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Health	Positivity
Amandine	Lecesne,	School	Counsellorat	Prem
Warning:	this	workshop	
WILL	make	us	rethink	the	
messages	we’re	using!
SELF-REFLECTION	QUIZ
For	your	eyes	only!
Where	did	you	learn	about	what	to	eat	and	what	not	to	eat	when	you	were	
young?	 E.g parents,	school,	religion
Name	3	things	you	like	about	your	body
Name	2	things	you	don’t	like	about	your	body
Circle	how	many	times	you	have	dieted.	 0-1				2-5			6-10			11+	
Do	you	worry	about	what	your	child	eats?	 yes/no
Do	you	count	the	calories	in	your	food?	 yes/no
How	would	you	help	your	child	if	they	started	eating	too	much	or	too	little?
The	reality	is	that	our	children	often	need	guidance	in	
order	to	obtain	healthy	living.	Often,	they	are	prone	to	
craving	unhealthy	snacks.	Or	if	they	are	eating	
healthily,	their	thinking	about	their	food	and	their	
bodies	is	disturbingly	unhealthy.	
Young	girls	are	more	afraid	
of	becoming	fat	than	they	
are	of	nuclear	war,	cancer,	
or	losing	their	parents
The	most	important	message	out	of	this	
workshop	today	is	to	get	away	from	
talking	about	weight and	to	talk	
about	health	instead,	and	to	do	so	in	
a	way	that	actually	motivates	instead	of	
undermines	our	children.
We’ll	cover	what	is	healthy	eating;	what	
it	looks	like	on	a	dinner	plate.	
And	we’ll	also	take	a	look	at	what	
happens	to	our	children’s	perception	of	
their	bodies,	how	to	balance	that	with	
some	positive	messages,	and	how	to	
respond	if	your	child	develops	
disordered	eating.
What	does	it	feel	and	look	like?
Brain	power!
Food	is	fuel.	It	helps	us	think,	it	helps	us	have	
energy,	it	allows	us	to	have	enough	nutrients	
to	supplement	our	hair,	nails,	and	skin.	It	
supports	our	mental	health.	It	has	lots	of	value	
beyond	taste	and	calories.
The	good	news	is,	the	basic	rule	about	what	to	
feed	kids	is	simple:
Offer	choices	between	two	healthy	options
Less	effective
More	effective
Help	them	connect	the	dots	between	
how	they	feel	and	what	they’ve	eaten
3	brownies	may	taste	great	at	the	time,	but	shortly	afterwards,	the	amount	of	carbohydrates	
will	cause	irritability	and	sluggishness.
If	a	child	skips	breakfast,	this	will	also	cause	hunger	pangs	and	difficulty	focusing	at	school.	
On	the	other	hand,	point	out	if	they	ate	a	veggie	omelette and	drank	coconut	water	in	the	
morning	and	felt	in	good	spirits	afterwards
Practice	the	same	healthy	habits	
you’re	encouraging
A	2011	study	suggested	that	the	adoption	of	healthy	eating	and	activity	habits	by	
parents	had	the	greatest	influence	on	teens’	weight	and	lifestyle	habits.
Offer	variety- eat	the	rainbow
Support,	but	don’t	police
Restricting	food	or	putting	certain	foods	“off-limits”	for	the	purpose	 of	weight	
loss	is	not	a	good	idea.	
Support	 your	teen	by	making	healthy	food	options	readily	available	and	
modeling	 healthy	eating	behaviors.	
If	they	eat	healthily	when	they’re	at	home	and	occasionally	eat	unhealthily	when	
they	are	with	friends,	 it’s	not	a	big	deal.
Make	your	house	a	no-diet	zone
Calorie	restriction	from	diets	isn’t	effective.	We	need	to	make	changes	which	
are	sustainable	and	the	best	way	to	do	this	is	to	encourage	small	gradual	
change	to	food	intake	and	activity.	
Here	are	some	of	the	reasons	we	really	don’t	want	our	children	dieting:	
1.	Depriving	the	body	of	energy	or	nutrients	is	counter	to	the	development	
needs	of	children.
