6. Adolescent Perspective on Romantic Love
◦ Valentines Day
Contrast to Uganda
Ideal Spouse is One’s Best Friend
◦ And a Soul Mate
◦ French and Italians
More Deception and More Passion
Americans seek a Quixotic Paradox
◦ Trust PLUS Enduring Erotic Excitement
8. Adultery is idealized as the highest form of
love among the aristocracy
It is impossible for true love to exist amongst
people who are married to each other
Any man in love with his wife is a man so dull
that no one else can love him – Montaigne
Nothing is more impure that to love one’s
wife as if she were a mistress
9. Difficult to Fix
◦ Hormonal Imbalance
◦ More common in Women
◦ Boredom
◦ 15% success rate for couples seeking treatment
10. Separate Lives
◦ Generate More Mystery
Date Nights
◦ Build up anticipation with texting; little notes
Push the Envelope!
◦ Humans are Novelty Junkies
Jack Morin’s, The Erotic Mind
The Spouse-Sibling Dilemma
◦ Difficult to consider engaging the Mother of One’s
Children in Fantasy Role Play, BDSM & Anal Sex
Serial Monogamy
11. Cheating
◦ Always Secret
Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell
◦ Presumption that there are secrets, but retain bond
Monogamish
◦ Explorations with some disclosure
Swinging
◦ Recreational Sex done as a couple
Many variations
Polyamory
◦ Full Disclosure
◦ Tribal Bonding with a variety of sources for excitement
and erotic release
Hinweis der Redaktion
Leanna – Another area that is important in understanding cheating, is understanding the chemistry of Romantic Love. There are 3 phases of Love beginning with Lust, which is largely driven by Testosterone, the sexual hormone. The next phase is the Attraction phase where we experience high levels of dopamine, norepinephrine and intense focus on each other. This is also known as the “Love Sick” phase. The final phase of Romantic Love is the Attachment phase and as you can see in this picture, they get cuddly as they experience high levels of serotonin and oxytocin, so they feel safe in their commitment and to each other. In this phase, they may be vulnerable to engage in cheating to kick up the feelings of lust that have dissipated, or kick up dopamine love-sick phase again because their brains maybe hungry for these powerful feelings that are no longer there.