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C H A P T E R
At bottom every man (sic) knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this
earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diver-
sity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
T
here seems to be a prevailing view that to be an accomplished psychotherapist one
must be well versed in evidence-based treatments (EBTs) or in those models that have
been shown in randomized clinical trials (RCTs) to be efficacious for different “disor-
ders.”The idea here is to make psychological interventions dummy-proof, where the people—
the client and the therapist—are basically irrelevant (Duncan & Reese, 2012). Just plug in the
diagnosis, do the prescribed treatment, and, voilà, cure or symptom amelioration occurs! This
medical view of therapy is perhaps the most empirically vacuous aspect of EBTs because the
treatment itself accounts for so little of outcome variance, while the client and the therapist—
and their relationship—account for so much more. The fact of the matter is that psycho-
therapy is decidedly a relational, not a medical, endeavor (Duncan, 2010), one that is wholly
dependent on the participants and the quality of their interpersonal connection.
A long time ago in a galaxy far way, I was in my initial clinical placement in graduate
school at the local state hospital. This practicum was largely, if not totally, intended to be an
assessment experience. Tina, my first client ever, was like a lot of the clients—young, poor,
disenfranchised, heavily medicated, and on the merry-go-round of hospitalizations—and at
the ripe old age of 22, she was called a “chronic schizophrenic.”
I gathered up my WAIS (Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale), the first of the battery of tests
I was attempting to gain competence with, and was on my merry but nervous way to the
assessment office, a stark, run-down room in a long past its prime, barrack-style building
that reeked of cleaning fluids overused to cover up some other worse smell, the institu-
tional stench. But on the way, I couldn’t help but notice all the looks I was getting—a smirk
29
The Person of the Therapist: One
Therapist’s Journey to Relationship
Barry L. Duncan
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE458
from then on. I wound up getting to know
Tina pretty well and often reminded her how
she had helped me. The more I got to know
Tina and realized that her actions, stemming
from horrific abuse, were attempts to take
control of situations in which she felt pow-
erless, the angrier I became about her being
used as a rite of passage for the psychology
trainees—a practice that I stopped.
I’ll never forget the lessons that Tina
taught me in the very beginning of my psy-
chotherapy journey: Authenticity matters,
and when in doubt or in need of help, ask the
client because you are in this thing together.
Thanks, Tina, for charting my course toward
relationship.
This chapter addresses the person of
the therapist and what qualities of thera-
pists make a difference in outcomes—after
the client, the therapist is the most potent
aspect of change in therapy, and in most
respects is the therapy. With that empiri-
cally based assertion as a backdrop, the
factors that account for change are pre-
sented, and through stories of clients, I
describe my journey to a relational per-
spective of psychotherapy.
THE COMMON FACTORS
It is easier to discover a deficiency in
individuals,instates,andinProvidence,
than to see their real import and value.
—Hegel
To understand the common factors, it is
first necessary to separate the variance due
to psychotherapy from that attributed to cli-
ent/life factors, those variables incidental to
the treatment model, idiosyncratic to the
specific client, and part of the client’s life
circumstances that aid in recovery despite
participation in therapy (Asay & Lambert,
1999)—everything about the client that has
nothing to do with us (see Figure 29.1).
from an orderly, a wink from a nurse, and
funny-looking smiles from nearly everyone
else. My curiosity piqued, I was just about
to ask what was going on when the chief
psychologist put his hand on my shoulder
and said, “Barry, you might want to leave
the door open.” And I did.
I greeted Tina, an extremely pale young
woman with short brown, cropped hair,
who might have looked a bit like Mia
Farrow in the Rosemary’s Baby era had Tina
lived in friendlier circumstances, and intro-
duced myself in my most professional voice.
And before I could sit down and open up my
test kit, Tina started to take off her clothes,
mumbling something indiscernible. I just
stared in disbelief, in total shock really. Tina
was undaunted by my dismay and quickly
was down to her bra and underwear when I
finally broke my silence, hearing laughter in
the distance, and said, “Tina, what are you
doing?” Tina responded not with words but
with actions, removing her bra like it had
suddenly become very uncomfortable. So
there we were, a graduate student, speech-
less, in his first professional encounter, and
a client sitting nearly naked, mumbling now
quite loudly but still nothing I could under-
stand, and contemplating whether to stand
up to take her underwear off or simply con-
tinue her mission while sitting.
Finally, in desperation, I pleaded, “Tina,
would you please do me a big favor? I mean
I would really appreciate it.” She looked
at me for the first time and said, “What?”
I replied, “I would really be grateful if you
could put your clothes back on and help me
get through this assessment. I’ve done them
before, but never with a client, and I am
kinda freaked out about it.” Tina whispered
“Sure,” put her clothes back on, and com-
pleted the testing.
I was so appreciative of Tina’s help that I
told her she really pulled me through my first
real assessment. She smiled proudly, and ulti-
mately smiled at me every time she saw me
The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 459
common factors—the client is the engine of
change (Bohart & Tallman, 2010).
If we do not recruit these unique client
contributions to outcome, we are inclined to
fail. When I was an intern, I worked in an
outpatient unit that provided “stress man-
agement” services but mainly was devoted to
clients with the moniker “severely mentally
ill.” By that time, I had experience in two
community mental health centers and the
aforementioned stint in the state hospital.
The hospital experience lingered, leaving me
with a bad taste in my mouth. Now, in my
internship position, my charge was to help
people stay out of the hospital, and I took
that charge quite seriously.
One of my first clients was Peter. Peter
was not very well liked because he some-
times said ominous things to other clients in
the waiting room or often spoke in a bois-
terous way about how the florescent lights
Calculated from the oft-reported .80
effect size of therapy, the proportion of out-
come attributable to treatment (14%) is
depicted by the small circle nested within
the larger circle at the lower right side of the
left circle. The variance accounted for by
client factors (86%), including unexplained
and error variance, is represented by the
large circle on the left. Even a casual inspec-
tion reveals the disproportionate influence
of what the client brings to therapy. More
conservative estimates put the client’s
contribution at 40% (Lambert, 2013). As
examples, persistence, faith, a supportive
grandmother, depression, membership in a
religious community, divorce, a new job,
a chance encounter with a stranger, and a
crisis successfully managed all may be
included. Although hard to research
because of their idiosyncratic nature, these
elements are the most powerful of the
Figure 29.1  The Common Factors
Client/Life factors (86%) (includes unexplained and error variance)
Treatment effects
14%
Feedback effects
21%–42%
Alliance effects
36%–50%
Model/Technique:
Specific effects
(model differences)
7%
Model/Technique:
General effects (rational
and ritual), client
expectancy (hope, placebo),
and therapist allegiance
28–?%
Therapist effects
36%–57%
NOTE: There is some controversy surrounding how potent this effect is, hence the question mark.
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE460
home for the first time, overwhelmed by life,
training day and night to keep his spot on
the racing team, topped off by his falling in
love for the first time. When the relation-
ship ended, it was too much for Peter, and
he was hospitalized, and then hospitalized
again, and again, and so on until there was
no more money or insurance—then the state
hospitalizations ensued.
Enjoying a level of conversation not
achieved before, I asked Peter what it would
take to get him going again on his bike. He
said that his bike had a broken wheel, and
he needed me to accompany him to the bike
shop. Peter was afraid to go out in public
alone for fear of threatening someone and
ending up in the hospital. I immediately
consulted with my supervisor, who gave me
an enthusiastic green light. The next day, I
went with Peter to the bike shop, where I
bought a bike as well. Peter and I started
having our sessions biking together. Peter
still struggled with the voices at times, but
he stayed out of the hospital, and they never
kept him from biking. He eventually joined
a bike club and moved into an unsupervised
living arrangement.
You can read a lot of books about
“schizophrenia” and its treatment, but you’ll
never find one that recommends biking as a
cure. And you can read a lot of books about
treatments in general, and you’ll never read a
better idea about a client dilemma than will
emerge from a unique client in relationship
with you—a person who cares and wants to
be helpful.
