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Who pays on the first date?




http://www.flickr.com/photos/bigbirdz/4506598157/
Thank you for coming...
There are only 3 positions...*

Male pays                     Go Dutch                         Female pays




  100% bill                    50% 50% split                           100% bill



  *For the purpose of the next 4mins, we will only refer to dating within a hetrosexual context
                                   However we would like to explore homosexual dating later
What 100 random people think?




Survey: completed in 19 mins, Nov 15 2011
What do we mean by first date?




http://www.flickr.com/photos/id-iom/3919531022
The male pays...




http://www.flickr.com/photos/rockygirl/109425823
It shows your not tight with your money,
 but it doesn't mean she's a gold digger



http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/5839313092
You won't see her again,
it's not about the money, it's about worth



http://www.flickr.com/photos/moregoodfoundation/5138616947
It shows you have the instinct to provide
It shows a woman that you will look after
                 her



http://www.flickr.com/photos/moregoodfoundation/5139228340
If you asked her out on a date then it
          makes sense you pay



http://www.flickr.com/photos/ittoku/6034778598
It shows you're a gentleman that you have
   standards and you know how to treat a
                  woman


 http://www.flickr.com/photos/phinphonephotos/312062938
It shows you can lead a relationship -
     don't mistake it for controlling a
               relationship



http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/245769695
Go dutch...




http://www.flickr.com/photos/sfj/3495836366/
Evolution and Equality




http://www.flickr.com/photos/pedrovezini/4718057173
“God gave men brains larger than dogs so
  they wouldn't hump women's legs at
       cocktail parties” - Ruth Libby




 Hackers 1995
Not making the other person feel
       uncomfitable or belittled




http://www.flickr.com/photos/legsagain/4752764872
Dating double standards

...a modern girl will end the evening with the Offering, an
insincere bid to help pay the check. "They make like they
are heading into their bag after a meal, but it is a
dodge. They know you will stop them before a credit
card can be drawn. If you don't, they hold it against
you..."
          http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?pagewanted=all
Money shouldn't be the most
      impressive thing about you

“...I honestly think overly expensive dinners that are just
aim to impress and show no thought on the guy’s part are
horrible first dates. It has the potential to turn a good girl
into a gold digger (hmmm … I’ve never run up the bill on a
person before … what better place to try it with these $80
entrees). It all just feels so … so … fake"
                        http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/10/09/worst-first-dates/
Respect for each other and your unique
roles in any relationship which happens




http://www.flickr.com/photos/instantvantage/4853287010
“What do you do...?
Oh... I heard they don't pay very well...?”
“Love is deeper, don’t cheapen it”


        Reasonable reasons why...

        The    man    haven't got it
        The    man    has got obligations
        The    man    is saving up for something
        The    man    is conservative with his money

                        ...ignorant and destructive mindset?
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/09/22/money-talks/
The female pays...???




http://www.flickr.com/photos/sashafatcat/3613417222/
What do you do?




http://www.flickr.com/photos/jacobrixphotography/5754537100/
Many more questions...




  Is it any different in a same sex dates?
            Who should ask who?
          First time dating no-no's?
         First time dating problems?
Politics around having sex on the first date?

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The politics of paying on the first date?

  • 1. Who pays on the first date? http://www.flickr.com/photos/bigbirdz/4506598157/
  • 2. Thank you for coming...
  • 3. There are only 3 positions...* Male pays Go Dutch Female pays 100% bill 50% 50% split 100% bill *For the purpose of the next 4mins, we will only refer to dating within a hetrosexual context However we would like to explore homosexual dating later
  • 4. What 100 random people think? Survey: completed in 19 mins, Nov 15 2011
  • 5. What do we mean by first date? http://www.flickr.com/photos/id-iom/3919531022
  • 7. It shows your not tight with your money, but it doesn't mean she's a gold digger http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/5839313092
  • 8. You won't see her again, it's not about the money, it's about worth http://www.flickr.com/photos/moregoodfoundation/5138616947
  • 9. It shows you have the instinct to provide It shows a woman that you will look after her http://www.flickr.com/photos/moregoodfoundation/5139228340
  • 10. If you asked her out on a date then it makes sense you pay http://www.flickr.com/photos/ittoku/6034778598
  • 11. It shows you're a gentleman that you have standards and you know how to treat a woman http://www.flickr.com/photos/phinphonephotos/312062938
  • 12. It shows you can lead a relationship - don't mistake it for controlling a relationship http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/245769695
  • 15. “God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties” - Ruth Libby Hackers 1995
  • 16. Not making the other person feel uncomfitable or belittled http://www.flickr.com/photos/legsagain/4752764872
  • 17. Dating double standards ...a modern girl will end the evening with the Offering, an insincere bid to help pay the check. "They make like they are heading into their bag after a meal, but it is a dodge. They know you will stop them before a credit card can be drawn. If you don't, they hold it against you..." http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?pagewanted=all
  • 18. Money shouldn't be the most impressive thing about you “...I honestly think overly expensive dinners that are just aim to impress and show no thought on the guy’s part are horrible first dates. It has the potential to turn a good girl into a gold digger (hmmm … I’ve never run up the bill on a person before … what better place to try it with these $80 entrees). It all just feels so … so … fake" http://www.singleblackmale.org/2009/10/09/worst-first-dates/
  • 19. Respect for each other and your unique roles in any relationship which happens http://www.flickr.com/photos/instantvantage/4853287010
  • 20. “What do you do...? Oh... I heard they don't pay very well...?”
  • 21. “Love is deeper, don’t cheapen it” Reasonable reasons why... The man haven't got it The man has got obligations The man is saving up for something The man is conservative with his money ...ignorant and destructive mindset? http://www.singleblackmale.org/2008/09/22/money-talks/
  • 23. What do you do? http://www.flickr.com/photos/jacobrixphotography/5754537100/
  • 24. Many more questions... Is it any different in a same sex dates? Who should ask who? First time dating no-no's? First time dating problems? Politics around having sex on the first date?