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2009
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WhoamI?
Learning to Understand Ourselves
The Kindergarten child enters a new classroom environment,
encountering the new faces of children and teachers. As
facilitator the teacher becomes aware of the process and
journey through which the individual identity of each child
will need to be celebrated and shared, in order for the
group identity or class community to emerge, develop and
grow. The individual child needs to be given many
opportunities to discover his or her own identity to enable
him or her to feel comfortable to share with the group. We
were determined to continue on this path of identity,
because we knew that the young child’s thoughts are
continually evolving. We wanted to pursue the notion of what
it is to be somebody. We could see the children’s faces. We
were able to identify a sense of self but what was that
child really like? A sense of self has to develop gradually.
Being yourself is about knowing who you are. Fortunately
time is a component that will play a huge role in the path
of this investigation that we have chosen.
Through	
  this	
  inquiry	
  we	
  understand	
  how	
  we	
  have	
  a	
  role	
  to	
  play	
  in	
  our	
  own	
  physical,	
  mental,	
  social	
  and	
  spiritual	
  health	
  and	
  
contribute	
  to	
  that	
  of	
  others.	
  Each	
  person	
  is	
  dynamic	
  and	
  through	
  cultural	
  experiences	
  develops	
  his	
  or	
  her	
  own	
  set	
  of	
  values	
  and	
  
view	
  of	
  the	
  world.	
  We	
  will	
  explore	
  the	
  idea	
  that	
  individuals	
  are	
  interconnected.
Through	
  this	
  inquiry	
  we	
  understand	
  how	
  we	
  have	
  a	
  role	
  to	
  play	
  in	
  our	
  own	
  physical,	
  mental,	
  social	
  and	
  spiritual	
  health	
  and	
  
contribute	
  to	
  that	
  of	
  others.	
  Each	
  person	
  is	
  dynamic	
  and	
  through	
  cultural	
  experiences	
  develops	
  his	
  or	
  her	
  own	
  set	
  of	
  values	
  and	
  
view	
  of	
  the	
  world.	
  We	
  will	
  explore	
  the	
  idea	
  that	
  individuals	
  are	
  interconnected.
Through	
  this	
  inquiry	
  we	
  understand	
  how	
  we	
  have	
  a	
  role	
  to	
  play	
  in	
  our	
  own	
  physical,	
  mental,	
  social	
  and	
  spiritual	
  health	
  and	
  
contribute	
  to	
  that	
  of	
  others.	
  Each	
  person	
  is	
  dynamic	
  and	
  through	
  cultural	
  experiences	
  develops	
  his	
  or	
  her	
  own	
  set	
  of	
  values	
  and	
  
view	
  of	
  the	
  world.	
  We	
  will	
  explore	
  the	
  idea	
  that	
  individuals	
  are	
  interconnected.
Enduring	
  Understanding:
Each	
  person	
  is	
  unique	
  but	
  we	
  
all	
  share	
  things	
  in	
  common.
Compelling	
  Ques5on:
•How	
  can	
  I	
  understand	
  more	
  about	
  myself?
•	
  How	
  do	
  my	
  experiences	
  make	
  me	
  unique?
•	
  How	
  are	
  we	
  part	
  of	
  each	
  others’	
  stories?
Concepts:
RelaDng	
  -­‐	
  Listening	
  and	
  Empathy
Resourcefulness	
  -­‐	
  CapitalisaDon,	
  Making	
  links,	
  
Imagining
“To	
  give	
  oneself	
  an	
  iden/ty	
  is	
  a	
  long	
  and	
  /ring	
  process.	
  It	
  is	
  like	
  being	
  born	
  a	
  second	
  /me.	
  It	
  is	
  the	
  need	
  of	
  each	
  
one	
  of	
  us	
  to	
  give	
  ourselves	
  a	
  face,	
  a	
  body,	
  gestures,	
  ac/ons,	
  thoughts	
  words	
  and	
  imagina/on.	
  It	
  is	
  the	
  sen/ment	
  of	
  
being	
  that	
  dis/nguishes	
  us	
  from	
  others,	
  in	
  order	
  to	
  recognise	
  and	
  be	
  recognised,	
  to	
  recognise	
  ourselves	
  in	
  others	
  
and	
  in	
  others	
  to	
  find	
  a	
  part	
  of	
  ourselves.	
  It	
  is	
  in	
  fact	
  a	
  dialogue,	
  confronta/on	
  and	
  discussion	
  with	
  the	
  other	
  ways	
  
of	
  being	
  and	
  thinking,	
  that	
  the	
  image	
  of	
  oneself	
  takes	
  on	
  awareness	
  and	
  defines	
  itself.”
Loris	
  Malaguzzi
Looking within....
I	
  invited	
  the	
  children	
  to	
  look	
  into	
  
themselves,	
  to	
  try	
  and	
  form	
  a	
  
deeper	
  understanding	
  of	
  who	
  they	
  
are,	
  to	
  listen	
  carefully	
  to	
  their	
  
rhythms.	
  The	
  children	
  bravely	
  
accepted	
  and	
  offered	
  profound	
  
insights	
  into	
  their	
  feelings	
  and	
  
sense	
  of	
  being.	
  There	
  was	
  trust	
  in	
  
the	
  recognition	
  that	
  every	
  
individual	
  is	
  whole,	
  capable,	
  wise	
  
and	
  responsible	
  for	
  their	
  response	
  
to	
  life.	
  That	
  in	
  being	
  compassionate	
  
with	
  ourselves	
  and	
  others	
  we	
  can	
  
move	
  through	
  life	
  doing	
  the	
  best	
  
we	
  can.	
  In	
  paying	
  attention	
  to	
  the	
  
here	
  and	
  now,	
  we	
  discover	
  that	
  
things	
  change,	
  moment	
  to	
  moment.
What are your ideas
about feelings?
I	
  was	
  touched	
  by	
  the	
  level	
  of	
  depth	
  
to	
  their	
  responses.	
  The	
  children	
  
began	
  by	
  sugges<ng	
  some	
  of	
  the	
  
feelings	
  that	
  they	
  have,	
  
“I	
  can	
  feel	
  happy.”
“I	
  can	
  feel	
  angry	
  and	
  sad.”
“If	
  I	
  am	
  nice	
  to	
  my	
  friend,	
  they	
  feel	
  
nice	
  and	
  I	
  feel	
  nice.”
“On	
  the	
  bicycle	
  I	
  feel	
  happy	
  going	
  
super	
  fast.”
“I	
  feel	
  happy	
  when	
  I	
  see	
  rainbows	
  
and	
  bu=erflies.”
“Building	
  with	
  magnets	
  makes	
  me	
  
happy.”
As	
  the	
  children	
  iden<fied	
  different	
  
feelings,	
  I	
  was	
  surprised	
  at	
  how	
  
they	
  were	
  already	
  aware	
  of	
  the	
  
extent	
  that	
  we	
  are	
  connected	
  to	
  
others	
  through	
  our	
  emo<ons.	
  There	
  
seemed	
  to	
  be	
  some	
  understanding	
  
that	
  the	
  way	
  other	
  people	
  feel	
  can	
  
affect	
  the	
  way	
  we	
  feel	
  and	
  also	
  that	
  
we	
  can	
  affect	
  the	
  feelings	
  of	
  others.	
  
“I	
  was	
  happy	
  because	
  I	
  had	
  friends.	
  
My	
  friends	
  help	
  me.	
  We	
  play	
  
together	
  and	
  take	
  turns.”
“Monta	
  make	
  me	
  happy.”
“Be	
  kind	
  to	
  your	
  friends,	
  it	
  makes	
  
me	
  feel	
  happy.	
  And	
  if	
  they	
  are	
  
feeling	
  sad	
  and	
  blue	
  it	
  makes	
  them	
  
feel	
  be=er.”
“You	
  can	
  share	
  and	
  be	
  nice,	
  it	
  
makes	
  me	
  feel	
  good	
  and	
  happy	
  and	
  
kind.”
“It	
  makes	
  me	
  sad	
  when	
  people	
  are	
  
sad.”
The	
  conversa<on	
  developed	
  into	
  sharing	
  theories	
  about	
  
what	
  is	
  going	
  on	
  inside	
  you	
  when	
  you	
  experience	
  
different	
  feelings.	
  I	
  find	
  it	
  fascina<ng	
  to	
  explore	
  ideas	
  
about	
  the	
  invisible	
  and	
  challenging	
  children	
  to	
  consider	
  
what	
  can	
  not	
  be	
  seen,	
  thus	
  ac<va<ng	
  the	
  meaning-­‐
making	
  competencies	
  of	
  children	
  as	
  a	
  basis	
  of	
  learning.	
  
