Lesson made into PPT from Business Communications textbook.

1. Letter Openings & Closings
Good or Bad?

2. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• After recently paying a parking ticket at the
Court House, I noticed an ad on the bulletin
board for an opening in the probation
department.
• The bad joke in the opening (for a job
application in law enforcement, no less)
trivializes the persona, making the writer
ultimately seem uninterested in the job.

3. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• I recently read of your opening for a field
geologist. One of my professors, Dr. R. D.
Loner, worked for you, and claims that your
company was beneficial to her career. My taking
the position would be a great opportunity to
advance my career in geology.
• The self-serving persona here clearly violates the
principle that a letter should emphasize what the
applicant can offer the employer, not vice versa.
The “you” perspective is nonexistent.

4. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• I have spent many summer vacations hiking and
camping in Yosemite National Park, and would
like to return to the park as an employee.
• This effective opening immediately gives the
writer’s main point—the U.S. Air Force Academy’s
Executive Writing Course booklet calls it “the one
sentence you’d keep if you could keep only one.”
We get the impression of a writer who is
informed, sincere, motivated, and very definite
about his or her plans.

5. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• Please consider my application for the
business-oriented programming position
advertised in the Boston Globe. I will graduate
in May from Eastern University, with a B.S. in
Electrical Engineering Technology.
• This opening is familiar and safe, but effective.
Nothing flashy—merely a
serious, conservative persona, appropriate for
this type of job.

6. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• Texaco is a very important leader in the
development and distribution of the world’s
energy resources. Would your company have a
place on its R&D team for a mathematician
with experience in computer programming?
• Busy professionals hate having their time
wasted by worthless information. The writer’s
trite and pathetic attempt at flattery creates a
juvenile and unprofessional persona.

7. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• While attending Eastern University, I have closely
followed your company’s financial
statements, and have become highly interested in
your sales growth. Therefore, when Roberta
Lowny, Vice President of Sales for Bando
Sportswear, informed me of an opening in your
fabric sales division, I decided to write
immediately.
• This persona suggests a writer clearly on top of
things, informed and action-oriented.

8. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• Does your company have a summer position
for a student determined to become a
technical writer? If so, I think you will find me
qualified.
• The main-point lead and the confident but
diplomatic tone create a forceful yet likeable
persona.

9. Letter Openings: Good? Bad?
• I am applying for a position as a computer clerk.
Most of my programming experience has been
with PASCAL. I have experience programming in a
variety of languages. I was referred to you by
Chris Mather, who is employed as a computer
clerk in your firm. His interest and enthusiasm
encouraged me to write.
• The Dick-and-Jane sentence structure and
diction, along with a nonexistent “you”
perspective, add up to a dreary, faceless persona.

10. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• I would like an interview with you as soon as
possible.
• Being bossy with a prospective employer is no
way to create a likeable persona.

11. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• If my qualifications seem to interest
you, would you kindly consider the possibility
of contacting me at home (247-555-9867) any
weekday after 3 P.M.?
• The humble tone in this example, with its
many qualifiers, creates a Milquetoast
persona. Nobody likes a wimp.

12. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• I know I can succeed as a technical writer in
the software industry. I look forward to
hearing from you about my placement in your
company.
• Although definite and determined, this writer
oversteps the bounds for an applicant. His
“placement” is far from being an established
fact.

13. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• I hope you agree that I am the type of
engineer DGH is seeking. Please allow me to
further discuss career opportunities with you.
• This closing is confident yet diplomatic, both
summing up persuasively (assuming the letter
text supports such a conclusion) and moving
the reader to action.

14. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• I feel well qualified for the position as Park
Naturalist, and hope you will consider me for
the job. If you need more information or wish
to contact me for any reason, feel free to call
at 265-555-5467 any weekday after 4 P.M.
• The tone is relaxed and friendly, a good
persona for this job.

15. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• If your department has a place for an
enthusiastic intern, I hope you will consider
me. I would welcome the opportunity to
discuss my application with you directly.
• This closing leaves us feeling as if the applicant
is a person worth meeting:
energetic, motivated, and assertive.

16. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• I would like to arrange an interview with your
company to discuss this position. Please
phone me at your convenience.
• This closing reads like something from a set of
military orders—a faceless writer telling a
faceless reader what to do. All intimacy is
missing.

17. Letter Closings: Good? Bad?
• I am hardworking, efficient, eager to learn,
and anxious for the opportunity to apply my
skills. Please consider me for a summer
position.
• This closing effectively sums up the writer’s
view of her assets, and restates the main point
as a diplomatic appeal for action.

18. Final Tips
• Letter openings should capture attention.
• Letter closings should motivate action.
• Think about your “persona” and how it comes
across in your writing.
• Avoid clichés, “canned” phrases, and flattery.