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What makes you think
that coaching is the
answer?
10 Reasons why you don’t need coaching
Dr John Kenworthy
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
2 | P a g e
celsim.com
Action Guides are designed to provide you with simple and
straightforward steps to develop in a particular area of your leadership.
© Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved
Published by Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any
form or by any means, or stored in any database or retrieval system
without the prior written permission of Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd.
If you need permission, you’ll have to ask. Ask, because you never
know (we may say yes).
The information in this document is accurate to the best of our
knowledge at the time of writing. As a reader you need to accept full
responsibility for your actions and should consult with a professional
about your own circumstances before following anything in the book.
Results are not guaranteed (Heck, nothing in life is guaranteed).
Further, the author and publisher have used their best efforts to proof
and confirmthe content of the files, but you should proof and confirm
information such as dates, measurements, and any other content for
yourself. The author and publisher make no warranties of any kind,
express or implied, with regard to that content or its accuracy.
For more information, please write to:
Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd
10 Anson Road, #26-04
Singapore 079903
Phone: 65 6659 9887 (If you need to call, check the time in SG before
calling).
E-mail: john.kenworthy@celsim.com
Website: www.celsim.com | Facebook & Twitter: drjohnkenworthy
Published in Singapore (Where else?). Any person flouting the above
rules, will be liable for copyright infringement, plus will be sent (at your
own cost of course) to pick panda dung at the Singapore Zoo.
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 3
Contents
#10 - It's too expensive ...........................................................................................4
Make sure you get a good Return on your Investment ..........................................5
#9 – I’m not senior enough......................................................................................5
Do you actually need a coach then? ......................................................................5
#8 – I’m good enough (aka, I don’t have performance problems)............................6
Are you sure about that?.......................................................................................6
#7 – The company should sponsor your coaching ....................................................7
Can your manager coach you?" .............................................................................7
#6 – My boss is the one who needs coaching ...........................................................8
Or do you need to add value to your boss? ...........................................................8
#5 – I can’t change ..................................................................................................9
If you think you can’t change, you really need to read this... ................................9
#4 - I don’t like to talk about it ..............................................................................10
Perhaps something else would be better for you... ..............................................10
#3 - Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings .......................................................11
And some are about driving your performance... hard.........................................11
#2 - If people know I'm being coached, they'll think I'm weak ...............................12
Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the Madras Crab ......................................12
#1 – I’m too busy ..................................................................................................13
How busy do you need to be before you realise you need to change?..................14
You still here?.........................................................................................................14
Buy your copy of the book and get yourself unstuck now. ......................................15
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
4 | P a g e
OK, so I need to start off apologizing to all the coaches out there who are
desperately trying to persuade you that their coaching is the be all and end all. That
you have to get a coach to enjoy true happiness and achieve success.
I’m sorry, but there really are good reasons that people do not need
coaching.
Here’s the top 10 I hear from clients, in reverse order and coming in at number 10,
but still a biggie:
#10 - It's too expensive
I know, I too was a little shocked that this
wasn't further up the list.
An average coaching engagement costs
around $100-250 an hour, and most
coaches want you to buy at least an hour a
week. A good coach will cost you $400-
900 and up per hour, and the guru
coaches, a lot more. A coach for a senior
leader in an organizationwill charge
upwards of $15,000a year for their
services, and that's probably by telephone.
So, coaching, even a 'cheap' coach, can
become expensive.
In fact, if the hourly rate is really low (I know of some coaches who charge less than $50
an hour), you want to be even more careful.
Hiring a decent coach, with qualifications (important but not always essential) and
experience (vital) will cost money and a fair amount at that. Takingon a coach often
means that you will need to cut back in other areas of your expenditure. Perhaps that's
delaying the purchase of a new car. Or taking your vacation a little closer to home this
year. Not buying a couple of new outfits. Takinga sandwichfrom home each day instead
of buying one of those delicious lunch baguettes at your favourite coffee shop. And who
wants to do that?
How will you know that you are getting good value?
Splurging on yourself is a hard-earned reward,and you shouldn't be compromising your
lifestyle to enjoy a better future. Live now, pay later is a motto to live by. But the
Good coaching is expensive. Make
sure you get a Return on your
Investment
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 5
money isn't everything. And even when you are prepared to spend your hard-earned
money on getting a coach, there's the simple question about your current position. And,
if I can be so bold. If you don't invest your hard-earned money in your development,
there's a very high chance that you won't follow through.