“It	
  comes	
  from	
  our	
  brains	
  and	
  hearts.”
“Your	
  brain	
  gets	
  the	
  idea	
  and	
  then	
  you	
  tell	
  your	
  heart	
  
and	
  then	
  you	
  say.”
“If	
  you	
  are	
  sad	
  all	
  of	
  your	
  body	
  is	
  sad.”
“From	
  whole	
  inside	
  your	
  body.”
“They	
  work	
  together	
  as	
  a	
  team,	
  your	
  brain	
  and	
  your	
  
heart.”
“The	
  blood	
  turns	
  red	
  when	
  you	
  are	
  angry.”
“The	
  blood	
  is	
  red	
  and	
  helps	
  you	
  to	
  think	
  and	
  feel	
  angry	
  
or	
  sad	
  or	
  happy.”
“The	
  heart	
  gets	
  black	
  when	
  you	
  are	
  angry.”
The	
  children	
  made	
  graphic	
  representa<ons	
  of	
  their	
  
theories	
  and	
  shared	
  their	
  drawings.	
  For	
  some	
  of	
  the	
  
children,	
  it	
  is	
  easier	
  to	
  express	
  their	
  thinking	
  through	
  
drawing	
  rather	
  than	
  verbally.	
  For	
  some	
  children	
  drawing	
  
helps	
  them	
  to	
  clarify	
  their	
  ideas	
  as	
  they	
  find	
  ways	
  to	
  
illustrate	
  their	
  ideas	
  on	
  paper.
“The	
  heart	
  and	
  the	
  brain	
  makes	
  you	
  smile.”
“Inside	
  it’s	
  like	
  a	
  volcano	
  
exploding.	
  Hot	
  lava	
  and	
  
rocks	
  coming	
  when	
  you	
  are	
  
geKng	
  mad.”
“Hugging	
  makes	
  me	
  happy.	
  The	
  brain	
  and	
  the	
  heart	
  
work	
  together.	
  They	
  are	
  a	
  team.”
‘When	
  I	
  feel	
  happy,	
  it’s	
  like	
  flying.”
“Feeling	
  mad.	
  Big	
  sharp	
  teeth.	
  The	
  bones	
  and	
  the	
  heart	
  
are	
  geKng	
  ready	
  to	
  punch.	
  They	
  are	
  angry	
  too.	
  Tornado	
  
in	
  my	
  brain.	
  Steam	
  is	
  coming	
  out	
  of	
  my	
  ears.	
  My	
  head	
  is	
  
almost	
  exploding.”
“I	
  have	
  a	
  volcano	
  in	
  me	
  when	
  I	
  am	
  angry.	
  I	
  have	
  a	
  
volcano	
  in	
  my	
  belly.”
“When	
  I’m	
  happy	
  it’s	
  like	
  I	
  have	
  rainbows	
  and	
  colour	
  
dots	
  in	
  my	
  body.	
  It’s	
  like	
  the	
  sun	
  is	
  shining.”
“My	
  brain	
  goes	
  black	
  when	
  I	
  am	
  sad.”
“When	
  I’m	
  angry	
  ...	
  I’m	
  drawing	
  many	
  brains	
  because	
  
they	
  are	
  bouncing	
  around,	
  like	
  my	
  brain	
  is	
  going	
  nuts.	
  
I’m	
  doing	
  my	
  face	
  red.”
In	
  pausing	
  to	
  think	
  about	
  joyful	
  events	
  or	
  unpleasant	
  
events,	
  in	
  paying	
  aDen<on	
  to	
  events	
  in	
  daily	
  life,	
  what	
  
happens	
  in	
  your	
  minds	
  ,	
  thoughts,	
  hearts	
  and	
  bodies,	
  the	
  
children	
  are	
  becoming	
  more	
  completely	
  aware	
  of	
  the	
  
current	
  feeling	
  state	
  or	
  emo<on.	
  The	
  children	
  are	
  really	
  
feeling	
  their	
  feelings.	
  
Anger....
In	
  our	
  discussions,	
  many	
  of	
  the	
  children	
  talked	
  about	
  
angry	
  feelings.	
  In	
  response	
  to	
  these	
  acknowledgements	
  
of	
  less	
  comfortable	
  feelings,	
  we	
  read,	
  ‘Angry	
  Dragon’	
  by	
  
Thierry	
  Robberecht.	
  I	
  selected	
  this	
  book	
  as	
  it	
  shows	
  the	
  
power	
  of	
  our	
  emo<ons	
  and	
  how	
  we	
  can	
  be	
  overwhelmed	
  
and	
  transformed	
  by	
  how	
  we	
  feel.	
  The	
  children	
  made	
  
thoughFul	
  comments	
  about	
  the	
  main	
  character	
  in	
  the	
  
story,	
  a	
  young	
  boy	
  who	
  feels	
  his	
  anger	
  rising,	
  building	
  
inside	
  him	
  and	
  turning	
  him	
  into	
  a	
  giant	
  dragon	
  and	
  then	
  
how	
  the	
  boy	
  is	
  soothed	
  and	
  the	
  fire	
  inside	
  of	
  him	
  
dissipates.	
  The	
  metaphor	
  of	
  the	
  dragon	
  inside	
  connected	
  
well	
  with	
  the	
  children’s	
  descrip<ons	
  of	
  a	
  volcano	
  in	
  their	
  
stomach	
  that	
  exploded	
  when	
  they	
  are	
  angry	
  or	
  mad.	
  
Anxiety...
The	
  children	
  bravely	
  discussed	
  events	
  that	
  they	
  feel	
  
worried	
  about,	
  
“When	
  I	
  was	
  first	
  coming	
  to	
  school	
  I	
  felt	
  excited	
  and	
  
nervous.	
  Excited	
  to	
  see	
  my	
  new	
  class.	
  Nervous	
  there	
  
might	
  be	
  new	
  friends,	
  they	
  might	
  not	
  like	
  me.”
“I	
  worry	
  about	
  the	
  thunder,	
  lightening,	
  noises,	
  dreams.	
  It	
  
scares	
  me	
  when	
  it	
  thunders	
  and	
  lightening.	
  When	
  I	
  splash	
  
in	
  the	
  puddles	
  I	
  feel	
  be=er.”
“I	
  worry	
  about	
  the	
  dark	
  and	
  lightening.	
  When	
  it’s	
  dark	
  I	
  
can’t	
  see.	
  I	
  am	
  scared	
  of	
  the	
  lightening.	
  I	
  need	
  to	
  go	
  to	
  my	
  
mum	
  and	
  she	
  hug	
  me	
  and	
  kiss	
  me.	
  SomeRmes	
  I	
  go	
  there	
  
to	
  sleep.”
“I’m	
  worried	
  about	
  when	
  me	
  dad	
  takes	
  me	
  to	
  school	
  and	
  
he	
  has	
  to	
  go	
  and	
  I	
  am	
  staying	
  alone	
  in	
  school	
  unRl	
  2	
  
o’clock.”
“I’m	
  scared	
  of	
  my	
  mum	
  and	
  my	
  sister	
  going	
  somewhere	
  in	
  
the	
  car.	
  My	
  mum	
  and	
  my	
  sister	
  going	
  to	
  everywhere	
  but	
  
not	
  school,	
  I	
  am	
  at	
  school.	
  I	
  think	
  it	
  will	
  always	
  be	
  a	
  long	
  
Rme	
  but	
  actually	
  it	
  isn’t	
  a	
  long	
  Rme.”
“When	
  my	
  bus	
  is	
  here,	
  I	
  don’t	
  have	
  any	
  Rme	
  to	
  hug	
  my	
  
mum	
  and	
  dad.	
  I’m	
  sad	
  when	
  my	
  mum	
  and	
  dad	
  is	
  gone.”
“When	
  I	
  am	
  asleep	
  alone,	
  I	
  worry	
  about	
  a	
  monster	
  saying,	
  
‘I	
  am	
  going	
  to	
  eat	
  you!’	
  When	
  my	
  mum	
  comes,	
  when	
  my	
  
mum	
  sleeps	
  with	
  me,	
  I	
  feel	
  be=er.”
“I’m	
  scary,	
  I’m	
  worry	
  lightening	
  go	
  to	
  my	
  body.”
lorem ipsum dolor met
set quam nunc parum
When	
  listening	
  to	
  some	
  of	
  the	
  
children	
  describe	
  what	
  they	
  do	
  to	
  
feel	
  beDer,	
  it	
  seems	
  to	
  be	
  important	
  
that	
  we	
  help	
  children	
  to	
  feel	
  
connected	
  to	
  parents,	
  teachers	
  and	
  
caregivers	
  and	
  to	
  provide	
  a	
  stable	
  
and	
  happy	
  environment	
  where	
  
children	
  can	
  be	
  comforted	
  when	
  
they	
  are	
  overloaded	
  with	
  stress.	
  
