This is a condensed slide deck from my Winter 2018 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Winter 2018

2. Class #
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3. Beginnings
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4. Intro 20 mins
An exercise 30 mins
Coaching tools 15 mins
Partnerships 30 mins
Logistics 10 mins
Today’s agenda
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5. Who am I?
Executive coach
GSB Lecturer & alumnus
LeadLabs, Fellows, Touchy Feely
Contributor @HarvardBiz (a book?)

6. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

7. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

8. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

9. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

10. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

11. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
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12. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

13. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

14. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

15. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

16. Not a solitary
experience
You’ll reflect outside of class
Class will be highly interactive
Small groups & 2 partners

17. Positive
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psychology

18. Positive
psychology
Study of what makes life most worth living
Focused on strengths & weaknesses
Robust research to date

19. Sense of agency  We blame ourselves
Risk of social comparison
Avoid triumph & despair
Get curious instead
Limitations

20. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

21. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

22. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

23. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

24. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

25. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point

26. Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy

27. CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions

28. Safety, trust,
intimacy
Built through relationships
A critical skill for self-coaching
You’ll practice here with classmates

29. Coaching team
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30. Coaching tools
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31. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

32. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT Sloan
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

33. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

34. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

35. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

36. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrative
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

37. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

38. Ask better
Photo by Alexander Drachman [link]
questions

39. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

40. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

41. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

42. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

43. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

44. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

45. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

46. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston
Edgar Schein, MIT Sloan

47. Shame &
empathy
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

48. Shame &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
empathy

49. Shame &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
empathy

50. Shame &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
empathy

51. Shame &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
empathy

52. Shame &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
empathy

53. Traps for the
coach
Photo by Casey Fleser [link]

54. Traps for the
coach
Excessive pattern recognition
Giving advice prematurely
Overpowering resistance
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

55. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings are PDFs or websites
Some class prep documents in Word
Bulk download all course files (Canvas Tips)

56. Grading
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57. Grading
Attendance
Weekly assignments
Pass/fail with permission

58. Written work
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59. Written work
9 weekly assignments (700 word limit)
Deadline = Sunday @ 5:00pm

60. Written work
The content is up to you*
*Look ahead to the upcoming class
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements

61. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timeliness (No allowance for tech issues)
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

62. 1:1 Meetings
Photo by Richard Walker [link]

63. 1:1 Meetings
Optional (No impact on your grade)
Most weeks: Meet in B206 (Bass)
Weeks 2-4: Meet in W107
Tuesdays, 10am-3pm
Up to 2 meetings

64. For next time…
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65. Change
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66. Change
Weekly assignment due Sunday 5pm
Content is up to you but look ahead
All readings are on Canvas
Texts reserved in Bass
If you drop, email me