2.	While	children	are	feeling	hungry	 and	weak	from	a	diet	and	their	brain	is	not	
getting	its	large	energy	needs	met,	they	are	less	able	to	concentrate,	reflect	
and	learn.
3.	Children	may	get	stuck	in	a	cycle	of	disordered	eating,	as	each	diet	leads	to	
weight	gain.
Incorporate	fun	and	healthy	habits	instead
Experiment	with	recipes,	try	new	foods,	and	involve	family	
members	in	cooking	and	meal	planning.	Find	activities	which	are	
enjoyable	and	encourage	them	because	they’re	fun	and	make	the	
body	feel	better.
https://www.beautythroughimperfection.com/100-ways-kids-will-actually-eat-vegetables/
Exercise	for	FUN
Not	everyone	wants	to	go	running,	 play	tennis,	go	to	the	gym,	or	get	involved	with	
football.	
However,	there	are	lots	of	alternatives:	
Try	jumping	 on	the	trampoline,	dancing,	jump-rope,	 yoga,	boxing,	biking,	
badminton,	 gardening,	 etc.	
The	only	exercise	your	children	will	do	long-term	is	the	one	they	enjoy	doing.
Give	rewards	besides	food
All	too	often,	we	reward	good	grades,	eating	nutritious	 foods,	birthdays,	etc.	
with	unhealty foods.	
Move	away	from	rewarding	or	“comforting”	with	food.	
Offer	books,	coloring	books,	movie	nights,	a	new	bike/trampoline/boxing	 gloves,	
etc… as	rewards	instead.
Explain	it	to	them	and	get	them	involved
Kids	are	brilliant	little	creatures	and	can	learn	things	much	faster	than	we	can!	
Too	often,	we	dumb	down	explanations	of	why	they	must	do	things	or	
exaggerate	them	(“come	on	honey,	just	eat	one	bit	of	this	yummy	delicious	
broccoli	and	it	will	make	you	super	strong!”)
Most	children	respond	well	to	logical	and	calm	introductions	 to	new	foods.	
When	we	make	a	big	deal	out	of	getting	them	to	try	something,	 they	learn	that	
it	must	not	actually	be	that	good	or	we	wouldn’t	be	making	such	an	ordeal	
about	it	in	the	first	place!	
Put	a	little	portion	of	the	food	on	their	plates,	tell	them	what	it	is,	and	answer	
any	questions.	Don’t	bribe,	cajole,	or	beg.	If	they	ask,	explain	why	the	food	is	
healthy	and	that	making	good	eating	choices	is	important	for	a	healthy	body.
Don’t	label	foods	as	“good”	or	“bad”
The	only	“bad”	food	is	the	one	that	gives	you	food	poisoning!	
Foods	are	to	varying	degrees	nutritious.	Everything	from	pizza	to	
carrots	to	peanut	butter	can	be	part	of	a	healthy	menu.
Let	them	see	where	food	comes	from
Many	kids	grow	up	with	no	knowledge	or	appreciation	how	how	food	is	
grown	or	raised	and	how	it	gets	to	them.	If	possible,	take	your	kids	to	a	farm	
to	expose	them	to	a	new	way	of	viewing	their	food.	
Even	better,	grow	a	garden	and	let	them	help.	They	are	much	more	likely	to	
eat	what	they	have	grown	themselves.
Don’t	reward	a	clean	plate
Children	should	be	encouraged	to	“listen”	to	their	own	fullness	
cues	and	allowed	to	stop	eating	when	full,	even	if	there	is	still	
food	on	the	plate.
We	need	fats	to:
1. help	our	thinking
2. build	healthy	hair	
3. create	healthy	skin
4. support	mental	
health
5. feel	satiated
Focus	on	health,	not	weight
When	talking	to	children,	there’s	a	big	difference	between	healthy	and	harmful	
conversations.	Research	suggests	it’s	essential	that	parents	make	health	the	
focus- not	weight	or	appearance.	Parents	should	also	be	aware	of	the	way	they	
talk	about	their	own	bodies	and	appearance.	Instead,	focus	on	health,	health	
improvements,	 and	the	positives	that	come	from	adopting	 those- like	more	
energy,	increased	strength	or	stamina,	better	sleep,	or	meeting	a	physical	
activity	goal.