These	
  discussions	
  further	
  reinforce	
  
the	
  vital	
  importance	
  of	
  
rela<onships.	
  It	
  serves	
  as	
  a	
  reminder	
  
about	
  the	
  way	
  we	
  get	
  along	
  with	
  
children	
  and	
  how	
  this	
  influences	
  
them.	
  The	
  environment	
  must	
  be	
  set	
  
up	
  to	
  interface	
  the	
  cogni<ve	
  realm	
  
and	
  the	
  realm	
  of	
  rela<onship	
  and	
  
affec<vity.	
  My	
  hope	
  is	
  that	
  over	
  
<me,	
  we	
  can	
  provide	
  a	
  safe	
  context	
  
for	
  children	
  to	
  learn	
  to	
  understand	
  
and	
  love	
  themselves	
  and	
  to	
  develop	
  
empathe<c	
  understanding	
  of	
  
others.
“Holding	
  hands	
  with	
  my	
  friends	
  
makes	
  me	
  happy	
  again.”
“I	
  outside	
  and	
  play,	
  I	
  feels	
  good	
  
again.”
“When	
  you	
  are	
  angry	
  you	
  can	
  take	
  a	
  
deep	
  breath.”
“Going	
  on	
  the	
  slide	
  makes	
  me	
  happy	
  
again.”
“I	
  pretend	
  I’m	
  on	
  a	
  cloud.”
“Holding	
  hands	
  with	
  Milo	
  makes	
  me	
  
feel	
  be=er.”
“A	
  sunny	
  day	
  makes	
  me	
  feel	
  be=er.”	
  
“I	
  close	
  my	
  eyes	
  and	
  imagine	
  a	
  
happy	
  feeling,	
  like	
  excited	
  for	
  
something	
  like	
  a	
  birthday,	
  my	
  
birthday	
  or	
  my	
  friends	
  birthday.”
“Making	
  funny	
  faces	
  makes	
  me	
  
laugh	
  again.”
“Yes,	
  laughing	
  makes	
  me	
  feel	
  
be=er.”
It	
  was	
  interes<ng	
  to	
  me	
  that	
  many	
  
of	
  the	
  sugges<ons	
  from	
  the	
  children	
  
about	
  how	
  to	
  manage	
  stress	
  
seemed	
  somewhat	
  similar	
  to	
  adult	
  
versions,	
  including,	
  
•	
  deep	
  breathing-­‐taking	
  long	
  slow	
  
deep	
  breathes,	
  
•	
  autosugges<on	
  -­‐	
  dropping	
  into	
  the	
  
mind	
  key	
  phrases	
  or	
  images	
  that	
  
induce	
  a	
  sense	
  of	
  physical	
  
relaxa<on,	
  
•	
  physical	
  contact	
  of	
  a	
  loved	
  one
•	
  physical	
  presence	
  of	
  a	
  loved	
  one
•	
  nature
•	
  exercise	
  or	
  physicality	
  
Managing our worries...
How can we manage our anxieties and worries?
Holding hands with my friends makes me happy again.
If go outside and play feels good again.
More time for playing is good.
Being in my house makes me feel better.
Doing somersaults makes me happy again
I think about flowers and rainbows and I feel better
Holding hands with Milo makes me feel better.
Thinking about hearts makes me happy again.
Being with my friends makes me happy again.
A sunny day makes me feel better.
When I am angry I take deep breathes.
I pretend to be a ninja when I am angry.
When you are angry you can take a deep breath.
Going on the slide makes me happy again.
Being with Nanako and friends make me happy.
Being upside down makes me feel better.
I pretend I’m on a cloud.
I think about hearts and butterflies and I don’t feel sad any more .
Laughter...
Many	
  of	
  the	
  children	
  suggested	
  that	
  laughing	
  makes	
  
them	
  feel	
  beDer	
  if	
  they	
  are	
  feeling	
  angry	
  or	
  sad.	
  They	
  
seem	
  to	
  have	
  a	
  sense	
  that	
  when	
  laughter	
  is	
  shared,	
  it	
  
binds	
  people	
  together	
  and	
  increases	
  happiness	
  and	
  
in<macy.	
  Humor	
  is	
  infec<ous.	
  The	
  sound	
  of	
  roaring	
  
laughter	
  is	
  far	
  more	
  contagious	
  than	
  any	
  cough,	
  sniffle,	
  or	
  
sneeze.	
  I	
  decided	
  to	
  discuss	
  laughter	
  with	
  the	
  groups	
  to	
  
find	
  out	
  more	
  about	
  the	
  children’s	
  ideas.	
  
“Every	
  body	
  laughs.”
“I	
  laugh	
  at	
  jokes.”
“Audra	
  is	
  sRcking	
  her	
  tongue	
  out	
  at	
  me	
  and	
  it	
  makes	
  me	
  
laugh.”
“It’s	
  like	
  you’re	
  doing	
  funny	
  faces	
  and	
  saying	
  silly	
  words	
  
and	
  you	
  laugh	
  a	
  lot	
  a	
  lot.”
“Playing	
  soccer	
  with	
  Makoto	
  make	
  me	
  laugh.”
“When	
  my	
  dad	
  blows	
  a	
  raspberry	
  on	
  my	
  tummy.	
  It	
  Rckles	
  
and	
  I	
  laugh	
  .	
  He	
  does	
  it	
  at	
  bed	
  Rme.”
“When	
  I	
  Rckle	
  on	
  my	
  foot	
  it	
  really	
  Rckles.”
“When	
  I	
  got	
  Rckled	
  under	
  my	
  arm	
  it	
  really	
  
Rckles.”
Even	
  talking	
  about	
  laughing	
  caused	
  much	
  
laughter.	
  Children	
  shared	
  jokes	
  with	
  
spontaneity	
  and	
  	
  made	
  silly	
  faces	
  to	
  
encourage	
  more	
  laughter.
“I	
  like	
  to	
  make	
  people	
  laugh	
  by	
  saying	
  silly	
  
things.”
“I	
  like	
  people	
  to	
  laugh	
  and	
  be	
  happy.”
Some	
  of	
  the	
  children	
  really	
  enjoy	
  making	
  their	
  friends	
  
laugh	
  and	
  have	
  a	
  desire	
  for	
  others	
  to	
  be	
  happy.	
  We	
  
laughed	
  together	
  as	
  a	
  group,	
  beginning	
  with	
  fake	
  
laughter	
  that	
  quickly	
  became	
  contagious	
  and	
  real,	
  just	
  
hearing	
  laughter	
  seems	
  to	
  prime	
  your	
  brain	
  and	
  readies	
  
you	
  to	
  smile	
  and	
  join	
  in	
  the	
  fun.	
  An	
  emo<onal	
  sharing	
  
that	
  has	
  the	
  capacity	
  to	
  build	
  strong	
  and	
  las<ng	
  
rela<onship	
  bonds,	
  also	
  contribu<ng	
  joy,	
  vitality,	
  and	
  
resilience.
The	
  feelings	
  were	
  so	
  strong,	
  we	
  were	
  moved	
  to	
  compose	
  
poetry	
  about	
  laughter.
Frustration....
Many	
  of	
  the	
  children	
  described	
  frustra<on	
  at	
  being	
  
rushed	
  or	
  not	
  having	
  enough	
  <me.	
  The	
  children	
  came	
  
to	
  the	
  conclusion	
  that	
  it	
  does	
  make	
  them	
  angry	
  or	
  
frustrated	
  when	
  they	
  have	
  to	
  stop	
  something	
  or	
  they	
  
are	
  interrupted,	
  but	
  they	
  understood	
  that	
  it	
  is	
  usually	
  
because	
  their	
  mums	
  cared	
  for	
  them	
  and	
  wanted	
  them	
  
to	
  be	
  healthy	
  and	
  strong.
“I	
  hear	
  my	
  mum	
  and	
  I	
  listen	
  to	
  her.”
“Your	
  mum	
  wants	
  you	
  to	
  get	
  strong	
  and	
  grow.”
“If	
  you	
  eat	
  and	
  go	
  to	
  bed	
  you	
  might	
  get	
  strong.”
“Otherwise	
  you	
  will	
  be	
  grumpy	
  in	
  the	
  morning.”
“You	
  have	
  to	
  eat	
  something	
  to	
  be	
  healthy.”
“So	
  you	
  can	
  be	
  strong.”
“If	
  you	
  watch	
  too	
  much	
  TV	
  your	
  eyes	
  need	
  glasses	
  or	
  
the	
  TV	
  gets	
  hot.”
“Your	
  mum	
  wants	
  to	
  sleep	
  good	
  so	
  you	
  have	
  your	
  
beauty	
  sleep.”
The	
  children’s	
  comments	
  reflected	
  their	
  busy	
  schedules	
  
and	
  the	
  ways	
  in	
  which	
  <me	
  is	
  organised	
  for	
  them.	
  
