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7 Tips on dealing with a BULLY at work


                      1      Tips



                    2 3 4
                   for dealing with a BULLY

            TEXT
                   5 6 7
                       in the workplace
                                              TEXT
Agenda
 7 Tips on dealing with a BULLY at work



  1   What is bullying?

  2   Who is a bully?
  3   How do you know if you are being bullied?
  4   You are not alone!
✓ 5
  5
  5   Deal with a bully: 7 Tips

  6   Follow through…

  7   Make a decision and plan
  8   Resources
  9   Q&A
                                                  Your Logo
What is bullying?
                                          le
                                      i cu e                          Ra
                                   Rid bus                           Ha ge
                                      A                                te




    Repeated
                              es
                             ce
                         Blam




                                                                             Rep
                                                                             Dam tatio
                        iolen




    deliberate




                                                                                u
                                                                                 a ge n
                       V




                                            A bully will usually
   attempts to                            combine various types of
belittle, control or                            behaviour

    undermine
                                               Humiliate
 someone in an                                  Criticise
obvious or subtle
     manner.
Who is a bully?
A bully has:
A great need to control other people, either openly or indirectly.
Usually, a bully thinks they are in a position of authority.
In the workplace, a bully could be a manager, supervisor or a colleague.
A bully’s action may be driven by envy, fear of inadequacy and insecurity about their own
competence.
A bully’s behaviour may emerge in their desire to keep any possible rivals down.




one
How do you know if you feel bullied at work?

                                  e      If you regularly try and avoid a particular
                                         If you regularly try and avoid a particular
                                nc       person at work because they put you down or
         1                oid a          person at work because they put you down or
                       Av                undermine you, there is a good chance that
                                         undermine you, there is a good chance that
Trust your instincts

                                         you feel bullied by them.
                                         you feel bullied by them.
                                    on


                                         If you regularly feel intimidated by anyone at
                                         If you regularly feel intimidated by anyone at
                             ida ti



                                         work or afraid to work near them or have
                                         work or afraid to work near them or have
                                         anything to do with them or their project,
                                         anything to do with them or their project,
                       Int im




                                         then you feel bullied by them.
                                         then you feel bullied by them.



                                         If you regularly get yelled at, criticized, put
                                         If you regularly get yelled at, criticized, put
                                         down, insulted or frowned upon by anyone at
                                         down, insulted or frowned upon by anyone at
                              s ism




                                         work, then, you might be at the receiving end
                                         work, then, you might be at the receiving end
                        Crit i




                                         of bullying at work.
                                         of bullying at work.
You are not alone!




                                                             5 %                ied
                         %                                  3
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                                        in

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                      5
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                               of
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                         ie
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                  e
                                                          5 %            ed
                                                         1      W
                                                                 i tn
                                                                     ess

Data Source: The US National Survey by the Workplace Bullying
Institute (WBI)
Deal with a bully
               o Assess the situation. Do your homework and find out everything you can
               o Assess the situation. Do your homework and find out everything you can
                 about bullying in the workplace.
                  about bullying in the workplace.
     1         o If it feels like bulling, name it and call it bullying!
               o If it feels like bulling, name it and call it bullying!
               o Keep a close eye on what is happening around the situation between you
               o Keep a close eye on what is happening around the situation between you
                 and the person in question.
                  and the person in question.


               o
               o Don’t ignore the situation, it will not make it go away.
                 Don’t ignore the situation, it will not make it go away.
               o
               o Evaluate the situation carefully and build a support network.
                 Evaluate the situation carefully and build a support network.
     2         o
               o Discuss the situation with a trusted manager, Human Resources (HR),
                 Discuss the situation with a trusted manager, Human Resources (HR),
                 support manager, colleagues, a mentor or anyone closest to you.
                 support manager, colleagues, a mentor or anyone closest to you.
               o Confide in someone so that they are aware and can look out for you.
               o Confide in someone so that they are aware and can look out for you.



               o Document and keep a log of every time you experience the bullying
     3         o Document and keep a log of every time you experience the bullying
                 behavior or situation: document the date, time, name of person(s) present
                  behavior or situation: document the date, time, name of person(s) present
                 and details of the incident.
                  and details of the incident.
               o If bullying occurs in an email or in any correspondence, keep the
               o If bullying occurs in an email or in any correspondence, keep the
                 electronic e-mail and file a hard copy.
                  electronic e-mail and file a hard copy.

