1. FROM MlTCHAM ROAD
TO MANDALAY

2. FROM MlTCHAM ROAD TO MANDALAY
By Bill Stoneman
Number 1 Batallion 81 42 Commands
Royal Marine

3. CONTENTS
The Early Years pg 11
Bill’s Father, Bill’s Mother, Brother George (Tiddler),
Brother Jack, Sister Betty, Sister Elsie, Brother Peter ,
Brother Brian,
From Beer to Maternity pg 25
Paper Jack, Duppas Hill Kate
From Mitcham Road to Mandalay pg 43
Wartime & service years as a Royal Marine Commando
Buddy Homan,Vincent Cutting ,Extract from the Guinness
Book of Records ,Official Account of the Battle of Kangaw
From Mandalay to Mitcham Road pg 89
Return to Croydon from active war service as a Royal
Marine Commando, work and the beginning of family life
Old Comrades Reunited pg 129
The Later Years
From Father to Grandfather

4. FOREWORD
Bill met Captain (now Major) Stuart Tulloch at his niece’s wedding.On
learning that Bill was a Royal Marine Commando they chatted for a long
time. On hearing Bill’s account of his days in active service, Stuart made
clear to Bill the value of his story. That conversation provided the inspira-
tion for him, at the age of 78, to enrol at a local college to learn basic com-
puter skills, and then commit to documenting his account of his life from
his earliest memory through to today.
This is Bill’s story…
His world was one where hunger, slum conditions, child and wife abuse
were suffered by many. ‘The Good Old Days’ say some. The much-crit-
icised National Health service, created by the late Aneurin Bevan, is
still the finest in the World. This is a truth, which after 40 years of care
and suffering from acute bronchitis and emphysema, caused by the
bitter cold, under nourished childhood and youth, followed by the rig-
ours of his service life. The building trade in which he spent a lifetime,
and endured the primitive conditions. Workers were given no protec-
tive clothing or facilities to dry rain–soddened clothing, or to get hot
food and drink. Fatalities at the workplace equalled, and sometimes
exceeded, the accidents suffered by the mining industry.
Always a badly organised occupation it was always a hard battle to
wring any concessions from the employers. These were won by bitter
strikes and confrontation, often at a cost to the families of the men,
who were placed on the mercies of the workhouse charities. It is to
these men, who stood out for their rights, a debt of gratitude is owed
7

5. In those days there were no problems with racism, drugs or muggings. money. Adding and subtracting half crowns, half pence and farthings.
The old people were respected and walked the streets in comparative Decimalisation has made sums so much simpler. Class room brutal-
safety. Immigrants were mainly white Colonials. Front doors were kept ity has now been banned, the cane, the strap; the practice of teachers
on a string pulled through the letter box; this released the catch on the hurling pieces of chalk across the class room is no longer allowed. The
door. The milk money along with the insurance man’s money were left art of pre-recording a video is an operation way beyond Bill’s ability,
on the table in the hallway. yet his youngest Grandson could do it from the tender age of eight.
Bill, in todays language, would be called a chauvinist pig and a Even this word processor Bill is using they handle with the greatest
homophobe, a relic of the golden age when men were men and women skill, even to the extent of putting their Grandfather right when he
were glad of it. Years ago homosexuality between consenting adults gets stuck! There is of course, a vast difference in their life styles. Not
was given legality, then came the lowering of the age of consent, twice for them rising at 5am to do a paper round; being taken to school in
in quick succession. Forgive Bill’s cynicism but how long will it be be- a car, warm clothes, hot meals at mid-day and teachers that do not
fore it is made compulsory? believe in the use of the cane. Sports facilities are of the highest qual-
Long gone are the days when Auntie BBC banned even the mildest ity, and they are taught by competent coaches in some schools. Every
expletive, like ‘bloody’. Today our television screens are saturated with year professional footballers, cricketers, tennis players and golfers with
porn, explicit sexual acts of gratuitous violence and foul language. coaching abilities go on the dole. Why Bill asks can they not be used
A new breed of failed footballers, golfers and cricketers are used to train the wealth of talent that lies untapped in our country? It is a
as commentators, with accents almost unintelligble. Add to this the brutal truth that it is only the rich man’s sons that can afford to buy the
hours of inane commercials which occupy as much screen time as the services of top class coaches. From Eton, Harrow, Magdalene, Oxford
programmes. and Cambridge, to name but a few.
To be caught lying or fiddling is an open sesame to a spot on the One thing Bill is certain of, and that is ‘No government ever gave
box. As Arthur Daley says in the Minder series, ‘the world’s your lobster!’ pensioners £200 to pay their fuel bill before’. Folk would do well to
When John Logie Baird invented the wonders of television he cre- remember one fact. It is the Labour Party that gave people the afflu-
ated a monster, a machine so powerful that those addicted to watching ence to think Tory.
were named ‘square eyes’. It was predicted to be ‘a licence to print your Opinion polls are one big phoney. Now in his 84th year, Bill has
own money’ and so it proved. Television has brought a new dimen- never been approached by a National Opinion pollster. Neither in in
sion to teaching, and has opened a whole new world. Children are his wide circle of friends has one of them been questioned, and he has
computer-wise at a very early age, but playing endless hours of games had many friends and aquaintances in his long life.
on them must have an adverse effect on them. Calculators make maths
easy and Bill wonders how schools would cope with the old English
8 9

6. THE EARLY YEARS
THE FATHER
Born in London’s East End near Liverpool Street, he worked in service
for gentry. He left this job to join the 17th 21st Lancers. Served in ww1
in what he called German East Africa under General Ian Smuts who
was C.in.C of that war zone. His job a groom. He was infected several
times with malaria, and suffered recurring bouts in his later years. To
lessen the effects of this fever he took large doses of quinine. He also
served in France and said he was gassed at Ypres. He suffered from
chronic bronchial asthma and emphysema. There were no breathing
aids like nebulizers in those days, so he tried to gain relief by eating
Vicks vapour rub jelly, this did no good as an expectorant.
He met Bill’s Mother when she was working as a barmaid in the Red
Deer public house, where she fell in love with the handsome man in
the lancers uniform. According to her sisters, he brutalised her then,
throwing her down stairs whilst she was pregnant with her first child.
(Is this, Bill wonders, the cause of his dislike Of his Father). This act of
brutality brought about a legal separation, foolishly she relented and
went back to him.
He had a good knowledge of horses, and dressed the animals that
pulled the milk floats when they entered Regents Park horse show. He
could treat horses harness sores with a fair success rate. Bill recalls see-
ing him, stripped to his waist, smearing his arm from hand to shoulder
with axle grease, entering the horses back side pulling out vast quanti-
ties of straw mixed with coal dust thus clearing the animals bowels.
Whilst performing these operations Bill held the animal by tying a
twitch to it’s nose, and as an added precaution tied it’s foreleg to a post
to stop it from kicking. Brother Tiddler had the job of holding the cats
whilst the old man castrated them, this operation was carried out with
his cut throat razor. For the female cat a red hot sewing needle was
used. Had the RSPCA known, he must surely have gone to jail. He
10 11

7. was also proficient at puppy tail docking and turning cats into manx left wing politics and was known as Ramsey MacDonald, the Prime
cats by docking their tails. He kept a large number of rabbits, this Minister of the day. The family had an extra treat when the old man
helped the family larder but needed vast amounts of dandelion leaves, acquired a cat’s whisker wireless run on accumalator batteries This con-
collecting them in all kinds of weather was a most hated chore. traption gave poor reception with much crackling The family listened
It was Bill’s first memory of a brutal Father who, when he came home to the Tommy Farr vs Joe Louis epic which was held in New York at
in a drunken rage, would belt the boys with the buckle end of his strap, 2am in the morning, with his usual alarm call, he would pull back the
being the eldest Bill would get the biggest hiding of them all. Bill’s bed clothes and pour a cup of icy cold water over their privates. This
parents rented two rooms from a woman called Maud Coleman, and method was used with a doggerel, ‘Get your hands off your cocks and
she lived in Old Town Croydon, opposite the slum rat, lice and bug on with your socks’, or another favourite, ‘Rise and shine the mornings
infested shanty town called Pump Pail. Unemployment was rife. Bill’s fine’. This led to Tiddler saying, ‘why do you make us go to bed when
Mother had to attend the relief offices called the UAB. The full name we are not tired, and make us get up when we are?’ He loved a bet on
was the Un-employment Assistance Board. Here she was given vouch- the horses and on the rare occasions he had it off (won), he would lash
ers for coal, groceries and bedclothes. These were promptly taken to out on new clobber for the family. This meant new hob nail boots and
the pawn shop where the guv’nor would assess the value of the clothes. white roll neck pullovers. They were on a certain clip round the ear if
Still his Father always found money for beer. His philosophy towards the toes were scuffed kicking a ball. Sometimes they were allowed to
his wages was, beer money first, what’s left is yours. He could consume stand outside the local pub The Surrey Cricketers, and when his mates
vast quantities of booze! When he came home the boys fought over the came out half cut they would give the boys their odd coppers, this felt
stale sandwiches he had left in his pockets, but first they scraped off like Christmas to the boys.
the thick layer of mustard he used. The whole family had to keep dead One agony they had to endure was his hair cutting, not so much a
silence whilst he was asleep and on Sundays they were made to go to hair cut, more of a plucking. The antiquated clippers used to pull their
Sunday school. It was a ritual that he took the News of the World to hair out by the roots and to complain earned them a shout of ‘stand
bed, their Mother would follow him upstairs and another Stoneman bloody still’, along with a hefty whack round the ear. Most times he
was on the way. gave them a ‘tuppenny all off’ which made them look like convicts,
Discussing this in later years Bill’s Sister Elsie asked her Mother why this led to a lot of ‘mickey taking’ from their school mates. It had
she did this, when clearly she did not love him, the mum replied ‘I was one saving grace – the fleas and the lice did not like it, and it made
his wife, it was my job’. He would never call Bill by name but refer Nitty Nora’s job so much easier. She was the nurse in charge of vermin
to him as bushel head, bacon bonce, and big head, then say ‘you ain’t control. This operation she carried out with a white sheet and a fine
got a big head, go down the shop and get four loaves, and six pounds toothed comb.She also dealt with the ‘Mothers and Babies’ the cock-
of taters in your hat’. Amongst his pub cronies he was noted for his ney rhyming slang for Scabies. This horrible infection was caused by
12 13

