Secrets of Body Language رازهاي زبان بدن تن گفتار اسلايدي كه همراه فيلم و كتاب هاي ديگر به عنوان مطالب كارگاه زبان تن به مخاطبان ارائه مي كنم

1. Farzin Fardiss
Helping people
Communicate better
Body Speaks
or Secrets of Body Language
Farzin Fardiss
fardiss@parssaman.com
Technical Manager and Member of Board
Pars Saman Company
Dec, 13, 2013

2. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 2
Agenda
What do we mean by body language?
Role of body language
How can we interpret others behavior?
How can we improve our own behavior?

3. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 3
Definition

4. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 4
Does it really need to have narration for
Chaplin's performances ?

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 5
Why is Steve Jobs one of the best sales
person and presenters of the whole world?

6. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 6
How Willy Brandt Captured the Peace
Nobel Prize in 1971?

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 7
How are you today? (‫ﺗﻮ‬ ‫زاﻧﻮي‬ ‫از‬ ‫ﭘﻴﺪاﺳﺖ‬ ‫ﺧﻮد‬ ‫)ﮔﻔﺖ‬

8. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 8
The same day but in the opposite mood!

9. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 9
Can you guess what is the right man doing?

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 10
Why aren’t you pouring her some soup?
She can’t even wait for a minute!

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Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 11
If you ask him what is the solution he
would just kill you!

12. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 12
Is he satisfied with the result?

13. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 13
What about him?

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 14
You should be so lucky not to be near him,
he is so determined, isn’t he?

15. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 15
Can you give me a better definition of
struggle?

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 16
Does it really need any Comment?

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Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 17
Types of Communication
Communication
Non Verbal
(Body language & Voice)
Verbal
(Written & Oral)

18. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 18
More important than what you say is how
you say that!
Verbal are for transfer of
information but non-verbal are
for communication of feeling
and Attitudes.
Psychologists* say that a
person's impact depends
7% on what is said (words)
38% on how it is said (voice,
tone, stress)
and
55% on body language
*Albert Mehrabian
blank

19. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 19
Ingredients of body language
Body language is the first language on earth
Body language includes
Posture, Walking and Body Plane
Appearance - Dress style
Gestures and openness
Personal Space
Eye contact
Facial Expression

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 20
Non-verbal (Voice)
Verbal Communication is always accompanied by Non-Verbal
communication
Tone
Projection
Deliver with Clarity and Emphasis
Pitch
High or low Tone of speaking
Pace
Usually 120-160 wpm
Pauses
For emphasis, understanding

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Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 21
‘Non-verbal
channels are the
ones which seem to
be least aware in
ourselves, but most
aware in others’

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 22
Reception and Perception Channels
Three dominant senses which are used to interpret the
outside world:
Sight (visual person, 55%)
Touch (kinetic person, 30%)
Hearing (auditory person, 15%)
Each person has a predominant sense

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 23
What is Body Language?
Body language is the language transmitted by
gestures and postures and provides information about
an individual’s character, emotions, and reactions
A person can stop speaking, but he can’t stop
communicating with his body

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 24
What is Body Language?
Signals emitted unconsciously always tell the truth
Gestures are the direct and unrepeatable expression
of the personality
Each gesture synthesizes multiple contents, both
conscious and unconscious

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 25
What is Body Language?
Body language is a sensorial process from the point
of view of perception and emission
The more signals we consciously attempt to perceive
and understand, the more accurate will be our
interpretation of a person’s conduct
Only those persons who live in awareness of their
body will be able to maintain sensitive contact with
their surroundings

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 26
Ladies perceive body language better!
“I feel that you are not telling the truth”
“I doubt your statement being true”
Experience of Showing 10 sec shots from infants cry
in Hospitals without Sound
Most women recognize correctly
Most men say he/she wants his/her mother
This pattern is just the same for grandmothers/fathers

27. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 27
Application of Body Language
Social Life
Attraction and Love
Negotiation
Lecture and Presentation
Sales & Marketing
Investigations
…
Frankly Speaking, For A Better Life

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 28
Body language or kinesics Exercise 1
A favorite sport of many people is ‘people watching’ or,
as Desmond Morris has called his very popular book,
‘manwatching’
What do you do when you are waiting on a railway
platform, alone or at a busy doctors clinic…
Possibly you can’t hear, so you are actually listening/
hearing/ reading their body language
It is needless to state that to be a good body language
reader you have to sharpen your powers of
observation

29. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 29
‘Actions
speaks Louder
than Words’

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 30
‘its not what he
says, but the
way he says it’

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 31
Arabian proverb
‘He who does not
understand a look will
not understand a long
explanation either’
‘‫ﺑﺎﻻﺷﺎره‬ ‫اﻟﻌﺎﻗﻞ‬’

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 32
Interpretation

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 33
Do not judge immediately!
Some gestures or postures have different meanings in
different parts of the world or in different cultures
Like any other language, body language consists of
words, sentences and punctuation. Each gesture is like a
single word and a word may have several different
meanings. It is only when you put the word into a
sentence with other words that you can fully understand
its meaning.
Gestures come in ‘sentences’ and invariably tell the
truth about a person’s feelings or attitudes.
The ‘perceptive’ person is one who can read the non-
verbal sentences and accurately match them against the
person’s verbal sentences

34. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 34
Shoulder Shrug Gesture –
Universal Body Language
I don’t know
or understand
what you are talking about
Exposed palms,
hunched shoulders
and raised brow

35. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 35
Critical Evaluation Gesture –
Universal Body Language
Hand -to-face gesture, with the
index finger pointing up the cheek
while another finger covers the
mouth and the thumb supports the
chin. The legs are tightly crossed
and the arm crosses the body
(defensive) while the head and chin
are down (hostility)
‘I don’t like what you are saying
and I disagree with you’

36. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 36
Thumb Up Gesture –
Non Universal Body Language
Britain, Australia and New
Zealand “Ok” Signal
Greece and Iran
“Get Stuffed”
In Italy “Five”

37. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 37
Everything’s OK Gesture –
Non Universal Body Language
“OK” in English Speaking
Countries, Spreading all over
the world
But
in France it also means ‘zero’ or
‘nothing’;
in Japan it can mean ‘money’;
in some Mediterranean
countries it is an orifice signal,
often used to infer that a man is
homosexual.

38. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 38
Victory Gesture –
Non Universal Body Language
“Up yours” in England, New
Zealand, Australia when palm
facing in
But
Winston Churchill used it palm
facing out in World War II as
“Victory ” sign

39. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 39
Do not judge gestures individually!
Scratching the head
Itching
Dandruff or fleas,
Sweating,
Uncertainty,
Forgetfulness
Lying

40. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 40
Gestures should be considered in context!
Context the gesture occur in
Person’s physical restrictions or
disabilities (tight close or illness)
Social Status, Power or Prestige
More linguistic, less body
language
Age and Education
Lower age, more body language

41. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 41
Gestures vs. Age (Telling a lie or )

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 42
Openness and Honesty
Submissive Palm Position

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 43
Openness and Honesty
Dominant Palm Position
Submissive Palm Position
Aggressive Palm Position

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 44
Shaking Hands 1
Dominant hand shake for taking control
Submissive hand shake for giving control
Normal shaking

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 45
Shaking Hands 2
Dead Fish Hand shake
weak character
knuckle grinder is the trademark of the
aggressive ‘tough guy’ type

46. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 46
Shaking Hands 3
keep you at a distance
Fingertip grasp or Stiff-arm thrust
Arm Pull Hand Shake
The initiator is from a closer
intimate zone culture

47. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 47
Double Handed Handshake 1
Intention:
Show sincerity, trust or depth of feeling towards the receiver

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 48
Double Handed Handshake 2
Extent of feeling is related to the distance that the initiator’s left
hand is moved up the receiver’s right arm

49. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 49
Glove Hand Shake (Politician’s)
The initiator tries to give the receiver the impression that he
is trustworthy and honest, but when this technique is used
on a person he has just met, it has the reverse effect. The
receiver feels suspicious and cautious about the initiator’s
intentions. The glove should only be used with people to
whom the initiator is well-known.

50. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 50
Hand Clenched Gesture
Frustration gesture, signaling that
the person is holding back a
negative attitude

51. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 51
Steepling Hands
Confident
or ‘know-it-all’ attitude
Specially for accountants,
lawyers, managers
Raised Steepling
While Speaking
Lowered Steepling
While Listener
The movements preceding the steeple gesture
are the key to interpret the outcome

52. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 52
Gripping Hands
Superiority
Confidence
Unconscious act of fearlessness
Recommended when you are in a high
stress situation, such as being interviewed
by newspaper reporters or simply waiting
outside a dentist’s surgery, Since you will
feel quite relaxed, confident and even
authoritative.

53. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 53
Gripping Arms, Wrists
Signal of frustration and an attempt at self-control

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 54
Thumbs display
In palmistry, the thumbs denote strength of character and ego.
They are used to display dominance, superiority or even aggression

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Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 55
Thumbs Up Gesture
Defensive or negative attitude, (folded arms)
plus a Superior attitude (displayed by the thumbs)

56. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 56
Deceit, Doubt, Exaggeration or Lying
when we see, speak and hear untruths or deceit, we often
attempt to cover our mouth, eyes or ears with our hands

57. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 57
Do not interpret hand-to-face gestures in isolation
When someone uses a hand-to- face
gesture, it does not always mean that he
or she is lying.
It does, however, indicate that the person
may be deceiving you and further
observation of his other gesture clusters
can confirm your suspicions.

58. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 58
Mouth Guard
Hand which covers the mouth
Thumb which is pressed against the
cheek as the brain sub consciously
instructs it to try and suppress the
deceitful words that are being said
Fake cough
As a speaker
“Would someone care to
comment on what I’ve just said?”

59. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 59
Nose Touching
Several light rubs below the nose
One quick, almost imperceptible touch
Like the mouth guard gesture, it can be
used both by the speaker to disguise his
own deceit and by the listener who doubts
the speaker’s words

60. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 60
Eye Rub
Men usually rub their eyes vigorously
If the lie is a big one they will often
look away, normally towards the floor
Women use a small, gentle rubbing
motion just below the eye, either because
they have been brought up to avoid
making robust gestures, or to avoid
smudging make-up
They also avoid a listener’s gaze by
looking at the ceiling

61. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 61
Ear Rub
Rubbing the back of the ear,
The finger drill (where the fingertip
is screwed back and forth inside the
ear),
Pulling at the earlobe or
Bending the entire ear forward to
cover the ear hole
This last gesture is also a signal that
the person has heard enough or may
want to speak

62. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 62
Neck Scratch
Index finger of the writing hand
scratches below the earlobe, or may
even scratch the side of the neck
Signal of doubt or uncertainty
‘I’m not sure I agree.’
Mostly 5 times

63. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 63
Collar Pull
Lie causes a slight trickle of sweat
on the neck when the deceiver feels
that you suspect he is lying
Feeling angry or frustrated and
needs to let the cool air circulate
around neck

64. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 64
Pain in the neck
Exaggerated version of the collar
pull
When lying usually used to avoid
your gaze and look down
Signal of frustration or anger
The hand slaps the back of the
neck first and then begins to rub
the neck

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 65
Forgetfulness
Forgetfulness by slapping his head,
either on the forehead or the back of
the neck, as if he were symbolically
hitting himself
Forehead, is not really sorry
Neck, is almost sorry

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 66
Fingers in the mouth
When a person is under pressure
Inner need for reassurance
Giving the person guarantees and
assurances is appropriate

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 67
Boredom
His supporting hand holds his head
up to stop himself from falling asleep
Drumming the fingers on the table
and continual tapping of the feet on
the floor are often misinterpreted by
professional speakers as boredom
signals, but in fact they signal
impatience

68. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 68
Interested Evaluation
Closed hand resting on the cheek,
often with the index finger pointing
upwards

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 69
Negative or Critical Evaluation or thought
Finger points vertically up the cheek
and the thumb supports the chin
The listener is having negative or
critical thoughts about the speaker or
his subject

70. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 70
Chin Stroke
Chin-stroking gesture is the signal
that the listener is making a decision
Removing glasses and putting one
arm of the frame in the mouth
Pipe-smoker puts his pipe in his
mouth
Pen or pencil
The following movements will
indicate whether their decision is
negative or positive

71. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 71
Standard Arm Cross as a Barrier
Hide and Sick in Childhood
Decrease in understanding of a class
in case of this gesture = 38%
Attempt to block out the impending
threat or undesirable circumstances
When a person has a nervous,
negative or defensive attitude, he will
fold his arms firmly on his chest, a
strong signal that he feels threatened
Besides the feeling of threat, less
attention

72. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 72
Reinforced Arm Cross
Clenched fists
Indicates a hostile and defensive
attitude
This cluster is often combined with
clenched teeth and red face, in which
case a verbal or physical attack may
be imminent

73. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 73
Reinforced Arm Cross
Stop any attempt to unfold the arms
and expose the body
In a lawyer’s office
The prosecutor may be seen
using a fists-clenched arm-cross
The defence may have taken the
arm- gripping position

74. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 74
Partial Arm Barrier
Mostly seen at meetings where a
person may be a stranger to the group
or is lacking in self-confidence
Holding hands with oneself for
people who stand before a crowd to
receive an award or give a speech

75. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 75
Disguised Arm Cross
Highly sophisticated gestures
used by people who are continually
exposed to others
Politicians,
Sales people,
Television personalities
and the like who do not want
their audience to detect that
they are unsure of themselves
or nervous

76. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 76
Standard Leg Cross Gesture
Like arm barrier gestures, crossed
legs are a signal that a negative or
defensive attitude may exist
One leg is crossed neatly over the
other, usually the right over the left
When the crossed legs gesture is
combined with crossed arms, the
person has withdrawn from the
conversation

77. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 77
American Figure 4 Leg Lock Position
Leg cross indicates that an
argumentative or competitive attitude
exists
Figure 4 leg cross with one or both
hands, using them as a clamp; a sign
of the tough-minded, stubborn
individual who may need a special
approach to break through his
resistance
this

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 78
Standing Leg Cross Gestures

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Body Language Skills Workshop 79
Open Body and Open Attitude

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Body Language Skills Workshop 80
Ankle-Lock Gesture
Male version; is often combined
with clenched fists resting on the
knees or with the hands tightly
gripping the arms of the chair
Female version; the knees are held
together, the feet may be to one side
and the hands rest side by side or
one on top of the other resting on
the upper legs
Mentally ‘biting his lip’, holding
back an emotion or attitude or
valuable concession

81. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 81
Foot Lock
Almost exclusively used
by women
The top of one foot locks
around the other leg to
reinforce a defensive
attitude
The woman has become a
mental recluse or has
retreated like a tortoise into
her shell

82. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 82
Straddling a Chair
Most chair straddlers are dominant
individuals who will try to take control
of other people or groups when they
become bored with the conversation,
and the back of the chair serves as good
protection from any ‘attack’ by other
members of the group.
He is often discreet and can slip into
the straddle position almost unnoticed
Stand or sit behind him

83. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 83
Picking Imaginary Lint
Person disapproving of the opinions or
attitudes of others but feeling constrained
in giving his point of view, the non-
verbal gestures that show is displacement
gestures, that is result from a withheld
opinion (Picking imaginary pieces of lint
from the clothing is a sample)
The lint picker usually looks away
from the other people towards the floor
while performing this minor, irrelevant
action to show this one of the most
common signals of disapproval

84. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 84
Neutral Head Position
Person who has a neutral attitude
about what he is hearing
Head nod (Up and Down) is a
positive gesture used in most cultures
to signify, ‘Yes’, or affirmation
The headshake (Left and Right)
usually means ‘No’

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 85
Interested Head Position 1
Head tilted to one side shows that
interest has developed
Giving a sales presentation or
delivering a speech, always make a
point of looking for this gesture
among your audience.
When you see them tilt their
heads and
lean forward using
hand-to-chin evaluation gestures,
you are getting the point across

86. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 86
Interested Head Position 2
Women use this head position to
show interest in an attractive male
When others are speaking to you,
all you need do is use the head-tilted
position and head nods to make the
listener feel warm towards you.

87. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 87
Disapproval Down Head Position
The attitude is negative and even
judgmental
Critical evaluation clusters are
normally made with the head down
and, unless you can get the person’s
head up or tilted, you may have a
communication problem

88. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 88
Both Hands Behind Head Gesture
Professionals as accountants, lawyers,
sales managers, bank managers or
people who are feeling confident,
dominant, or superior about something
‘I have all the answers’
‘Maybe one day you’ll be as smart
as I am’,
‘Everything’ s under control’
‘Know-it-all’ individual
People may find it irritating

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 89
I am just as smart as you!

