2. How do we raise Godly children in
an Ungodly world?
“If we don’t raise our children to believe in God the world
will raise them to not believe in God.”
3. What are virtues?
How do we know what standard we are to expect from our
children?
Virtues originate with God
Christian virtues reflect the person of God.
4. So Who is God?
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow
(Hebrews 13:8)
5. Values
Parents need to measure their values against the
standard of God’s Word. First and foremost it is all about
virtue. When Christian virtues are taught to our
children, it triggers a child’s consciousness of God and
eternity. The natural world is seen, heard, felt, smelled
and tasted but the supernatural world is revealed
through quiet and unseen things like Holy Spirit
revelation, faith, and the virtue that reflect both.
ALL Biblical values are a reflection of His character
6. Values
Virtues are what God looks like on the outside and that is
what He asked us to look like (Romans 13:14)
7. Values
Biblical morality serves to reveal God’s call to holiness,
establish a standard of acceptable behavior and reveal sin.
“Christianity is an intimate, growing, relationship
with the person of Jesus Christ. It is not a set of doctrines
to believe, habits to practice, or sin to avoid. Every activity
God commands is to enhance His love relationship with
His people. Religious activity apart from the fellowship
with God is empty ritual.”
-Henry Blackaby
8. Values
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your strength. 6 These
commandments that I give you today are to be on your
hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them
when you sit at home and when you walk along the
road, when you lie down and when you get up.--
Deuteronomy 6:4-7
9. 3 Prinicples of Moral Instruction
Deuteronomy 6:4-7
1. There is only ONE God-Yahweh (first four verses)
He is absolute, and His commands are consistent with His
character
2. ”These words shall be in your hearts” Moral training
starts with YOU (parents)
3. Moral training takes place during normal activities of
the day. By implication, moral truth is best communicated
in periods of non-conflict.
10. Moral Training Sample List
Talebearing/Gossip
Psalm 15:1-3; Proverbs 11:13, 16:28, 17:9, 18:8
Anger/Self control
Proverbs 14:17, 14:29, 15:1, 15:18, 16:32, 25:28
Bad Language
Ephesians 4:29-32; Matthew 5:21-22; James 3:8-10
Lying
Proverbs 6:16-19, 12:19, 12:22; Ephesians 4:25; Colossians 3:9
Stealing/Restitution
Leviticus 6:1-5; Numbers 5:6-7; Proverbs 6:30-31, 28:24; Luke 19:8-9
Vengeance/Forgiveness
Matthew 18:21-35; Mark 11:25-26; Colossians 3:12-14; Ephesians 4:31-32
Laziness
Proverbs 12:24, 13:4, 15:19, 18:9, 20:4, 24:30-34, 26:13-16; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12
Obeying Parents
Ephesians 6:1-2; Colossians 3:20
Pride
Proverbs 8:13, 11:2, 16:5, 14:33, 21:4, 25:27, 29:1; Philippians 2:1-11
11. What are the two evils that threaten
successful parenting?
1. Not understanding the role of husband/wife relationship
2. Child-centered parenting (world tells us it’s right but
Bible clearly states it is wrong)
12. It is not good for man to be alone: I will make
a helper suitable for him” Genesis 2:18
When we look into the context of this verse we find that man in
the truest sense was not alone.
God’s implication in this was that it is not good for man to be
alone as a total person - not just a single aspect of man’s being.
It is not good to be alone
-spiritually
-socially
-emotionally
-physically
13. God provided a companion who was suitable
to meet his intimate needs, one with whom
he could share his life. For this cause, not
only was women created, but the institution
of marriage was designed. Marriage is the
holy reality of two becoming one. God
instituted it first and foremost for the sake of
partnership, and it is described throughout
Scripture as one-flesh union.
14. When a man and women
separate themselves from their
parents, they form a new nucleus
and identity as one unit.
(Ephesians 5:25-33)
15. Very Good
When God created Eve, he declared “it was very good” (Genesis 1:27-31) and
rested from His work.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Children were not present when God declared that His
creation was very good.
By God’s design the husband-wife relationship is the first social relationship
established in Scripture.
By God’s design the husband-wife relationship is primary in the network of
dependent relationships.
The husband-wife relationship must be viewed as the priority relationship in the
family.
Since marriage is the priority relationship, ALL other relationships must be subject
to it.
16. What is child-centered
parenting?
It is easy to become child-centered!
How does child-centered parenting threaten successful
family life?
17. How can we keep the marriage
relationship first?
couch time
date night
couple devotions
physical intimacy
filling up your spouse’s love tank.
One of the GREATEST gifts parents can give their children is the
confidence that Mom and Dad love each other.
18. What does God tell us about love?
(1 John 4:7-8)
What are our love languages specifically designed for us
by God?