8. THE MOTHER
insanitory conditions. This skin complaint was treated with a medica- She spent a life time of worrying, trying to find food for an ever
tion known as genetian violet, it also left sufferers with ugly sores. ravenous brood. Her finger nails were bitten down to the quick with
The Father’s hatred of Bill was almost paranoid and stayed that way worry and fear of her brutal husband. The boys had to carry notes to
until he died, even to go as far as banning Bill from his bed side when the neighbours like beggars, asking them to lend their Mum two shil-
he was dying from emphysema. He always claimed his chest disease lings with which to buy the old man’s dinner. This meal oft times fin-
was caused by being gassed in the Great War, but in truth it was caused ished up being hurled into the back of the fireplace, where he would,
by the rank strong tobacco he smoked, and by working in the rain and in his drunken stupor, fall asleep snoring like a pig. In spite of this she
bitter cold snow with no change of clothing. The old man took his ha- still sang the old time ballads, these same songs had beautiful lyrics,
tred to the grave, refusing to see Bill even on his death bed. It was only most of them telling sad stories of lost loves. These melodies were to
after tearful pleading from his Mother that he relented and attended live in the boys memories until they were old men. After coping with
the funeral. Bill never forgave nor forgot. her own work, which consisted of huge piles of other peoples washing
The scars of the brutal treatment he had received from his Father and ironing, in this chore Bill would often get the gut wrenching job
would live in his memory forever. The old man’s favourite joke was ‘my of turning the handle of the big iron mangle, a device that squeezed
old woman’s a dirty cow, every time I go to piss in the sink it’s full of the moisture when the clothes were put in the wooden rollers. Then
tea leaves’. after black leading the stove, she hearth stoned her front door step, this
was made gleaming white, her pride and joy and the envy of the neigh-
bours. These jobs done, she walked four or five miles to scrub and dust
in the houses of the better off ladies, she was in fact a char lady. Here
at least she could find warmth, a hot meal and a cup of tea. For an
added bonus there would be stale bread and cakes to take home, meat
and fish that would go rotten for lack of refrigeration. Stale or not, the
grub was eaten with gusto. In spite of a life time of abuse and worry
she was always there with her ‘kiss it better remedy’ a cut or bruised
knee, black eyes, toothaches and ear aches in the absence of pain killers
and antibiotics, they found some relief in her ample bosom.
When Bill started work he would bring home his wages and his
Mother would give him two and sixpence pocket money. He would
then take a bath in a galvanised tub in front of the fire. Spick and span
he went upstairs to get his new suit bought from ‘Burtons the Fifty
14 15

9. BROTHER GEORGE (TIDDLER)
Bob Tailor’ on tick, repayments were a shilling a week. To his dismay Tiddler had a very cruel nature, he would pull the wings off blue bot-
the suit was gone, it had been pawned by his Mother, that meant no tles and smaller flies, and he would bury roadpeckers (pigeons) up to
Saturday night pictures, no kiss and cuddle in the back row, no Friday their neck in the back garden. Another cruel trick he used to perform
night treat of pie and beans in Bunnie’s cafe. She never knew what was to insert a straw in a frog and blow the poor creature up. He would
a holiday was until she was widowed, never saw a show, her life was put the cat under his arm and say ‘listen to this I’m going to play the
devoted to her family. Her first treat was when Bill took her to see the bag pipes’ he would then proceed to bite the cats tail until it screamed
Australian singer Frank Ifield, she sat enraptured, exclaiming ‘ain’t he in agony. Bill had many fights with him, but it was to no avail.
bleeding luvverly’. A weeks stay with her sister in Eastbourne and a few He used to assist his Father in castrating the cats, this was referred to
bob to have a bet with, must have seemed like heaven to her. These in an earlier chapter. It seems he was the old man’s favourite, and his
were the first of many treats she enjoyed in later years. They don’t make call up for service was delayed. He was detailed to work on the bomb
Mums like her any more, on top of all this she was a wondefil cook. damage of London, and worked along side his Father on this project.
Her stews, meat and bacon puddings were the greatest in the world. This meant good wages for them both, not that it did their Mother
Such was the poverty of Bill’s family they rarely knew the luxury of any good, the old man’s contribution was as measly as ever. Tiddler
new clothing, they had to wear other peoples cast-offs, even to the ex- could have obtained exemption from the Armed Forces, because his
tent of the boys having to wear girls shoes. In desperation she had to work was classified as essential but to his credit he opted for call up.
go to the ‘chat’, relief or assistance board. Here she was given vouchers Tiddler was always mechanically minded, he was forever tinkering
for coal, groceries and bed clothes. These were promptly taken to the with watches and clocks, he could make an old bicycle out of a heap
pawn-shop where Alf the guv’nor would assess the value of the clothes, of spare parts. He served in the Royal Engineers in WW2, and saw serv-
the money from this she used to buy food and after, the old man was ice in Italy, Sicily North Africa and in Germany. It was here he met,
given the best meal. She in truth took the bread from her own mouth courted and married his Wife Elsa, she was to bear him one son and
to ensure her family did not go hungry. Often when the old man was two daughters. He was a workaholic and worked all the over-time he
in his cups, he would take on the guise of a caring Dad and plead with could get. The long hours must have shortened his life, for he suffered
his off-spring with what must have been crocodile tears ‘To take care from high blood pressure and died peacefully in his bed.
of your poor old Mum when I’m gone’, some thing he never ever did Later in life, when he was incapacitated, Bill would pick him up in
himself. He need not have worried, her family took good care of her his car and take him for a drink in the British Legion. His wife in her
until the day she died. Starved of affection from their Father they may broken English would ask Bill, ‘Are you going down to the Foreign
have been, but from her they had love by the bucketful. Legion?’ On the day of his funeral, Croydon was lashed by one of the
fiercest storms in Bill’s memory.
It was as if the heavens were giving him their welcome.
16 17

10. BROTHER JACK
The best loved of the family, always good humoured, good hearted and of a wide boy told Jack ‘I was down the chat today (chat is the slang for
generous, worked for years as a roof tiler and slater. Then he drove fur- Labour Exchange) and the geezer says to me what are you?’ Jim replied
niture removal van with long time mate Joe Penfold. They both had a ‘I’m a Cole Porter’, and quick as a flash Jack said ‘What did he say? OK
keen eye for the items of value that were discarded by their customers. then, write me a song?’
They sold the unwanted items of furniture to a second hand dealer that Brother Jack, after his retirement met regularly with Brother Bill
specialised in this type of trade. It was amazing the amount of saleable at No 63 Euston Road. This was at Sister Elsie’s request. She almost
items that were left behind, this all constituted ‘beer money’ . pleaded with her Brothers not to leave her out. There she would sit,
From there Jack worked for years as driver for Croydon Corporation on her settee with her constant companion Sheba, her dog who always
dust carts as a driver, here he sustained a nasty back injury, causing him had a friendly lick on the face for newcomers. The one thing Brother
to retire. He was diagnosed as having a chronic heart condition. These Jack and Elsie shared, was a talent for mimicry. Jack, ever a good story
afflictions he bore with his usual style. Bill and his sons would rise at 4 teller, made every one roar with laughter with his tales, whether it was
am and play golf together, on what they termed the ‘dawn patrol’. It was told in a Jamaican, Spanish or Irish accent.
so early in the morning even the birds were not awake. When they did Another talent Jack acquired was in house decorating, often re-pa-
they joined together to give Bill, Jack and the boys the music of their pering a room for her.
dawn chorus. All the family were heartbroken to
Jack had a singing voice that could have earned him a living profes- lose Brother Jack, he was as the saying
sionally, with that went a style of comedy that could have an audience goes ‘something else’. His son Mark has
in stitches. He was in great demand in the clubs and pubs, and often inherited his father’s talent for singing
performed with his son Mark in the Railway Man’s club, a terrific duo. and is often called upon to give a song
Jack had a massive heart attack at the age of Fifty seven. This did not in the local or in the club.
change his happy go lucky style.
Sadly Jack died at the age of sixty seven when he succumbed to an-
other massive heart attack. During his long illness he was full of praise
for the care he was given by the doctors and staff of Mayday University
Hospital, a view shared by his wife Jean, who said they had given them a
ten year bonus on his life. It is said a man’s popularity can be measured Brother Jack
by the number of mourners at his funeral, if that is true then Brother
Jack was a well loved man. A tale about the spontaneous wit of Jack that
Bill feels it is worth telling, goes like this; Jimmy Turner, who was a bit
18 19