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 90
Aggressive Ready for Action Gesture
Aggressive pose
Display of fearlessness
Birds fluff their feathers to make
themselves appear bigger when they are
fighting or courting;
Humans use the hands-on-hips gesture
for the same purpose

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 91
Seated Readiness 1
One of the most valuable gestures that
a negotiator can learn to recognize is
seated readiness
In the selling situation if the potential
buyer were to take this gesture at the end
of the sales presentation and the
interview had progressed successfully
up to that point, the sales person could
ask for the order and expect to get it

92. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 92
Seated Readiness 2
Whenever the seated readiness gesture
followed the chin stroking gesture
(decision- making), the client bought
The seated readiness gesture is also
taken by the angry person who is ready
for something else - to throw you out
The preceding gesture clusters give the
correct assessment of the person’s
intentions

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 93
Starter’s Position
Readiness gestures that signal a desire
to end a conversation or encounter are
leaning forward
with both hands on both knees, or
with both hands gripping the chair
Would be wise for you to take the lead
and terminate it; this allows you to
maintain a psychological advantage and
to keep the control

94. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 94
Eye Signals
Eyes may well give the most revealing and accurate of all
human communication signals because they are a focal
point on the body and the pupils work independently
The pupils will dilate or contract as the person’s attitude
and mood change from positive to negative and vice versa.
When someone becomes excited, his pupils can dilate up to
four times their normal size. Conversely, an angry, negative
mood causes the pupils to contract to what are commonly
known as ‘beady little eyes’ or ‘snake eyes’
Pupil watching was used by the ancient Chinese gem
traders who watched for the pupil dilation of their buyers
when negotiating prices

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 95
Eye Contact
‘Look a person in
the eye when you
talk to him’

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Body Language Skills Workshop 96
Eye Contact
‘to build a good rapport
with another person, your
gaze should meet his
about 60 to 70 percent of
the time’

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 97
Eye Signals
Interesting or appealing
Hostile

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Body Language Skills Workshop 98
Eye Signals
Shy or Timid
Cultural Limitations
Dishonest or holding
back information

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Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 99
Gaze Behavior
Intimate Gaze Social Gaze Business Gaze

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Body Language Skills Workshop 100
Sideways Glance
Used to communicate either interest or hostility
When it is combined with slightly raised eyebrows or
a smile, it communicates interest and is frequently
used as a courtship signal
If it is combined with down-turned eyebrows,
furrowed brow or the corners of the mouth down-
turned, it signals a suspicious, hostile or critical attitude

101. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 101
Eye Block Gesture
Compared to the normal rate of six to eight blinks per minute
during conversation, the eyelids close and remain closed for a
second or longer as the person momentarily wipes you from
his mind
If a person feels superior to you, the eye block gesture is
combined with the head tilted backwards to give you a long
look, commonly known as ‘looking down one’s nose’
When you see an eye block gesture during a conversation, it
is a signal that the approach you are using may be causing a
negative reaction and that a new tack is needed if effective
communication is to take place

102. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 102
Controlling a person’s Gaze

103. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 103
Smoking
One of the displacement activities
While a smoker will cover up his anxiety by smoking, non-
smokers perform other rituals such as grooming, nail biting, finger
and foot tapping, cufflink adjusting, head scratching, taking a ring
off and putting it back on, playing with a tie and demonstrating
numerous other gestures that tell us the person needs reassurance
Pipe smokers perform a cleaning, lighting, tapping, filling, packing
and puffing ritual with their pipes and this is a very useful way to
help relieve tension when they are under pressure
If the smoker lights a cigarette and suddenly extinguishes it earlier
than he normally would, he has signaled his decision to terminate the
conversation

104. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 104
Cigarette Smokers Attitude
Feeling positive, superior or
confident will blow the smoke in an
upward direction most of the time
Negative, secretive or suspicious
frame of mind will blow the smoke
down and from the corner of the
mouth most of the time
Continual tapping of a cigar or
cigarette end on the ashtray shows
that an inner conflict is taking place
and that you may need to reassure
the smoker

105. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 105
Stall
Glasses-in-mouth gesture can be
used to stall or delay a decision
Continually taking the glasses off
and cleaning the lenses is another
method used by glasses wearers to
gain time for a decision
Silence is the best tactic in return

106. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 106
Peering Over Glasses
Whoever is on the receiving end of
this look may feel as though he is being
judged or scrutinized
Looking over the glasses can be a very
costly mistake, as the listener inevitably
responds to this look with folded arms,
crossed leggy and a correspondingly
negative attitude

107. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 107
Territorial Gestures
People lean against other people or
objects to show a territorial claim to that
object or person
Also used as a method of dominance
or intimidation when the object being
leaned on belongs to someone else

108. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 108
Intimidation or territorial Gesture

109. Farzin Fardiss
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Body Language Skills Workshop 109
Ownership Gestures
Leg-over chair gesture not only
signifies the man’s ownership of that
particular chair or space, but also signals
that customary etiquettes may be relaxed

110. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 110
Carbon Copies and Mirror Images 1

111. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 111
Carbon Copies and Mirror Images 2
This ‘carbon copying’ is a means by which one person tells the other
that he is in agreement with his ideas and attitudes
‘As you can see, I think the same as you, so I will copy your posture and gestures’

112. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 112
Body Lowering and Status
Lowering the height of one’s body in
front of another person has been used as a
means of establishing superior/sub ordinate
relationships
Tall people command more authority
than short people
There are some circumstances under
which lowering the body can be a
dominance signal. E.g. where you slouch
down and make yourself comfortable in an
easy chair in another person’s home while
the owner is standing

113. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 113
Body Lowering and Status
Height can also be detrimental to some
aspects of one-to-one communication
where you need to ‘talk on the same
level’ or have an ‘eye-to-eye’ discussion
with another person

114. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 114
Pointer Postures
The direction in which a person points
his or her torso or feet is a signal of where
he or she would prefer to be going
It is noticeable that often in negotiations,
when one person has decided to terminate
the negotiation or wants to leave, he will
turn his body or swing his feet to point
towards the nearest exit
Do something to get the person involved
and interested or else terminate the
conversation on your terms, which allows
you to maintain the control

115. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 115
Pointer Postures Open Formation
The angle at which people orient their
bodies also gives many non-verbal clues
to their attitudes and relationships.
For example, people in most English
speaking countries stand with their
bodies oriented to form an angle of 90
degrees during ordinary social
intercourse.
This also serves as a non-verbal
invitation for a third person to join in the
conversation by standing at the third
point

116. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 116
Pointer Postures Closed Formation
When intimacy or privacy is required
by two people, the angle formed by their
torsos decreases from 90 degrees down
to 0 degrees
Both parties may mirror each other’s
gestures if they are interested in each
other

117. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 117
Pointer Postures
Third Person is welcome and accepted

118. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 118
Pointer Postures
Third Person is not accepted although
the two person are looking at him!

119. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 119
Pointer Postures-Seated Body Pointing
Crossing the knees towards another
person is a sign of acceptance or interest
in that person.

120. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 120
Pointer Postures
Not only do the feet serve as
pointers, indicating the direction
in which a person would like to
go, but they are also used to
point at people who are
interesting or attractive

121. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 121
Pointer Postures

122. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 122
Pointer Postures

123. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 123
Pointer Postures

124. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 124
Territories and Zones

125. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 125
Zone Distances

126. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 126
Intimate Zone

127. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 127
Intimate Zone

128. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 128
Personal Zone and Negative reaction in
case of an intruder

129. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 129
Practical Applications of Zone Distances 1
Personal Area (territory) is dependent of the population
Lion in a forest in Africa, 60km
Lion in a cage in zoo, 10m
Rural Areas, Urban Areas, Lift
The intrusion of a stranger into intimate zone causes
physiological changes
heart pumps faster,
adrenalin pours into the bloodstream,
blood is pumped to the brain and the muscles
as physical preparations for a possible fight or flight situation

130. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 130
Practical Applications of Zone Distances 2
Police interrogators use territorial invasion
techniques to break down the resistance of criminals
being questioned
Managers do the same to extract information from
subordinates who may be withholding it.
Salesmen should take care not to do this with their
customers

131. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 131
Impact of Living Area on Territories!

132. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 132
Interpretation

133. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
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Body Language Skills Workshop 133
Being Different

134. Farzin Fardiss
Helping People
Communicate Better
Body Language Skills Workshop 134
Questions?

135. Farzin Fardiss
Helping people
Communicate better
Thank You