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Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
- 2. Transaction Analysis
Transaction Analysis - The unconscious
tactics used in communication
Transaction - a verbal exchange between
people
Unconscious mind - place where forgotten
memories, feelings, & ideas are stored.
Stimulus Response - Stimuli results in
automatic responses based on remembered
experiences
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 4. Child Ego State
Learned through experience
Natural Child - imaginative, friendly,
open, innocent, & appreciative
Adapted Child - realizes that you
don’t always get what you want
(realist)
“Little Professor” - intuitive, creative,
& manipulative
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 5. Parent Ego State
Learned by observation & experience
Prompts automatic responses without
consulting the adult state “because I said
so”
Behaviors & sayings learned from the parent
are passed down again when taking on this
role
Critical Parent - points out mistakes or
misbehavior
Sympathetic Parent - nurturing, supporting,
caring person
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 6. Adult Ego State
Learned by observation & experience
Rational, careful thinking without
emotions & assumptions.
Factual analysis
Self control
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 9. Crossed Transactions
An unexpected response is received
Disrupts communication, must restart
Message is tailored for a certain ego
type & actual ego type differs
Respond in kind to move to
complimentary
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 11. Changing State
Adult Ego State
Ask a question
Make a factual unemotional statement
Ask for opinions
Sympathetic Parent State
Ask for help
Voice fears
Request advice
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 13. Ego States
No state is best
Adult state usually works best at a job
Balance in everything
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 15. Script Categories
Commands - verbal or nonverbal
negative instructions
Countercommands - commands that
contradict each other
Permission
Mythical Hero - media, stories
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 16. Life Position
1.
2.
3.
4.
Your conclusion about yourself and others
I’m not OK, You’re OK, feel inferior
I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK, too many
punishments can lead to this. General
negative view of life
I’m OK, You’re Not OK, may arise out of
abuse. Dominating, always right persona
I’m OK, You’re OK, happy, usually
consciously chosen
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 17. Stroking
Stroking - recognizing the
accomplishments of others
Must be in balance
Too little = depression
Too much = feel manipulated or bothered
Needed strokes dependent on past
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 18. Games
Series of ulterior transactions with a
predictable outcome.
There is one ulterior transaction per
game
One person gets something out of it
Wastes time and hurts relationships
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 19. Game Types
Blemish - finds faults in others to boost
own ego
Wooden Leg - excuses are used to
diminish or redirect blame
Harried - States or acts too busy to
avoid social situations
Now I’ve Got You - traps another
person in a mistake or lie
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 20. Stopping Games
Build your self esteem
Stay in the adult ego state
Ask “how” instead of “why” questions
Bring the other person to adult ego
Focus on the positives (games focus
on the negatives)
Look at positive points in others and
use stroking
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005
- 21. Assertiveness
Standing up for yourself or others
without damaging another
Not passive or aggressive
Know the ego state of others
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005