Figure 29.1 also illustrates the second step
in understanding the common factors. The
second, larger circle in the center depicts the
overlapping elements that form the 14% of
variance attributable to therapy. Visually,
the relationship among the common factors
is more accurately represented with a Venn
diagram, using overlapping circles and shad-
ing to demonstrate mutual and interdepen-
dent actions.
controlled his thinking through a hole in his
head. As a new intern, I was put under con-
siderable pressure to address Peter’s less than
endearing behaviors, particularly because he
sometimes offended the stress management
clients, who were seen as coveted treasures.
Actually, Peter was a terrific guy with a very
dry sense of humor, but a man of little hope
who lived in dread of returning to the state
hospital. His behaviors were mostly distrac-
tion efforts from the tormenting voices that
told him that people were trying to kill him.
Peter’s unfortunate routine was that
he was terrorized by these voices until he
started taking action that would ultimately
wind him up in the state hospital. He might
empty his refrigerator for fear that someone
had poisoned his food, creating a stench that
would soon bring in the landlord and ulti-
mately the authorities. Or, occasionally, he
would start threatening or menacing oth-
ers, those he believed were trying to kill him.
Once hospitalized, his medications were
changed, usually increased in dose, and he
essentially slept out the crisis. These cycles
occurred about every 4 to 6 months and had
done so for the past 8 years. Peter’s “treat-
ment” brought with it tardive dyskinesia and
about 100 pounds of extra weight.
I felt profoundly sad for this young man,
who was about the same age as me. I also felt
completely helpless. I knew he was ramping
up for another admission—he had already
emptied his refrigerator and left the contents
on the kitchen floor.
Only because I had no clue what to do, I
asked Peter what he thought it would take
to get a little relief from his situation—just a
glimpse of a break from the torment of the
voices and the revolving-door hospitaliza-
tions. After a long pause, Peter said that it
would help if he could start riding his bike
again, and he told me about what his life
was like before the bottom fell out. Peter
had been a competitive cyclist in college. I
heard the story of a young man away from
The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 461
more positive findings (Beutler et al., 2004).
For example, Kraus, Castonguay, Boswell,
Nordberg, and Hayes (2011) found that
therapist competencies can be domain spe-
cific, as some therapists were better at treat-
ing certain “conditions.” Specificity in the
definition of experience may be important.
My colleagues and I put this to the test in our
examination of therapist effects in the study
mentioned above (Owen et al., in press).
This analysis revealed that, similar to other
studies, demographics were not significant
but specific experience in couple therapy
explained 25% of the variance accounted
for by therapists. So experienced therapists
can take some solace that getting older does
have its advantages—as long as it is specific
to the task at hand.
And the absolute certainty—the client’s
view of the alliance is not only a robust
predictor of therapy outcomes but also per-
haps the best avenue to understand therapist
differences. Marcus, Kashy, and Baldwin
(2009) noted,
High levels of consensus in client ratings of
their therapist indicate that clients of the
same therapist tend to agree about the
traits or characteristics of their therapist,
suggesting that there is something about
the therapist’s manner or behavior that
evokes similar response from all of his or
her clients. (p. 538)
Baldwin, Wampold, and Imel (2007)
found only modest therapist variability (2%)
compared with other studies, but they
reported that therapist average alliance qual-
ity accounted for 97% of that variability.
Owen et al. (in press) found that therapist
average alliance quality accounted for 50%
of the variability in outcomes attributed to
therapists. In general, research strongly sug-
gests that clients seen by therapists with
higher average alliance ratings have better
outcomes (Crits-Christoph et al., 2009;
Zuroff, Kelly, Leybman, Blatt, & Wampold,
Therapist Effects
Therapist effects represent the amount
of variance attributable not to the model
wielded but rather to who the therapist is—
it’s no surprise that the participants in the
therapeutic endeavor account for the lion’s
share of how change occurs. Depending on
whether therapist variability is investigated
in efficacy or effectiveness studies, a recent
meta-analysis suggested that 5% to 7% of
the overall variance is accounted for by ther-
apist effects (Baldwin & Imel, 2013).1
This
is a conservative finding compared with ear-
lier estimates that suggested that 8% to 9%
of the variance is accounted for by therapist
factors (Wampold, 2005), including a recent
investigation by my colleagues and I (Owen,
Duncan, Reese, Anker, & Sparks, in press),
which found that 8% of the variability was
accounted for by therapists. Therefore, in
Figure 29.1, a 5% to 8% range is depicted,
or 36% to 57% of the variance attributed
to treatment. The amount of variance, there-
fore, accounted for by therapist factors is
about five to eight times more than that of
model differences.
Although we know that some therapists
are better than others, there is not a lot of
research about what specifically distin-
guishes the best from the rest. Demographics
(gender, ethnicity, discipline, and experi-
ence) don’t seem to matter much (Beutler
et al., 2004), and although a variety of thera-
pist interpersonal variables seem intuitively
important, there is not much empirical sup-
port for any particular quality or attribute
(Baldwin & Imel, 2013). So what does mat-
ter? There’s a preliminary possibility and one
absolute certainty.
A possibility is experience, but not the
generic kind that we were often told would
make us better. A criticism often leveled at
research investigating therapist experience
is that it is not operationally defined and
that a more sophisticated look may yield
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE462
predictive beyond early benefit suggests a
more causal relationship.
Based on the profound work of Carl
Rogers (1957), the concepts of empathy,
positive regard, and genuineness still repre-
sent the best way to understand and facilitate
the relational bond. Rogers (1980) defined
empathy as the “therapist’s sensitive ability
and willingness to understand the client’s
thoughts, feelings and struggles from the cli-
ent’s point of view” (p. 85). It is important
to remember that perceived empathy is quite
idiosyncratic; some experience empathy as
an affective connection, some as a cognitive
understanding, and others as a more nurtur-
ing experience (Bachelor, 1988). So there is
no single, invariably facilitative empathic
response, but finding how clients experience
empathy is well worth the effort. A recent
meta-analysis of 57 studies looking at empa-
thy and outcome (Elliott, Bohart, Watson, &
Greenberg, 2011) found a significant rela-
tionship, an r of .31. Similarly, another idea
championed by Rogers, unconditional posi-
tive regard, characterized as warm accep-
tance of the client’s experience without
conditions, a prizing, an affirmation, and a
deep nonpossessive caring or love (Rogers,
1957), continues to demonstrate the
centrality of the relationship to outcome.
A recent meta-analysis of 18 studies exam-
ining positive regard and outcome found a
significant relationship, an r of .27 (Farber
& Doolin, 2011). And finally, there’s con-
gruence/genuineness, “that the therapist is
mindfully genuine in the therapy relation-
ship, underscoring present personal aware-
ness, as well as genuineness or authenticity”
(Kolden, Klein, Wang, & Austin, 2011,
p. 65). Kolden et al. (2011) meta-analyzed
16 studies and found a significant relation-
ship between congruence/genuineness and
outcome, an r of .24. Lambert (2013) rightly
notes that these relationship variable corre-
lations are much higher than those of spe-
cific treatments and outcome. A gas furnace
2010). These results suggest that enhancing
alliance abilities may provide a clear path-
way to better results (see Duncan, 2010). So
the answer to the oft-heard question about
why some therapists are better than others is
that tried and true but taken-for-granted old
friend, the therapeutic alliance.
The Alliance
Bordin (1979) defined the alliance with
three interacting elements: (1) a relational
bond, (2) agreement on the goals of ther-
apy, and (3) agreement on the tasks of
therapy. Historically, the amount of vari-
ance attributed to the alliance has ranged
from 5% to 7% of the overall variance or
36% to 50% of the variance accounted for
by treatment (e.g., Horvath & Bedi, 2002)
More recently, Horvath, Del Re, Flückiger,
and Symonds (2011) examined 201 studies
and found the correlation between the alli-
ance and outcome to be r = .28, accounting
for a slightly higher 7.5% of the variance.
Putting this into perspective, the amount of
change attributable to the alliance is about
five to seven times that of a specific model
or technique.