We’ve	covered	what	healthy	eating	
looks	and	feels	like,	but	sometimes,	
our	children	can	be	at	any	given	
weight	(including	a	seemingly	
“healthy”	one)	and	yet	their	thinking	
about	their	bodies	or	their	food	is	
seriously	unhealthy.
Sometimes,	the	same	food	behavior	(cutting	out	sugar,	for	example),	can	be	an	act	of	
self-care	or	an	act	of	self-hate.	
Exercise	can	be	an	act	of	self-care	or	an	act	of	self-hate.	We	HAVE	to	take	a	look	at	
the	thoughts	and	motives	behind	the	behavior	to	check	if	the	behavior	is	healthy	or	
unhealthy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
There	are	many	reasons	we	are	pushed	into	seeing	our	bodies	negatively.	We	
regularly	physically	under-evaluate	ourselves,	and	so	do	our	children.
When	children	feel	like	something	is	wrong	with	their	
bodies,	they	might	try	and	alter	those	bodies	through	the	
food	they	take	in.	They	might	cut	out	entire	food	groups	
(“I’m	not	eating	any	carbs”),	they	may	skip	meals,	they	
might	over-exercise,	or	they	might	purge.	
They	might	also	over-eat	or	binge	on	foods,	especially	
”comfort”	foods.	
These	behaviors	have	rarely	anything	to	do	with	food	itself,	
and	more	to	do	with	stress	levels,	low	self-esteem,	and	
seeking	validation.	
So	our	conversations	should	revolve	around	addressing	the	
stress,	building	up	esteem,	and	offering	validation.
If	you	are	concerned	about	
your	child’s	weight	….	
do	NOT	bring	it	up	to	them	
Why:	bringing	 up	a	teen’s	weight	or	a	perceived	need	to	lose	weight	is	often	
interpreted	as	something	 is	“wrong”	with	them	and	the	suggestion	 of	dieting	by	a	
parent	appears	to	have	no	positive	impact on	weight	loss.	In	fact,	some	studies	
correlate	it	with	weight	gain.	Furthermore,	 conversations	between	parents	and	
teens	that	focused	on	weight	or	appearance	(instead	of	healthy	eating	habits)	
were	associated	with	a	greater	risk	of	the	teen	developing	 unhealthy	eating	
habits.
Instead….	talk	about	stress	levels,	changes	
in	mood,	changes	in	relationships
Instead	of	saying:	“I’ve	noticed	you’ve	lost/gained	a	bit	of	weight	and	I’m	
concerned”,	open	up	a	conversation	by	saying:	“You	seem	stressed	these	days.	
I’ve	noticed	that	you	don’t	come	to	dinners	as	much	anymore	and	that	you	
seem	more	worried	than	usual.	What’s	been	going	on?”
LISTEN.	Nod	your	head.	Don’t	interrupt.	Don’t	try	and	“fix”.	
Show	that	you’re	listening	by	asking	for	clarification	or	restating:	“so	you	feel	
left	out,	yeah?”	“that	must	be	difficult”	or	“when	you	say	that	no	one	likes	you,	
what’s	happening	 that	leads	you	to	feel	that	way?”
Body	talk
Avoid	being	critical	of	your	own	or	others’	appearance.	Even	better,	
avoid	commenting	on	a	person’s	weight	or	appearance	at	all	(even	
positive).	
Let’s	start	focusing	on	character,	qualities,	and	compassion	over	
whether	we’re	thin	enough	 or	attractive	enough	or	strong	enough
There	is	so	much	more	value	to	life!
Calorie	Talk
“This	is	rich”,	“this	is	fattening”,	”that	has	xxx	calories”,	etc… is	
triggering	 to	teens	who	are	already	obsessing	over	their	food.
Foods	should	be	considered	for	their	nutrition,	 not	just	their	
calories.
From	a	young	age,	start	making	gratitude	lists!
….	and	include	things	about	your	body
Tell	them	that	models,	actors,	K-pop	artists,	
facebook pictures,	etc… are	
fake/tweaked/altered/unhealthy	ideals
Too	often,	we	compare	ourselves	to	others.	Nowadays,	kids	are	being	
bombarded	 by	photos	of	others	who	are	trying	to	“look	good”,	 by	messages	
from	companies	trying	to	sell	them	the	message	that	they	are	defective	but	
that	this	can	be	fixed	at	a	price,	etc.	It’s	overwhelming.	