Make sure you get a good Return on your Investment
 Coaching is expensive, so make sure that you get a good Return on your
Investment.
 And you want a Guarantee for your coaching.
 You want value for money.
So how do you work out your return, your value gained for the money you shell out? You
need useful Metrics for your coaching. Readthis Chapter on "How to ensure your
Coaching ROI".
#9 – I’m not senior enough
Business and personal coaching is for more senior people. Leaders in business, you
know, the one’s who have “leader” in their job title..
In many organizations, coachingis reserved for the senior leadership or the so-called
“high potentials”.
So, you should be getting your company assigned coach to help you learn how to lead,
once you get promoted to a senior leadership role. There is the minor detail that it’s a
little late to prepare to be a leader when you've been promoted, but you’ll muddle
through. And yes, they should recognize that coaching for you would be greatly beneficial
for the company… but they haven’t recognizedthat yet.
Do you actually need a coach then?
Many organisations consider coachingto be reserved for the upper echelons. And sadly,
few have a proper coaching or mentoring culture to support you and your development.
Many organisations consider coachingto be reserved for the upper echelons. And sadly,
few have a proper coaching or mentoring culture to support you and your development.
So would coaching actually be the best option for you? Read this chapter from my book
and see if this is your best course of action now.
And if not coaching,perhaps some other form of development. But what's the difference?
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
6 | P a g e
Read this chapter and find out if something other than coachingmight be better for you.
On the other hand, if it’s not that coaching is for the good people, rather for those
that are weak… there’s the #8 reason…
#8 – I’m good enough (aka, I don’t
have performance problems)
Coaching in many organizations is for people who have
problems. A coach is often called in to help ‘fix’ the person in
some way.
And if you don’t have problems, why on earth would you
need a coach?
You've been doing your job for years and get things done.
Your boss has no complaints. Your performance review is
glowing. In fact,you are one of the better managers in the
company.
Are you sure about that?
Change is the only constant. And what got you where you are today, won’t get you where
you want to go tomorrow.
Competition is fierce, and there is no such thing as a 'permanent' job.
Read this chapter and find out if you are motivated to change.
But if you should be considering coaching, shouldn't your company be paying for it?
Coaching is often
best to help good
people become
better
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 7
#7 – The Company should sponsor your coaching
Why should you be paying from your own pocket when all the benefit of your increased
performance, goes to the company?
It would be nice if your boss showed you their genuine appreciation for your efforts, and
if coaching is right for you, then one way they could show this is to sponsor your
coaching.
Absolutely. But then, perhaps you’re not “senior enough”, or not one of the identified
“high potentials”. Or perhaps your company doesn't think coachingis beneficialto their
bottom line.
It is probably right that your company should pay for your coaching. But they get a little
scared that once coached, you’ll get poachedby the competitor and hence, waste all that
development expense.
Incidentally, I charge a lot more for coaching when the company is paying. Why?
Because when you don’t personally invest in it, there’s a much higher chance you won’t
follow through as enthusiastically.That means more chasingand more of my time spent
to keep you progressing. Plus, the company usually expects me to come to your office…
more time… more expense.
Can your manager coach you?"
Your organisation may not have a formal coachingor mentoring programme in place.
And your manager may, or may not, be able to coach you. It is helpful for you to
understand the difference between being a coach andbeing a manager.
Read this chapter and discuss the possibilities with your own manager.
Perhaps then it’s your boss who really needs the coaching…
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
8 | P a g e
#6 – My boss is the one who needs coaching
You know that you could do a much better job than your boss. As a leader, they are pretty
ineffective and really do need coaching.
The thing is, it’s not actually your job to “fix” your leader. I mean, how many times have
you tried already? Frustrating yes?
So, don’t try to “fix” your leader. Your job is to add value to them. Take some of their
burdens, add to their strengths and after a while, they’ll allowyou to compensate for
their weaknesses.
Or do you need to add value to your boss?
I hear this a lot. Almost every workshop I run and many of my prospective clients quickly
tell me "my boss should be doing this".
It's probably true.
Two things you can do then:
1. Share this action guide and special report with them and let them decide for
themselves.