Based on studies showing that early
change accounted for most of the vari-
ance attributed to the alliance, some have
suggested that the relationship of the alli-
ance to outcome could be a consequence
of how much clients are benefiting from
therapy (e.g., Barber, 2009). However, sev-
eral recent studies have confirmed that there
appears to be little evidence that control-
ling for prior change substantially reduces
or eliminates the alliance–outcome correla-
tion (Crits-Christoph, Connolly Gibbons,
& Mukherjee, 2013; Horvath et al., 2011).
Similarly, my colleagues and I (Anker,
Owen, Duncan, & Sparks, 2010) found that
the alliance at the third session significantly
predicted outcome over and above early
reliable change. The fact that the alliance is
The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 463
After setting up camp the first night, I felt
inexplicably worried about Maria. This was
before cell phones. So I hiked 4 miles back
to my truck in the darkness and drove to a
pay phone in a nearby town to see how she
was getting along. She was okay.
That call proved to be a turning point.
Afterward, Maria became proactive in
therapy and outside it. She started going to
church, got involved in a singles group, and
signed up for additional technical training
that would allow her to change jobs. Her
thoughts of suicide stopped, and she discon-
tinued taking antidepressants. In sessions,
at her direction, we talked less about how
lousy she felt and more about how she could
change her life. Over the next 6 months,
she left her unrewarding job, where every-
one knew her as a psychiatric casualty, and
joined a medical missionary project in Asia.
Six months later, she wrote to let me know
that things were going pretty well for her in
northern Thailand:
I picture myself in your office, just telling
you stuff and you listening. Every time I
called you, you called me back. It didn’t
always help, but you were there. And I real-
ized that is just what a little girl would
want from her daddy, what I had been
missing all my life and wanting so badly.
Finally, when I was 35 years old, someone
gave it to me. I sure am glad I got to know
what it feels like to have someone care
about me in that way. It was a beautiful gift
you gave me. You also made me realize
how much God loves me. When you called
me that weekend you went backpacking, I
thought to myself, “If a human can do that
for me, then I believe what the Bible says
about us all the time.” So thanks for loving
me—because that’s what you did.
Maria taught me to honor the client’s
view of the alliance—she knew that she
needed a certain sort of contact to heal, and I
gave it to her.That was not all I did, but it was
explosion when Maria was 6 years old had
killed both her father and sister. Her mother
had collapsed emotionally after the accident
and spent most of her days in bed. Maria
had essentially grown up without a parent
and, partly as a result, had been repeatedly
sexually abused by an uncle. By the time I
saw her, Maria was 35 and had been in ther-
apy and taking antidepressants for most of
her life. She held a responsible but unsatisfy-
ing job in a biotechnology company. Maria
had tried to kill herself five times, leading to
five psychiatric stays. She called her latest
therapist eight or nine times a day, leaving
agonized messages with the answering ser-
vice, demanding to be called back. Perhaps
because of her borderline diagnosis, Maria’s
demands were rarely, if ever, met by her
therapist, which provoked Maria into esca-
lating levels of distress and self-harming. She
was headed toward another suicide attempt
when her resentful and burned-out therapist
referred her, with a sense of relief, to me and
an investigation I was involved in called the
“impossible”-case project (Duncan, Hubble,
& Miller, 1997).
After consultation with my colleagues,
I decided to encourage Maria’s calls and
nurture rather than limit our relationship. I
worked hard to court Maria’s favor during
our first three sessions, and it wasn’t easy.
She sat in my office tight-lipped, twisting
a handkerchief in her hands. She told me
from the first that she wanted her phone
calls returned, because she only called when
she was in really bad shape. I returned
her calls when I had spare time during the
workday and again in the evenings after my
last client, talking each time for about 15
minutes. Perhaps because I reliably called
her back, she rarely called more than once
or twice a day. In our sessions, she seemed
to get softer.
Then, after our sixth session, I went
on a backpacking trip with my son Jesse,
entrusting my colleagues to cover for me.
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE464
only as effective as its delivery system—the
client–therapist relationship. So you can’t
have a good alliance without some agree-
ment about how therapy is going to address
the issues at hand. Tryon and Winograd
(2011) conducted two meta-analyses related
to the agreement on tasks—goal consensus
(which included agreement on tasks) and
collaboration—and their relationship to out-
come. Looking at 15 studies, they found a
goal consensus–outcome d of .34, indicating
that better outcomes can be expected when
client and therapist agree on goals and the
processes to achieve them. Based on 19 stud-
ies, the collaboration–outcome meta-analysis
found a d of .33, suggesting that outcome is
likely enhanced when client and therapist are
in a cooperative relationship. So your client’s
perception of any of the big three relational
variables as well as agreement about goals
and the methods to attain them are individu-
ally more powerful than any technique you
can ever wield..
Perhaps the most important part of this
collaboration is whether the favored expla-
nation and ritual of the therapist fits client
preferences. Swift, Callahan, and Vollmer
(2011) conducted a meta-analysis of 35
studies of client preference, breaking client
preferences into three areas: role, therapist,
and treatment preferences. They found that
clients who received their preferred condi-
tions were less likely to drop out and that
the overall effect size for client preference
was d = .31. So it makes sense to ensure that
whatever explanation and ritual is chosen is
a framework that both the therapist and the
client can get behind.
Your alliance skills are truly at play here:
your interpersonal ability to explore the cli-
ent’s ideas, discuss options, collaboratively
form a plan, and negotiate any changes
when benefit to the client is not forthcoming.
Traditionally, the search has been for inter-
ventions that promote change by validating
the affectionate container for our conver-
sations, which included discussions of what
she wanted to change and how she could
make it happen. Maria also taught me the
power found in simple acts of human caring,
in empathy and positive regard. Of course, I
had no idea of the connection of my actions
to her desire for a loving father; it never
occurred to me, perhaps because we were
close in age. Within the limits of what I can
ethically and personally manage, I have
learned to provide as much human caring
and nonpossessive love as possible.
The more cognitive aspects of the alliance
are the agreements with the client about
the goals and tasks of therapy. When we
ask clients what they want to be different,
we give credibility to their beliefs and val-
ues regarding the problem and its solution.
Collaborative goal formation begins the
process of change, wherever the client may
ultimately travel. Tasks include specific tech-
niques or points of view, topics of conversa-
tion, interview procedures, the frequency of
meetings, and all the nuts and bolts aspects
of doing the work, including scheduling,
cancellation, payment, and between-session
contacts. These are all aspects of the task
dimension and can count for or against us
in the alliance. In our follow-up study of the
Norway Feedback Project, we found that
the highest category of complaints was the
everyday aspects of providing service (Anker,
Sparks, Duncan, Owen, & Stapnes, 2011).
Asking for help to set the tasks of therapy
further demonstrates respect for client capa-
bilities, and sets the stage for further efforts
to enlist participation. This is probably our
biggest alliance blind spot. In an important
way, the alliance depends on the delivery of
some particular treatment or technique—a
framework for understanding and solving
the problem (Hatcher & Barends, 2006).
There can be no alliance without a treat-
ment, and on the other hand, technique is
The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 465
It’s hard work. We often think that
“therapeutic work” only applies to clients;
it actually applies to us too. We have to earn
this thing called the alliance. We have to put
ourselves out there with each and every per-
son, each and every interaction, and each
and every session. It is a daunting task to
be sure, but one whose importance and dif-
ficulty are perpetually minimized. It gets so
little press compared with models and tech-
niques and is often relegated to statements
like “First gain rapport and then . . . ” or
“Form a relationship and then . . . ”—as
if it is something we effortlessly do before
the real intervention starts. The alliance is
not the anesthesia to surgery. We don’t offer
Rogerian reflections to lull clients into com-
placency so we can stick the real interven-
tion to them! Intervention is not therapy.
When Lisbeth was introduced to me in
the waiting room, she told me to go f . . . k
myself. I was doing a consult because this
16-year-old was refusing to go to school and
had assaulted five foster parents. Lisbeth
was one angry adolescent, and my initial
thought was “Wouldn’t it be sweet if she
told me what she was angry about,” because
I knew there had to be a good reason. In the
opening moments, I asked Lisbeth what she
thought would be most useful for us to talk
about and she said, “What I think of you is
that you are a condescending bastard with no
understanding of your clients whatsoever!”