Perhaps	
  the	
  children	
  would	
  benefit	
  from	
  <me	
  off	
  from	
  
a	
  hec<c,	
  hassled	
  rou<ne	
  to	
  rest	
  and	
  restore	
  and	
  to	
  be	
  
simply	
  present	
  in	
  the	
  moment.	
  
It	
  seems	
  clear	
  that	
  the	
  children	
  find	
  interrup<ons	
  
frustra<ng	
  and	
  have	
  a	
  desire	
  for	
  prolonged	
  periods	
  of	
  
<me	
  for	
  explora<on	
  and	
  discovery.	
  I	
  hope	
  that	
  the	
  
structure	
  of	
  our	
  day	
  at	
  school	
  reflected	
  the	
  needs	
  of	
  
the	
  children,	
  that	
  our	
  schedule	
  allows	
  for	
  flow	
  and	
  
nego<a<on	
  and	
  to	
  accommodate	
  differences	
  in	
  the	
  
children.	
  Things	
  happen	
  in	
  their	
  own	
  <me	
  and	
  space	
  
without	
  the	
  forced	
  nature	
  a	
  rushed	
  schedule	
  or	
  over	
  
scheduling	
  gives.	
  There	
  are	
  events	
  in	
  each	
  day	
  that	
  the	
  
children	
  can	
  an<cipate	
  such	
  as	
  class	
  mee<ngs,	
  snack,	
  
lunch,	
  projects,	
  outside	
  explora<on	
  and	
  home	
  <me.	
  It	
  
follows	
  the	
  same	
  predictable	
  order	
  but	
  without	
  fret.	
  
We	
  try	
  and	
  give	
  ample	
  <me	
  and	
  space	
  for	
  children	
  to	
  
make	
  connec<ons	
  in	
  their	
  own	
  <me.	
  We	
  try	
  to	
  make	
  
sure	
  that	
  we	
  have	
  enough	
  <me	
  to	
  talk,	
  to	
  listen,	
  to	
  
reflect	
  and	
  to	
  be	
  together.
The	
  children	
  have	
  a	
  sense	
  of	
  trying	
  to	
  fit	
  too	
  many	
  
things	
  into	
  a	
  day.	
  When	
  we	
  try	
  to	
  rush	
  the	
  children	
  or	
  
move	
  them	
  on	
  to	
  something	
  else	
  when	
  they	
  are	
  deeply	
  
engaged	
  in	
  an	
  ac<vity	
  causes	
  tension	
  and	
  frustra<on.	
  
Gandini	
  talks	
  of	
  the	
  connec<on	
  between	
  <me	
  and	
  
space	
  for	
  an	
  atmosphere	
  for	
  learning,	
  
“The	
  consideraRon	
  of	
  the	
  children’s	
  own	
  needs	
  and	
  
rhythms	
  shapes	
  the	
  arrangement	
  of	
  space	
  and	
  the	
  
physical	
  environment,	
  while	
  in	
  turn,	
  the	
  Rme	
  at	
  disposal	
  
allows	
  for	
  the	
  use	
  and	
  enjoyment,	
  at	
  a	
  child’s	
  pace,	
  of	
  
such	
  carefully	
  thought	
  out	
  space.”
(Edwards,	
  C.,	
  Gandini,	
  L.	
  	
  and	
  Foreman,	
  G.	
  (1993),	
  p.140,	
  The	
  hundred	
  Languages	
  of	
  
Children.	
  Norwood,	
  NJ:Ablex)
There	
  is	
  much	
  to	
  be	
  said	
  for	
  providing	
  <me	
  for	
  the	
  
children	
  to	
  make	
  connec<ons	
  to	
  their	
  own	
  world,	
  in	
  
their	
  own	
  <me	
  as	
  competent	
  individuals.	
  If	
  we	
  see	
  the	
  
children	
  as	
  competent	
  to	
  construct	
  their	
  own	
  
knowledge	
  then	
  the	
  children	
  must	
  be	
  given	
  <me	
  to	
  do	
  
this.
I	
  would	
  like	
  more	
  time...
...to	
  play	
  football	
  with	
  my	
  friends.
...to	
  get	
  chocolate	
  milkshakes	
  and	
  vanilla	
  milkshakes	
  with	
  
my	
  family.	
  Me	
  and	
  my	
  Daniel	
  and	
  my	
  Alex	
  and	
  my	
  dad	
  
and	
  my	
  mum.	
  I	
  would	
  like	
  so	
  much	
  to	
  be	
  with	
  my	
  family.
I	
  would	
  like	
  more	
  time...
...to	
  swimming.	
  I	
  want	
  swimming	
  in	
  the	
  
ocean	
  with	
  daddy.
...to	
  watch	
  flowers	
  and	
  rainbows	
  for	
  as	
  
long	
  as	
  I	
  want.
...to	
  do	
  ballet	
  with	
  Ms.	
  Chris5ne	
  and	
  
Nanako.
...be	
  in	
  the	
  Atelier.	
  I	
  like	
  to	
  make	
  rainbows	
  and	
  
flowers.	
  I	
  love	
  them.	
  I	
  like	
  it	
  in	
  the	
  Atelier.
....	
  for	
  riding	
  my	
  bicycle	
  with	
  two	
  wheels	
  
so	
  fast.	
  With	
  my	
  sister.	
  I	
  like	
  to	
  ride	
  my	
  
bicycle	
  with	
  my	
  sister.
Reacting...
Harmonious	
  rela<onships	
  stem	
  from	
  a	
  founda<on	
  in	
  
speaking	
  and	
  listening	
  with	
  mindfulness.	
  Instead	
  of	
  
mindlessly	
  spou<ng	
  whatever	
  pops	
  into	
  our	
  thoughts,	
  
we	
  speak	
  mindfully	
  when	
  we	
  use	
  words	
  that	
  reflect	
  our	
  
values	
  and	
  a	
  deeper	
  connec<on	
  to	
  ourselves.	
  Mindful	
  
listeners	
  are	
  those	
  who	
  make	
  you	
  feel	
  heard	
  and	
  
understood	
  and	
  who	
  offer	
  a	
  natural	
  presence	
  and	
  
kindness	
  just	
  by	
  virtue	
  of	
  their	
  listening	
  skills.	
  Both	
  
mindful	
  speech	
  and	
  mindful	
  listening	
  can	
  be	
  taught	
  and	
  
prac<sed.	
  Both	
  involve	
  aDending	
  to	
  another	
  person	
  
with	
  full	
  aDen<on	
  while	
  being	
  aware	
  of	
  your	
  own	
  self,	
  
body,	
  thought	
  and	
  emo<on.	
  Given	
  this	
  we	
  talked	
  about	
  
how	
  we	
  can	
  react	
  to	
  others,	
  par<cularly	
  when	
  they	
  
upset	
  or	
  displease	
  us.	
  
