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Dynamics
Interpersonal
Ed Batista
Winter 2016
CLASS 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD
Photo by Martin Meredith [link]
Vulnerability
hangover
Vulnerability
hangover
The morning after the [2010 TED] talk, I woke
up with one of the worst vulnerability hangovers
of my life… What did I do? 500 people officially
think I’m crazy & it totally sucks.
~Brené Brown
If that’s not
therapy, what is it?
Comfort with
discomfort
Disclosures aren’t intended to heal or solve
Greater capacity to share & witness
Very real-world problem
Photo by striatic [link]
An ending
Discuss with your
How you helped
What I’m thankful for
What I learned about support
support group
Debrief
What did you learn?
How might this apply in the real world?
Foundations
Photo by Branden Frederick [link]
Translating
Photo by Sludge G [link]
Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions
Emotions are
attention magnets
Photo by Garrett Mace [link]
Social identity
Continuum of social behavior
Intergroup Interpersonal
Intergroup
Photo by U.S. Army [link]
Intergroup
Photo by Neon Tommy [link]
Interpersonal
Photo by Tania Cataldo [link]
It’s usually both
Photo by Anne Worner [link]
Feedback
Stressful
Confusing
Unwelcome
Feedback
Photo by rh20x [link]
It’s not like this…
It’s like this
Photo by Unknown. Concept by Kevin Martin.
3 triggers
Photo by Wendy [link]
Truth
Relationship
Identity
The net
Me You
Your
response
My
behavior
My
intention
5 levels1: Ritual
2: Extended Ritual
3: Content
4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
A soft start
Photo by Oakley Originals [link]
Like this
Begin with authentic positive intent
Emphasize mutual goals
A soft start
Connections
Photo by Hadley Paul Garland [link]
Connections
A bid can be a question, a gesture, a look,
a touch—any single expression that says,
“I want to feel connected to you.”
~John Gottman
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF model
Status
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Fairness
SCARF model
Stereotype threat
Photo by Renato Ganoza
Microaggressions
Photo by Igor Spasic [link]
The balcony &
Photo by Richard Leeming [link]
the dance floor
Dissecting a
Photo by Sharon Mollerus [link]
group
EQ and groups
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
EQ and groups
Mutual trust
Group identity (feeling of belonging)
Group efficacy (belief in value of the team)
Strongly affected by group EQ
EQ and groups
Emotional awareness
Emotion regulation (≠ suppression)
Inward (one’s own emotions)
Outward (others’ emotions)
Kantor’s 4 players
Photo by Thomas Galvez [link]
Kantor’s 4 players
Mover initiates
Follower supports
Opposer challenges
Bystander observes
Defense routines
Photo by Jônatas Cunha [link]
Vulnerability
A cautionary tale
Photo by Yin [link]
Pfeffer & Cuddy
Cuddy
Influence = warmth + strength
(Establish warmth first)
…and Top Quartile in
Leadership Effectiveness
Bottom Quartile in
Likeability…
1 in 2000
Pfeffer
Ambition
Energy
Focus
Self-knowledge
Confidence
Empathy for others
Capacity to tolerate conflict
What is support?
Photo by Peter Dutton [link] Photo by Resolute Support Media [link] Photo by Drew [link]
Consciousness
Competence
1
2 3
4
Act
Reflect
Conceptualize
Plan
Prepare & develop a
future course of action.
Identify principles that help explain the
results & update old theories.
Assess my behavior
& its consequences.
Experiential
learning
Form groups of 6
Photo by Alan [link]
Form groups of 6
Each group gets a whiteboard
What we’ve learned & how we’ll apply it
The real world
Photo by John [link]
Overused
Photo by Lauren Miller [link]
strengths
Dynamics
Interpersonal
For more:
www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html

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