Whew, she knew how to hit where it hurt!
But slowly, and surely, I listened, and I didn’t
react to her as others had likely responded.
I maintained my conviction that if I under-
stood her story, everything—especially her
anger—would make complete sense. For
example, she told me how she refused medi-
cation in one of her many hospitalizations
and had threatened to break the kneecaps of
the psychiatrist who attempted to force her
to take meds. This likely stimulated replies
about the inappropriateness of her violent
the therapist’s favored theory. Serving the
alliance requires taking a different angle:
the search for ideas that promote change
by validating the client’s view of what
is helpful—the client’s theory of change
(Duncan & Moynihan, 1994). The appli-
cation of any agreed-on explanation or
technique represents the alliance in action.
Perhaps some idiosyncratic blend of client
ideas, yours, and theoretical/technical ones
might ultimately be just the ticket. The lit-
mus test of any chosen rationale or ritual is
whether or not it engages the client in pur-
posive work and makes a difference.
THE ALLIANCE: ONE LAST WORD
We all have clients who rapidly respond to
us, to whom we connect quickly. But what
about the folks who are mandated by the
courts or protective services or who just
plain don’t want to be there (like almost all
kids)? What about people who have never
been in a good relationship or have been
abused or traumatized? What about folks
that life just never seems to give a break or
those who have lost hope? Well, the thera-
pist’s job, our job, is exactly the same
regardless. If we want anything good to
happen, it all rests on a strong alliance—we
have to engage the client in purposeful
work. The research about what differenti-
ates one therapist from another as well as
my personal experience suggest that the
ability to form alliances with people who
are not easy to form alliances with—to
engage people who don’t want to be
engaged—separates the best from the rest.
For example, Anderson, Ogles, Patterson,
Lambert, and Vermeersch (2009) found a
significant relationship between how thera-
pists responded to challenging clients on a
performance test of interpersonal skills and
their outcomes in actual practice.
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE466
MODEL/TECHNIQUE: GENERAL
EFFECTS (EXPLANATION AND
RITUAL), CLIENT EXPECTANCY
(HOPE, PLACEBO), AND
THERAPIST ALLEGIANCE
Ensuring that any selected treatment reso-
nates with both the client (expectancy) and
the therapist (allegiance) also complements
the so-called placebo factors, or the general
effects of delivering any model or technique.
Model/technique factors are the beliefs and
procedures unique to any given treatment.
But these specific effects, the impact of the
differences among treatments, are very
small—only about 1% of the overall vari-
ance or 7% of that attributable to treatment.
But the general effects of providing a treat-
ment are far more potent. When a placebo
or technically “inert” condition is offered in
a manner that fosters positive expectations
for improvement, it reliably produces effects
almost as large as a bona fide treatment
(Baskin, Tierney, Minami, & Wampold,
2003). (There is some controversy surround-
ing how potent this effect is, hence the ques-
tion mark in Figure 29.1.) Models achieve
their effects in large part, if not completely,
through the activation of placebo, hope, and
expectancy, combined with the therapist’s
belief in (allegiance to) the treatment admin-
istered. As long as a treatment makes sense
to, is accepted by, and fosters the active
engagement of the client, the particular
approach used is unimportant. Placebo fac-
tors are also fueled by a therapist belief that
change occurs naturally and almost univer-
sally—the human organism, shaped by mil-
lennia of evolution and survival, tends to
heal and to find a way, even out of the heart
of darkness (Sparks & Duncan, 2010).
Feedback Effects
Common-factors research provides gen-
eral guidance for enhancing those elements
tendencies, ad nauseam. I simply said that
she didn’t want to kill the psychiatrist, after
all, but only wanted to permanently impair
her, a significant difference. And I got a
slight smile, and a bit more conversation.
Lisbeth told me that she had been
removed from her home at age 13 because of
multiple sexual abuses by her mother’s boy-
friends, and since then, she had been in five
foster care homes; the fifth foster care par-
ent was Sophie, who sat before me now. She
also told me that the previous 18 months of
therapy had not addressed her goal of telling
her mother off, once and for all. In fact, no
attempt was made to allow any approxima-
tion of this to happen.
After a while of allowing her story to
wash over me, I ventured a comment that
Lisbeth was like a salty old sailor, she
cursed like a sailor and had a storied life—
she was crusty at the ripe old age of 16.
She smiled in a way that acknowledged
that I both understood and appreciated
her. Lisbeth rewarded me with an explana-
tion of her anger. She told me how she was
relieved to be removed from her home and
that her first foster care parent expressed
her intention to adopt both Lisbeth and her
5-year-old sister. But instead, her sister was
adopted, and Lisbeth was dumped. That’s
when the assaults started and the complete
dismissal of school. So the first adult that
she trusted, after having none in her life
worthy of her trust, betrayed her totally
and completely.
There is no more righteous anger than
this kid felt. I said that, and we connected.
And Lisbeth, via work with others who
finally addressed her goal for therapy,
completed her GED (General Educational
Development) online and settled in with her
foster parents. The relationship is not always
easy, and it demands a lot from us, but it is
almost always not only worth the effort but
also why we became therapists—at least,
why I became a therapist.
The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 467
improvement, fits client preferences, maxi-
mizes therapist–client alliance potential
and client participation, and is itself a core
feature of therapeutic change. Feedback
embodies the lessons I learned from Tina,
providing for a transparent interpersonal
process that solicits the client’s help in
ensuring a positive outcome.
MY JOURNEY TO RELATIONSHIP:
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Listening creates a holy silence.When
you listen generously to people, they
can hear the truth in themselves,
often for the first time. And when
you listen deeply, you can know
yourself in everyone.
Rachel Remen,
Kitchen Table Wisdom
I was recently asked (Kottler & Carlson,
2014) what it is that I do, and who I am, that
most made my work effective (assuming that
it is). What I do that is most important in
contributing to my effectiveness is that I rou-
tinely measure outcome and the alliance (via
PCOMS). This allows me to deal directly and
transparently with clients, involving them in
all decisions that affect their care and keeping
their perspectives the centerpiece of everything
I do. In addition, it serves as an early-warning
device that identifies clients who are not ben-
efiting, so that the client and I can chart a dif-
ferent course, which in turn encourages me to
step outside my therapeutic business-as-usual,
do things I’ve never done before, and there-
fore continue to grow as a therapist. This also
allows me to focus every session with every
client on the alliance, so that I tailor what I do
to the client’s expectations. Finally, tracking
outcome and the alliance also enables proac-
tive efforts to improve, without guesswork or
waiting for the platitudes about experience
to manifest. It enables our clients—especially
shown to be most influential to positive
outcomes. The specifics, however, can
only be derived from the client’s response
to what we deliver—the client’s feed-
back regarding progress in therapy and
the quality of the alliance. Although it
sounds like hyperbole, identifying clients
who are not benefiting is the single most
important thing a therapist can do to
improve outcomes. Combining Lambert’s
Outcome Questionnaire System (Lambert
& Shimokawa, 2011) and our Partners
for Change Outcome Manage­ment System
(PCOMS) (e.g., Anker, Duncan, & Sparks,
2009; Reese, Norsworthy, & Rowlands,
2009), nine RCTs now support this asser-
tion. A recent meta-analysis of PCOMS
studies (Lambert & Shimokawa, 2011)
found that those in the feedback group
had 3.5 higher odds of experiencing reli-
able change and less than half the odds of
experiencing deterioration. In addition,
collecting outcome and alliance feedback
from clients allows the systematic tracking
of therapist development, so that neither
client benefit nor therapist growth over
time is left to wishful thinking. Visit https://
heartandsoulofchange.com/ for more infor­
mation (The measures are free for individ-
ual use and are available in 23 languages.).
PCOMS is listed by the Substance Abuse
and Mental Health Administration as an
evidence-based practice. It is different
from what is usually considered evidence
based because feedback is atheoretical and
therefore additive to any therapeutic ori-
entation and applies to clients of all diag-
nostic categories (Duncan, 2012).