      Remember that you are stronger and more resilient than you think!
Deal with a bully (contd.)
                  o Don’t play the bully’s game. Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.
                  o Don’t play the bully’s game. Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.
                  o Don’t be baited or set up for any reasons. The bully is looking for a reaction
                  o Don’t be baited or set up for any reasons. The bully is looking for a reaction
     4              from you. When they don’t get a reaction, they may relent and stop.
                     from you. When they don’t get a reaction, they may relent and stop.



                  o Ensure that you set limits and confront the bully in the presence of a trusted
                  o Ensure that you set limits and confront the bully in the presence of a trusted
                    third party. Don’t get emotional or blame yourself in the process.
                     third party. Don’t get emotional or blame yourself in the process.
                  o Set limits on what you will tolerate and exercise your right to tell the bully to
     5            o Set limits on what you will tolerate and exercise your right to tell the bully to
                    stop the behaviour.
                     stop the behaviour.
                  o Make statements about the bully’s conduct directly to the bully.
                  o Make statements about the bully’s conduct directly to the bully.
                  o Put the bully on notice. Keep up your game, don’t lose your temper or
                  o Put the bully on notice. Keep up your game, don’t lose your temper or
                    composure
                     composure
                  o Calmly let the bully know that you are serious about not allowing them to walk
                  o Calmly let the bully know that you are serious about not allowing them to walk
                    all over you anymore.
                     all over you anymore.
•
•   You must speak to the bully in the presence of a trusted third party or others.
    You must speak to the bully in the presence of a trusted third party or others.
•
•   Calmly illustrate the behaviour you see the bully exhibit – describe what you see precisely.
    Calmly illustrate the behaviour you see the bully exhibit – describe what you see precisely.
•
•   Tell the bully exactly how their actions impact your work.
    Tell the bully exactly how their actions impact your work.
•
•   Tell the bully what behaviors you will not put up with in the future
    Tell the bully what behaviors you will not put up with in the future
•
•   Stick with your statement and if the bully tries to violate your space, don’t move, rather, stand
    Stick with your statement and if the bully tries to violate your space, don’t move, rather, stand
    your ground, maintain eye contact and confront in a professional manner if necessary.
    your ground, maintain eye contact and confront in a professional manner if necessary.
Deal with a bully (contd.)

         o Put the bully on total blast! If after you have confronted the bully and you haven’t
         o Put the bully on total blast! If after you have confronted the bully and you haven’t
           noticed a change, then, it is time for the next step.
           noticed a change, then, it is time for the next step.
  6      o With your documented log, take the issue to your HR and manager.
         o With your documented log, take the issue to your HR and manager.
         o Address the issue from a work perspective. Elaborate on how the behaviour is
         o Address the issue from a work perspective. Elaborate on how the behaviour is
           affecting your work. Inform both of how important the issue is and must be
           affecting your work. Inform both of how important the issue is and must be
           sorted out, then stress your desire to work in a comfortable, safe environment.
           sorted out, then stress your desire to work in a comfortable, safe environment.



          o
          o   Know when to have another plan.
               Know when to have another plan.
          o
          o   Once you’ve asked for help and nothing changes, you may need to consider
               Once you’ve asked for help and nothing changes, you may need to consider
              other options.
               other options.
          o
          o   It is important that you think of yourself first.
               It is important that you think of yourself first.
   7      o
          o
          o
          o
              Don’t stay in a negative environment just to prove a point.
               Don’t stay in a negative environment just to prove a point.
              If bullying is causing you a lot of stress, seek professional help.
               If bullying is causing you a lot of stress, seek professional help.
          o
          o   There are also legal steps you can take to help yourself. Investigate your
               There are also legal steps you can take to help yourself. Investigate your
              options thoroughly before making any decisions.
               options thoroughly before making any decisions.
          o
          o   Remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in ..
               Remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in
Follow through...

                                                               Don
                                                                  ’   t gi
                                                                          ve u
                                                                                 p
o Keep up your game, continue to take a stand and
                                                              Bully mu
                                                                       st stop!
  pressure the authority to stop the bully.
o Remain professional.
                                                                             it
                                                                  Demand
o If the bullying is causing you a lot of stress, you
  need to seek professional and legal help.
o Calmly let the bully and your organization (HR,
  your manager or supervisor) know that you are
  stressed and you are going to seek legal advice.
o Remember that there are also legal steps you can take to help you but you must let your HR partner
  and manager know that you will take this route if the bully continues.
o Investigate your options thoroughly before you make any decisions.
o Remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in just like everyone. So,
  demand the friendly environment from your organization.
o If the system i.e. disciplinary hearing, grievance hearing or tribunal fails you, don't be despondent
  about it.
o Keep on fighting, but know when to get to the next stage and make a final decision.
Make a desicion and plan




                             P
                                 Move   New environment
                             l
                             a
                             n