11. SISTER BETTY
Sister Betty left home early, and joined the Women’s Land Army early Free from the domination of her Father she blossomed into well-
in the war, where she met her husband Fred, and was married in Ifield groomed lady with a lovely sense of fun. She had a gift for mimic-
near Crawley. After the war they emigrated to Australia there they ry, and could adopt any mimic, in any dialect she chose. Very good
raised a family. hearted with her money, and cared for her Mother until she died, and
Bill had only his Sister Elsie to relay news from Sister Betty, so un- remained all her life a spinster. After her Mother died she was threat-
fortunately he has no contact with her. He was told by his Sister Elsie ened with eviction from her council house, and Brother Bill sought
that they enjoyed a very happy life in Australia. legal advice. Croydon Council reversed its decision on the grounds of
family rights to tenancy.
She eventually bought the house under the right to buy scheme,
SISTER ELSIE thereby ensuring her tenancy rights. She took her younger Brother
Brian under her care, but, due to his excessive drinking, this kindness
Sister Elsie was very timid and very close to her Mother, she was so ended in tears. In spite of him being out of work, she fed him, kept his
scared of her Father she cried when he shouted at her, she would sit by clothes washed, gave him money to buy his beer. For a while it seemed
the fire place, nervously twisting her hair with her fingers. This treat- he was changing his ways. He fitted a new bathroom suite, a new
ment may have led her to turn to religion. When she introduced a boiler and a new kitchen layout. None of this without being well paid
black Preacher to her Father he made fun for his labour. He was caught driving under the influence of drink,
of him in a sarcastic way. The preacher and fined four hundred pounds. She paid his fine and gave him money
sounded his aitches in the wrong places to re-insure the car. He then was threatened with prison over unpaid
and after that, the old man called him taxes, this also she paid. She felt that because he was the baby of the
‘Mr Honions’. This was a phase she went family the old Mum would have wanted her to do this. There were no
through and she reverted to her normal thanks from him, all she got was a mouthful of abuse and told that
ways. In her later years she became much she was a greedy selfish woman. Bill knew what he was because he had
more sure of herself, and after the old man worked with him. Enough was enough, in the end she told him to get
died she became closer than ever to her out. Elsie became an ardent fan of an Irish country and western band,
Mother. She had several men friends, but the Brendan Shine Group and spent many happy hours at his gigs. Here
scorned offers of marriage because she she was a very popular member of his fall club and, while she lay dy-
would not leave her old mum. For a number of years she worked for ing, he was kind enough to phone her with the band to wish her well.
British Rail, until she was made redundant. She then worked until her Her bad luck continued, she met Scot from Fort William, and Elsie,
retirement at the Immigration Home Office in Croydon. forever a soft touch, fell for a hard luck story he told her and lent him
20 21

12. BROTHER BRIAN
money, needless to say he never repaid her. Brian the baby of the family was thoroughly spoilt, and was a heavy
Sadly she died from cancer, and did not live to enjoy the retirement smoker and drinker, which led to his premature death. He worked
she so richly deserved. When she was told her illness was terminal she with his Brother Bill who taught him his trade as a plumber, and he
sobbed in Brother Bill’s arms and posed the question ‘Why me?’ She was a very good tradesman. However, when he found out his wife had
was in death, as in her life, a very generous person, she left her whole been unfaithful to him he went to pieces and became an alcoholic. His
estate to her nephews sons and Bill’s daughter, her niece. She was laid divorce was acrimonious and he never saw the three Sons, whom he
to rest in the same grave as her Mum. Bill is sure that is what she would idolised, ever again.
have wanted. He was facing a prison sentence for drunken driving and another for
income tax arrears, and his soft hearted sister paid these fines for him.
She got no thanks for that, instead, she was abused once more with
BROTHER PETER foul language.
He suffered a fatal heart attack whilst driving his car in Purley, he
Born during the war years Peter took on the role of the elder son with was just passed his fiftieth birthday. Poor Brian had inherited the same
Brothers Bill and George both away on active service. It was now he legacy of hate from their Father.
who had to endure the work load on his own, i.e. cleaning out the rab-
bit hutches and the hen coop, added to this he had to walk miles to
gather dandelion leaves for their food.
These tasks performed earned him more abuse and cuffs from the old
man, and Peter was always very thin, hardly an ounce of flesh on his body.
He would bravely attempt to face up to the old man and almost
in tears his bottom lip would protude in a futile gesture of defiance
thus earning him the nickname of ‘Stickum’. This name was given to
Brother Brian later on. The treatment he endured Brother Bill could
relate to, after all, had he not suffered the in the same way?
After the war Peter married and moved to Ifield near Crawley and
raised a family. Self taught, he became a valued worker, but like his
Brother George he became a workaholic. This led to his death from
heart related stress. He, like Bill, never forgave nor forgot.
22 23

13. FROM BEER TO MATERNITY
Bill’s first memory of childhood was sleeping three in a bed, with-
out proper bed clothes, they had ex-army greatcoats and overcoats for
blankets.
It was a bug-infested room where the wallpaper was alive with bugs
bigger than the biggest ladybird – to be bitten left huge sores on the
body. Bill and his Brother George (nick-named Tiddler because he wet
the bed) slept four to a bed (two at the head and two at the foot). His
Mother was heavily pregnant with his sister Betty. They were burn-
ing newspaper in the fireplace and the chimney caught fire. The fire
Brigade came on the scene and tackled it like it was the blazing in-
ferno. They made a horrendous mess putting their hoses full jet down
the chimney stack, the house was flooded in over three-foot deep wa-
ter, and their poor old Mum, heavily pregnant, was trying to mop it
up. King Canute had better luck! It was also the first memory of their
brutal Father who, when he came home in a foul rage, would belt the
boys with the buckle end of his strap, being the elder Bill would get the
biggest hiding of them all.
Bill’s parents rented two rooms from a woman named Maud Coleman,
they scrounged what money they could by scavenging in Surrey Street
market for ‘specs’ – these were half-rotten fruit that had been discarded
by the stall holders, or boxes they could chop up for firewood. This
money went to their Mother to buy food.
They were then re-housed on a new council estate in Upper Norwood,
where it was a common sight to see the poor sods evicted by the bail-
iffs for rent arrears. Work was scarce, so it was a common sight to
see the evictee’s furniture strewn all over the green; those bailiffs were
cold-hearted bastards, some thing like the present day traffic wardens.
Up on the hill stood the Percy Lake Mission Hall with his banner
proclaiming the words ‘Abandon hope all ye who enter here.’ or ‘God
24 25

14. is Love’. This was to become their compulsory Sunday school, where There were no mechanical digging machines in those days, so the small-
their cards were stamped to entitle them to a days outing to the sea- est of sites would need half a dozen labourers, or to call them by their
side at Dymchurch. The boys rarely qualified for this, they were always proper name-navvies. Bills Father’s first stop after work would be a pub
hopping the wag i.e. playing truant. where he would sink half a dozen pints of beer. His Uncle Tom had
Maybe it was Percy’s brand of ‘hell fire and brimstone’ preaching that married a gypsy girl, who lived in a caravan that stood in the yard in
put them off. Percy shared the view of the late General Sir William Napier Road. (This site has since been taken over by London Transport
Booth of the Salvation Army. ‘Why should the devil have all good and is now a bus garage). When the boy visited old Granny Dennard
tunes!’ (she was the tribal queen) and sat in an ornate and garishly painted
The boys joined in with gusto to the hymn ‘The best drink of all is caravan, her fingers covered in gold rings and diamond bracelets; she
water’, a sentiment not shared by their Father for sure. The boys drank did not trust banks. In the yard was a huge cast iron cauldron heated
plenty of it, they had to, their Mother owed the milkman too much by a wood fire and in the pot was a huge stew. She offered Bill some
money to afford his milk. Bill the eldest boy rose at five am to help the but he declined (having heard that Gyppo’s ate hedgehogs that had
milkman with his round, his wages were used to pay off the big milk been baked in clay!). When Bill left she gave him a gold sovereign, this
bill. He soon changed to another milkman. Getting up at this hour was snatched by his Father for beer. Gypsies favoured Biblical names
meant he would often fall asleep in school. for their children, names such as Hannah, Eli, Jacob and Isaiah.
One of the horrors of childhood was facing the tally-man (the credit About this time Bill lost his second younger Brother named Tommy
salesman), you could buy shoes and clothes for six-pence per week; with pneumonia, a regular killer disease of that time.
these items were promptly taken up to ‘Uncles’ i.e. the pawn-brokers. His Uncle Tom and Aunt Rose succumbed to the virus; they died leav-
When the tallyman called they had to answer the door and tell him ing their three sons orphaned. His second cousin was named Absolem,
Mum says ‘she’s sorry she’s got nothing for you this week’, but he would he made headlines in the local rag when he purchased a new suit and
reply ‘she said that last week’. She then, would put her head round the a rope and hanged himself in the Guards barracks in Caterham, where
corner and reply ‘and to save you coming next week it will be the same he was employed as a boiler room attendant. Like his Brother Henry
again’! In work or out their Father was a ‘navvy’ ganger and good at he suffered from epilepsy. The Coroner brought in a verdict unknown
his job. With the general foreman he marked out the profiles for the in this present time ‘suicide whilst of unsound mind’.
footings of the houses, theodolites weren’t used then, just boning rods Their poor old Mum still suffered his violence and prayed regularly
and pegs, and in truth an efficient ganger man ran the site. He was to the good Lord to take her and end her misery. Glad to say he never
timekeeper, site clerk, drain layer, and also kept a record of the men’s listened to her.
subs (this was money borrowed in advance of their wages), these were Bill was doing quite well at school and was considered bright enough
always a week in arrears. to be scholarship material, but his Father insisted he be placed on
26 27