An inspection of Figure 29.1 shows that
feedback overlaps and affects all the fac-
tors—it is the tie that binds them together—
allowing the other common factors to be
delivered one client at a time. Soliciting
systematic feedback is a living, ongoing pro-
cess that engages clients in the collaborative
monitoring of outcome, heightens hope for
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE468
Although much psychopathological gob-
bledygook accompanied her, it was safe to
say that Rosa was a “difficult” child—prone
to tantrums, which included kicking, bit-
ing, and throwing anything she could find. I
began the session by asking Rosa if she was
going to help me today, and she immediately
yelled, “No!”—leaning back, with her arms
folded across her chest. As I turned to speak
with Enrique and Margarita, Rosa began
having a tantrum in earnest—screaming at
the top of her lungs and flailing around,
kicking me in the process.
With Rosa’s tantrum escalating, Margarita
dropped a bombshell. In a disarmingly quiet
voice, she announced that she didn’t think she
could continue foster-parenting Rosa. The
tension in the room immediately escalated;
the only sound was Rosa’s yelling, which had
become more or less rote at that point. I felt
as if I’d been kicked in the gut. I’d expected
to be helping the foster parents contain and
nurture a tough child. Now it felt like I was
participating in a tragedy in the making.
Here was a couple trying their best to do the
right thing by taking in a troubled kid with
nowhere else to go, but they seemed ready to
give up. The situation was obviously wrench-
ing for Margarita and Enrique, but it was
potentially catastrophic for Rosa. In this rural
setting, they were her last hope, not only of
living with family but of living nearby at all,
since the closest foster care placement was at
least 100 miles away. I contemplated Rosa’s
life unfolding in foster care with strangers,
who’d encounter the same difficulties and
likely come to the same impasse—resulting in
a nightmare of ongoing home placements.
What’sthecorrectdiagnosisforMargarita?
Is there an EBT for feeling overwhelmed,
hopeless, and not knowing whether you can
go on parenting a tough kid?
Margarita continued explaining why
she couldn’t go on, speaking softly while
tears rolled down her cheeks. Not only did
she feel she couldn’t handle Rosa, she also
those who aren’t responding well to our ther-
apeutic business-as-usual—to teach us how to
work better.
That’s what I do. But what I bring to
the therapeutic endeavor is that I am a true
believer. I believe in the client, I believe in the
power of relationship and psychotherapy as
a vehicle for change, and I believe in myself,
my ability to be present, fully immersed in
the client and dedicated to making a differ-
ence. The odds for change when you com-
bine a resourceful client, a strong alliance,
and an authentic therapist who brings him-
self or herself to the show are worth betting
on, certainly a cause for hope, and respon-
sible for my unswerving faith in psychother-
apy as a healing endeavor.
I believe in psychotherapy, not in spite
of its inherent uncertainty but because of it.
Although we long for the structured,scripted,
predictable, manualized, surefire way to con-
duct a session, uncertainty is endemic to the
work as it is to life, and therefore is impor-
tant to embrace. Uncertainty is the place of
unlimited possibilities for change. It is this
indeterminacy that gives therapy its texture
and infuses it with the excitement of discov-
ery. This allows for the “heretofore unsaid,”
the “aha moments,” and all the spontane-
ous ideas, connections, conclusions, plans,
insights, resolves, and new identities that
emerge when you put two people together in
a room and call it psychotherapy. Tolerance
for uncertainty creates the space for new
directions and insights to occur to both the
client and you.
Seven-year-old Rosa had gone to live
with foster parents—her aunt and uncle,
Margarita and Enrique—because the paren-
tal rights of her birth parents had been termi-
nated. Her father and mother were addicts
with long criminal records; the father was
in jail, and the mother was still using. Rosa
clearly had been born with two strikes
against her: (1) parents missing in action and
(2) her development impaired by drugs.
The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 469
born of hopelessness, had lost its strangle-
hold, though nothing had been said explic-
itly about that. Now all smiles and bubbly,
Rosa was bouncing up and down in her
chair. Somewhat out of the blue, Margarita
announced that she was going to stick with
Rosa. “Great,” I said quietly. Then, as the
full meaning of what she’d said washed
over me, I repeated it a bit louder, and then
a third time with enthusiasm—“Great!”
I asked Margarita if anything in particu-
lar had helped her come to this decision.
She answered that, although she’d always
known it, she’d realized in our session even
more than before that there was a wonder-
ful, loving child inside Rosa and that she,
Margarita, just had to be patient and take
things one day at a time. The session had
helped her really see the attachment that was
already there. I felt the joy of that moment
then, and I still do. Follow-up revealed that
this family stayed together. Margarita never
again lost her resolve to stick with Rosa. In
addition, many of Rosa’s more troubling
behaviors fell away, perhaps as a result of
having stability in her life for the first time.
In my view, the session included that inti-
mate space in which we connect with people
and their pain in a way that somehow opens
the path from what is to what can be. My
heartfelt appreciation of both the despair of
the circumstance and their sincere desire to
help this child, combined with the fortuitous
“attachment” experience, generated new
resolve for Margarita and Enrique. This ses-
sion taught me, once again, that anything is
possible—that even the bleakest sessions can
have a positive outcome if you stay with the
process. Just when things seemed the most
hopeless, when both the family and I were
surely down for the count and needed only
to accept the inevitable, something mean-
ingful and positive emerged that changed
everything—including me. This is the power
of relationship and why my psychotherapy
journey continues on course.
worried about the child’s attachment to her.
As Margarita expressed her doubts in a near
whisper, Enrique’s eyes began to tear up, and
a feeling of despair permeated the room. At
that moment, I felt helpless to prevent a terri-
ble ending to an already bad story and didn’t
have a clue about what to do. Meanwhile,
Margarita began gently caressing Rosa’s
head and speaking softly to her—the Spanish
equivalent of “There, there, little one”—
until the little girl started to calm down.
With her tantrum at an end, Rosa turned to
face Margarita, and then she reached up and
wiped the tears from her aunt’s face. “Don’t
cry, Auntie,” she said warmly, “don’t cry.”
Witnessing these actions was yet another
reminder to me of how new possibilities can
emergeatanymomentinaseeminglyhopeless
session and the uncertainty of what will hap-
pen next. “It’s tough to parent a child who’s
been through as much as Rosa has,” I said.“I
respect your need to really think through the
long-term consequences here. But I’m also
impressed with how gently you handled Rosa
when she was so upset and with how you,
Rosa, comforted your Auntie when you saw
her crying. Clearly there’s something special
about the connection between you two.”
Margarita replied that Rosa definitely had
a “sweet side.”When she saw that she’d upset
either Margarita or Enrique, she quickly
became soft, responsive, and tender. I began
to talk with Margarita and Enrique about
what seemed to work with Rosa and what
didn’t. While Rosa snuggled up to Margarita,
we talked about how to bring out Rosa’s
sweet side more often. As ideas emerged, I
was in awe, as I often am, of the fortitude cli-
ents show when facing formidable challenges.
Here was a couple in their late 40s, who’d
already raised their own two children, con-
sidering taking on the responsibility of raising
another one who had such a difficult history.
By now, the tension and despair present
a few moments before had evaporated. The
decision to discontinue foster parenting,
HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE470
NOTE
1.	 The percentages are best viewed as a defensible way to understand outcome
variance but not as representing any ultimate truths. They are meta-analytic estimates
of what each of the factors contributes to change. Because of the overlap among the
common factors, the percentages for the separate factors will not add to 100%.