Because	our	own	happiness	has	a	lot	to	do	with	how	we	think	we	compare	to	
others,	evaluating	ourselves	with	images	which	aren’t	even	real	sets	us	up	for	
failure.	And	our	children	don’t	naturally	have	the	perspective	to	know	that	
they	are	being	set	up	to	feel	less	than.	
Not	buying	 into	the	fantasy,	the	lure,	etc… will	help	our	children	gain	some	
perspective.
Stress	free	meals
Mealtimes	are	not	the	times	for	arguments,	tensions,	or	conflict.
Abstain	from	getting	involved	in	power	struggles	around	eating.	Don’t	nag	
about	eating	or	not	eating.		
If	eating/not	eating	is	about	managing	stress,	nagging	 will	only	encourage	
the	behavior.
Offer	genuine	validation	
that	is	non-weight	focused
“I	love	you”
“You	worked	hard	on	that,	and	I’m	proud	of	you”
“You	are	so	kind/curious/understanding,	 etc”
”Let’s	go	for	a	walk	together.	I	want	to	spend	some	time	with	you.”
“I	overheard	your	dad	talking	to	family	and	saying	how	proud	he	is	about	
how	caring	you	are	as	an	older	sister”
“You	looked	 like	you	had	a	great	time	singing	on	stage.	It	was	fun	watching	
you!”
“I’m	noticing	that	you’re	making	healthy	decisions	for	yourself	these	days,	
and	it’s	really	great	to	see”
“It’s	great	self-care	for	you	to	be	going	to	speak	to	the	counsellor/getting	 a	
massage/doing	yoga,	etc.	Is	there	anything	else	you’d	like	to	try	that	I	can	
support	you	with?”
What	to	do	if	you	notice	or	they	tell	you	they	
have	developed	disordered	eating	patterns
If	you	overhear	them	purging	 or	you	know	they’re	lying	to	you	when	they	say	
they’ve	already	eaten,	my	first	recommendation	would	be	not	to	address	the	
issue	right	then	and	there.	
You	need	time	to	think	about	what	you’re	going	to	say	and	it’s	best	to	have	this	
type	of	conversation	when	both	of	you	are	feeling	more	calm,	neutral,	and	
non-judgmental.	
Set	a	private	time	and	place	to	talk.	Choose	to	have	these	conversations	away	
from	the	dinner	table.	
Use	“I”	statements	to	state	what	you’ve	observed:	“I’m	not	upset	with	you,	but	
I	care	about	you	and	I’d	like	to	know	what’s	bothering	 you.	I	overheard	you	
purging.	I	know	that	purging	 can	be	a	sign	of	stress.	Are	there	things	that	have	
been	upsetting	or	stressful	for	you?”	or	“I	have	noticed	that	you	aren’t	eating	
dinner	with	us	anymore.	Is	dinner	time	a	stressful	time?”
Talk	about	behaviors	not	related	to	food/weight.	“You	seem	more	
stressed.”	“You	don’t	seem	to	smile	as	often	anymore”.	
Remove	judgment- there’s	no	shame	in	admitting	a	struggle.	
Offer	support	to	go	and	talk	to	a	counsellor;	either	in	school	or	out	of	
school.	
Avoid	overly	simplistic	solutions.	“Just	eat”	is	not	helpful.	It	can	leave	the	
sufferer	feeling	frustrated/defensive/misunderstood.	
Remain	calm	but	proactive.	Do	not	jump	to	conclusions,	 do	not	
catastrophize,	but	also	do	not	ignore	this	issue.	Your	child	needs	to	be	
seen.	If	there	is	an	issue,	it’s	important	to	address	it.	
What	to	do	if	you	notice	or	they	tell	you	they	
have	developed	disordered	eating	patterns
https://play.kahoot.it/#/k/3e7935a5-5c52-476d-8e7a-408c3d087d0b
Kahoot Quiz!
Parent nutrition workshop
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