15. the labour market. He took the view that his children should work through the air.
and keep him, their education and future meant nothing to him. The Things did not improve for Bill’s Mother; the old man still found
school leaving age was fourteen years, but pupils could leave at the money for his booze and tobacco. In his local pub he was known as
nearest quarter, so the boy could leave at thirteen and a half. Bills first Ramsey MacDonald, after the current Prime Minister, mainly because
job was as an errand boy pushing a tricycle for a cleaning firm. His of his left wing views. He was very racist and called Irishmen turks and
wages were nine shillings per week, eight shillings of which went to his any one north of Watford ‘swede gnawers’. He also enjoyed the com-
Mother. This life style did not suit Bill and he was determined to carve pany of the ladies of easy virtue that frequented the public houses. Bill’s
out a better way to earn his living, and the way to do it was by learn- Mother called them ‘dirty old Messers’, this from Shakespeare’s Roman
ing a trade. He was aware of the difficulties this posed; it had already wife of Julius Caesar, a woman of loose morals. These accusations only
been made known to him, the rule of the closed shop. Apprenticeship served to get her another vicious hiding from her brutal husband.
was not open to him, and Bill’s efforts at self-education were treated Then came a welcome respite for Bill. He was sent to his ailing grand-
with scorn by his Father and he was given no encouragement at all. Mother’s home to run errands and help in any way he could. This,
This drove him to try even harder to teach himself a trade, he often felt with new warm clothing, clean sheets, plentiful food like meat pies,
depressed at the hard going, but persevered in his efforts. stews and bacon-puddings – to Bill it was like Shangri-la.
Schooldays were not happy times for the boys, Rockmount School By this time Bill was employed as a paper delivery boy by W.H.Smith
resented the influx of the re-housed slum dwellers with their handed & Son on Sanderstead station and was up at five am every morning,
down clothing, and shoes, lined with cardboard which did nothing to winter and summer, and after school he did an evening round, this
keep out the snow and rain. Sometimes the boys had to wear second money went to his Granny to help pay for his keep.
hand girls shoes with hook and eye lace ups, this led to more jeers Near the station was a parade of shops, into the bakers for three-
and sneers and more humiliation. The head teacher, a mean featured pence-worth of stale bread, for this he took a small pillowcase and a
martinet with a passion for dishing out punishment wielded his canes penn’orth of stale cakes and he would take the biggest creamiest one
with unholy and savage venom. He almost slavered at the mouth when for himself. If he was lucky he would get four white loaves and only
he dished out his brutal punishment, he would have made a first rate one brown loaf, brown bread wasn’t liked.
Nazi SS Officer. Into the butchers for three penn’orth of breast of mutton, three
The cruel jibes of the other kids were hard to bear and led to fighting, pen’orth of pieces for a stew, and some pork rind and bones, this with
most of which was done by Bill. This brought him before the much- split peas made delicious soup.
feared head who, true to form called the wrong-doers to the stage in Then to the fish-monger, for three penn’orth of wet fish and three-
the hall. The glow in his eyes made him look like a starving man seeing penn’orth of dry kippers or bloaters and, finally, to the grocers for a
a full roast beef dinner. He positively drooled as he swished his cane penny ham bone and some streaky bacon. He also took a basin for
28 29

16. some cracked eggs. ‘If you haven’t any cracked we’ll crack them our- go into the Red Deer pub for his pint of ale then home for his dinner.
selves!’ All this in the days before refrigeration, the perishable goods Often the boy would go across to the off-licence to get him a quart of
had to be sold before they went rotten. Another cheap food was a pigs ale, there were no restrictions on serving beer to children in those days.
head, this made a delicious brawn, and for a stew they had calves and In the kitchen come scullery stood a triplex type stove that was coal or
sheep heads. His maternal grandparents were hard working, kindly wood fired with a kettle always on the boil and a big cast iron pot full
people. The GrandFather worked as plate-layer on the Railway, as did of bones making a delicious gravy stock for stews, and in the oven were
the two eldest sons, who were both train drivers, and when they retired baked delicious steak and kidney pies and scrumptious apple pies.
they had served over one hundred and sixty years in man and boy serv- It had a red hot grill on which you could toast the stale bread and
ice. The elder son was a driver on the Brighton line and always gave a liberally spread it with dripping, made from the fat off the sunday
blast on his horn when he passed his Mum’s house. ‘There’s our Will’ joint. With this kind of diet Bill bloomed, except for the odd bout of
she would say. They had four sons and three daughters; the boy’s were tonsillitis, treated by Gran by wrapping a sweaty sock round his neck.
the second and oldest. The grand-Father kept an allotment that bore Then through a rolled newspaper tube Gran would blow vile tasting
a bountiful harvest of vegetables each year, potatoes, marrows onions sulphur powder down Bill’s throat. Antibiotics were not discovered
luscious runner beans and carrots, most of which went to the daugh- then, and most of these remedies were of gypsy origin, but still quite
ters to feed their ever-hungry families. Their new found lodger made effective. An often-used remedy for a chest infection was to smother
his contribution by collecting horse manure in his two wheeled hand- the patient’s chest with camphorated oils, a pungent smelling con-
cart, horses were used extensively in those days. He made this a dual coction. Alternatively plaster Russian tallow on the chest then cover
operation by collecting the dung on his paper round. it with brown paper (as previously mentioned, antibiotics were not
He used to watch his grandfather in amazement, eating a kipper and available at this time). Many varied cures and remedies were tried, for
not leave a single bone on his plate! After a week he realised that Peter, ear-ache (chew a wad of tobacco add place in the ear – ear-ache was an
a long haired mongrel off-shoot of a sheep-dog, was sitting between his insufferable pain).
legs scoffing the bones head and tail of the kipper. A visit to the dentist was an experience to be avoided, no medieval
Bill took the dog with him on his paper round for exercise, the dog executioner was as brutal as the dentists of the day. It’s small wonder
was too lazy to walk, he rode most of the way in the barrow but they people of Bill’s generation were dead scared of the dentist. Bill recalls
built up a great bond of affection between them. his Father’s treatment of a loose tooth. His method was to tie one end
Every morning his grandFather would put a huge tea spoonful of ep- of a piece of string to the tooth, then tie the other end to the handle of
som salts in his tea to act as a laxative; the second cup would be heav- the door, which he would slam violently shut.
ily laced with sugar and he would then pour a big saucer-full for the Bill had now settled in his new school known by its new name, Purley
dog which he would lap up noisily. Regularly his grandfather would Oaks School, it had previously been known as Bynes Road School.
30 31

