12. Communication Problems:
Stonewalling
For men, it may be a
response to their own
confusion, being
overwhelmed, or trying
to defuse the situation.
For women, it feels like
he doesn’t care and
creates excessive anxiety
… and anger.
19. Communication Styles
How you express
yourself when you’re
stressed involves both
feelings & actions.
To communicate well,
you need to know your
respective styles.
20. Communication Styles: Feelings
Under stress, we get
anxious. Some more so
than others.
Stress can make us feel
anxious, worried,
concerne, frustrated,
trapped, or stuck.
21. Communication Styles: Feelings
On a scale ranging from
1 (calm) to 10 (very nervous),
how would you rate your
own level of anxiety when
you’re stressed?
22. Communication Styles: Feelings
On a scale ranging from
1 (calm) to 10 (very nervous),
how would you rate your
mate’s level of anxiety under
stress?
23. Communication Styles: Actions
Do you seek out other
people to help you with
your stress & anxiety?
Or do you pull away from
people & try to handle it on
your own?
27. Communication Styles: Building Security
“Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.”
~ Stephen Covey
“To speak without listening,
that is folly & shame.”
~ Proverbs
“It takes two to speak the truth …
one to speak & another to hear.”
~ Henry David Thoreau
“It is a luxury to be understood.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
32. Communication Strategies:
Active Listening
Active listening is the
ability to let your partner
know you understand by
restating their message.
Good communication
depends on your ability to
carefully listen to the other
person.
35. Let’s Practice: The Speaker
Think of something you’d like more of (or
less of) in your relationship.
Turn to your mate & say, “I wish we had
more (or less) _________ in our relationship. If
my wish came true, I would feel ______.”
36. Let’s Practice: The Listener
Listen carefully to your mate. Pay attention
to both words & feelings.
Then say, “You wish we had more (or less)
_________ in our relationship. If your wish
came true, you would feel ________. Did I get
it right? Did I miss anything?”
37. Conflict Resolution
You have the best
chance of resolving
conflict when you are
able to communicate
without becoming
defensive.
38. Steps for Conflict Resolution
1. Set aside time to talk.
2. Listen to one another
using the speaker-
listener technique.
Acknowledge your
mate’s feelings.
39. Steps for Conflict Resolution
3. Clearly define the
problem.
4. Talk about your own
contribution to the
problem.
5. Discuss past attempts
to resolve the conflict.
40. Steps for Conflict Resolution
6. Brainstorm about
possible solutions.
7. Evaluate possible
solutions & likely
outcomes.
41. Steps for Conflict Resolution
8. Agree on something to
try.
9. Evaluate the outcome.
10. Reward yourselves!
42. Let me know what you think @
www.YourJoyfulMarriage.com/contact
1. What did you like best about
this presentation?
2. What was the most helpful?
3. What would you like to add or
change?
Dr. Debi Smith
43. Additional Resources
A Godly Man: Born to Be a Hero
www.DrDebiSmith.com
A Wise Woman’s Guide
to Life & Love in the Kingdom
www.AWiseWomansGuide.com