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Duncan2014

  • 1. 457 C H A P T E R At bottom every man (sic) knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diver- sity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. —Friedrich Nietzsche T here seems to be a prevailing view that to be an accomplished psychotherapist one must be well versed in evidence-based treatments (EBTs) or in those models that have been shown in randomized clinical trials (RCTs) to be efficacious for different “disor- ders.”The idea here is to make psychological interventions dummy-proof, where the people— the client and the therapist—are basically irrelevant (Duncan & Reese, 2012). Just plug in the diagnosis, do the prescribed treatment, and, voilà, cure or symptom amelioration occurs! This medical view of therapy is perhaps the most empirically vacuous aspect of EBTs because the treatment itself accounts for so little of outcome variance, while the client and the therapist— and their relationship—account for so much more. The fact of the matter is that psycho- therapy is decidedly a relational, not a medical, endeavor (Duncan, 2010), one that is wholly dependent on the participants and the quality of their interpersonal connection. A long time ago in a galaxy far way, I was in my initial clinical placement in graduate school at the local state hospital. This practicum was largely, if not totally, intended to be an assessment experience. Tina, my first client ever, was like a lot of the clients—young, poor, disenfranchised, heavily medicated, and on the merry-go-round of hospitalizations—and at the ripe old age of 22, she was called a “chronic schizophrenic.” I gathered up my WAIS (Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale), the first of the battery of tests I was attempting to gain competence with, and was on my merry but nervous way to the assessment office, a stark, run-down room in a long past its prime, barrack-style building that reeked of cleaning fluids overused to cover up some other worse smell, the institu- tional stench. But on the way, I couldn’t help but notice all the looks I was getting—a smirk 29 The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship Barry L. Duncan
  • 2. HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE458 from then on. I wound up getting to know Tina pretty well and often reminded her how she had helped me. The more I got to know Tina and realized that her actions, stemming from horrific abuse, were attempts to take control of situations in which she felt pow- erless, the angrier I became about her being used as a rite of passage for the psychology trainees—a practice that I stopped. I’ll never forget the lessons that Tina taught me in the very beginning of my psy- chotherapy journey: Authenticity matters, and when in doubt or in need of help, ask the client because you are in this thing together. Thanks, Tina, for charting my course toward relationship. This chapter addresses the person of the therapist and what qualities of thera- pists make a difference in outcomes—after the client, the therapist is the most potent aspect of change in therapy, and in most respects is the therapy. With that empiri- cally based assertion as a backdrop, the factors that account for change are pre- sented, and through stories of clients, I describe my journey to a relational per- spective of psychotherapy. THE COMMON FACTORS It is easier to discover a deficiency in individuals,instates,andinProvidence, than to see their real import and value. —Hegel To understand the common factors, it is first necessary to separate the variance due to psychotherapy from that attributed to cli- ent/life factors, those variables incidental to the treatment model, idiosyncratic to the specific client, and part of the client’s life circumstances that aid in recovery despite participation in therapy (Asay & Lambert, 1999)—everything about the client that has nothing to do with us (see Figure 29.1). from an orderly, a wink from a nurse, and funny-looking smiles from nearly everyone else. My curiosity piqued, I was just about to ask what was going on when the chief psychologist put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Barry, you might want to leave the door open.” And I did. I greeted Tina, an extremely pale young woman with short brown, cropped hair, who might have looked a bit like Mia Farrow in the Rosemary’s Baby era had Tina lived in friendlier circumstances, and intro- duced myself in my most professional voice. And before I could sit down and open up my test kit, Tina started to take off her clothes, mumbling something indiscernible. I just stared in disbelief, in total shock really. Tina was undaunted by my dismay and quickly was down to her bra and underwear when I finally broke my silence, hearing laughter in the distance, and said, “Tina, what are you doing?” Tina responded not with words but with actions, removing her bra like it had suddenly become very uncomfortable. So there we were, a graduate student, speech- less, in his first professional encounter, and a client sitting nearly naked, mumbling now quite loudly but still nothing I could under- stand, and contemplating whether to stand up to take her underwear off or simply con- tinue her mission while sitting. Finally, in desperation, I pleaded, “Tina, would you please do me a big favor? I mean I would really appreciate it.” She looked at me for the first time and said, “What?” I replied, “I would really be grateful if you could put your clothes back on and help me get through this assessment. I’ve done them before, but never with a client, and I am kinda freaked out about it.” Tina whispered “Sure,” put her clothes back on, and com- pleted the testing. I was so appreciative of Tina’s help that I told her she really pulled me through my first real assessment. She smiled proudly, and ulti- mately smiled at me every time she saw me
  • 3. The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 459 common factors—the client is the engine of change (Bohart & Tallman, 2010). If we do not recruit these unique client contributions to outcome, we are inclined to fail. When I was an intern, I worked in an outpatient unit that provided “stress man- agement” services but mainly was devoted to clients with the moniker “severely mentally ill.” By that time, I had experience in two community mental health centers and the aforementioned stint in the state hospital. The hospital experience lingered, leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth. Now, in my internship position, my charge was to help people stay out of the hospital, and I took that charge quite seriously. One of my first clients was Peter. Peter was not very well liked because he some- times said ominous things to other clients in the waiting room or often spoke in a bois- terous way about how the florescent lights Calculated from the oft-reported .80 effect size of therapy, the proportion of out- come attributable to treatment (14%) is depicted by the small circle nested within the larger circle at the lower right side of the left circle. The variance accounted for by client factors (86%), including unexplained and error variance, is represented by the large circle on the left. Even a casual inspec- tion reveals the disproportionate influence of what the client brings to therapy. More conservative estimates put the client’s contribution at 40% (Lambert, 2013). As examples, persistence, faith, a supportive grandmother, depression, membership in a religious community, divorce, a new job, a chance encounter with a stranger, and a crisis successfully managed all may be included. Although hard to research because of their idiosyncratic nature, these elements are the most powerful of the Figure 29.1  The Common Factors Client/Life factors (86%) (includes unexplained and error variance) Treatment effects 14% Feedback effects 21%–42% Alliance effects 36%–50% Model/Technique: Specific effects (model differences) 7% Model/Technique: General effects (rational and ritual), client expectancy (hope, placebo), and therapist allegiance 28–?% Therapist effects 36%–57% NOTE: There is some controversy surrounding how potent this effect is, hence the question mark.