1. Acts of Service (John 3:18)
2. Gift Giving (Ephesians 5:25)
3. Words of Encouragement (1 Corinthians 8:1)
4. Quality Time (Jesus spent quality time with God the Father
and His disciples)
5. Physical Touch (Mark 10:13-16)
19. Be Careful!
It is easy to misdiagnose a child’s motives based on how
we interpret his or her actions.
No amount of discipline will be effective if a child’s
emotional needs (especially love) are not met.
20. Love
In order for your children to acknowledge the
preciousness of others, they need to have a sense of
love from you.
When Biblical love is in the life of a child, he or she will
not be held back by the shackles of self-love, self-
interest, and self-protection.
21. Love
WHEN WE LOVE WITH A BIBLICAL LOVE WE RIGHTLY
REPRESENT GOD TO THE WORLD
Everyday we choose to love or not to love. Choosing to love
your spouse in their own love language is a greater act of love
than exercising your own primary love language.
JESUS LOVED US WHEN WE WERE LEAST LOVELY…THAT IS
HOW WE SHOULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
22. One social issue encapsulates all
of the brokenness that we see in
our culture: bad dads.
23. The Father’s Mandate
1. Cultivate a Sense of Family Identity
(trust/acceptance/loyalty)
2. Demonstrate an Ongoing Love for your Wife (how much
trust can I have in a dad who is not continuously loving
my mom?)
24. The Father’s Mandate
3. Understand your Child’s Private World (if you’re there
for the vulnerable moments when they are little, it is
more likely they will turn to you when they are older)
4. Give your Child the FREEDOM to Fail (Joseph failed
many times and his right response each time allowed
God to exalt him)
25. The Father’s Mandate
5. Encourage Your Child
6. Guard Your Tongue and Your Tone (learn to measure
your response against the excitement of your child’s
face)
26. The Father’s Mandate
7. Routinely Embrace Your Child
Holding your child does more than provide security. It
meets special emotional needs that one day will be met by
your child’s mate. For boys, a fathers routine hug and
embrace confirms a son’s sense of masculine…and for
daughters, this is even MORE important.
8. Build Trust on God’s Word
Parenting is a discipleship relationship in which truth
passes from one generation to another.
27. Principles of Obedience
Genesis 22:2-3
Abraham did three things
1.He rose early
2.He prepared himself
3.He did that which God commanded
28. BIBLICAL OBIDENCE IS…
TO BE COMPLETE
IT IS TO BE IMMEDIATE
IT IS TO BE WITHOUT CHALLENGE
WITHOUT COMPLAINT
29. How parents wrongly train to
obedience
1. Threatening/Repeating
In this we are training our children to disobey; they know mommy/daddy will
not displine the first few times something is said.
2. Bribing Parent (lust of the flesh) “If you’re good in the grocery store I
will get you a treat.”
No child will respond to God’s standard if parental resolve for true obedience
is lacking. Taken further, however, it produces ungodly characteristics in our
children such as; self-oriented tendencies and manipulation…
“A bribe blinds the discerning and perverts the words of the righteous”-
Exodus 23:8
30. Principals of Instruction
When you speak to your child that
requires a response, expect it to be
immediate and complete.
Expecting first time obedience of our
children is more of an adjustment
problem for parents than children…
31. Principals of Instruction
Never give a command unless you intend for it to be obeyed
stop and think before you say NO…is it a moral issue?
Provide children with a five minute warning, this helps to not
exasperate your child-Colossians 3:21
We should realize that it creates temptation for our children
when we do not give a five minute warning, to give into pleasures
of the flesh.
32. Principals of Instruction
Remember context (THIS HELPS TO
PREVENT LEGALISM)
As the parent you need to use discernment
when making a moral judgment of the
child’s behavior.
What would be an example of this?
33. Principals of Instruction
Eye Contact and Verbal Response
Having your child looking at you helps them process the
instruction; and this is often half the battle.
“Yes mom,” or “Yes dad” this way you know your child has
heard you and if they do not comply they are choosing to be
disobedient.
34. Principals of Instruction
Agree or disagree?
When a child continually disobeys, he is in sin. When a parent
reinforces that disobedience, they are in sin. God does not
reward sin by doing nothing, neither should we as parents. For
small faults, wisdom may dictate that parents show patience
or give a stern warning, but parents should not consider direct
and wilful defiance trivial.
35. Conclusion
More is caught than taught
Separate moral behavior from non-moral behavior
Discipline with encouragement (verbal/Goal incentives)
Role Play (preactivity)-role play situations before you’re in them!
Use the positive instead of the negative
Reward behavior (Because you were good…is DIFFERENT then, IF
you are good…)
ENCOURAGEMENT TAKES A QUANTUM LEAP WHEN YOU ADD
PHYSICAL TOUCH TO YOUR WORDS OF
