This is a condensed slide deck from my Spring 2019 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Spring 2019

2. Attendance
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3. Attendance
It matters a lot
Pairs & small groups every class
Your presence affects other students
Unexcused absence = Drop one full grade
More than one unexcused absence = a grade of U

4. Class #
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5. Beginnings
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6. Intro 20 mins
An exercise 30 mins
Coaching tools 10 mins
Partnerships 40 mins
Logistics 5 mins
Today’s agenda
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7. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

8. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

9. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

10. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
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11. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
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12. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
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13. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

14. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

15. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

16. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

17. Conceptual
frameworks
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18. Conceptual
Neuroscience
Positive psychology
Many heuristics, no algorithms
(Thus: the ART of self-coaching)
frameworks

19. Self-coaching is
SOCIAL
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20. Self-coaching is
SOCIAL
You’ll reflect outside of class
Class will be highly interactive
Small groups & 2 partners

21. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

22. Photo by Stephen Haas [link]
A nudge,
not a shove

23. Joyful learning
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24. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

25. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

26. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

27. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

28. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point

29. Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy

30. CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions

31. Safety, trust,
intimacy
Built through relationships
A critical skill for self-coaching
You’ll practice here with classmates

32. Coaching tools
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33. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

34. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT Sloan
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

35. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

36. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

37. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

38. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrative
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

39. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

40. Ask better
Photo by Alexander Drachman [link]
questions

41. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

42. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

43. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

44. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

45. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

46. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

47. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

48. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston
Edgar Schein, MIT Sloan

49. Empathy &
shame
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

50. Empathy &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
shame

51. Empathy &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
shame

52. Empathy &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
shame

53. Empathy &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
shame

54. Empathy &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
shame

55. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings are PDFs or websites
Bulk download all course files (Canvas Tips)
Canvas issues? Contact Paul Mattish (my FA)

56. Course logistics
Any other issues? Contact me

57. Grading
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58. Grading
Attendance
Weekly assignments
Pass/fail with permission

59. Written work
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60. Written work
8 weekly assignments (700 word limit)
Assignments are late after Tues 9pm
Not accepted after Wed 5pm

61. Written work
The content is up to you*
*Look ahead to the upcoming class
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements

62. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timely Submission
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

63. How to get an LP
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64. How to get an LP
1 unexcused absence OR
2 unsubmitted assignments OR
3 late assignments (after Tues 9pm)

65. 1:1 Meetings
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66. 1:1 Meetings
Appointments:
Optional (No impact on your grade)
Thursdays 10am-2pm
Up to 2 meetings
In Bass (B206)

67. For next time…
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68. Change
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69. Change
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Content is up to you but look ahead
All readings are on Canvas
Pads & Sharpies, please
If you drop, email me