The Art of Self-Coaching is a course that I designed and launched at the Stanford Graduate School of Business (GSB) in Spring 2015, and in Spring 2020 I'm teaching it again for the 13th time (although for the very first time online.) In response to COVID-19, the GSB has moved all Spring Quarter classes online, and in an effort to make a small contribution of my own to help people cope with the pandemic, I'm offering this publicly available online version of the course: https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-public-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by Jes [link]
Ed Batista
Class 7: UNHAPPINESS
Public Course
Spring 2020
self-coaching

2. Best practices

3. Best practices
Submit questions via Q&A during my remarks
“Side-by-Side Mode” for optimal layout
Email: selfcoachingcourse@gmail.com
I’ll read everything

4. Partner
conversations

5. Partner
Will need to interact real-time during class
(In-person, phone, a separate video call)
Experiment with the coaching process
Watch the timer to stay on track
conversations

6. Unhappiness
Photo by Jes [link]
The absence of happiness?
A legitimate feeling
A fruitful state

7. Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Exercise & debrief 20 mins
Partner exercises 45 mins
Remarks 10 mins
Questions 10 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda

8. Unhappiness
Photo by Jes [link]

9. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 2
partner

10. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
4 2
partner

11. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
2
partner

12. Unhappiness
Everyone you meet
is fighting a battle
you know nothing about.
~ Wendy Mass

13. 3 exercises
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

14. 3 exercises
Pen & paper
Be explicit, detailed & personal
Emotional experiences, not just cognitive
Proceed slowly—do NOT begin with COVID-19

15. Exercise #1
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]

16. Start slowly
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]

17. Discuss with your
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]
partner

18. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 28
partner

19. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 2
partner

20. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
4 2
partner

21. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
2
partner

22. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

23. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Things do not touch the soul.
Our perturbations come only
from the opinion which is within.
~Marcus Aurelius

24. Exercise #2
Photo by Harsha K R [link]

25. Discuss with your
Photo by Harsha K R [link]
partner

26. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 28
partner

27. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 2
partner

28. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
4 2
partner

29. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
2
partner

30. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]

31. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Maybe the most important teaching
is to lighten up and relax.
~Pema Chödrön

32. Exercise #3
Photo by Mike Dish [link]

33. Discuss with your
Photo by Mike Dish [link]
partner

34. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 28
partner

35. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
6 4 2
partner

36. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
4 2
partner

37. What did that evoke for me?
What am I thinking & feeling?
Minutes remaining:
Discuss with your
2
partner

38. Logotherapy
Photo courtesy of Rafael Delsin [link]

39. Logotherapy
Man’s search for meaning is the
primary motivation in his life.
~Viktor Frankl

40. Shift the energy
Photo by Derek Bridges [link]

41. Thank your
Photo by Michael Bentley [link]
partner

42. Not a deep dive
Photo by Anna [link]

43. Positive
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
psychology
Connections with today
Importance of meaning
Emotion regulation
Mental models

44. Downsides
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
Banish unhappiness?
Peterson: Blame the victim
Agency  “I’m responsible”
& limits

45. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

46. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Not “stoicism”
Equanimity ≠ Weary resignation

47. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Happiness = equanimity & tranquility
(Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure)

48. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Turn toward negative emotions
(Growth mindset)

49. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Distress stems from our beliefs & judgments
(Mental models)

50. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Turn infinite fears into finite ones
(Emotion regulation)

51. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]

52. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Seeking pleasure is an opportunity to observe
what we do in the face of pain.
~Pema Chödrön

53. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Resisting our addiction to avoiding pain
Being inquisitive & open to experience
(Comfort with discomfort)
(Mindfulness)

54. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
What we call obstacles are really the way
the world teaches us where we’re stuck.
~Pema Chödrön
(Mental models)

55. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Death is wanting to have every experience
confirm you and congratulate you and
make you feel completely together.
~Pema Chödrön
(Growth mindset)

56. Logotherapy
Photo courtesy of Rafael Delsin [link]

57. Logotherapy
Everywhere man is confronted with fate,
with the chance of achieving something
through his own suffering.
~Viktor Frankl

58. Logotherapy
Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.
~Viktor Frankl

59. Logotherapy
At odds with positive psychology?
Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure
The importance of meaning
Agency & responsibility

60. Your questions
Photo by Véronique Debord-Lazaro [link]

61. For next time…
Photo by funca88 [link]

62. Success
“Success Kid” photograph © Laney Griner, used with permission [link]

63. Success
Sonja Lyubomirsky on myths
David Foster Wallace on values
Peter Drucker (optional) on self-management
…and an exercise

64. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
An exercise…

65. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Managing
Oneself Worksheet

66. Managing
Complete after doing the assigned readings
Oneself Worksheet

67. Other items…
Video & slides posted on my site

68. Thank you for
Photo by J Brooks [link]
the trust