17. They were happy days for him and he made many new friends and was experienced a strict upbringing from his parents, who it seemed were
delighted when he was selected to play for the school soccer team, gone ardent church-goers. Bill and his siblings never knew their paternal
was the fear of bullying and snide sarcasm. He saw his Mother once grandparents, and never saw a picture of them.
a week when she walked from Upper Norwood to South Croydon Their Mother was still subject to the old man’s brutal behaviour, yet
pushing a pram with two kids and Brother ‘Tiddler’ walking along side she still nursed him when he suffered the severe attacks of emphysema,
crying from the cold. She came to get what ‘goodies’ she could from brought on by a bout of malaria. He would stand on the stairs beneath
his Granny, a sack of coal dust and logs for the fire, vegetables from the window on a freezing cold night, gasping for breath, and at the
his grandFather’s allotment, scrag ends of meat, margarine and flour, same time eating a vapour rub called ‘vic’, this he ate by the spoon-
anything to make a meal. His Gran had a heart as big as a house. His ful in a vain attempt to clear his bronchial tubes. Linctus type cough
Mum would make the long weary up-hill journey home, oft times in mixtures were of no help to the breathing at all. Bill often heard his
the pouring rain or freezing snow. Organisations for the protection Mother say ‘The good Lord pays debts without money’.
of battered wives did not exist in those days, if the police were called, His poor Mother suffered agony from bouts of neuralgia, brought
they did nothing, they described it as a domestic incident. His Father’s on no doubt by constant worry. Her face swelled up to a hideous size,
treatment of his kids would have meant certain prison under today’s her devotion was to be marvelled at, and this care was lavished on the
child abuse act, as would his last headmaster who, by the way was al- old man until the day he died. Bill went to work for a cleaning firm;
legedly caught fiddling the golf club funds – so much for his unctuous his wages were nine shillings a week, eight shillings of this went to his
moralising in the school hall. It transpired that he was found guilty of Mother. He was not happy with the type of work he was doing, even
embezzling the golf club funds and served a long prison sentence. His after several changes of employment (he hated factory work), but he
departure went unmourned. He was replaced by a much more tolerant enjoyed watching the skill of the plumbers when they dressed the lead
headteacher. In fact, he was the assistant Head of Purley Oaks School. to the flat roofs which formed the weathering. He could not afford to
Life back at Rockmount School had changed since the departure of pay for night school so he purchased a set of plumbing encyclopaedias
the tyrannical old head, and due to the fact Purley Oaks had an ad- on the ‘never-never’. From these books he taught hirn-self to execute
vanced standard of work Bill found the work load easier. the many and varied tasks in plumbing. It was hard work and he felt
The boys in view of their Fathers conduct could not understand his frustrated when things went wrong but he persevered, although many
insistence on their going to Sunday school and making them say grace times he felt like giving it all up. He acquired a few tools, a blow-lamp
before a meal, it was to them rank hypocrisy, truth to tell there was was essential, so he took home a length of lead pipe solder and tallow
never enough to eat so they were always hungry. to practice preparing an wiping a joint.
It was after their Father’s death that Bill’s younger sister Elsie The plumber in those days was a much-respected figure, even the
brought to Bill’s notice the family bible, and it seems their Father had general foreman knocked on the door of the plumber’s shop, he was
32 33

18. the aristocrat of the building trade. His tools were kept spotlessly clean Then tragedy struck, the town of Croydon was ravaged by typhoid
and highly burnished, his tea was brewed three times a day and his eat- fever outbreak. With the exception of the boy and his Uncle the whole
ing utensils were up to the same high standard of cleanliness. His over- family was stricken with this virulent plague and the house had to be
alls had to be aired over a paraffin furnace each morning and he had to fumigated every week and placed in quarantine for six weeks. One of
have a supply of hot water every night to wash his hands. Time keep- his Aunt’s twin boys died and another was left crippled from the dread-
ing was strict, five minutes late meant a quarter of an hour stopped ful disease. Bill stayed with his Aunt until war was declared against
from the pay. Germany. One of Bill’s pals during this time was Cocker Smith, he was
Trade Union membership was not open to any one of the rank of a few months younger than Bill and at seventeen years old could not
plumbers improver, until after the war, which had taken its full toll sign up without his mother’s consent, not given because of her fear for
of tradesmen. Plumbing practices were a closed shop, only those that his safety. Bill at eighteen was conscripted for six months war service.
had served an apprenticeship were trained in the arts of the plumbing Ironically poor Cocker Smith was killed in an air raid on Croydon
trade. The site on which Bill was employed was nearly completed. This Airport the bombs hit the factory estate where he was working. Who
meant cards and money (this was the sack). It was the practice of the knows, had they joined up together he may have survived. His death
more sadistic foreman to walk the site with a few dole cards sticking hit Bill quite hard, they had enjoyed some good times together in spite
out of his pocket, this was a form of a goad, the sack was dreaded. The of the hardships they shared. Cocker had an irrepressible sense of hu-
canteen was a leaking shed with a brick fireplace on which tea was mour, tall and good-looking, he had a pleasant singing voice or, as the
made. Toilets consisted of an open pit with a wooden pole for a seat. A other fellows would say, ‘he could chant’. Women adored him, and he
tale was told of a man seen pulling his coat out of the pit, who when was the apple of his Mother’s eye.
asked ‘You ain’t going to wear that coat are you?’ Replied ‘No, but me Bill had a girl friend that was injured in the same air raid, she was
grub’s in me pocket!’ On one site Bill had the job of making the tea for lucky, the casualties in that raid were very heavy, and whole factory
the men, no canteens were on site at that time, and Bill has to admit sites were razed to the ground. Maybe the Germans mistook Croydon
that brewed as it was on a smoky wood fire it tasted vile, and he never Airport for Biggin Hill, a military aerodrome nearby. Croydon was
drunk the stuff himself. bombed heavily during WW2 and his Mother spent many hours in
At this time Bill had taken lodgings with his Aunt Em. This was a the air raid shelters or, if she couldn’t make it to the shelter, she would
blow to the family finances, but Bill could bear his Fathers brutality duck under the table thus earning the nickname ‘Mrs Ducket’ from
no longer. the old man. Always Sister Elsie and Brother Brian were cuddled in her
His Aunt was not a lot better off than his Mum, she too had a large arms, afraid and crying. After his Mother had been bombed out for
family, five boys and two girls and a husband that was a darts fanatic a second time, Bill came home on leave and experienced the horrors
who kept the lion’s share of the wage packet. of the full fury of the bombing attacks of the German Luftwaffe. It is
34 35

19. true to say that some service men never saw a quarter of the enemy was the cheapest! When Bill grew older he marvelled at the number of
fire as heavy and sustained as that inflicted on the civilian population. napkins his Mother had to wash. Line after line was hung out to dry.
Day after day, night after night, without respite, the sky was lit up by It led the old man to say caustically that his kids could fill two napkins
the beams of the searchlights. Added to that was noise of the anti air- while their Mother was washing one.
craft guns banging away with little success. Not many enemy aircraft A task Bill hated was turning the handle of the big cast iron mangle,
were shot down, the more successful was the RAF fighter planes, but or wringer (as it was sometimes known). Not for his Mum the luxury
at a heavy cost. To tell the truth Bill was glad to get back to camp, it of a washing machine or spin drier. Three more tasks had to be done,
seemed much safer there. first was to blacklead the kitchen stove, second to hearth stone the step
On his journey back to camp, he had to step over the people that were of the front door, and third tear up the old newspapers and put the
using the underground railway as a bomb shelter. Some people made pieces of paper on a string attached to a skewer, this was used as toilet
the tube their second home. They even had parties and sing-songs in paper. The super soft luxury of the toilet rolls that the puppy dogs play
the tube. Sometimes when the old man was half-cut, he would fill his with in the television adverts were not for them.
clay pipe with an evil-smelling black shag, made into a twist like that
smoked and chewed down the mines by the coal miners. He would tell Croydon had two faces, the upper-crust area of Croham Hurst,
of his service in what he called German East Africa and of his African Old Addington and Park Hill, and the poverty traps called Old Town
servant named ‘Steamer’, who was beaten quite regularly, but gave him Croydon and Banghole. Both run-down slumlands where unemploy-
a dog like devotion. He made his tea, shaved him, washed his laundry, ment and poverty went hand-in-hand. Coppers walked the streets in
cleaned his brasses and his leather equipment, all for few pence in wag- pairs, such was the reputation of the people of Princess Road, Foster
es and what scraps of food he could find, mainly from the swill bins. Road and Wilford Road. On the street corners dice and cards were
He told them tales of cruelties of the Germans in East Africa and played, the kids kept ‘doggo’, and would yell ‘copper,’ at the top of
his service as groom to General Jan Smuts, Commander in Chief – their voices as a warning the law was on their way, for this they would
German East Africa. His regiment was the 17th 21st lancers, and he be rewarded with a few pence from the kitty. Many times the men’s
kept his skull and cross bones cap badge in his family bible, this Bill’s dole money would be blown on this past-time resulting in many hun-
sister Elsie kept until her death. gry stomachs. Fights inevitably broke out and blood was spilled and
Another feature that marked out the ‘poor’ was the recipients of the bones were broken, some times the women would fight alongside their
free milk. Bill never took milk; he hated it and still does to this day. husbands, they fought like wild-cats tearing each others hair out by the
Bill’s Mum told him that he never took to her breast feeding, but was handful. Some of the men scraped a living as totters i.e. ‘rag and bone’
fed on Nestles tinned milk. This gave the old man a further reason to men, some carried sacks on their backs some trundled hand-carts, the
hate him, and led him to say ‘Breast is best’ What he meant was, it more fortunate had a horse and cart, the same types of characters were
36 37