2. Read this chapter on building rapport - it's written to help you build rapport with
your coach, but it works on building rapport with anyone.
If the leader won’t change. Change your attitude or your work address. But perhaps
you can’t…
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 9
#5 – I can’t change
You know that something has to change but you
tried, and you just can’t change in the way you
are “supposed” to. It’s just how you are wired.
Had your parents sent you to a better school, you
would have had the same breaks and chance as
the others.
And climbing the ladder of success would be easy
of you had the talent, but it’s too late for that.
If you believe that you are hard-wired, and
things really cannot change, you could do with
an understanding of neuro-genesis and neuro-
plasticity. You might even be surprised by
yourself.
If you think you can’t change, you really need to read this...
You can change. In fact,you change daily. You might not want to. But you do.
It's possible that you have been misled that your personality and abilities are fixed.
Read this chapter and adopt a Growth Mindset.
But it’s OK, I fully understand and maybe other people will look at you with disdain
if you try… and fail…
If you don't work out how to do it.
Someone else will work out your
future for you.
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
10 | P a g e
#4 - I don’t like to talk about it
I’ve always been somewhat shy (I know it shocks people, but I am… inside). Being shy,
and a little withdrawn as a kid I hated talking aboutsome real problems with my parents
or teachers or anyone.
I was always a little concerned about what they would think about me if I told them what
was really going on… inside of me.
Maybe it’s just me, but there are times when I find it very difficult to talk aboutwhat’s
going on in my head. It feels as though I’m opening myself up to criticism. And God
forbid that they discover that I’m not perfect.
So yes, talking about some things is tough. But when your coach cares about you, they
don’t judge.
But surely coaching will dig into those psychological issues you secretly suspect may be
lurking deep down inside? At times, my clients have felt like I was the Doc in a white coat
probing into their minds. On occasion, it’s a little like being on the therapist's couch. It
can be uncomfortable to open up. Yet you know that when you do, there’s a flood of
relief.
Perhaps something else would be better for you...
I understand.
Talking about some things is difficult. Especially with a stranger.
But perhaps you should better understand the role of a coach and the roles of others who
could be helping you.
Oh, and by the way. All those crazy thoughts and feelings you’re concerned about. We all
have them. Just thought that you should know.
Which brings us neatly to number 3.
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 11
#3 - Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings
If you're still considering coaching at this point, you know some of the discussions you
have will be about feelings. Especially those "life coaches". I mean, what's life got to do
with work? Work is business. It's not personal. Coaching should focus only on improving
performance at work. First-up.Feelings are the tangible experiences you have in your
body that are the result of neuro-chemicals being produced in your brain, which are
triggered by your thinking. By discussing feelings, a good coach (at least one that
understands how the human brain works) can track back to your thinking. Change your
thinking, and you change feelings. Second. Your entire life matters. Consider, for
example, how you perform at work when you haven't eaten. Do you get grouchy and snap
at people? Or when your partner and you had an argument. What do you spend your day
thinking about whilst you are at work? Or you get to a certain age and find that there's
something missing in your life? You're not sure what, but there's something not there.
And some are about driving your performance... hard
It's true that a lot of coaches these days are a little "fluffy".
There are people who thing that "The Secret" is the answer to everything (It's not, by the
way!)
Many "Life-coaches" fall into the category of being a little "fluffy".
So choose the sort of coach who you want to work with.
There's a great little Style Indicator Assessment you can use here to help you know which
is best for you.
Talking about feelings doesn't have to be sentimental. And guys, it's not a
weakness... it's a strength to be able to talk about feelings.
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
12 | P a g e
#2 - If people know I'm being coached, they'll think
I'm weak
My Uncle Alan was a stern ex-army Captain. A disciplinarian and no-holds-barred type
of man. He loved me deeply and gave me some of the best advice ever and set me free.
He told me "Most people don't care about what you're gettingup to, what you're
thinking". "You know why?" he asked me. I shook my dumb young head. "Because whilst
you're thinking about what they are thinking about you. They are spending their entire
time thinking about what you are thinking aboutthem." Yeah. You might need to re-read
that a few times. Uncle Alan continued "But the people who do care about you. The
people who love you. Well, they do care what's going on inside. Not to judge but to help if
they can." So, for those people that per-chance do care about you sufficiently to think
about you at all, they won't be thinking that you're weak. They'll be admiring you for
being braver than them. But then, if your boss sponsors your coaching, won'tthat
suggest that your boss thinks you're weak? It might. But then it also might suggest that
your boss thinks that you're great and could be even better. And finally, to the number
one reason you do not need coaching... time.Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the
Madras Crab."
Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the Madras Crab
In part, you're wrong.
Very very few people are thinking about you. Exceptto be thinking about what you think
about them.
However, there are people whose mission in life seems to be to pull others down. To stop
you, by fear and other tactics, to prevent you from "over-reaching". And God forbid that
you do better than them.
Best advice is to ignore them.
But read this chapter on "Tall Poppy Syndrome".
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 13
#1 – I’m too busy
You already have too many demands on your
time. And good coaching requires you to spend
more time than just the weekly or monthly hour
with your coach. If you really want to improve
and achieve success, you’ll have to work on it
beyond that hour or three. And who has time for
that?
You may have just started a new job, and you’re
spending more than enough time learning the
ropes, scrambling around the organizational
politics, meeting new people and doing a job
you’re not actually experiencedin (you know that your resume said you were, but you
also know the truth).
Or maybe you’re looking for a job right now, and a career coach is only going to slow you
down.
Or perhaps you’ve just started a new venture. And as if starting a business wasn’t time-
consuming enough without making time for personal development as well.
Or you have a young baby. Or your kids need more time now that exams are
approaching. Or your partner is demandingthat you spend more time with them.
There are a hundred things and people vying for your attention. You’re already stressed,
and a little overwhelmed. Coaching isn’t the answer. You want someone who’s going to
fix your problems for you, and quickly.
We all have just 24 hours a day. 168 a week. The only space left is to sleep less. But
sleeping less isn’t good for you.
Let’s say you get a decent 7 hours sleep a night. You work an average 9 hour day. You
take just an hour to get to work each day. That’s 153 hours this week already. Leaving a
measly 15 hours for eating, TV, kids time, and that thing we call “life”. And your coach
wants 4 or 5 of those??? You are kidding, right?
Lack of time is the number one real enemy of you taking on coaching. Sure.many
coaches will tell you that you can do this in just one hour per week. And they are not
lying. But that’s why they take a year to get you anywhere.
Don't get caught up in all that
busyness and forget the important
things in life
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
14 | P a g e
Personal change and development take time. Your brain can and does re-wire. New
habits can be formed. Beliefs that limit you take time to be overcome.
There are no silver bullets, no quick and easy solutions. It will not happen overnight.
How busy do you need to be before you realise you need to change?
Yes, you are.
And you will continue to be busy.
In fact, as you become more successful, you'll get even busier.
So check whether you really need a coach in Chapter 1.
Consider your objectives for developing yourself.
Establish clear metrics and work out if your time is going to give you a Return on
Investment.
You still here?
So either the above reasons haven’t put you off coaching, or none of these has sent you
scurrying off to another website already or maybe you’re waiting for the sales pitch?
OK. No pitch. If you want coaching andyou want to talk to me about it, you’ll do so
anyway.
But maybe you still aren't sure.
Well, I did write a book to help you. But you don’t even have to buy the book (you are
very welcome to of course, and you can find it here and I'd appreciate it if you did).
I am offering you a gift to access the first part of my book for free. Part One is all about
helping you make a good decision about coachingand who to work with of you do.
And all you have to do is follow the links under each of the reasons.
But, may I recommend that you start here?
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 15
Buy your copy of the book and get yourself unstuck
now.
If you haven’t gone through the chapters and associatedworksheets yet, go back and do
it now. Remember that applying best practices with discipline and consistency,even if
the actual steps seem trite or obvious, is what leads to results.
Thanks so much for reading this guide – if you have any feedback or comments you can
reach me at john.kenworthy@celsim.com.
Don’t settle,
John and the GAPPS team
To learn more about our
Talent Management and
leadership programmes,
visit us at www.celsim.com
To learn more about our
individual coaching visit us
at www.gapps5..com
What makes you think that coaching is the answer?
