This is a condensed slide deck from my Winter 2019 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Winter 2018

2. Beginnings
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3. Intro 20 mins
An exercise 30 mins
Coaching tools 10 mins
Partnerships 40 mins
Logistics 5 mins
Today’s agenda
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4. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

5. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

6. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

7. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

8. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

9. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

10. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

11. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

12. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

13. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

14. Self-coaching is
SOCIAL
Photo by Heinrich Böll-Stiftung[link]

15. Self-coaching is
SOCIAL
You’ll reflect outside of class
Class will be highly interactive
Small groups & 2 partners

16. Positive
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psychology

17. Positive
psychology
Study of what makes life most worth living
Focused on strengths & weaknesses
Robust research to date

18. Sense of agency  We blame ourselves
Risk of social comparison
Avoid triumph & despair
Get curious instead
Limitations

19. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

20. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

21. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

22. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

23. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

24. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point

25. Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy

26. CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions

27. Safety, trust,
intimacy
Built through relationships
A critical skill for self-coaching
You’ll practice here with classmates

28. Coaching tools
Photo by zzpza [link]

29. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

30. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT Sloan
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

31. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

32. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

33. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

34. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrative
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

35. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

36. Ask better
Photo by Alexander Drachman [link]
questions

37. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

38. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

39. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

40. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

41. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

42. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

43. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

44. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston
Edgar Schein, MIT Sloan

45. Empathy &
shame
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

46. Empathy &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
shame

47. Empathy &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
shame

48. Empathy &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
shame

49. Empathy &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
shame

50. Empathy &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
shame

51. Traps for the
coach
Photo by Casey Fleser [link]

52. Traps for the
coach
Excessive pattern recognition
Giving advice prematurely
Overpowering resistance
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

53. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Debrief

54. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings are PDFs or websites
Bulk download all course files (Canvas Tips)
Canvas issues? Contact my Faculty Assistant

55. Course logistics
Any other issues? Contact me
Email/text/phone
8am-6pm

56. Grading
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57. Grading
Attendance
Weekly assignments
Pass/fail with permission

58. Written work
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59. Written work
8 weekly assignments (700 word limit)
Assignments are late after Tues 9pm
Not accepted after Wed 5pm

60. Written work
The content is up to you*
*Look ahead to the upcoming class
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements

61. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timely Submission
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

62. How to get an LP
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63. How to get an LP
1 unexcused absence OR
2 unsubmitted assignments OR
3 late assignments (after Tues 9pm)

64. 1:1 Meetings
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65. 1:1 Meetings
Optional (No impact on your grade)
Thursdays 10am-2pm
Up to 2 meetings
Usually in B206

66. For next time…
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67. Change
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68. Change
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Content is up to you but look ahead
All readings are on Canvas
All texts reserved in Bass
Pads & Sharpies, please
If you drop, email me