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MOTIVATING, LEADING AND
MANAGING DIFFICULT
PEOPLE
Talia Fox, M.Ed.
CEO, KUSI Training
www.kusitraining.com
Learning Objectives
 Examine common types of difficult people and
associated strategies to motivate them
 Explore the power relationship between boss and
subordinate and the “power questions” that
improve this relationship dynamic
 Examine communication techniques to diffuse
conflict
 Explore strategies to motivate and engage
ANYONE
Get It Out!

What types of people are
difficult?
Why Are People Difficult?

What are some of the
underlying reasons for
difficult behavior?
Managing and Leading Difficult
People
• What is the challenge?
• What type of difficult person are you dealing
with?
• What is your role in the conflict?
• How do your values/perceptions impact your
behavior?
• What part of the conflict to you agree with?
• What is the bigger picture? What is the goal?
Specific Techniques That Diffuse
Conflict
•
•
•
•
•
•

Define conflict
Identify the nature of conflict
Show empathy
Ask questions
Offer suggestions (Not advice)
Understand the role of values, biases, history,
culture, etc.
Talia’s Leadership Model
You

Form
Reactions

Behaviors
Choices
It

Them
Managing Your Boss
The ideal relationship is an interdependent
relationship:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Expressed mutual needs
Expressed mutual goals
Expressed mutual respect
Expressed mutual dependence
Competence = Service
Your Boss Is Your Customer!
• What are your boss’s priorities and goals?
• What pressures does he/she face?
• What is his/her communication style and
preferences?
• How does your boss like to work?
• What are your boss’s weaknesses and
strengths?
Top Professional Influencers
1. Competence
2. Trustworthiness
3. Expertise
4. Likability
5. Composure
6. Sociability

Authority and Positional Power is not on this list?
An “A” in Powerful Communication
Techniques
•
•
•
•

Ask
Absorb
Agree
Add
Shift From Amateur to Professional
Professional

Amateur
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Has knowledge
Has awareness
Has great ideas
Follows job description
Stays in comfort zone
Collaborates
Understands the power of individual
contributions
Has values

•
•
•
•

•
•
•

Turns knowledge into practice
Articulates and implements
awareness
Expresses ideas and Motivates others
Aligns with personal/professional
values Seeks challenges to grow and
innovate
Leverages resources and shapes
opportunities
Liquidates collective value
Makes choices based on values
How to Motivate?
• Be influential
• Learn more, teach less
• Motivational interviewing
techniques
• Know that others are
motivated by different
things
• Create relationships and
partnerships
Ability to get
things done

Controlling
one’s
environment

What is
power?
Exercising
authority

Capacity to
influence
outcomes
Sources of Power
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Personality
Information
Connection
Idea and Innovation
Communication
Confidence
Past performance
Unique Value
Organization

•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Resource
Silence
Charisma
Emotional intelligence
Organizational
Awareness
Availability
Internal resilience
Crisis management
Relationship Building

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How to Motivate, Manage, and Lead Difficult Employees and Bosses

  • 1. MOTIVATING, LEADING AND MANAGING DIFFICULT PEOPLE Talia Fox, M.Ed. CEO, KUSI Training www.kusitraining.com
  • 2. Learning Objectives  Examine common types of difficult people and associated strategies to motivate them  Explore the power relationship between boss and subordinate and the “power questions” that improve this relationship dynamic  Examine communication techniques to diffuse conflict  Explore strategies to motivate and engage ANYONE
  • 3. Get It Out! What types of people are difficult?
  • 4. Why Are People Difficult? What are some of the underlying reasons for difficult behavior?
  • 5. Managing and Leading Difficult People • What is the challenge? • What type of difficult person are you dealing with? • What is your role in the conflict? • How do your values/perceptions impact your behavior? • What part of the conflict to you agree with? • What is the bigger picture? What is the goal?
  • 6. Specific Techniques That Diffuse Conflict • • • • • • Define conflict Identify the nature of conflict Show empathy Ask questions Offer suggestions (Not advice) Understand the role of values, biases, history, culture, etc.
  • 8. Managing Your Boss The ideal relationship is an interdependent relationship: 1. 2. 3. 4. Expressed mutual needs Expressed mutual goals Expressed mutual respect Expressed mutual dependence
  • 9. Competence = Service Your Boss Is Your Customer! • What are your boss’s priorities and goals? • What pressures does he/she face? • What is his/her communication style and preferences? • How does your boss like to work? • What are your boss’s weaknesses and strengths?
  • 10. Top Professional Influencers 1. Competence 2. Trustworthiness 3. Expertise 4. Likability 5. Composure 6. Sociability Authority and Positional Power is not on this list?
  • 11. An “A” in Powerful Communication Techniques • • • • Ask Absorb Agree Add
  • 12. Shift From Amateur to Professional Professional Amateur • • • • • • • • Has knowledge Has awareness Has great ideas Follows job description Stays in comfort zone Collaborates Understands the power of individual contributions Has values • • • • • • • Turns knowledge into practice Articulates and implements awareness Expresses ideas and Motivates others Aligns with personal/professional values Seeks challenges to grow and innovate Leverages resources and shapes opportunities Liquidates collective value Makes choices based on values
  • 13. How to Motivate? • Be influential • Learn more, teach less • Motivational interviewing techniques • Know that others are motivated by different things • Create relationships and partnerships
  • 14. Ability to get things done Controlling one’s environment What is power? Exercising authority Capacity to influence outcomes
  • 15. Sources of Power • • • • • • • • • Personality Information Connection Idea and Innovation Communication Confidence Past performance Unique Value Organization • • • • • • • • • Resource Silence Charisma Emotional intelligence Organizational Awareness Availability Internal resilience Crisis management Relationship Building