Script mouse annotated

1. Annotated Script
Key
Internal ___
External ___
Location ___
Day ___
Character ___
Props ___
Costume ___
Vehicles ___

2. FADE IN:
INT. MUSIC PRACTICE STUDIO - DAY
Asian A level student [SWEETAH] nervously stands leaning
against the wall of a practice room, holding a jumble of
papers. The door to the room is partially open. YOUNG
ADULT MALE BAND MEMBERS are tinkering around with their
instruments.
Sweetah, engrossingly listens with enthusiasm to the
unidentified miss-mash of music. Suddenly without warning,
a YOUNG ADULT MALE [LOGAN] bursts through the door, making
Sweetah jump. The unexpected encounter forces Sweetah to
drop her papers into a scattered pile on the floor.
Embarrassed, Sweetah nervously smiles at Logan. Logan
slowly runs his eyes down Sweetah’s body.
SWEETAH
Oh, I’m sorry Logan.
Logan bends down to gather up the loose scattered
paper, staring at Sweetah’s ankles.
LOGAN
Ah Sweetah, don’t be.
Logan slowly gets back up and hands the pile of paper to
a nervous Sweetah.
SWEETAH
Er thanks. Er have you had a
chance to view the song I wrote?
Logan tenderly smiles at her.
LOGAN
Sort of, I’m off for a smoke,
join me.
Logan heads in the direction of the main door and
Sweetah eagerly follows him.
EXT. MUSIC PRACTICE STUDIO COURTYARD - DAY
Logan walks briskly towards the bench and then immediately
halts. He stares at Sweetah who is now in front of him.
Continuing to admiringly stare at her, he draws a lighter and
a packet of cigarettes out from his jacket pocket. Takes one
cigarette out of the packet and holds it to his mouth, whilst
replacing the packet back into his pocket. He then lights the
cigarette and draws in his first puff. Smoothly, he blows the
smoke out and offers the cigarette to Sweetah.
(CONTINUED)

3. CONTINUED: 2.
She looks intensively at the cigarette and then
hesitantly back to Logan.
SWEETAH
I don’t smoke, thanks.
LOGAN
(Suggestively)
Try it, you may even enjoy it.
Gingerly Sweetah holds out her hand to receive the
cigarette. She takes it to her mouth and tries to draw it
in, but the smoke is choking and she coughs with
embarrassment and offers the cigarette back. She observes
Logan’s slight grin as he retrieves it back. With his
other hand he gently touches her arm, in an attempt to
console her.
SWEETAH
(Confidently)
My song, what do you think?
LOGAN
(Politely)
Yeah, OK, needs some work
though You free now?
SWEETAH
Yes, but we can’t go back to
mine, my dad wouldn’t understand.
Logan eyes Sweetah up and down and gestures her to follow
him, as he stumps out the cigarette with his foot.
LOGAN
I know somewhere, come.
Sweetah smiles and the two set off.
EXT. DESERTED ALLEYWAY - DAY
Walking down some stairs leading to a deserted alleyway,
Logan stops and discreetly removes a small, unidentified
package out from his jacket pocket. He takes one of the
pills out of the package and offers the other to Sweetah.
Taken by surprise, Sweetah takes a huge breath of fresh
air. She steps back and shakes her head, whilst looking
deep into Logan’s widening eyes as he alluringly licks his
lips. She becomes emotionless.

4. 3.
Logan re-offers the pill to her with an intimidating and
hard stare, almost suggesting it is not an option to
refuse. She slowly and hesitantly obliges and swallows it
whole in an attempt to get rid of it immediately.
EXT. CAR YARD GATES - DAY
The couple happily walk along a rough alley road,
until Logan halts at a large purple gate. He furiously
and violently rattles the door.
SWEETAH
Hey, what’s the problem?
LOGAN
It’s locked, it’s never locked.
SWEETAH
Who’s lockup is it?
LOGAN
Just a mates.
Seeing his anguish Sweetah removes a hairpin from her
hair and twiddles it into the padlock.
Delightedly, Sweetah looks directly at Logan as the
padlock comes away in her hand.
Logan opens the door to the yard and beckons Sweetah
to follow him.
Hesitantly. Sweetah delicately places her hand in
Logan’s and allows him to lead her into the yard.
INT. CAR YARD - DAY
Logan leads Sweetah through a maze of classic cars. She
cautiously observes as he eagerly attempts to open varies
cars. She sighs with relief as they are all locked.
Anxiously, Logan tries to open the back door of a old
ford zodiac. It freely opens and he sighs with relief.
Immediately, Sweetah begins to panic as Logan hastily
jumps into the car, urging her to join him. For a brief
moment, she hesitates, but complies with his request.