20. ‘PAPER JACK’
portrayed in the television series Steptoe and Son. The street book- A well-known character on the streets of Croydon was a hermit nick-
maker managed to make a good living between horse and dog racing, named ‘Paper Jack’ who shunned orthodox dress, instead he wore
plus a spot of money lending. newspapers to cover his body, except his arms which were always bare.
They used agents to collect their bets called bookies runners and paid Bill remembers seeing him when he was a boy, he would cover his feet
them commission, maybe one shilling in the pound. A ploy used by with the thicker type papers used as placards on the newspaper bill
the runners was to buy the mid-day racing paper, place a few pounds boards. It was after some research in Croydon library’s Local Studies
on the non-runners, their commission was thereby increased. Street that Bill gained a lot more information on the life of the hermit ‘Paper
betting in those days was illegal and those caught were fined or sent to Jack’. His real name was Arthur Ellis Preece, a son of a wealthy estate
prison, one such runner when cornered by the law stuffed a handful of agent in Biggin Hill, Kent. He was sixty years of age when he died and
betting slips in his mouth and swallowed them. It did him no good, he was married to a girl named Miriam. Sadly it would seem he suffered
was nicked just the same, and because he had form he went to prison! some kind of a mental breakdown and because of his eccentric ways he
One Jack the Lad up before the beaks pleaded guilty, the magistrate became separated from his wife.He was educated at Oxford University
said ‘Five pounds or seven days’ replied ‘I’ll take the five pounds your and spoke several languages. He saw military service in ww1, where he
honour’ he responded cheekily. War time brought food rationing but was reported to be working on codes and ciphers for the War Office.
in these bleak days poverty imposed a more severe type of rationing, Bill remembers he always walked in the gutter and this almost surely
and belt tightening was the order of the day. Bill’s Mother was fre- led to the accident that caused his death. He used a long rough wood-
quently pregnant which resulted in him being kept away from school. en staff. He was struck by a car and died in Croydon General Hospital
Strong as she was during these times, she could not cope with the on January 29th, 1935. He was very much respected by the people of
heavier household chores, such as bringing in the washing from the Croydon – he was a harmless, kindly old tramp.
clothes line, chopping the fire wood, carrying heavy buckets of coal Winter or summer his only form of dress was the newspapers, and
and making the beds. These enforced truancies brought sneers and in deepest winter he would lie over the grille where he gained benefit
taunts from his school-mates and this led to many a fight. No hospital from the bakers ovens. From time to time people would offer him cast
beds were made available for working class Mothers, maternity beds off items of clothing, these be politely refused. The Spartan existence
were for the wealthy people. The local midwife (a much over worked he embraced he would persist with until he died
nurse) did the hard ante-natal and post-natal care.
38 39

21. ‘DUPPAS HILL KATE’
Another character who was well known on the streets of Croydon was
a lady known as ‘Duppas Hill Kate’. She was dubbed this way because
she spent a lot of her time on the recreation park at Duppas Hill.
At this time Bill was living with his aunt in Drovers Road, Croydon
and as the name implies, sheep and cattle drovers held a cattle market
there. This had a stone water trough with a drinking fountain. In fact,
a large public house called The Fountain stood at the end of the road.
Quite often Bill would see her in the early morning washing her self
under the tap in the cold water – winter and summer. She dressed a lit-
tle dowdily with an old-fashioned cloche type hat, and a coat that she
wore reached down to her ankles, she seemed to be talking to herself
and always had a cigarette in her mouth. She did not get the kind of af-
fection that Paper Jack enjoyed, quite the reverse, they mocked her in a
cruel way. The homeless existence she led took its toll. She was admit-
ted into the Queens Road Homes in Croydon, suffering from pneu-
monia. It was here she sadly passed away. Some of Bill’s older friends
allege she was on the game. If this was true then the Police treated her
very leniently, for she was never to the best of Bill’s knowledge ever
charged with that kind of offence.
40 41

22. FROM MITCHAM ROAD TO MANDALAY
To steal a line from the comedian Rob Wilton ‘The day war broke
out’, I was walking along Wellesley Road, Croydon, where gangs of
workmen were busy filling sandbags with earth.The Sirens began to
wail giving every one a taste of their mournful sound. It did not seem
like a real war, people seemed uninterested. There was none of the fer-
vent passion of ww1. That war saw young men trying to make them-
selves look old, and older men dyed their hair to make themselves look
young; cripples hid their disabilities; kids barely out of school falsified
their age and enlisted. Silly young girls pinned white feathers on any
one wearing a civilian suit, sometimes these men were disabled; were
victims of shell shock or had lungs ruined by deadly gas attacks. This
led to a disabled service mans badge being issued by the British Legion.
ww1 was a vicious killing machine that mowed down the flower of the
world’s youth. The phrase ‘lions led by donkeys’ was an apt description
of their leaders. History condemns these architects of death; millions
were slaughtered over areas covering a few yards .Every street, every
road, every village, every town had had a father, brother, son, uncle
or cousin killed in action, yet this fierce patriotism prevailed. Bill was
now a man and had received conscription call up, it had been decreed
that lads of eighteen should serve eighteen months military service in
one of the armed forces. Army, Navy or Airforce.
Mitcham Road barracks was the HQ of the 4th Queens Regiment
and was used as a recruiting centre, and it stood next to the old Rectory
Manor School, by the side of the Croydon Municipal lodging house.
This was, in fact, a doss-house for the unfortunate down and outs. A
refuge incidentally never used by Paper Jack. Service in the armed forc-
es in the climate of high unemployment was the last hope of getting
a living, and, unlike today, they were not fussy who they used. Petty
thieves were given the option of doing time or joining up. A much
42 43

23. higher standard is required from our service men now, it seems now days, until his Sergeant told him one day that he would never beat the
one needs five 0 levels to be an idiot. Having passed his medical, his system, he knuckled down then. There was no leave for six weeks, no
first choice was the Navy, they were taking no new recruits so he opted coveted blue uniform, no big ships, just six weeks of long days and
for the Royal Marines. He was told how little difference there was be- hard work, drilling and square bashing, and all for the princely sum of
tween a Royal Marine and a matelot; that Marines were sea soldiers, one shilling per day.
manning a gun turret, usually ‘X’, as well as sentry duties aboard ship. A tanner (six old pence) went to his Mum as an allotment. Bill could
February 28, 1940 saw him on Bromley South station, where he met not relate to some of the Marine jargon, for example the term for going
a townie Harry Mills, who was called up in the same group and, until out was called ‘going ashore’! Weren’t they already ashore? In charge of
his death, served with Bill in 1 Royal Marines. and 42 Royal Marines our barrack room was a long service corporal named Jones. He had the
Commando. Harry loved the service life and was always polishing his disgusting habit of coming in after a night on the beer and pissing in
boots and brasses. So on to Chatham Barracks, expecting the glam- the boots of the squaddie in the next bunk to him. He thought this a
our of the blue uniform and, after training, off to sea on one of His great laugh; Bill told Jone’sy he was taking liberties with the boy. Bill
Majesties big ships. then had a word with the young Marine and said to him. In future put
What a shock, when they arrived at Melville Barracks to be told there your boots under his bed and put his boots under your bed, that way
were to be no big ships, but they were to serve in an infantry battalion. the Corporal would be urinating in his own boots. This he did, that
They watched in awe as the squads drilled, in fact it was said of the night Jones must have had a fit of conscience because that night he pis-
Marines, that ‘They were smarter than the guards but not quite so tall’. sed in his own boots, so the lad still had wet boots. Bill wondered if this
It was to lead to many hard years, some happy, some sad and to meet is where the Naval expression ‘fill your boots’ comes from. Oh well you
some of the finest men he ever knew. Labelled by the establishment win some and you lose some. We were to lose the doubtful leadership
with the title of hostilities only (HO’s), Bill always thought this title to qualities of Corporal Jones, he was drafted to sea service. Harry Mills
be derogatory and it is still resented by the veterans to this day. was in the same squad as Bill and he had the awful habit of splitting
The Chatham Adjutant was a Captain Lumsden who cut an impos- his words with an expletive, he would say ab-so-effing lutely, and posit-
ing figure on his horse, dressed in his full blues, nothing escaped his effingly and so on. Bill and Harry were members of the Rectory Manor
eagle eye as he watched the drill instructors put their squads through Boys Club before they joined up and Bill found him to be a solid and
their paces, and the precision drill was faultless. They were drilled un- reliable character. In Harry and Bill’s group were several diverse charac-
der a Sergeant Butcher, who instilled in them a squad and corps pride ters, some like Harry were lucky enough to be paid by their firms and
that would stay with them forever. Once a marine, always a marine were sent food parcels and fags. Freddie Weller joined us wearing an
goes the saying. He commanded quite a lot of respect from his squad, immaculate new suit, his long blond hair hung over his collar, his hair
and he honed their competitive edge. Bill was a bit of a rebel in those was his pride and joy. Fred was a brilliant pianist and had worked in
44 45

