enrich diverse college communities.
• Tip 7. Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond approach. Lead the reader INTO your story
with a powerful beginning—a story, an experience. Take them THROUGH your story with the
context and keys parts of your story. Make sure the reader understands your continuity,
development, leadership, and initiative. End with the BEYOND message about how this story has
affected who you are now and who you want to be in college and potentially after college. The
beyond can be implied in many pieces that are so strong that moralizing at the end is not necessary.
But make sure to read the prompt and answer all components.
• Tip 8. Use active writing: avoid passive sentences and incorporate power verbs. Show when
possible; tell when summarizing.
• Tip 9. Have trusted inside and impartial outside readers read your essays. Make sure you have no
spelling or grammatical errors. Ultimately submit what pleases you.
• Tip 10. Most importantly, make yourself come alive throughout this process. Write about yourself
as passionately and powerfully as possible. Be proud of your life and accomplishments. Sell
yourself!!!

32. UVA’s Advice
• Tips for Writing the College Essay
• 1. Write about what you know about, what is familiar to you.
• 2. When choosing a topic, ask yourself, what do I want this college to know about
me that they will not see in my transcript or application form?
• 3. Write honestly
• 4. Focus in tightly in your essay
• 5. Show, do not merely tell in your essay
• 6. Use strong verbs and precise nouns
• 7. Be specific using interesting details
• 8. Develop an effective beginning that draws the reader in and a conclusion that
leaves the reader thinking.
• 9. If you write about a person, bring out those characteristics that differentiate
that person from others.
• 10. When you read an essay question typically the first thing that comes to your
mind is what you should write about… now you just have to figure out a creative
way to get your voice across.