16 | P a g e
celsim.com
Corporate Edge Asia Pte. Ltd. 10 Anson Road, #26-04, Singapore 079903
Tel: 65 6659 9887|Email john.kenworthy@celsim.com
Facebook|Twitter: drjohnkenworthy
If you find anything that bugs you, please click on the
bug above to send me an email. Nothing is too small or
too big. And if I can, I’ll be sure to fix it. Email me at:
john.kenworthy@celsim.com

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10 reasons why you do not need coaching - action guide and special report

  • 1. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 10 Reasons why you don’t need coaching Dr John Kenworthy
  • 2. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 2 | P a g e celsim.com Action Guides are designed to provide you with simple and straightforward steps to develop in a particular area of your leadership. © Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved Published by Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in any database or retrieval system without the prior written permission of Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd. If you need permission, you’ll have to ask. Ask, because you never know (we may say yes). The information in this document is accurate to the best of our knowledge at the time of writing. As a reader you need to accept full responsibility for your actions and should consult with a professional about your own circumstances before following anything in the book. Results are not guaranteed (Heck, nothing in life is guaranteed). Further, the author and publisher have used their best efforts to proof and confirmthe content of the files, but you should proof and confirm information such as dates, measurements, and any other content for yourself. The author and publisher make no warranties of any kind, express or implied, with regard to that content or its accuracy. For more information, please write to: Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd 10 Anson Road, #26-04 Singapore 079903 Phone: 65 6659 9887 (If you need to call, check the time in SG before calling). E-mail: john.kenworthy@celsim.com Website: www.celsim.com | Facebook & Twitter: drjohnkenworthy Published in Singapore (Where else?). Any person flouting the above rules, will be liable for copyright infringement, plus will be sent (at your own cost of course) to pick panda dung at the Singapore Zoo.
  • 3. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 3 Contents #10 - It's too expensive ...........................................................................................4 Make sure you get a good Return on your Investment ..........................................5 #9 – I’m not senior enough......................................................................................5 Do you actually need a coach then? ......................................................................5 #8 – I’m good enough (aka, I don’t have performance problems)............................6 Are you sure about that?.......................................................................................6 #7 – The company should sponsor your coaching ....................................................7 Can your manager coach you?" .............................................................................7 #6 – My boss is the one who needs coaching ...........................................................8 Or do you need to add value to your boss? ...........................................................8 #5 – I can’t change ..................................................................................................9 If you think you can’t change, you really need to read this... ................................9 #4 - I don’t like to talk about it ..............................................................................10 Perhaps something else would be better for you... ..............................................10 #3 - Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings .......................................................11 And some are about driving your performance... hard.........................................11 #2 - If people know I'm being coached, they'll think I'm weak ...............................12 Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the Madras Crab ......................................12 #1 – I’m too busy ..................................................................................................13 How busy do you need to be before you realise you need to change?..................14 You still here?.........................................................................................................14 Buy your copy of the book and get yourself unstuck now. ......................................15
  • 4. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 4 | P a g e OK, so I need to start off apologizing to all the coaches out there who are desperately trying to persuade you that their coaching is the be all and end all. That you have to get a coach to enjoy true happiness and achieve success. I’m sorry, but there really are good reasons that people do not need coaching. Here’s the top 10 I hear from clients, in reverse order and coming in at number 10, but still a biggie: #10 - It's too expensive I know, I too was a little shocked that this wasn't further up the list. An average coaching engagement costs around $100-250 an hour, and most coaches want you to buy at least an hour a week. A good coach will cost you $400- 900 and up per hour, and the guru coaches, a lot more. A coach for a senior leader in an organizationwill charge upwards of $15,000a year for their services, and that's probably by telephone. So, coaching, even a 'cheap' coach, can become expensive. In fact, if the hourly rate is really low (I know of some coaches who charge less than $50 an hour), you want to be even more careful. Hiring a decent coach, with qualifications (important but not always essential) and experience (vital) will cost money and a fair amount at that. Takingon a coach often means that you will need to cut back in other areas of your expenditure. Perhaps that's delaying the purchase of a new car. Or taking your vacation a little closer to home this year. Not buying a couple of new outfits. Takinga sandwichfrom home each day instead of buying one of those delicious lunch baguettes at your favourite coffee shop. And who wants to do that? How will you know that you are getting good value? Splurging on yourself is a hard-earned reward,and you shouldn't be compromising your lifestyle to enjoy a better future. Live now, pay later is a motto to live by. But the Good coaching is expensive. Make sure you get a Return on your Investment