  • 4. HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE460 home for the first time, overwhelmed by life, training day and night to keep his spot on the racing team, topped off by his falling in love for the first time. When the relation- ship ended, it was too much for Peter, and he was hospitalized, and then hospitalized again, and again, and so on until there was no more money or insurance—then the state hospitalizations ensued. Enjoying a level of conversation not achieved before, I asked Peter what it would take to get him going again on his bike. He said that his bike had a broken wheel, and he needed me to accompany him to the bike shop. Peter was afraid to go out in public alone for fear of threatening someone and ending up in the hospital. I immediately consulted with my supervisor, who gave me an enthusiastic green light. The next day, I went with Peter to the bike shop, where I bought a bike as well. Peter and I started having our sessions biking together. Peter still struggled with the voices at times, but he stayed out of the hospital, and they never kept him from biking. He eventually joined a bike club and moved into an unsupervised living arrangement. You can read a lot of books about “schizophrenia” and its treatment, but you’ll never find one that recommends biking as a cure. And you can read a lot of books about treatments in general, and you’ll never read a better idea about a client dilemma than will emerge from a unique client in relationship with you—a person who cares and wants to be helpful. Figure 29.1 also illustrates the second step in understanding the common factors. The second, larger circle in the center depicts the overlapping elements that form the 14% of variance attributable to therapy. Visually, the relationship among the common factors is more accurately represented with a Venn diagram, using overlapping circles and shad- ing to demonstrate mutual and interdepen- dent actions. controlled his thinking through a hole in his head. As a new intern, I was put under con- siderable pressure to address Peter’s less than endearing behaviors, particularly because he sometimes offended the stress management clients, who were seen as coveted treasures. Actually, Peter was a terrific guy with a very dry sense of humor, but a man of little hope who lived in dread of returning to the state hospital. His behaviors were mostly distrac- tion efforts from the tormenting voices that told him that people were trying to kill him. Peter’s unfortunate routine was that he was terrorized by these voices until he started taking action that would ultimately wind him up in the state hospital. He might empty his refrigerator for fear that someone had poisoned his food, creating a stench that would soon bring in the landlord and ulti- mately the authorities. Or, occasionally, he would start threatening or menacing oth- ers, those he believed were trying to kill him. Once hospitalized, his medications were changed, usually increased in dose, and he essentially slept out the crisis. These cycles occurred about every 4 to 6 months and had done so for the past 8 years. Peter’s “treat- ment” brought with it tardive dyskinesia and about 100 pounds of extra weight. I felt profoundly sad for this young man, who was about the same age as me. I also felt completely helpless. I knew he was ramping up for another admission—he had already emptied his refrigerator and left the contents on the kitchen floor. Only because I had no clue what to do, I asked Peter what he thought it would take to get a little relief from his situation—just a glimpse of a break from the torment of the voices and the revolving-door hospitaliza- tions. After a long pause, Peter said that it would help if he could start riding his bike again, and he told me about what his life was like before the bottom fell out. Peter had been a competitive cyclist in college. I heard the story of a young man away from
  • 5. The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 461 more positive findings (Beutler et al., 2004). For example, Kraus, Castonguay, Boswell, Nordberg, and Hayes (2011) found that therapist competencies can be domain spe- cific, as some therapists were better at treat- ing certain “conditions.” Specificity in the definition of experience may be important. My colleagues and I put this to the test in our examination of therapist effects in the study mentioned above (Owen et al., in press). This analysis revealed that, similar to other studies, demographics were not significant but specific experience in couple therapy explained 25% of the variance accounted for by therapists. So experienced therapists can take some solace that getting older does have its advantages—as long as it is specific to the task at hand. And the absolute certainty—the client’s view of the alliance is not only a robust predictor of therapy outcomes but also per- haps the best avenue to understand therapist differences. Marcus, Kashy, and Baldwin (2009) noted, High levels of consensus in client ratings of their therapist indicate that clients of the same therapist tend to agree about the traits or characteristics of their therapist, suggesting that there is something about the therapist’s manner or behavior that evokes similar response from all of his or her clients. (p. 538) Baldwin, Wampold, and Imel (2007) found only modest therapist variability (2%) compared with other studies, but they reported that therapist average alliance qual- ity accounted for 97% of that variability. Owen et al. (in press) found that therapist average alliance quality accounted for 50% of the variability in outcomes attributed to therapists. In general, research strongly sug- gests that clients seen by therapists with higher average alliance ratings have better outcomes (Crits-Christoph et al., 2009; Zuroff, Kelly, Leybman, Blatt, & Wampold, Therapist Effects Therapist effects represent the amount of variance attributable not to the model wielded but rather to who the therapist is— it’s no surprise that the participants in the therapeutic endeavor account for the lion’s share of how change occurs. Depending on whether therapist variability is investigated in efficacy or effectiveness studies, a recent meta-analysis suggested that 5% to 7% of the overall variance is accounted for by ther- apist effects (Baldwin & Imel, 2013).1 This is a conservative finding compared with ear- lier estimates that suggested that 8% to 9% of the variance is accounted for by therapist factors (Wampold, 2005), including a recent investigation by my colleagues and I (Owen, Duncan, Reese, Anker, & Sparks, in press), which found that 8% of the variability was accounted for by therapists. Therefore, in Figure 29.1, a 5% to 8% range is depicted, or 36% to 57% of the variance attributed to treatment. The amount of variance, there- fore, accounted for by therapist factors is about five to eight times more than that of model differences. Although we know that some therapists are better than others, there is not a lot of research about what specifically distin- guishes the best from the rest. Demographics (gender, ethnicity, discipline, and experi- ence) don’t seem to matter much (Beutler et al., 2004), and although a variety of thera- pist interpersonal variables seem intuitively important, there is not much empirical sup- port for any particular quality or attribute (Baldwin & Imel, 2013). So what does mat- ter? There’s a preliminary possibility and one absolute certainty. A possibility is experience, but not the generic kind that we were often told would make us better. A criticism often leveled at research investigating therapist experience is that it is not operationally defined and that a more sophisticated look may yield
  • 6. HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE462 predictive beyond early benefit suggests a more causal relationship. Based on the profound work of Carl Rogers (1957), the concepts of empathy, positive regard, and genuineness still repre- sent the best way to understand and facilitate the relational bond. Rogers (1980) defined empathy as the “therapist’s sensitive ability and willingness to understand the client’s thoughts, feelings and struggles from the cli- ent’s point of view” (p. 85). It is important to remember that perceived empathy is quite idiosyncratic; some experience empathy as an affective connection, some as a cognitive understanding, and others as a more nurtur- ing experience (Bachelor, 1988). So there is no single, invariably facilitative empathic response, but finding how clients experience empathy is well worth the effort. A recent meta-analysis of 57 studies looking at empa- thy and outcome (Elliott, Bohart, Watson, & Greenberg, 2011) found a significant rela- tionship, an r of .31. Similarly, another idea championed by Rogers, unconditional posi- tive regard, characterized as warm accep- tance of the client’s experience without conditions, a prizing, an affirmation, and a deep nonpossessive caring or love (Rogers, 1957), continues to demonstrate the centrality of the relationship to outcome. A recent meta-analysis of 18 studies exam- ining positive regard and outcome found a significant relationship, an r of .27 (Farber & Doolin, 2011). And finally, there’s con- gruence/genuineness, “that the therapist is mindfully genuine in the therapy relation- ship, underscoring present personal aware- ness, as well as genuineness or authenticity” (Kolden, Klein, Wang, & Austin, 2011, p. 65). Kolden et al. (2011) meta-analyzed 16 studies and found a significant relation- ship between congruence/genuineness and outcome, an r of .24. Lambert (2013) rightly notes that these relationship variable corre- lations are much higher than those of spe- cific treatments and outcome. A gas furnace 2010). These results suggest that enhancing alliance abilities may provide a clear path- way to better results (see Duncan, 2010). So the answer to the oft-heard question about why some therapists are better than others is that tried and true but taken-for-granted old friend, the therapeutic alliance. The Alliance Bordin (1979) defined the alliance with three interacting elements: (1) a relational bond, (2) agreement on the goals of ther- apy, and (3) agreement on the tasks of therapy. Historically, the amount of vari- ance attributed to the alliance has ranged from 5% to 7% of the overall variance or 36% to 50% of the variance accounted for by treatment (e.g., Horvath & Bedi, 2002) More recently, Horvath, Del Re, Flückiger, and Symonds (2011) examined 201 studies and found the correlation between the alli- ance and outcome to be r = .28, accounting for a slightly higher 7.5% of the variance. Putting this into perspective, the amount of change attributable to the alliance is about five to seven times that of a specific model or technique. Based on studies showing that early change accounted for most of the vari- ance attributed to the alliance, some have suggested that the relationship of the alli- ance to outcome could be a consequence of how much clients are benefiting from therapy (e.g., Barber, 2009). However, sev- eral recent studies have confirmed that there appears to be little evidence that control- ling for prior change substantially reduces or eliminates the alliance–outcome correla- tion (Crits-Christoph, Connolly Gibbons, & Mukherjee, 2013; Horvath et al., 2011). Similarly, my colleagues and I (Anker, Owen, Duncan, & Sparks, 2010) found that the alliance at the third session significantly predicted outcome over and above early reliable change. The fact that the alliance is
  • 7. The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 463 After setting up camp the first night, I felt inexplicably worried about Maria. This was before cell phones. So I hiked 4 miles back to my truck in the darkness and drove to a pay phone in a nearby town to see how she was getting along. She was okay. That call proved to be a turning point. Afterward, Maria became proactive in therapy and outside it. She started going to church, got involved in a singles group, and signed up for additional technical training that would allow her to change jobs. Her thoughts of suicide stopped, and she discon- tinued taking antidepressants. In sessions, at her direction, we talked less about how lousy she felt and more about how she could change her life. Over the next 6 months, she left her unrewarding job, where every- one knew her as a psychiatric casualty, and joined a medical missionary project in Asia. Six months later, she wrote to let me know that things were going pretty well for her in northern Thailand: I picture myself in your office, just telling you stuff and you listening. Every time I called you, you called me back. It didn’t always help, but you were there. And I real- ized that is just what a little girl would want from her daddy, what I had been missing all my life and wanting so badly. Finally, when I was 35 years old, someone gave it to me. I sure am glad I got to know what it feels like to have someone care about me in that way. It was a beautiful gift you gave me. You also made me realize how much God loves me. When you called me that weekend you went backpacking, I thought to myself, “If a human can do that for me, then I believe what the Bible says about us all the time.” So thanks for loving me—because that’s what you did. Maria taught me to honor the client’s view of the alliance—she knew that she needed a certain sort of contact to heal, and I gave it to her.That was not all I did, but it was explosion when Maria was 6 years old had killed both her father and sister. Her mother had collapsed emotionally after the accident and spent most of her days in bed. Maria had essentially grown up without a parent and, partly as a result, had been repeatedly sexually abused by an uncle. By the time I saw her, Maria was 35 and had been in ther- apy and taking antidepressants for most of her life. She held a responsible but unsatisfy- ing job in a biotechnology company. Maria had tried to kill herself five times, leading to five psychiatric stays. She called her latest therapist eight or nine times a day, leaving agonized messages with the answering ser- vice, demanding to be called back. Perhaps because of her borderline diagnosis, Maria’s demands were rarely, if ever, met by her therapist, which provoked Maria into esca- lating levels of distress and self-harming. She was headed toward another suicide attempt when her resentful and burned-out therapist referred her, with a sense of relief, to me and an investigation I was involved in called the “impossible”-case project (Duncan, Hubble, & Miller, 1997). After consultation with my colleagues, I decided to encourage Maria’s calls and nurture rather than limit our relationship. I worked hard to court Maria’s favor during our first three sessions, and it wasn’t easy. She sat in my office tight-lipped, twisting a handkerchief in her hands. She told me from the first that she wanted her phone calls returned, because she only called when she was in really bad shape. I returned her calls when I had spare time during the workday and again in the evenings after my last client, talking each time for about 15 minutes. Perhaps because I reliably called her back, she rarely called more than once or twice a day. In our sessions, she seemed to get softer. Then, after our sixth session, I went on a backpacking trip with my son Jesse, entrusting my colleagues to cover for me.