                      Plan




                                        Feel victorious
    Make a decision                     What are your options? Weigh them and
                                        make a decision. Follow up with a plan to
                                        move to a new department or decide that
                                        life is too short and move to a bigger
                                        organization where bullying is not tolerated
                                        in any shape or form.
How to Deal with a Bully at Work: See These 7 Tips
                                                      Action to tackle bullying at work
                                                      Are you being bullied at work? 12 Tell-tale signs
12 Free products
two from each subject category!                       10 Tips on dealing with female bullies at work
                                                      Case histories at bullying online
                                                      How to handle a workplace bully
                                                      Dr. Susan’s guide on surviving the bully at work
                                                      How to deal with bullying at work




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http://catherinescareercorner.com

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7 Tips on Dealing with a Bully at Work

  • 1. 7 Tips on dealing with a BULLY at work 1 Tips 2 3 4 for dealing with a BULLY TEXT 5 6 7 in the workplace TEXT
  • 2. Agenda 7 Tips on dealing with a BULLY at work 1 What is bullying? 2 Who is a bully? 3 How do you know if you are being bullied? 4 You are not alone! ✓ 5 5 5 Deal with a bully: 7 Tips 6 Follow through… 7 Make a decision and plan 8 Resources 9 Q&A Your Logo
  • 3. What is bullying? le i cu e Ra Rid bus Ha ge A te Repeated es ce Blam Rep Dam tatio iolen deliberate u a ge n V A bully will usually attempts to combine various types of belittle, control or behaviour undermine Humiliate someone in an Criticise obvious or subtle manner.
  • 4. Who is a bully? A bully has: A great need to control other people, either openly or indirectly. Usually, a bully thinks they are in a position of authority. In the workplace, a bully could be a manager, supervisor or a colleague. A bully’s action may be driven by envy, fear of inadequacy and insecurity about their own competence. A bully’s behaviour may emerge in their desire to keep any possible rivals down. one
  • 5. How do you know if you feel bullied at work? e If you regularly try and avoid a particular If you regularly try and avoid a particular nc person at work because they put you down or 1 oid a person at work because they put you down or Av undermine you, there is a good chance that undermine you, there is a good chance that Trust your instincts you feel bullied by them. you feel bullied by them. on If you regularly feel intimidated by anyone at If you regularly feel intimidated by anyone at ida ti work or afraid to work near them or have work or afraid to work near them or have anything to do with them or their project, anything to do with them or their project, Int im then you feel bullied by them. then you feel bullied by them. If you regularly get yelled at, criticized, put If you regularly get yelled at, criticized, put down, insulted or frowned upon by anyone at down, insulted or frowned upon by anyone at s ism work, then, you might be at the receiving end work, then, you might be at the receiving end Crit i of bullying at work. of bullying at work.
  • 6. You are not alone! 5 % ied % 3 l g b ul in 0 lly g bu ein 5 B of nce ie er xp No e 5 % ed 1 W i tn ess Data Source: The US National Survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI)
  • 7. Deal with a bully o Assess the situation. Do your homework and find out everything you can o Assess the situation. Do your homework and find out everything you can about bullying in the workplace. about bullying in the workplace. 1 o If it feels like bulling, name it and call it bullying! o If it feels like bulling, name it and call it bullying! o Keep a close eye on what is happening around the situation between you o Keep a close eye on what is happening around the situation between you and the person in question. and the person in question. o o Don’t ignore the situation, it will not make it go away. Don’t ignore the situation, it will not make it go away. o o Evaluate the situation carefully and build a support network. Evaluate the situation carefully and build a support network. 2 o o Discuss the situation with a trusted manager, Human Resources (HR), Discuss the situation with a trusted manager, Human Resources (HR), support manager, colleagues, a mentor or anyone closest to you. support manager, colleagues, a mentor or anyone closest to you. o Confide in someone so that they are aware and can look out for you. o Confide in someone so that they are aware and can look out for you. o Document and keep a log of every time you experience the bullying 3 o Document and keep a log of every time you experience the bullying behavior or situation: document the date, time, name of person(s) present behavior or situation: document the date, time, name of person(s) present and details of the incident. and details of the incident. o If bullying occurs in an email or in any correspondence, keep the o If bullying occurs in an email or in any correspondence, keep the electronic e-mail and file a hard copy. electronic e-mail and file a hard copy. Remember that you are stronger and more resilient than you think!