  • 5. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 5 money isn't everything. And even when you are prepared to spend your hard-earned money on getting a coach, there's the simple question about your current position. And, if I can be so bold. If you don't invest your hard-earned money in your development, there's a very high chance that you won't follow through. Make sure you get a good Return on your Investment  Coaching is expensive, so make sure that you get a good Return on your Investment.  And you want a Guarantee for your coaching.  You want value for money. So how do you work out your return, your value gained for the money you shell out? You need useful Metrics for your coaching. Readthis Chapter on "How to ensure your Coaching ROI". #9 – I’m not senior enough Business and personal coaching is for more senior people. Leaders in business, you know, the one’s who have “leader” in their job title.. In many organizations, coachingis reserved for the senior leadership or the so-called “high potentials”. So, you should be getting your company assigned coach to help you learn how to lead, once you get promoted to a senior leadership role. There is the minor detail that it’s a little late to prepare to be a leader when you've been promoted, but you’ll muddle through. And yes, they should recognize that coaching for you would be greatly beneficial for the company… but they haven’t recognizedthat yet. Do you actually need a coach then? Many organisations consider coachingto be reserved for the upper echelons. And sadly, few have a proper coaching or mentoring culture to support you and your development. Many organisations consider coachingto be reserved for the upper echelons. And sadly, few have a proper coaching or mentoring culture to support you and your development. So would coaching actually be the best option for you? Read this chapter from my book and see if this is your best course of action now. And if not coaching,perhaps some other form of development. But what's the difference?
  • 6. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 6 | P a g e Read this chapter and find out if something other than coachingmight be better for you. On the other hand, if it’s not that coaching is for the good people, rather for those that are weak… there’s the #8 reason… #8 – I’m good enough (aka, I don’t have performance problems) Coaching in many organizations is for people who have problems. A coach is often called in to help ‘fix’ the person in some way. And if you don’t have problems, why on earth would you need a coach? You've been doing your job for years and get things done. Your boss has no complaints. Your performance review is glowing. In fact,you are one of the better managers in the company. Are you sure about that? Change is the only constant. And what got you where you are today, won’t get you where you want to go tomorrow. Competition is fierce, and there is no such thing as a 'permanent' job. Read this chapter and find out if you are motivated to change. But if you should be considering coaching, shouldn't your company be paying for it? Coaching is often best to help good people become better
  • 7. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 7 #7 – The Company should sponsor your coaching Why should you be paying from your own pocket when all the benefit of your increased performance, goes to the company? It would be nice if your boss showed you their genuine appreciation for your efforts, and if coaching is right for you, then one way they could show this is to sponsor your coaching. Absolutely. But then, perhaps you’re not “senior enough”, or not one of the identified “high potentials”. Or perhaps your company doesn't think coachingis beneficialto their bottom line. It is probably right that your company should pay for your coaching. But they get a little scared that once coached, you’ll get poachedby the competitor and hence, waste all that development expense. Incidentally, I charge a lot more for coaching when the company is paying. Why? Because when you don’t personally invest in it, there’s a much higher chance you won’t follow through as enthusiastically.That means more chasingand more of my time spent to keep you progressing. Plus, the company usually expects me to come to your office… more time… more expense. Can your manager coach you?" Your organisation may not have a formal coachingor mentoring programme in place. And your manager may, or may not, be able to coach you. It is helpful for you to understand the difference between being a coach andbeing a manager. Read this chapter and discuss the possibilities with your own manager. Perhaps then it’s your boss who really needs the coaching…
  • 8. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 8 | P a g e #6 – My boss is the one who needs coaching You know that you could do a much better job than your boss. As a leader, they are pretty ineffective and really do need coaching. The thing is, it’s not actually your job to “fix” your leader. I mean, how many times have you tried already? Frustrating yes? So, don’t try to “fix” your leader. Your job is to add value to them. Take some of their burdens, add to their strengths and after a while, they’ll allowyou to compensate for their weaknesses. Or do you need to add value to your boss? I hear this a lot. Almost every workshop I run and many of my prospective clients quickly tell me "my boss should be doing this". It's probably true. Two things you can do then: 1. Share this action guide and special report with them and let them decide for themselves. 2. Read this chapter on building rapport - it's written to help you build rapport with your coach, but it works on building rapport with anyone. If the leader won’t change. Change your attitude or your work address. But perhaps you can’t…
  • 9. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 9 #5 – I can’t change You know that something has to change but you tried, and you just can’t change in the way you are “supposed” to. It’s just how you are wired. Had your parents sent you to a better school, you would have had the same breaks and chance as the others. And climbing the ladder of success would be easy of you had the talent, but it’s too late for that. If you believe that you are hard-wired, and things really cannot change, you could do with an understanding of neuro-genesis and neuro- plasticity. You might even be surprised by yourself. If you think you can’t change, you really need to read this... You can change. In fact,you change daily. You might not want to. But you do. It's possible that you have been misled that your personality and abilities are fixed. Read this chapter and adopt a Growth Mindset. But it’s OK, I fully understand and maybe other people will look at you with disdain if you try… and fail… If you don't work out how to do it. Someone else will work out your future for you.