The	
  children	
  are	
  at	
  varying	
  levels	
  in	
  their	
  development	
  
and	
  skills	
  at	
  being	
  able	
  to	
  communicate	
  effec<vely	
  with	
  
others	
  when	
  a	
  situa<on	
  has	
  upset	
  them.	
  Whether	
  we	
  
are	
  young	
  children	
  or	
  grown	
  ups	
  much	
  stress,	
  
unhappiness	
  and	
  difficulty	
  can	
  arise	
  in	
  our	
  less	
  than	
  
skillful	
  communica<on	
  with	
  others.	
  We	
  all	
  benefit	
  from	
  
thinking	
  about	
  how	
  to	
  listen	
  deeply	
  to	
  ourselves	
  and	
  
others	
  and	
  then	
  communica<ng	
  more	
  clearly	
  and	
  
compassionately.	
  We	
  try	
  to	
  work	
  on	
  ways	
  to	
  support	
  
the	
  children	
  during	
  difficult	
  communica<ons	
  by	
  helping	
  
them	
  to	
  learn	
  to	
  pause	
  to	
  consider	
  what	
  they	
  feel	
  they	
  
want,	
  what	
  another	
  person	
  feels	
  and	
  wants,	
  and	
  how	
  
they	
  might	
  work	
  things	
  out.	
  These	
  steps	
  could	
  also	
  
nurture	
  empathy	
  and	
  compassion	
  for	
  yourself	
  and	
  
others	
  and	
  lay	
  a	
  founda<on	
  for	
  crea<ve	
  problem	
  solving	
  
and	
  true	
  coopera<on.	
  We	
  talked	
  about	
  taking	
  a	
  
moment	
  and	
  trying	
  not	
  to	
  just	
  react	
  and	
  blurt	
  out	
  
thoughts	
  and	
  feelings	
  as	
  they	
  appear	
  in	
  the	
  heat	
  of	
  the	
  
moment.	
  
•What	
  do	
  I	
  feel?
•What	
  do	
  I	
  want?
•What	
  does	
  the	
  other	
  person	
  feel?
•What	
  does	
  the	
  other	
  person	
  want?
The	
  combina<on	
  of	
  paying	
  aDen<on	
  to	
  our	
  own	
  
feelings	
  and	
  wants	
  and	
  then	
  considering	
  the	
  feelings	
  
and	
  wants	
  of	
  others	
  helps	
  us	
  be	
  kinder	
  to	
  ourselves	
  and	
  
kinder	
  to	
  other	
  people.	
  
“When	
  you	
  threw	
  my	
  toy	
  in	
  the	
  trash,	
  you	
  
broke	
  my	
  heart.”
“Ha,	
  ha,	
  I	
  hate	
  you.”
“Stop	
  it,	
  stop	
  saying	
  that.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop	
  throwing	
  the	
  
block.	
  It	
  makes	
  me	
  sad	
  
and	
  it	
  hurts	
  and	
  it	
  might	
  
hurt	
  my	
  friend.”
Relating with love and kindness....
Over	
  our	
  <me	
  so	
  far	
  in	
  Kindergarten,	
  the	
  children	
  have	
  
come	
  a	
  long	
  way	
  in	
  becoming	
  more	
  compassionate	
  
towards	
  them	
  selves	
  and	
  others.They	
  have	
  a	
  heightened	
  
sensi<vity	
  towards	
  being	
  loved,	
  feeling	
  worthy	
  of	
  love	
  
and	
  feeling	
  lovable	
  just	
  as	
  they	
  are.	
  We	
  have	
  talked	
  a	
  lot	
  
about	
  our	
  own	
  feelings	
  and	
  ways	
  of	
  managing	
  them	
  and	
  
as	
  we	
  grow	
  to	
  love	
  and	
  understand	
  ourselves	
  we	
  are	
  
more	
  able	
  to	
  love	
  and	
  understand	
  others.	
  We	
  had	
  a	
  
beau<ful	
  session	
  where	
  the	
  children	
  remembered	
  a	
  
simple	
  moment	
  when	
  they	
  felt	
  cared	
  for	
  or	
  loved	
  by	
  
someone,	
  recalling	
  the	
  details	
  of	
  the	
  moment	
  -­‐the	
  <me,	
  
the	
  se[ng,	
  the	
  person’s	
  voice-­‐	
  and	
  allowing	
  the	
  feeling	
  of	
  
being	
  cared	
  for,	
  or	
  loved,	
  fill	
  them.	
  We	
  then	
  sent	
  caring	
  
and	
  loving	
  messages	
  to	
  the	
  person	
  who	
  made	
  us	
  feel	
  
loved.	
  It	
  was	
  touching	
  to	
  listen	
  to	
  the	
  children	
  appreciate	
  
their	
  parents,	
  brothers,	
  sisters,	
  grandparents	
  and	
  friends	
  
and	
  acknowledge	
  what	
  these	
  people	
  do	
  and	
  that	
  the	
  
children	
  themselves	
  are	
  loved	
  by	
  many.	
  
The	
  verbal	
  wishes	
  of	
  kindness	
  metamorphosised	
  into	
  
tangible	
  wriDen	
  and	
  drawn	
  messages.	
  With	
  love	
  and	
  
kindness	
  the	
  children	
  created	
  notes	
  and	
  delivered	
  them	
  
to	
  delighted	
  recipients.	
  
“To	
  mummy,	
  I	
  love	
  you	
  mummy.”
“To	
  daddy	
  and	
  mamma,	
  I	
  love	
  you.”
“To	
  Shub,	
  you	
  are	
  the	
  best.”
“To	
  mum	
  and	
  dad,	
  I	
  love	
  you	
  and	
  I	
  will	
  never	
  forget	
  you.”
“To	
  mum,	
  I	
  love	
  you	
  you	
  are	
  my	
  best	
  friend.”
“To	
  Lauren,	
  you	
  are	
  my	
  best	
  friend.	
  I	
  love	
  you.”
“To	
  mum,	
  I	
  have	
  drawn	
  you	
  a	
  love	
  machine	
  so	
  you	
  are	
  
loved,	
  and	
  here	
  is	
  the	
  hearts.”
“To	
  mum,	
  thank	
  you	
  for	
  taking	
  care	
  of	
  me	
  when	
  I	
  am	
  
sick.”
We	
  hope	
  that	
  the	
  children	
  remember	
  that	
  they	
  can	
  send	
  
love	
  and	
  kindness	
  to	
  themselves	
  and	
  others.
Our learning lives on
Our	
  inquiry	
  into	
  understanding	
  ourselves	
  and	
  others	
  is	
  
con<nuous	
  and	
  we	
  hope	
  that	
  we	
  provide	
  a	
  favourable	
  
and	
  recep<ve	
  context	
  for	
  the	
  children	
  to	
  discover	
  and	
  
love	
  who	
  they	
  are	
  and	
  who	
  others	
  are.	
  We	
  hope	
  to	
  grow	
  
self	
  compassion,	
  based	
  on	
  the	
  understanding	
  that	
  all	
  
human	
  beings,	
  ourselves	
  included,	
  have	
  difficulty	
  and	
  
simultaneously	
  deserve	
  kindness.	
  Self	
  compassion	
  
intertwines	
  kindness	
  toward	
  oneself,	
  an	
  understanding	
  of	
  
our	
  common	
  humanity,	
  and	
  mindful	
  awareness.	
  Self-­‐	
  
compassion	
  enhances	
  well-­‐being,	
  our	
  ability	
  to	
  build	
  
strong	
  rela5onships	
  and	
  increases	
  resilience.	
  
Compassionate	
  ac<on	
  and	
  altruism	
  are	
  perhaps	
  the	
  
highest	
  forms	
  of	
  moral	
  behaviour	
  and	
  offer	
  us	
  op<mism	
  
for	
  the	
  future	
  of	
  humanity.	
  
Daniel	
  Goleman	
  reminds	
  us	
  that,	
  “	
  
..our	
  deepest	
  feelings,	
  our	
  passions	
  and	
  longings,	
  are	
  
essenRal	
  guides,	
  and	
  that	
  our	
  species	
  owes	
  much	
  of	
  its	
  
existence	
  to	
  their	
  power	
  in	
  human	
  affairs.”	
  
(p.3,	
  EmoBonal	
  Intelligence,	
  1995)
We	
  will	
  endeavour	
  to	
  build	
  children’s	
  perspec<ve	
  taking	
  
skills	
  enabling	
  them	
  to	
  understand	
  how	
  their	
  own	
  ac<ons	
  
will	
  be	
  experienced	
  by	
  others,	
  and	
  take	
  into	
  account	
  
other’s	
  needs,	
  informa<on	
  and	
  expecta<ons.	
  To	
  foster	
  
empathy,	
  making	
  possible	
  both	
  the	
  understanding	
  and	
  
sharing	
  of	
  emo<ons.	
  To	
  give	
  children	
  a	
  reasonable	
  
amount	
  of	
  control	
  over	
  their	
  own	
  ac<ons	
  and	
  emphasise	
  
that	
  they	
  have	
  this	
  control.	
  Perhaps	
  then	
  we	
  will	
  fulfill	
  
our	
  mission	
  to	
  develop	
  passionate,	
  inquisi<ve	
  and	
  
crea<ve	
  learners	
  who	
  take	
  ac<on	
  to	
  be	
  best	
  for	
  the	
  
world.

