Harassment, intimacy, and rape

1. Sexual issues Harassment, Intimacy, and Rape

2. Reasons Teens Give for Sex My partner puts a lot of pressure on me to have sex. My partner wouldn't want to have sex if he or she didn't love me. If I don't, my partner won't like me anymore. My partner says he/she will leave me if I don't give in. I want to prove that I love my partner. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Romans 13:13 Debauchery is indulgence in sensual pleasures or scandalous activities involving sex, alcohol, or drugs without inhibition.

3. Why Wait? You should focus on your school at this point in your life. Sex can be very distracting and can often get in the way of your goals either by causing an unplanned pregnancy or disease. Abstinence is the only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy. Abstinence is also the only way to keep you free from STDs including gonorrhea and HIV. STDs can haunt you for the rest of your life and being abstinent is the only way to remain disease-free. “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,” Galatians 5:19

4. Why Wait? You may want to show your future spouse how much you love them by being a virgin on your wedding night. Waiting until you marry to have sex is a very special act of love. You may respect yourself more knowing you have the self-control to abstain. Self-esteem is very important and comes from trusting yourself to make the right decisions. You may not be completely sure you love the person you are with. Your partner may be pressuring you to do something that you may not want to do with them. It is important to say no if you are not sure of your feelings toward that person and wait until you are in a committed relationship with someone you know you love and who loves you.

5. Why Wait? You are not ready to have sex at this point in your life. Sex is not something that you should just rush into because others want you to or think you should be doing it. Not being ready is a good reason not to do it. The Bible tells us that sex belongs only in a marriage. It is important for you stand by what you believe to be true. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Ephesians 5:3

6. Hints, cont. Avoid risky situations where things might happen that you will regret later. If you are a girl, make sure you have an emergency plan in place in case your date becomes forceful or violent. The "It won't happen to me," plan is not good enough. Consider group dating - the whole point of dating is learning how to develop growing friendships - not about getting sexually involved. Don't mistake raging hormones for love. They are two entirely different things. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18

7. Sexting – Don’t Do It!!!! Do you want to be a registered sex offender? Creating, transmitting, and even possessing a nude, seminude, or sexually explicit image of a minor can be considered child pornography. Having it on your phone is considered possession. Child pornography is determined by the age of the person IN the picture, NOT the age of the person viewing it. Sexting is being sexually active! You are sharing your body with another individual.

8. Sexual Harassment Sexual harassment can happen to girls and boys. Sexual harassers can be fellow students, teachers, principals, janitors, coaches, and other school officials.

9. Examples Unwelcome touching, grabbing, mooning, flashing, rubbing Suggestive comments, inappropriate compliments, or jokes Sexually explicit pictures, posters, calendars Spreading sexual rumors Requests for sex Intrusive questions about a person's private life or body Insults, name-calling or taunts based on your sex Derogatory graffiti Sexually explicit e-mails, text messages, etc.

10. Example Mary is a student in Mr. Smith’s history class. Mr. Smith is everyone’s favorite teacher, but he has started to make Mary feel uncomfortable. He asks her to come to his room alone after school to discuss her schoolwork. When she shows up, he only talks about how pretty she is and once or twice he put his hand on her knee. He always asks for a hug before she leaves. He is now suggesting that they hold these after school meetings at a café in town. He tells her that she must continue to attend these extra discussion sessions if she wants to earn a good grade in his class.

11. Example Alice gets constant attention from a particular group of boys in her high school. They send her sexually explicit texts, blow kisses at her, and find ways to touch her in the hallway. They wait for her when she gets out of class. They always seem to show up wherever she is. Someone keeps calling her house, asking for her and then hanging up, and Alice is sure it’s those guys. She has even seen them drive by her house in the afternoon. At first, she liked the attention, but it’s starting to embarrass and frustrate her. She’s started to avoid going places she knows they will be.

12. Example Diana’s school team coach is constantly telling her sexual jokes and making suggestive comments. During practice, he whistles and winks at her when she runs by him. Diana told the coach that his behavior makes her uncomfortable, but he responded by saying that she needs to learn how to accept compliments. Recently, he showed her a calendar of bikini-clad female athletes and told her she is sexy enough to pose for such a magazine. She is thinking of quitting the team just to avoid the coach.

13. Harassment? During lunch, your crush tells you he likes your outfit. A guy tells his friends he’s "gotten some" from you and now they ask for "some of that" when you walk by them, which totally embarrasses you. You wear your favorite shirt, which happens to be low-cut, to turn heads at school. A teacher who you really admire—and who you might even have a crush on—tells you that he "likes" you too. You always try to hug a boy you like at school or send him sexually suggestive texts even though he’s told you he’s not interested.

14. Answers During lunch, your crush tells you he likes your outfit.Flirting A guy tells his friends he’s "gotten some" from you and now they ask for "some of that" when you walk by them, which totally embarrasses you.Harassment You wear a cute shirt, hoping to turn heads at a ballgame.Flirting A teacher who you really admire—and who you might even have a crush on—tells you that he "likes" you too.Harassment You always try to hug a boy you like at school or send him sexually suggestive texts even though he’s told you he’s not interested. Harassment

16. Write down what happened, the date it happened, where it happened, and who else may have seen or heard the harassment.

17. Save any texts or pictures the harasser sent you.

19. Violence Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers typically: are inexperienced with dating relationships. are pressured by peers to act violently. want independence from parents. have "romantic" views of love. Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners.

20. Warning signs: Dating violence or abuse affect one in four teens. Abuse isn't just hitting. It's yelling, threatening, name calling, saying "I'll kill myself if you leave me," obsessive phone calling or paging, and extreme possessiveness. Are you going out with someone who... is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you or won't accept breaking up? tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions or not taking your opinion seriously? puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing without him or her? scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses his or her temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you? pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast? abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use them? has a history of failed relationships and always blames the other person for all of the problems? makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety? Don't let it happen to you.

21. Rape

22. Rape Rape (forced intercourse) Acquaintance Rape (someone you know) Date Rape (someone you date) Statutory Rape (Carnal Knowledge of minor) Sexual Assault (inappropriate touches and worse)

23. An estimated 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 6 men have experienced rape or attempted rape. It is estimated that a rape or attempted rape takes place about once very TWO minutes! More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance. DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE A CREEPER!

24. Remember . . . Victims of sexual assault DO NOT cause their assaults. They were not asking for it. Perpetrators (rapists) are always responsible for their behavior. No Consent No Sex RAPE: Short word, long sentence.