  • 10. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 10 | P a g e #4 - I don’t like to talk about it I’ve always been somewhat shy (I know it shocks people, but I am… inside). Being shy, and a little withdrawn as a kid I hated talking aboutsome real problems with my parents or teachers or anyone. I was always a little concerned about what they would think about me if I told them what was really going on… inside of me. Maybe it’s just me, but there are times when I find it very difficult to talk aboutwhat’s going on in my head. It feels as though I’m opening myself up to criticism. And God forbid that they discover that I’m not perfect. So yes, talking about some things is tough. But when your coach cares about you, they don’t judge. But surely coaching will dig into those psychological issues you secretly suspect may be lurking deep down inside? At times, my clients have felt like I was the Doc in a white coat probing into their minds. On occasion, it’s a little like being on the therapist's couch. It can be uncomfortable to open up. Yet you know that when you do, there’s a flood of relief. Perhaps something else would be better for you... I understand. Talking about some things is difficult. Especially with a stranger. But perhaps you should better understand the role of a coach and the roles of others who could be helping you. Oh, and by the way. All those crazy thoughts and feelings you’re concerned about. We all have them. Just thought that you should know. Which brings us neatly to number 3.
  • 11. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 11 #3 - Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings If you're still considering coaching at this point, you know some of the discussions you have will be about feelings. Especially those "life coaches". I mean, what's life got to do with work? Work is business. It's not personal. Coaching should focus only on improving performance at work. First-up.Feelings are the tangible experiences you have in your body that are the result of neuro-chemicals being produced in your brain, which are triggered by your thinking. By discussing feelings, a good coach (at least one that understands how the human brain works) can track back to your thinking. Change your thinking, and you change feelings. Second. Your entire life matters. Consider, for example, how you perform at work when you haven't eaten. Do you get grouchy and snap at people? Or when your partner and you had an argument. What do you spend your day thinking about whilst you are at work? Or you get to a certain age and find that there's something missing in your life? You're not sure what, but there's something not there. And some are about driving your performance... hard It's true that a lot of coaches these days are a little "fluffy". There are people who thing that "The Secret" is the answer to everything (It's not, by the way!) Many "Life-coaches" fall into the category of being a little "fluffy". So choose the sort of coach who you want to work with. There's a great little Style Indicator Assessment you can use here to help you know which is best for you. Talking about feelings doesn't have to be sentimental. And guys, it's not a weakness... it's a strength to be able to talk about feelings.
  • 12. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 12 | P a g e #2 - If people know I'm being coached, they'll think I'm weak My Uncle Alan was a stern ex-army Captain. A disciplinarian and no-holds-barred type of man. He loved me deeply and gave me some of the best advice ever and set me free. He told me "Most people don't care about what you're gettingup to, what you're thinking". "You know why?" he asked me. I shook my dumb young head. "Because whilst you're thinking about what they are thinking about you. They are spending their entire time thinking about what you are thinking aboutthem." Yeah. You might need to re-read that a few times. Uncle Alan continued "But the people who do care about you. The people who love you. Well, they do care what's going on inside. Not to judge but to help if they can." So, for those people that per-chance do care about you sufficiently to think about you at all, they won't be thinking that you're weak. They'll be admiring you for being braver than them. But then, if your boss sponsors your coaching, won'tthat suggest that your boss thinks you're weak? It might. But then it also might suggest that your boss thinks that you're great and could be even better. And finally, to the number one reason you do not need coaching... time.Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the Madras Crab." Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the Madras Crab In part, you're wrong. Very very few people are thinking about you. Exceptto be thinking about what you think about them. However, there are people whose mission in life seems to be to pull others down. To stop you, by fear and other tactics, to prevent you from "over-reaching". And God forbid that you do better than them. Best advice is to ignore them. But read this chapter on "Tall Poppy Syndrome".