24. peacetime for the Post Office, whilst his buddy, a Colonel Blimp look His predecessor as adjutant was Evelyn Waugh, the romantic novelist
-a-like named Neville Underwood came from the Midlands. He was who had served as ‘D’ Company Commander. Bill’s CO was Captain
forever moaning, but was amusing when he put on his irate Blimp act. Digby Bell who wore a monocle and was a dead ringer for Cardew the
Six am, reveille sounded off and the keener sorts hopped out of what cad of television fame. He was a complete professional Royal Marine
served as beds, but were in fact palliasses filled with straw, and made officer and a great lecturer. He had a fictional Marine ‘Bloggs’ who
their way to the ablutions, which was a posh name for the wash place, he used as a role model. ‘Bloggs’ would not stand up on the skyline,
then to breakfast. Most of the lads ate heartily but the more fastidious would not smoke at night, he could map read, was competent with a
left their food, this was a harvest to the less fussy and they scoffed what compass, and was able to handle himself without supervision. In other
was known as ‘gash’! words, a modern day Marine. Late in 1940 the Battalion was sent to
In civvy street Bill was always hungry and cold, but in the service with Looe in Cornwall as an anti invasion force.
warm clothes and good boots that kept his feet dry, and three square They stood to at dawn and again at dusk each day with not enough
meals a day (and he did not mean oxo), this was a different world. On ammo to go round. Firepower was non-existent, and had Jerry attacked
completion of training at Melville Barracks the Brigade was posted to they would not have stood a dogs chance. In ‘C’ Company there were
Bisley for rifle training, in the bitter cold March weather under canvas. three Sergeants, all long service Marines. 13 Platoon Herbie Addison;
They were housed in a tented city, and slept twelve to a tent, feet to- 14 Platoon Bill Smith; and 15 Platoon Sgt Ginger Burton. They all
wards the pole and this was to be their quarters for the next six weeks, sported luxuriant waxed moustaches and each had an imaginary dog
There were no luxuries like hot water for washing and shaving (some that they exercised before parade. They didn’t have to be barmy to be a
used their hot tea for this purpose) the tea was not worth drinking marine but it must have helped.
anyway. The officers flunkies always managed to get hot water, Bill Addison was an ex-copper and between them they fostered a friendly
suspects this came from the cookhouse. Whilst at Bisley there were Inter platoon rivalry. When they went on the dreary route marches
several desertions and one lad committed suicide. Life was rough but they sang songs, which were a bit of a morale lifter. Some songs were
it toughened the lads up and stood them in good stead when they funny, some rude which caused Sgt Smith to yell out an admonitory
were on active service in the future. The lads were not sorry to see ‘Shit in it you lot’ Included in this training was practice beach assaults
the back of Bisley and its austere way of life. The pay, after Bill had and rock climbing, to prepare for roles they may have to under take
given his Mother half his measly seven shillings per week, did not go when they were on active service. Then they travelled to Wales where
very far, not enough to buy his beer and fags, or the odd cup of tea it never seemed to stop raining. In Haverford West beach landings
and a bun. Wildman Lushington, Commanding Officer of 1RM had were practiced from ships cutters; then on to Aberystwyth Llandeilo,
as his adjutant at this time Captain (now Major General (ret), Titch Lampeter and Llanelli and we were treated like kings.
Houghton who was unfortunately captured during the raid on Dieppe. ‘Up’ homers were there in plenty, this meant being invited to peoples
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25. homes for a meal and sometimes a chance to sleep in a warm bed, and about to go into the attack the mission was aborted. The Vichyites had
if you were lucky, get your leg over as well. scuttled some of their ships, among them the battle wagon Richilieau
The top brass were looking for a role the 102 Brigade could play, who and had point blank refused to change sides. De Gaulle did not want
were the only fully mobile Brigade in Britain at that time. The Brigade Frenchmen fighting Frenchmen even though they were German loving
was made up of numbers 1-2-3-and 5 RM Battalions, with a unit of the lackeys of Marshal Petain, so the convoy set out for home. During the
Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, they were at peak fitness; ready, voyage home they watched a show put on by the ships Entertainments
willing and able. Officer Lt. Lloyd and his big show was entitled ‘It couldn’t be worse
Their chance finally came, they were ordered to Liverpool docks, than Ensa’, but in truth it was a bloody sight worse. The acrynom
which was now under sustained vicious attacks from the Jerry dive- meant that it was the official body to entertain the troops. Something
bombers. They lay in dock taking victuals and troops on board, mean- like the TV series ‘It ain’t half hot Mum’. At least aboard ship they
while the bombers continued to lay the City to waste. One of Bill’s had decent grub, and a ration of the odd bottle of beer. Watches were
mates Freddie Whiteman met and married his wife in the five days the limited to submarine look out, and they did see the flying fishes play.
ship lay in dock, after a whirlwind courtship. With plenty of fags and chocolate, sun bathing on the upper deck life
From Liverpool they set sail to take part in Operation Menace. Their wasn’t so bad, plus the odd game of nap and solo to pass away the time.
mission was to land near the Vichy French garrison of Dakar in West They did not go a lot on the compulsory physical training however.
Africa in an attempt to bring them into the war on our side. On the During the voyage home Bill had the job of prisoner escort during a
way they called into Gibraltar, then on to Freetown capital of Sierra ships court martial under Major ‘Titch’ Houghton RM. Two marines
Leone, given the name very aptly ‘the white man’s graveyard’. Here were alleged to have carried out an act of gross indecency in a ham-
they carried out a programme of acclimatisation. mock. They had been caught in a compromising position by a fear-
Like the mad dogs of English men from Noel Cowards famous song some twenty-stone provost Sergeant Darby Allen, and in his evidence
they were taken on a twelve-mile route march, where the heat and the he left little to the imagination and was crude to the point of obscenity.
thirst were unbearable. They could not remember being so thirsty. The They were found guilty and were placed in prison when we reached the
blazing sun burned through their shirts, this caused the heavy webbing Rock of Gibraltar. Bill still says to this day, that had the accused been
equipment to rub their backs raw until they bled, and in the ships represented by a brief of the Perry Mason caliber, they would have got
cutters on the way back aboard, thirst crazed they were scooping up away with it because nobody, but nobody, can commit a sexual act in
the water and drinking it. Those of fair skin were burned raw, a damn a hammock and to do so is a physical impossibility. They landed in
fool exercise inflicted on men who had no time to get used to tropic Gourock in Scotland and Bill can still recall the beauty of those green
conditions. It was quite a while before the afflicted were able to wear hills, and wherever he has travelled he has never seen grass so green.
their webbing equipment. Zero hour approached but as they were 1RM moved on to Paisley and into a billet in Glebe Street School,
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26. Renfrew. Here the statistics said there were nine women to every man, state, it had been ravaged by the heavy bombing. Bill’s Mother had
so the lads did not go short of company. Freddie Whiteman and Bill been made homeless twice, but he chose not to stay with his Mother.
got the cooks of the mess number, and became mess hands and dining He had a girl friend named May, and she greeted him with a hungry
room attendants. Their duties included cleaning the hall and dish- passion he found overwhelming. In truth Bill did not love her, and
ing out the grub. Fred came from the East End of London, and was found her appetite for sex a bit too much for him. May visited Bill
built like a tank, a very proficient boxer with a punch that could fell a on a day trip when he was stationed at Bisley and was hurt trying to
mule, were he a young man today he could have been a title contender. shoulder arms with his rifle, this cost her two front teeth. At the end of
Having access to the school boiler meant we could draw off masses his leave he explained to her that there was no future in their relation-
of hot water and with lashings of soap we made our mess tables and ship, because of the uncertainty in his fate in the war. In fact May was
floors gleaming white, and we reserved our best kitchen utensils for injured in the same air raid that Cocker Smith was killed in.
the Colonel’s rounds. On the day of his inspection Colonel Wildman After a spell in the Exmoor region near Dalditch Common, they car-
Lushington was accompanied by Captain Digby Bellon on his rounds, ried out exercises consisting of long gruelling route marches. Spending
Fred and Bill were caught in their fatigues, sweaty and unshaven, but bitterly cold nights in bivouac, with only a flimsy oilskin gas cape for
could not get away in time. The CO congratulated Digby Bell on the protection and no other means of keeping warm. Fires were not al-
‘C’ Company mess and said, in a disdainful way, ‘Digby, I have just lowed as they were working under simulated active service conditions,
seen the cleanest mess in the whole of my time in the Royal Marines, in fact Bill recalls brass monkeys balls were frozen. To those who were
and the two dirtiest Marines to go with it’! Captain Bell was so pleased used to a more cosy way of life it became very difficult, even the lads
he gave ‘C’ Company a day’s make and mend, i.e a day off. such as miners and building trade workers found the going tough.
The Brigade was sent up north to Scapa Flow, it was here a German Those that were too fussy to wear the heavy thick woollen vests had
U boat sank the Royal Oak with a heavy loss of life, a very audacious cause to regret it. The food was cooked in the daytime on wood fires,
attack which earned the U boat skipper an iron cross and became a and served in an aluminium mess tin in two halves and if it was called
national hero. vile it was paying it a compliment. It was here Bill first heard that
They went on to Inverary to board HMT Ettrick, a landing craft ves- uncomplimentary phrase, ‘who called the cook a prat?’ and the reply,
sel to practice more landings and beach assaults, no landing craft were ‘who called the prat a cook?’ The man in charge of the cooking was
available so they had to use ships cutters. The draught of these boats a Sergeant ‘Slosh’ Clayson who, with the aid of several trainee cooks,
was eight feet so the water came over their heads when they went over had volunteered in order to get out of picket guard duties and stunts.
the side and that water was icy cold. It was here Bill endured some of ‘Slosh’ did his best but to tell the truth he was the only man Bill knew
