Many people complain that small talk is a waste of time, that is feels forced and fake. On the contrary, small talk is essential to building rapport and establishing a relationship. By following the suggestions below, small talk becomes a powerful part of any sales meeting. The difference between effective and ineffective small talk is being deliberate. Deliberate small talk done well accelerates connection. Small talk contributes to sales and customer service success every time you meet with prospects and clients. The best sales professionals are well prepared for various types of conversations. Here are several suggestions to make small talk an important part of your sales toolbox.

1. Helping busy business executives maintain their competitive edge.
Business is Personal
Build Rapport with Small Talk
By Ira J. Koretsky
September 2009
R elationships are not built in a vacuum. They are collaborative efforts, established one moment at a
time. Deliberate, well-crafted small talk conversations accelerate bonding and rapport. Imagine
this: you made a great first impression on the telephone with William, CEO of a Fortune 2000
firm. A few days later, you are on your way to the follow-up meeting at his office. Are you prepared for
your “second” impression?
Early in my career, I thought I prepared well for the second meeting. In reality, I only prepared for part of
the meeting—the conversation related to the offering. I did not prepare well for the human side—the
bonding and rapport.
Many people complain that small talk is a waste of time, that is feels forced and fake. On the contrary,
small talk is essential to building rapport and establishing a relationship. By following the suggestions
below, small talk becomes a powerful part of any sales meeting. The difference between effective and
ineffective small talk is being deliberate. Deliberate small talk done well accelerates connection. Small
talk contributes to sales and customer service success every time you meet with prospects and clients.
There are several types of small talk. Edmondson and House (1981) describe the most common type as
the words exchanged before transitioning to “business talk” (see end of article for references). Business
talk is talking about the agenda items. Drew and Chilton (2000) define another type as simply “keep in
touch.” Saftoiu (2006) presents a third type as “transitional” small talk. Transitional “consists of short
conversations inserted within business talk…to check on the state of the relationship and to release some
of the tension that heavy topics might have brought up.”
The best sales professionals are well prepared for various types of conversations. Here are several
suggestions to make small talk an important part of your sales toolbox.
Develop a List of Questions
Always perform competitive and business intelligence research. This is the most important part of small
talk success. Research both the organization and all of the attendees, especially the “Key Decision
Makers” (KDMs). Develop a master list of statements and questions relevant to your attendees, sorted by
priority. Regarding personal questions, your interest must be genuine (insincerity is quite easy to discern).
For the organization, know its competitors, products and services, history, recent successes, future
challenges, and the like. For the attendees, look for genuine common interests. Examples include where
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2. Helping busy business executives maintain their competitive edge.
someone grew up, attended school, and their hobbies, charities, and professional associations.
There are many valuable resources out there to help you in your research. Internal resources include the
organization’s website, press releases, annual reports, interviews with executives, conference
presentations, biographies, and investor presentations. External resources include Hoovers, Gartner,
Forrester Research, Yankee Group, LinkedIn, Twitter, Digg, Slideshare.net, Internet search engines,
blogs, newspapers, magazines, and journals. Now your conversations are targeted and deliberate.
Gauge Receptivity
Understand and tune into the KDM’s personality. Does William prefer small talk or business talk?
Unsure? Dip your toe into the pool. Follow William’s lead. Whatever his preference, you are prepared.
Start-of-meeting small talk should last only a few minutes. If William does not provide timing cues, then
you should transition to business talk within five to seven minutes. Since you did your pre-meeting
preparation and research on the organization, your deliberate small talk complements the agenda. Your
small talk continues to be relevant and important to the meeting. It establishes your efforts to understand
and gain familiarity with William and his organization.
Share and Ask
Let us assume that there are several people attending your meeting. As soon as you walk into the
conference room, you discover that William is running late. Begin your bonding and rapport with the
folks in the room with your prepared list of statements and questions. As you initiate conversation,
remember the key to successful small talk is “share and ask.”
Based on your research, share something important about yourself relevant to your KDM. Then ask a
related question. By sharing something about yourself first, you exhibit positive signs of trust.
One example is “Margaret, I am also active in XYZ association. How are your experiences with XYZ?”
Another example is “Damodar, I graduated from EFG University with an MBA in 19XX. I noticed that
you went to LMN for your MBA. What did you like the most?” A third example, “Sofia, I read in the
Wall Street Journal about your new [blank] initiative. We did something similar a few years ago. I’m
curious, how is this initiative progressing?”
The answers will likely offer insights into how the KDM thinks. The right small talk can uncover
information about potential cross-selling opportunities for their future product launch, new customer
service strategies, and more.
Deliberate Small Talk Differentiates
We all recognize that relationships take time. Each opportunity that you have to touch your prospect is an
opportunity to accelerate success. Small talk is an effective way of making a positive impact. Your
challenge is balancing small talk and business talk with the stated or unstated preferences of your KDMs.
Effective small talk demonstrates attentiveness, positive listening, and genuine interest. It enables the
conversation to go beyond the nuts and bolts of pure business. It enables you to connect on a personal
level as well. If you win on price, you will also lose on price. You have to differentiate yourself. Forming
personal bonds is crucial to winning most contracts. Why? Because business is personal.
Ira Koretsky is the president of The Chief Storyteller®, a firm that turns your business stories and
messages into results, with keynotes, workshops, and consulting. He can be reached at:
tbmag@thechiefstoryteller.com
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3. Helping busy business executives maintain their competitive edge.
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