  • 13. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 13 #1 – I’m too busy You already have too many demands on your time. And good coaching requires you to spend more time than just the weekly or monthly hour with your coach. If you really want to improve and achieve success, you’ll have to work on it beyond that hour or three. And who has time for that? You may have just started a new job, and you’re spending more than enough time learning the ropes, scrambling around the organizational politics, meeting new people and doing a job you’re not actually experiencedin (you know that your resume said you were, but you also know the truth). Or maybe you’re looking for a job right now, and a career coach is only going to slow you down. Or perhaps you’ve just started a new venture. And as if starting a business wasn’t time- consuming enough without making time for personal development as well. Or you have a young baby. Or your kids need more time now that exams are approaching. Or your partner is demandingthat you spend more time with them. There are a hundred things and people vying for your attention. You’re already stressed, and a little overwhelmed. Coaching isn’t the answer. You want someone who’s going to fix your problems for you, and quickly. We all have just 24 hours a day. 168 a week. The only space left is to sleep less. But sleeping less isn’t good for you. Let’s say you get a decent 7 hours sleep a night. You work an average 9 hour day. You take just an hour to get to work each day. That’s 153 hours this week already. Leaving a measly 15 hours for eating, TV, kids time, and that thing we call “life”. And your coach wants 4 or 5 of those??? You are kidding, right? Lack of time is the number one real enemy of you taking on coaching. Sure.many coaches will tell you that you can do this in just one hour per week. And they are not lying. But that’s why they take a year to get you anywhere. Don't get caught up in all that busyness and forget the important things in life
  • 14. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 14 | P a g e Personal change and development take time. Your brain can and does re-wire. New habits can be formed. Beliefs that limit you take time to be overcome. There are no silver bullets, no quick and easy solutions. It will not happen overnight. How busy do you need to be before you realise you need to change? Yes, you are. And you will continue to be busy. In fact, as you become more successful, you'll get even busier. So check whether you really need a coach in Chapter 1. Consider your objectives for developing yourself. Establish clear metrics and work out if your time is going to give you a Return on Investment. You still here? So either the above reasons haven’t put you off coaching, or none of these has sent you scurrying off to another website already or maybe you’re waiting for the sales pitch? OK. No pitch. If you want coaching andyou want to talk to me about it, you’ll do so anyway. But maybe you still aren't sure. Well, I did write a book to help you. But you don’t even have to buy the book (you are very welcome to of course, and you can find it here and I'd appreciate it if you did). I am offering you a gift to access the first part of my book for free. Part One is all about helping you make a good decision about coachingand who to work with of you do. And all you have to do is follow the links under each of the reasons. But, may I recommend that you start here?
  • 15. Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 15 Buy your copy of the book and get yourself unstuck now. If you haven’t gone through the chapters and associatedworksheets yet, go back and do it now. Remember that applying best practices with discipline and consistency,even if the actual steps seem trite or obvious, is what leads to results. Thanks so much for reading this guide – if you have any feedback or comments you can reach me at john.kenworthy@celsim.com. Don’t settle, John and the GAPPS team To learn more about our Talent Management and leadership programmes, visit us at www.celsim.com To learn more about our individual coaching visit us at www.gapps5..com
  • 16. What makes you think that coaching is the answer? 16 | P a g e celsim.com Corporate Edge Asia Pte. Ltd. 10 Anson Road, #26-04, Singapore 079903 Tel: 65 6659 9887|Email john.kenworthy@celsim.com Facebook|Twitter: drjohnkenworthy If you find anything that bugs you, please click on the bug above to send me an email. Nothing is too small or too big. And if I can, I’ll be sure to fix it. Email me at: john.kenworthy@celsim.com