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Learning to understand ourselves: an inquiry into feelings

  • 1. 2009 lorem ipsum dolor met set quam nunc parum WhoamI? Learning to Understand Ourselves The Kindergarten child enters a new classroom environment, encountering the new faces of children and teachers. As facilitator the teacher becomes aware of the process and journey through which the individual identity of each child will need to be celebrated and shared, in order for the group identity or class community to emerge, develop and grow. The individual child needs to be given many opportunities to discover his or her own identity to enable him or her to feel comfortable to share with the group. We were determined to continue on this path of identity, because we knew that the young child’s thoughts are continually evolving. We wanted to pursue the notion of what it is to be somebody. We could see the children’s faces. We were able to identify a sense of self but what was that child really like? A sense of self has to develop gradually. Being yourself is about knowing who you are. Fortunately time is a component that will play a huge role in the path of this investigation that we have chosen. Through  this  inquiry  we  understand  how  we  have  a  role  to  play  in  our  own  physical,  mental,  social  and  spiritual  health  and   contribute  to  that  of  others.  Each  person  is  dynamic  and  through  cultural  experiences  develops  his  or  her  own  set  of  values  and   view  of  the  world.  We  will  explore  the  idea  that  individuals  are  interconnected. Through  this  inquiry  we  understand  how  we  have  a  role  to  play  in  our  own  physical,  mental,  social  and  spiritual  health  and   contribute  to  that  of  others.  Each  person  is  dynamic  and  through  cultural  experiences  develops  his  or  her  own  set  of  values  and   view  of  the  world.  We  will  explore  the  idea  that  individuals  are  interconnected. Through  this  inquiry  we  understand  how  we  have  a  role  to  play  in  our  own  physical,  mental,  social  and  spiritual  health  and   contribute  to  that  of  others.  Each  person  is  dynamic  and  through  cultural  experiences  develops  his  or  her  own  set  of  values  and   view  of  the  world.  We  will  explore  the  idea  that  individuals  are  interconnected. Enduring  Understanding: Each  person  is  unique  but  we   all  share  things  in  common. Compelling  Ques5on: •How  can  I  understand  more  about  myself? •  How  do  my  experiences  make  me  unique? •  How  are  we  part  of  each  others’  stories? Concepts: RelaDng  -­‐  Listening  and  Empathy Resourcefulness  -­‐  CapitalisaDon,  Making  links,   Imagining “To  give  oneself  an  iden/ty  is  a  long  and  /ring  process.  It  is  like  being  born  a  second  /me.  It  is  the  need  of  each   one  of  us  to  give  ourselves  a  face,  a  body,  gestures,  ac/ons,  thoughts  words  and  imagina/on.  It  is  the  sen/ment  of   being  that  dis/nguishes  us  from  others,  in  order  to  recognise  and  be  recognised,  to  recognise  ourselves  in  others   and  in  others  to  find  a  part  of  ourselves.  It  is  in  fact  a  dialogue,  confronta/on  and  discussion  with  the  other  ways   of  being  and  thinking,  that  the  image  of  oneself  takes  on  awareness  and  defines  itself.” Loris  Malaguzzi
  • 2. Looking within.... I  invited  the  children  to  look  into   themselves,  to  try  and  form  a   deeper  understanding  of  who  they   are,  to  listen  carefully  to  their   rhythms.  The  children  bravely   accepted  and  offered  profound   insights  into  their  feelings  and   sense  of  being.  There  was  trust  in   the  recognition  that  every   individual  is  whole,  capable,  wise   and  responsible  for  their  response   to  life.  That  in  being  compassionate   with  ourselves  and  others  we  can   move  through  life  doing  the  best   we  can.  In  paying  attention  to  the   here  and  now,  we  discover  that   things  change,  moment  to  moment. What are your ideas about feelings? I  was  touched  by  the  level  of  depth   to  their  responses.  The  children   began  by  sugges<ng  some  of  the   feelings  that  they  have,   “I  can  feel  happy.” “I  can  feel  angry  and  sad.” “If  I  am  nice  to  my  friend,  they  feel   nice  and  I  feel  nice.” “On  the  bicycle  I  feel  happy  going   super  fast.” “I  feel  happy  when  I  see  rainbows   and  bu=erflies.” “Building  with  magnets  makes  me   happy.” As  the  children  iden<fied  different   feelings,  I  was  surprised  at  how   they  were  already  aware  of  the   extent  that  we  are  connected  to   others  through  our  emo<ons.  There   seemed  to  be  some  understanding   that  the  way  other  people  feel  can   affect  the  way  we  feel  and  also  that   we  can  affect  the  feelings  of  others.   “I  was  happy  because  I  had  friends.   My  friends  help  me.  We  play   together  and  take  turns.” “Monta  make  me  happy.” “Be  kind  to  your  friends,  it  makes   me  feel  happy.  And  if  they  are   feeling  sad  and  blue  it  makes  them   feel  be=er.” “You  can  share  and  be  nice,  it   makes  me  feel  good  and  happy  and   kind.” “It  makes  me  sad  when  people  are   sad.”
  • 3. The  conversa<on  developed  into  sharing  theories  about   what  is  going  on  inside  you  when  you  experience   different  feelings.  I  find  it  fascina<ng  to  explore  ideas   about  the  invisible  and  challenging  children  to  consider   what  can  not  be  seen,  thus  ac<va<ng  the  meaning-­‐ making  competencies  of  children  as  a  basis  of  learning.   “It  comes  from  our  brains  and  hearts.” “Your  brain  gets  the  idea  and  then  you  tell  your  heart   and  then  you  say.” “If  you  are  sad  all  of  your  body  is  sad.” “From  whole  inside  your  body.” “They  work  together  as  a  team,  your  brain  and  your   heart.” “The  blood  turns  red  when  you  are  angry.” “The  blood  is  red  and  helps  you  to  think  and  feel  angry   or  sad  or  happy.” “The  heart  gets  black  when  you  are  angry.” The  children  made  graphic  representa<ons  of  their   theories  and  shared  their  drawings.  For  some  of  the   children,  it  is  easier  to  express  their  thinking  through   drawing  rather  than  verbally.  For  some  children  drawing   helps  them  to  clarify  their  ideas  as  they  find  ways  to   illustrate  their  ideas  on  paper. “The  heart  and  the  brain  makes  you  smile.” “Inside  it’s  like  a  volcano   exploding.  Hot  lava  and   rocks  coming  when  you  are   geKng  mad.” “Hugging  makes  me  happy.  The  brain  and  the  heart   work  together.  They  are  a  team.” ‘When  I  feel  happy,  it’s  like  flying.” “Feeling  mad.  Big  sharp  teeth.  The  bones  and  the  heart   are  geKng  ready  to  punch.  They  are  angry  too.  Tornado   in  my  brain.  Steam  is  coming  out  of  my  ears.  My  head  is   almost  exploding.” “I  have  a  volcano  in  me  when  I  am  angry.  I  have  a   volcano  in  my  belly.” “When  I’m  happy  it’s  like  I  have  rainbows  and  colour   dots  in  my  body.  It’s  like  the  sun  is  shining.” “My  brain  goes  black  when  I  am  sad.” “When  I’m  angry  ...  I’m  drawing  many  brains  because   they  are  bouncing  around,  like  my  brain  is  going  nuts.   I’m  doing  my  face  red.”