  • 8. Deal with a bully (contd.) o Don’t play the bully’s game. Don’t stoop to the bully’s level. o Don’t play the bully’s game. Don’t stoop to the bully’s level. o Don’t be baited or set up for any reasons. The bully is looking for a reaction o Don’t be baited or set up for any reasons. The bully is looking for a reaction 4 from you. When they don’t get a reaction, they may relent and stop. from you. When they don’t get a reaction, they may relent and stop. o Ensure that you set limits and confront the bully in the presence of a trusted o Ensure that you set limits and confront the bully in the presence of a trusted third party. Don’t get emotional or blame yourself in the process. third party. Don’t get emotional or blame yourself in the process. o Set limits on what you will tolerate and exercise your right to tell the bully to 5 o Set limits on what you will tolerate and exercise your right to tell the bully to stop the behaviour. stop the behaviour. o Make statements about the bully’s conduct directly to the bully. o Make statements about the bully’s conduct directly to the bully. o Put the bully on notice. Keep up your game, don’t lose your temper or o Put the bully on notice. Keep up your game, don’t lose your temper or composure composure o Calmly let the bully know that you are serious about not allowing them to walk o Calmly let the bully know that you are serious about not allowing them to walk all over you anymore. all over you anymore. • • You must speak to the bully in the presence of a trusted third party or others. You must speak to the bully in the presence of a trusted third party or others. • • Calmly illustrate the behaviour you see the bully exhibit – describe what you see precisely. Calmly illustrate the behaviour you see the bully exhibit – describe what you see precisely. • • Tell the bully exactly how their actions impact your work. Tell the bully exactly how their actions impact your work. • • Tell the bully what behaviors you will not put up with in the future Tell the bully what behaviors you will not put up with in the future • • Stick with your statement and if the bully tries to violate your space, don’t move, rather, stand Stick with your statement and if the bully tries to violate your space, don’t move, rather, stand your ground, maintain eye contact and confront in a professional manner if necessary. your ground, maintain eye contact and confront in a professional manner if necessary.
  • 9. Deal with a bully (contd.) o Put the bully on total blast! If after you have confronted the bully and you haven’t o Put the bully on total blast! If after you have confronted the bully and you haven’t noticed a change, then, it is time for the next step. noticed a change, then, it is time for the next step. 6 o With your documented log, take the issue to your HR and manager. o With your documented log, take the issue to your HR and manager. o Address the issue from a work perspective. Elaborate on how the behaviour is o Address the issue from a work perspective. Elaborate on how the behaviour is affecting your work. Inform both of how important the issue is and must be affecting your work. Inform both of how important the issue is and must be sorted out, then stress your desire to work in a comfortable, safe environment. sorted out, then stress your desire to work in a comfortable, safe environment. o o Know when to have another plan. Know when to have another plan. o o Once you’ve asked for help and nothing changes, you may need to consider Once you’ve asked for help and nothing changes, you may need to consider other options. other options. o o It is important that you think of yourself first. It is important that you think of yourself first. 7 o o o o Don’t stay in a negative environment just to prove a point. Don’t stay in a negative environment just to prove a point. If bullying is causing you a lot of stress, seek professional help. If bullying is causing you a lot of stress, seek professional help. o o There are also legal steps you can take to help yourself. Investigate your There are also legal steps you can take to help yourself. Investigate your options thoroughly before making any decisions. options thoroughly before making any decisions. o o Remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in .. Remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in
  • 10. Follow through... Don ’ t gi ve u p o Keep up your game, continue to take a stand and Bully mu st stop! pressure the authority to stop the bully. o Remain professional. it Demand o If the bullying is causing you a lot of stress, you need to seek professional and legal help. o Calmly let the bully and your organization (HR, your manager or supervisor) know that you are stressed and you are going to seek legal advice. o Remember that there are also legal steps you can take to help you but you must let your HR partner and manager know that you will take this route if the bully continues. o Investigate your options thoroughly before you make any decisions. o Remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in just like everyone. So, demand the friendly environment from your organization. o If the system i.e. disciplinary hearing, grievance hearing or tribunal fails you, don't be despondent about it. o Keep on fighting, but know when to get to the next stage and make a final decision.
  • 11. Make a desicion and plan P Move New environment l a n Plan Feel victorious Make a decision What are your options? Weigh them and make a decision. Follow up with a plan to move to a new department or decide that life is too short and move to a bigger organization where bullying is not tolerated in any shape or form.
  • 12. How to Deal with a Bully at Work: See These 7 Tips Action to tackle bullying at work Are you being bullied at work? 12 Tell-tale signs 12 Free products two from each subject category! 10 Tips on dealing with female bullies at work Case histories at bullying online How to handle a workplace bully Dr. Susan’s guide on surviving the bully at work How to deal with bullying at work rc es ou r ne or es U rC r YO Caree R Ca Fo e’s th eri n OM FR