the bitterest cold in his life, and contributed to the sickness in his lungs. that could burn water. The lads had him near to tears at times, but
They went home on leave to Croydon, which by now was in a sorry truth to tell the conditions he worked under were abysmal.
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27. The Battalion then was posted to Scotland where Bill sustained in- darn his socks. His adjutant was a stiff-necked, ram-rod-backed Major
juries to both knees whilst boxing; this in the Marines was licensed Waiters, and it was he that took command of the battalion when Dolly
mayhem. It seems a cartilage was torn in both knees, after diagno- was ruled to be too old for combat duties in the Middle East. Whilst
sis and treatment in Mearnskirk Hospital in Glasgow, Bill was trans- the unit was out on Woodbury Down in Exmoor on an exercise for
ferred to Kingseat Royal Naval hospital in Aberdeen where he under- four days in quite wintry conditions Bill made up his mind to re-
went surgery on both knees – this turned out to be very painful. The quest a draft back to 1RM. He was coming off watch and went to
wife of a fellow patient that bore three children had under gone the shake his relief and was amazed to find only his platoon Sergeant in his
cartilage operation said rather than go through that again she would trench. Everyone had taken it on their toes back to camp saying ‘It’s
take chidbirth every time. Bill unfortunately did not have that choice. too bloody cold out there’ When he appeared before Dolly to approve
Eventually he was discharged and posted to Dalditch Camp where he his request for a transfer he was irate, because he considered Bill to be
was given the job of marker on the firing range. These were very harsh NCO material, contrary to his way of thinking. He likened Bill to a
wintery conditions. The long service Corporal in charge of the rifle rat leaving a sinking ship; the buzz was that the Battalion was going
range had lodgings in the village, and spent his evenings in the local over seas. Bill saw it in a different way, if they could not stand to be
pub. Bill was left in the freezing cold hut, with just an old gramophone out in the cold over night, how would they perform in the real thing?
for company. In fact 7RM performed valiantly and took a hiding in the Middle East
There were just two records, one by Cab Calloway ‘There’s a Cabin in and won honours. Bill’s request was granted and he was drafted back
the Cotton’ and the other, a real oldie from the Boer War called ‘Break to 1RM where they were stationed at Hursley near Winchester. He was
the news to Mother’. Bill learned the lyrics of these songs by heart, and marched in before the then Company Commander Major Tweedy,
still knows them to this day. After six months of this Spartan existence who promptly read him the riot act. It seems Bill had acquired a repu-
Bill was posted to the newly created 7th RM Battalion in Dalditch. tation. It was here for the first time Bill met Buddy Homan, a man
This was a nissen hutted encampment where the Commanding Officer with a mind like a computer and possessing a prolific memory.
was a slightly eccentric Lt Col ‘Dolly’ Dewhurst. He was reputedly of
the family butcher business. He sported a huge bristly Moustache and
rode a big white horse. One day on CO’s rounds, they had their kits
laid out for inspection in a hangar they used for a drill shed. When
the CO saw the kit layouts were wrong, he rode up on his horse and
sent them flying with a blow from his stick snarling ‘rubbish! rubbish!’
He liked Bill’s layout, he did it to 1RM standards. ‘Dolly’ was chuffed
with the socks he had darned; Bill thought he was going to ask him to
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28. BUDDY HOMAN
Buddy Homan had to be seen and heard to be believed. Six foot Four asked by one of the instructors known as ‘the body beautiful’ (not a
in his socks, solid muscle and you could tell by his face he had been in popular figure among the troops) to disarm him- the instructor found
the boxing game. In the old days they used to say he had photographic himself flat on his back, without his knife.
memory, this description did not do him justice. He had in truth a An extremely accomplished boxer, he would have been a title con-
mind like a computer. tender had he turned Professional. He told Bill a story in later years, of
He could name every military, naval and air force commander on him watching the pro’s spar at a gym near the Essex Rd, Islington. The
the Allied Forces, and the same with the enemy, The number of men man in the ring had run out of sparring partners so Buddy offered to
each army had, their overwheming strength in numbers made the al- go a few rounds with him. Whereupon his trainer said grudgingly ‘all
lies look puny by comparison. right then just two rounds’. Buddy went five rounds and hardly broke
When the blitzkrieg was so successfully used by the German High sweat. An onlooker, a big man carrying a towel and shorts under his
Command it1 WW2 in France and the Lowlands they were given the arm said, in an aggrieved way, ‘Bleeding good ain’t it? Bloody ‘amerch-
credit for it’s sweeping success. ers’ taking the bread and butter out of our mouves!’ That man said
Not so said Buddy, that method of tank war fare was first performed Buddy was the old cockney actor Arthur Mullard, our old mate ‘arfur’
on Salisbury Plain was expounded by a British General Le Quesley It is here Bill would like to tell the story of Marine Alexander, as told
Martell, also there was the German tank expert General Heinz to him by his old mate Les Wood. The story begins during a visit by
Guderian, and he was the man that master minded the tank warfare the First Lord of the Admiralty A.V.Alexander when he was doing his
known as Blitzkrieg. Also in attendance was a young French Colonel, round of inspection. Marine Alexander was Captain of the heads (he
one Charles De Gaulle. cleaned the toilets).
The TV script of the documentary watched by Bill in the year 2003 The First Lord stopped and Marine Alexander said to him ‘Here Guv,
could have been written by Buddy himself, word for word. He was I’ve got the same name as you’ The First Lord gave a grin and congratu-
also a keen lover of the classical music and opera. He could recite the lated him on the cleanliness of his toilets and went on his way. At this
story of any known composer’s work and carried in his mind a vast and point a young subaltern on the end of the entourage stayed behind and
clinically accurate library of facts and figures. Buddy told Bill that he said to Alexander, ‘there is dust up there on those lampshades’, ‘I know
had enlisted in the Royal Marines before the war and had been granted guv,’ said Alexander, ‘but they don’t shit up there do they?’
compassionate release when his dad had died from T.B. better known Major Frank Taylor a great man with the women, replaced Major
in those days as consumption. According to Buddy, his father had been Tweedy, but still a fine Marine officer. We were ordered to travel south,
a superbly fit man, an expert in the sport of wrestling and was a col- to Sway in Bournemouth where we were told we were to become 42
league and admirer of the famous Russian wrestler Hackensmidt. Commando. Many were excluded because of their age and physical
Buddy was well versed in unarmed combat and to his delight was shortcomings. Most of us were overwhelmed by what was seen by the
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29. glamour of the green beret. very efficient, they had a keen sense of rather excitable rivalry and
It was while we were in Sway in the New Forest that they saw the first made every effort to urge the unit they were training to complete the
grim realities of war, a yankee liberator had crash landed in the New fastest speed march of 7miles, 12 miles. and 30 miles cat crawling across
Forest; the pilot was still sat in his cockpit where he was burned to a a fast flowing river on a rope. Where if you lost your hold you crash
cinder; his teeth bared in a snarl of agonised pain, it was gruesome. down to the fearsome rocks below.
Another poor sod, probably a crewman, had his entrails strung high When this happened the team instructor would offer odds on how
up in the treetops. Half the crew had bailed out, the pilot was a very many times the poor sod would bounce on his way down. Then the
brave man, he had stayed with his aircraft to steer it away from the city dreaded slide of death, here you threw a looped toggle rope over a
centre. His courageous action saved countless lives that day. thicker rope that was fixed to the tower of the castle wall, it then
The commandos were on duty, presumably to stop the ghoulish spanned the fast running river, and was tied to a tree. A good hearty
souvenir hunters from looting. Later they were called to the heavily spit on the toggle rope helped lubricate the system, because if there was
bombed town, to a hotel called the Queen’s that had been reduced to not enough momentum on the slide, you went in the hoggin.
a heap of rubble. They had the task of digging through the devastated A great spirit existed and the stronger ones assisted those who were
ruins to find the bodies, they made a weird sight, completely immersed flagging or perhaps had blisters, maybe muscle cramp or were tired.
in the tons of dust and concrete, sitting like wax-works clothed in their The carrying of heavy weapons such as machine guns or mortars was
dress suits and evening gowns, holding their unbroken wine glasses in shared during these marches and on completion those camp gates were
their hands. After the war, Bill read that Keith Miller the famous Aussie a sight for sore eyes not to mention sore feet. It was not for the skirl
cricketer had stayed in that hotel at that time he must have had a lucky of the bagpipes from the drum and pipe band to which, knackered as
escape. By now all our roles had been settled, many went to landing they were, they had to march to attention when entering the camp, but
craft duties. Sergeant Major Bill Dennis took a commission and com- because of the immense pride we felt we remembered the corps saying
manded a landing craft unit on active service in Europe. Many of the ‘bullshit baffles brains’ The story was told of an American Ranger who
lads were to die at Walcheren and the second front. Because of our was coming to the end of a seven mile speed march receive the order
new role we had to take the long train journey to Achnacarry near Fort ‘eyes left to the sentry at the gate. Several commands rattled out. ‘eyes
William in Scotland for our official commando training. We arrived by right eyes left’ said the dimunitive black yank quite out of breath ‘eyes
train at Spean Bridge railway station and in full marching order we set left eyes right – I’se knackered ! By the way, a drum and fife band had
for the camp and the rigours that lay ahead. Such is the severity of the been formed in I RM by Captain Doc Rogers and it became a show
landscape at Achnacarry that almost sixty men lost their lives training piece in 42 RM Cdo.
there, and it is no longer used by modern day Marines. We found the One fact comes to mind from this period and that was the three
Camp well organised and the instructors, who were Army personnel, mock graves just inside the gates. On the mock tombstones were the
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