  • 4. In  pausing  to  think  about  joyful  events  or  unpleasant   events,  in  paying  aDen<on  to  events  in  daily  life,  what   happens  in  your  minds  ,  thoughts,  hearts  and  bodies,  the   children  are  becoming  more  completely  aware  of  the   current  feeling  state  or  emo<on.  The  children  are  really   feeling  their  feelings.   Anger.... In  our  discussions,  many  of  the  children  talked  about   angry  feelings.  In  response  to  these  acknowledgements   of  less  comfortable  feelings,  we  read,  ‘Angry  Dragon’  by   Thierry  Robberecht.  I  selected  this  book  as  it  shows  the   power  of  our  emo<ons  and  how  we  can  be  overwhelmed   and  transformed  by  how  we  feel.  The  children  made   thoughFul  comments  about  the  main  character  in  the   story,  a  young  boy  who  feels  his  anger  rising,  building   inside  him  and  turning  him  into  a  giant  dragon  and  then   how  the  boy  is  soothed  and  the  fire  inside  of  him   dissipates.  The  metaphor  of  the  dragon  inside  connected   well  with  the  children’s  descrip<ons  of  a  volcano  in  their   stomach  that  exploded  when  they  are  angry  or  mad.   Anxiety... The  children  bravely  discussed  events  that  they  feel   worried  about,   “When  I  was  first  coming  to  school  I  felt  excited  and   nervous.  Excited  to  see  my  new  class.  Nervous  there   might  be  new  friends,  they  might  not  like  me.” “I  worry  about  the  thunder,  lightening,  noises,  dreams.  It   scares  me  when  it  thunders  and  lightening.  When  I  splash   in  the  puddles  I  feel  be=er.” “I  worry  about  the  dark  and  lightening.  When  it’s  dark  I   can’t  see.  I  am  scared  of  the  lightening.  I  need  to  go  to  my   mum  and  she  hug  me  and  kiss  me.  SomeRmes  I  go  there   to  sleep.” “I’m  worried  about  when  me  dad  takes  me  to  school  and   he  has  to  go  and  I  am  staying  alone  in  school  unRl  2   o’clock.” “I’m  scared  of  my  mum  and  my  sister  going  somewhere  in   the  car.  My  mum  and  my  sister  going  to  everywhere  but   not  school,  I  am  at  school.  I  think  it  will  always  be  a  long   Rme  but  actually  it  isn’t  a  long  Rme.” “When  my  bus  is  here,  I  don’t  have  any  Rme  to  hug  my   mum  and  dad.  I’m  sad  when  my  mum  and  dad  is  gone.” “When  I  am  asleep  alone,  I  worry  about  a  monster  saying,   ‘I  am  going  to  eat  you!’  When  my  mum  comes,  when  my   mum  sleeps  with  me,  I  feel  be=er.” “I’m  scary,  I’m  worry  lightening  go  to  my  body.”
  • 5. lorem ipsum dolor met set quam nunc parum When  listening  to  some  of  the   children  describe  what  they  do  to   feel  beDer,  it  seems  to  be  important   that  we  help  children  to  feel   connected  to  parents,  teachers  and   caregivers  and  to  provide  a  stable   and  happy  environment  where   children  can  be  comforted  when   they  are  overloaded  with  stress.   These  discussions  further  reinforce   the  vital  importance  of   rela<onships.  It  serves  as  a  reminder   about  the  way  we  get  along  with   children  and  how  this  influences   them.  The  environment  must  be  set   up  to  interface  the  cogni<ve  realm   and  the  realm  of  rela<onship  and   affec<vity.  My  hope  is  that  over   <me,  we  can  provide  a  safe  context   for  children  to  learn  to  understand   and  love  themselves  and  to  develop   empathe<c  understanding  of   others. “Holding  hands  with  my  friends   makes  me  happy  again.” “I  outside  and  play,  I  feels  good   again.” “When  you  are  angry  you  can  take  a   deep  breath.” “Going  on  the  slide  makes  me  happy   again.” “I  pretend  I’m  on  a  cloud.” “Holding  hands  with  Milo  makes  me   feel  be=er.” “A  sunny  day  makes  me  feel  be=er.”   “I  close  my  eyes  and  imagine  a   happy  feeling,  like  excited  for   something  like  a  birthday,  my   birthday  or  my  friends  birthday.” “Making  funny  faces  makes  me   laugh  again.” “Yes,  laughing  makes  me  feel   be=er.” It  was  interes<ng  to  me  that  many   of  the  sugges<ons  from  the  children   about  how  to  manage  stress   seemed  somewhat  similar  to  adult   versions,  including,   •  deep  breathing-­‐taking  long  slow   deep  breathes,   •  autosugges<on  -­‐  dropping  into  the   mind  key  phrases  or  images  that   induce  a  sense  of  physical   relaxa<on,   •  physical  contact  of  a  loved  one •  physical  presence  of  a  loved  one •  nature •  exercise  or  physicality   Managing our worries...
  • 6. How can we manage our anxieties and worries? Holding hands with my friends makes me happy again. If go outside and play feels good again. More time for playing is good. Being in my house makes me feel better. Doing somersaults makes me happy again I think about flowers and rainbows and I feel better Holding hands with Milo makes me feel better. Thinking about hearts makes me happy again. Being with my friends makes me happy again. A sunny day makes me feel better. When I am angry I take deep breathes. I pretend to be a ninja when I am angry. When you are angry you can take a deep breath. Going on the slide makes me happy again. Being with Nanako and friends make me happy. Being upside down makes me feel better. I pretend I’m on a cloud. I think about hearts and butterflies and I don’t feel sad any more .
  • 7. Laughter... Many  of  the  children  suggested  that  laughing  makes   them  feel  beDer  if  they  are  feeling  angry  or  sad.  They   seem  to  have  a  sense  that  when  laughter  is  shared,  it   binds  people  together  and  increases  happiness  and   in<macy.  Humor  is  infec<ous.  The  sound  of  roaring   laughter  is  far  more  contagious  than  any  cough,  sniffle,  or   sneeze.  I  decided  to  discuss  laughter  with  the  groups  to   find  out  more  about  the  children’s  ideas.   “Every  body  laughs.” “I  laugh  at  jokes.” “Audra  is  sRcking  her  tongue  out  at  me  and  it  makes  me   laugh.” “It’s  like  you’re  doing  funny  faces  and  saying  silly  words   and  you  laugh  a  lot  a  lot.” “Playing  soccer  with  Makoto  make  me  laugh.” “When  my  dad  blows  a  raspberry  on  my  tummy.  It  Rckles   and  I  laugh  .  He  does  it  at  bed  Rme.” “When  I  Rckle  on  my  foot  it  really  Rckles.” “When  I  got  Rckled  under  my  arm  it  really   Rckles.” Even  talking  about  laughing  caused  much   laughter.  Children  shared  jokes  with   spontaneity  and    made  silly  faces  to   encourage  more  laughter. “I  like  to  make  people  laugh  by  saying  silly   things.” “I  like  people  to  laugh  and  be  happy.” Some  of  the  children  really  enjoy  making  their  friends   laugh  and  have  a  desire  for  others  to  be  happy.  We   laughed  together  as  a  group,  beginning  with  fake   laughter  that  quickly  became  contagious  and  real,  just   hearing  laughter  seems  to  prime  your  brain  and  readies   you  to  smile  and  join  in  the  fun.  An  emo<onal  sharing   that  has  the  capacity  to  build  strong  and  las<ng   rela<onship  bonds,  also  contribu<ng  joy,  vitality,  and   resilience. The  feelings  were  so  strong,  we  were  moved  to  compose   poetry  about  laughter.
  • 8.
  • 9. Frustration.... Many  of  the  children  described  frustra<on  at  being   rushed  or  not  having  enough  <me.  The  children  came   to  the  conclusion  that  it  does  make  them  angry  or   frustrated  when  they  have  to  stop  something  or  they   are  interrupted,  but  they  understood  that  it  is  usually   because  their  mums  cared  for  them  and  wanted  them   to  be  healthy  and  strong. “I  hear  my  mum  and  I  listen  to  her.” “Your  mum  wants  you  to  get  strong  and  grow.” “If  you  eat  and  go  to  bed  you  might  get  strong.” “Otherwise  you  will  be  grumpy  in  the  morning.” “You  have  to  eat  something  to  be  healthy.” “So  you  can  be  strong.” “If  you  watch  too  much  TV  your  eyes  need  glasses  or   the  TV  gets  hot.” “Your  mum  wants  to  sleep  good  so  you  have  your   beauty  sleep.” The  children’s  comments  reflected  their  busy  schedules   and  the  ways  in  which  <me  is  organised  for  them.   Perhaps  the  children  would  benefit  from  <me  off  from   a  hec<c,  hassled  rou<ne  to  rest  and  restore  and  to  be   simply  present  in  the  moment.   It  seems  clear  that  the  children  find  interrup<ons   frustra<ng  and  have  a  desire  for  prolonged  periods  of   <me  for  explora<on  and  discovery.  I  hope  that  the   structure  of  our  day  at  school  reflected  the  needs  of   the  children,  that  our  schedule  allows  for  flow  and   nego<a<on  and  to  accommodate  differences  in  the   children.  Things  happen  in  their  own  <me  and  space   without  the  forced  nature  a  rushed  schedule  or  over   scheduling  gives.  There  are  events  in  each  day  that  the   children  can  an<cipate  such  as  class  mee<ngs,  snack,   lunch,  projects,  outside  explora<on  and  home  <me.  