5. 4.
INT. CAR SEAT - DAY
Sweetah feels Logan’s tender arms embrace her body as
they sink back into the seat, sharing a loving kiss.
Preoccupied the couple do not hear or notice the MALE
OWNER of the yard turn up.
EXT.CAR YARD GATES - DAY
Bewilderingly, the yard owner observes his padlock on the
floor, and the door to his yard slightly ajar. Furiously,
he enters his yard.
INT. CAR YARD - DAY
The owner scornfully, scans his yard, looking for signs
of disturbance. He sighs with relief and then rushes to
his CCTV Station.
Curiously, and observantly he scans the CCTV status, noticing
that nothing has been disturbed. He then closes the door and
begins to make a cup of tea in the kitchen area.
INT. CAR SEAT - DAY
Logan becomes more sexually persistent towards Sweetah, as
he starts to run his hands up the outside of her right
thigh. A stressed Sweetah, pushes him off of her and
emerges to a sitting position.
SWEETAH
Have you got a...
LOGAN
No, do I need one?
Anxiously and inconsiderately Logan pulls Sweetah
towards him.
SWEETAH
Well yeah.
Angrily, Logan unwraps his arms from around Sweetah’s
waiste and quietly exits the car.
LOGAN
Alright, I’ll be right back.

6. 5.
INT. CAR YARD - DAY
Logan rushes out of the yard. Neither, the owner of the
yard or Logan notice one another.
INT. CAR SEAT - DAY
Sweetah sinks back into the car seat, to await Logan’s
return. Staring into space, she holds her head as her
eyes begin to roll. Her body then instantly flops into a
laying position, as she passes out.
INT.CAR YARD - DAT
The yard owner opens the kitchen door and enters the yard.
He casually makes his way passed the cars and enters a
work garage.
EXT. YARD ALLEYWAY - DAY
Logan stops in his tracks. He notices an unusual transit
van. He approaches it with caution, but intriguingly tries
the handle. The door opens and Logan jumps in. He rummages
around in the glove box, looking desperately for a condom.
INT. CAR YARD GARAGE - DAY
The yard owner interestingly observes his CCTV monitor.
His eyes widen and his face nearly touches the screen as
he notices his van door open and the body of a male
(Logan) rummaging around inside, just outside the yard.
Raging with anger, he grabs a large spanner that is
casually laying on the bench and charges out of the garage
and the yard.
EXT. YARD ALLEYWAY - DAY
YARD OWNER
(Aggressively)
Oi, you.
Logan immediately looks up, observes the middle aged
mean looking thug.
The yard owner sharply stares at Logan.
Hastily Logan flees from the van, removing his eye contact
away from the man, as he begins to run down the alleyway.
The yard owner, begins to chase him.

7. 6.
INT. CAR YARD - DAY
Puffing and panting the yard owner walks through his
yard and into the same lockup garage.
INT. CAR YARD GARAGE - DAY
The yard owner, begins to work on one of his classic cars
INT. CAR SEAT - DAY
Sweetah slowly lifts her head, blinks her eyes and
scrunches her face. She turns her head to notice that the
door to one of the lockup garages is open. The light is on.
A large male (yard owner) figure is inside walking around.
She sinks back into the seat, to immediately conceal
her identity.
She gathers up her belongings, whilst popping her head
slightly up, to observe the mans whereabouts. She can hear
banging noises, but he is now visually out of her view.
Slowly and quietly, Sweetah opens the car door. She pauses
to re-observe the mans actions. He is not in sight.
Frantically, she exits the car, quietly closing the
door ajar.
INT. CAR YARD - DAY
In an attempt not to be discovered she dashes to the
shadows of the yard, then immediately out through the gate.
INT. PRACTICE STUDIO - DAY
Sweetah opens the door to the Practice studio, makes her
way along the corridor to the practice room.
The door to the studio room is partially open and Sweetah
discreetly, peeps in. She sees Logan gently strumming various
chords on his guitar, whilst laughing and embarking in light
conversation with other members of the band.
She steps aside, her eyes indicate a sense of deep
thought, as she leans against the wall.
FADE OUT.
THE END