It   follows  the  same  predictable  order  but  without  fret.   We  try  and  give  ample  <me  and  space  for  children  to   make  connec<ons  in  their  own  <me.  We  try  to  make   sure  that  we  have  enough  <me  to  talk,  to  listen,  to   reflect  and  to  be  together. The  children  have  a  sense  of  trying  to  fit  too  many   things  into  a  day.  When  we  try  to  rush  the  children  or   move  them  on  to  something  else  when  they  are  deeply   engaged  in  an  ac<vity  causes  tension  and  frustra<on.   Gandini  talks  of  the  connec<on  between  <me  and   space  for  an  atmosphere  for  learning,   “The  consideraRon  of  the  children’s  own  needs  and   rhythms  shapes  the  arrangement  of  space  and  the   physical  environment,  while  in  turn,  the  Rme  at  disposal   allows  for  the  use  and  enjoyment,  at  a  child’s  pace,  of   such  carefully  thought  out  space.” (Edwards,  C.,  Gandini,  L.    and  Foreman,  G.  (1993),  p.140,  The  hundred  Languages  of   Children.  Norwood,  NJ:Ablex) There  is  much  to  be  said  for  providing  <me  for  the   children  to  make  connec<ons  to  their  own  world,  in   their  own  <me  as  competent  individuals.  If  we  see  the   children  as  competent  to  construct  their  own   knowledge  then  the  children  must  be  given  <me  to  do   this. I  would  like  more  time... ...to  play  football  with  my  friends. ...to  get  chocolate  milkshakes  and  vanilla  milkshakes  with   my  family.  Me  and  my  Daniel  and  my  Alex  and  my  dad   and  my  mum.  I  would  like  so  much  to  be  with  my  family.
  • 10. I  would  like  more  time... ...to  swimming.  I  want  swimming  in  the   ocean  with  daddy. ...to  watch  flowers  and  rainbows  for  as   long  as  I  want. ...to  do  ballet  with  Ms.  Chris5ne  and   Nanako. ...be  in  the  Atelier.  I  like  to  make  rainbows  and   flowers.  I  love  them.  I  like  it  in  the  Atelier. ....  for  riding  my  bicycle  with  two  wheels   so  fast.  With  my  sister.  I  like  to  ride  my   bicycle  with  my  sister.
  • 11. Reacting... Harmonious  rela<onships  stem  from  a  founda<on  in   speaking  and  listening  with  mindfulness.  Instead  of   mindlessly  spou<ng  whatever  pops  into  our  thoughts,   we  speak  mindfully  when  we  use  words  that  reflect  our   values  and  a  deeper  connec<on  to  ourselves.  Mindful   listeners  are  those  who  make  you  feel  heard  and   understood  and  who  offer  a  natural  presence  and   kindness  just  by  virtue  of  their  listening  skills.  Both   mindful  speech  and  mindful  listening  can  be  taught  and   prac<sed.  Both  involve  aDending  to  another  person   with  full  aDen<on  while  being  aware  of  your  own  self,   body,  thought  and  emo<on.  Given  this  we  talked  about   how  we  can  react  to  others,  par<cularly  when  they   upset  or  displease  us.   The  children  are  at  varying  levels  in  their  development   and  skills  at  being  able  to  communicate  effec<vely  with   others  when  a  situa<on  has  upset  them.  Whether  we   are  young  children  or  grown  ups  much  stress,   unhappiness  and  difficulty  can  arise  in  our  less  than   skillful  communica<on  with  others.  We  all  benefit  from   thinking  about  how  to  listen  deeply  to  ourselves  and   others  and  then  communica<ng  more  clearly  and   compassionately.  We  try  to  work  on  ways  to  support   the  children  during  difficult  communica<ons  by  helping   them  to  learn  to  pause  to  consider  what  they  feel  they   want,  what  another  person  feels  and  wants,  and  how   they  might  work  things  out.  These  steps  could  also   nurture  empathy  and  compassion  for  yourself  and   others  and  lay  a  founda<on  for  crea<ve  problem  solving   and  true  coopera<on.  We  talked  about  taking  a   moment  and  trying  not  to  just  react  and  blurt  out   thoughts  and  feelings  as  they  appear  in  the  heat  of  the   moment.   •What  do  I  feel? •What  do  I  want? •What  does  the  other  person  feel? •What  does  the  other  person  want? The  combina<on  of  paying  aDen<on  to  our  own   feelings  and  wants  and  then  considering  the  feelings   and  wants  of  others  helps  us  be  kinder  to  ourselves  and   kinder  to  other  people.   “When  you  threw  my  toy  in  the  trash,  you   broke  my  heart.” “Ha,  ha,  I  hate  you.” “Stop  it,  stop  saying  that.” “Sorry.” “Stop  throwing  the   block.  It  makes  me  sad   and  it  hurts  and  it  might   hurt  my  friend.”
  • 12. Relating with love and kindness.... Over  our  <me  so  far  in  Kindergarten,  the  children  have   come  a  long  way  in  becoming  more  compassionate   towards  them  selves  and  others.They  have  a  heightened   sensi<vity  towards  being  loved,  feeling  worthy  of  love   and  feeling  lovable  just  as  they  are.  We  have  talked  a  lot   about  our  own  feelings  and  ways  of  managing  them  and   as  we  grow  to  love  and  understand  ourselves  we  are   more  able  to  love  and  understand  others.  We  had  a   beau<ful  session  where  the  children  remembered  a   simple  moment  when  they  felt  cared  for  or  loved  by   someone,  recalling  the  details  of  the  moment  -­‐the  <me,   the  se[ng,  the  person’s  voice-­‐  and  allowing  the  feeling  of   being  cared  for,  or  loved,  fill  them.  We  then  sent  caring   and  loving  messages  to  the  person  who  made  us  feel   loved.  It  was  touching  to  listen  to  the  children  appreciate   their  parents,  brothers,  sisters,  grandparents  and  friends   and  acknowledge  what  these  people  do  and  that  the   children  themselves  are  loved  by  many.   The  verbal  wishes  of  kindness  metamorphosised  into   tangible  wriDen  and  drawn  messages.  With  love  and   kindness  the  children  created  notes  and  delivered  them   to  delighted  recipients.   “To  mummy,  I  love  you  mummy.” “To  daddy  and  mamma,  I  love  you.” “To  Shub,  you  are  the  best.” “To  mum  and  dad,  I  love  you  and  I  will  never  forget  you.” “To  mum,  I  love  you  you  are  my  best  friend.” “To  Lauren,  you  are  my  best  friend.  I  love  you.” “To  mum,  I  have  drawn  you  a  love  machine  so  you  are   loved,  and  here  is  the  hearts.” “To  mum,  thank  you  for  taking  care  of  me  when  I  am   sick.” We  hope  that  the  children  remember  that  they  can  send   love  and  kindness  to  themselves  and  others.
  • 13. Our learning lives on Our  inquiry  into  understanding  ourselves  and  others  is   con<nuous  and  we  hope  that  we  provide  a  favourable   and  recep<ve  context  for  the  children  to  discover  and   love  who  they  are  and  who  others  are.  We  hope  to  grow   self  compassion,  based  on  the  understanding  that  all   human  beings,  ourselves  included,  have  difficulty  and   simultaneously  deserve  kindness.  Self  compassion   intertwines  kindness  toward  oneself,  an  understanding  of   our  common  humanity,  and  mindful  awareness.  Self-­‐   compassion  enhances  well-­‐being,  our  ability  to  build   strong  rela5onships  and  increases  resilience.   Compassionate  ac<on  and  altruism  are  perhaps  the   highest  forms  of  moral  behaviour  and  offer  us  op<mism   for  the  future  of  humanity.   Daniel  Goleman  reminds  us  that,  “   ..our  deepest  feelings,  our  passions  and  longings,  are   essenRal  guides,  and  that  our  species  owes  much  of  its   existence  to  their  power  in  human  affairs.”   (p.3,  EmoBonal  Intelligence,  1995) We  will  endeavour  to  build  children’s  perspec<ve  taking   skills  enabling  them  to  understand  how  their  own  ac<ons   will  be  experienced  by  others,  and  take  into  account   other’s  needs,  informa<on  and  expecta<ons.  To  foster   empathy,  making  possible  both  the  understanding  and   sharing  of  emo<ons.  To  give  children  a  reasonable   amount  of  control  over  their  own  ac<ons  and  emphasise   that  they  have  this  control.  Perhaps  then  we  will  fulfill   our  mission  to  develop  passionate,  inquisi<ve  and   crea<ve  learners  who  take  ac<on  to  be  best  for  the   world.