  • 8. HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE464 only as effective as its delivery system—the client–therapist relationship. So you can’t have a good alliance without some agree- ment about how therapy is going to address the issues at hand. Tryon and Winograd (2011) conducted two meta-analyses related to the agreement on tasks—goal consensus (which included agreement on tasks) and collaboration—and their relationship to out- come. Looking at 15 studies, they found a goal consensus–outcome d of .34, indicating that better outcomes can be expected when client and therapist agree on goals and the processes to achieve them. Based on 19 stud- ies, the collaboration–outcome meta-analysis found a d of .33, suggesting that outcome is likely enhanced when client and therapist are in a cooperative relationship. So your client’s perception of any of the big three relational variables as well as agreement about goals and the methods to attain them are individu- ally more powerful than any technique you can ever wield.. Perhaps the most important part of this collaboration is whether the favored expla- nation and ritual of the therapist fits client preferences. Swift, Callahan, and Vollmer (2011) conducted a meta-analysis of 35 studies of client preference, breaking client preferences into three areas: role, therapist, and treatment preferences. They found that clients who received their preferred condi- tions were less likely to drop out and that the overall effect size for client preference was d = .31. So it makes sense to ensure that whatever explanation and ritual is chosen is a framework that both the therapist and the client can get behind. Your alliance skills are truly at play here: your interpersonal ability to explore the cli- ent’s ideas, discuss options, collaboratively form a plan, and negotiate any changes when benefit to the client is not forthcoming. Traditionally, the search has been for inter- ventions that promote change by validating the affectionate container for our conver- sations, which included discussions of what she wanted to change and how she could make it happen. Maria also taught me the power found in simple acts of human caring, in empathy and positive regard. Of course, I had no idea of the connection of my actions to her desire for a loving father; it never occurred to me, perhaps because we were close in age. Within the limits of what I can ethically and personally manage, I have learned to provide as much human caring and nonpossessive love as possible. The more cognitive aspects of the alliance are the agreements with the client about the goals and tasks of therapy. When we ask clients what they want to be different, we give credibility to their beliefs and val- ues regarding the problem and its solution. Collaborative goal formation begins the process of change, wherever the client may ultimately travel. Tasks include specific tech- niques or points of view, topics of conversa- tion, interview procedures, the frequency of meetings, and all the nuts and bolts aspects of doing the work, including scheduling, cancellation, payment, and between-session contacts. These are all aspects of the task dimension and can count for or against us in the alliance. In our follow-up study of the Norway Feedback Project, we found that the highest category of complaints was the everyday aspects of providing service (Anker, Sparks, Duncan, Owen, & Stapnes, 2011). Asking for help to set the tasks of therapy further demonstrates respect for client capa- bilities, and sets the stage for further efforts to enlist participation. This is probably our biggest alliance blind spot. In an important way, the alliance depends on the delivery of some particular treatment or technique—a framework for understanding and solving the problem (Hatcher & Barends, 2006). There can be no alliance without a treat- ment, and on the other hand, technique is
  • 9. The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 465 It’s hard work. We often think that “therapeutic work” only applies to clients; it actually applies to us too. We have to earn this thing called the alliance. We have to put ourselves out there with each and every per- son, each and every interaction, and each and every session. It is a daunting task to be sure, but one whose importance and dif- ficulty are perpetually minimized. It gets so little press compared with models and tech- niques and is often relegated to statements like “First gain rapport and then . . . ” or “Form a relationship and then . . . ”—as if it is something we effortlessly do before the real intervention starts. The alliance is not the anesthesia to surgery. We don’t offer Rogerian reflections to lull clients into com- placency so we can stick the real interven- tion to them! Intervention is not therapy. When Lisbeth was introduced to me in the waiting room, she told me to go f . . . k myself. I was doing a consult because this 16-year-old was refusing to go to school and had assaulted five foster parents. Lisbeth was one angry adolescent, and my initial thought was “Wouldn’t it be sweet if she told me what she was angry about,” because I knew there had to be a good reason. In the opening moments, I asked Lisbeth what she thought would be most useful for us to talk about and she said, “What I think of you is that you are a condescending bastard with no understanding of your clients whatsoever!” Whew, she knew how to hit where it hurt! But slowly, and surely, I listened, and I didn’t react to her as others had likely responded. I maintained my conviction that if I under- stood her story, everything—especially her anger—would make complete sense. For example, she told me how she refused medi- cation in one of her many hospitalizations and had threatened to break the kneecaps of the psychiatrist who attempted to force her to take meds. This likely stimulated replies about the inappropriateness of her violent the therapist’s favored theory. Serving the alliance requires taking a different angle: the search for ideas that promote change by validating the client’s view of what is helpful—the client’s theory of change (Duncan & Moynihan, 1994). The appli- cation of any agreed-on explanation or technique represents the alliance in action. Perhaps some idiosyncratic blend of client ideas, yours, and theoretical/technical ones might ultimately be just the ticket. The lit- mus test of any chosen rationale or ritual is whether or not it engages the client in pur- posive work and makes a difference. THE ALLIANCE: ONE LAST WORD We all have clients who rapidly respond to us, to whom we connect quickly. But what about the folks who are mandated by the courts or protective services or who just plain don’t want to be there (like almost all kids)? What about people who have never been in a good relationship or have been abused or traumatized? What about folks that life just never seems to give a break or those who have lost hope? Well, the thera- pist’s job, our job, is exactly the same regardless. If we want anything good to happen, it all rests on a strong alliance—we have to engage the client in purposeful work. The research about what differenti- ates one therapist from another as well as my personal experience suggest that the ability to form alliances with people who are not easy to form alliances with—to engage people who don’t want to be engaged—separates the best from the rest. For example, Anderson, Ogles, Patterson, Lambert, and Vermeersch (2009) found a significant relationship between how thera- pists responded to challenging clients on a performance test of interpersonal skills and their outcomes in actual practice.
  • 10. HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE466 MODEL/TECHNIQUE: GENERAL EFFECTS (EXPLANATION AND RITUAL), CLIENT EXPECTANCY (HOPE, PLACEBO), AND THERAPIST ALLEGIANCE Ensuring that any selected treatment reso- nates with both the client (expectancy) and the therapist (allegiance) also complements the so-called placebo factors, or the general effects of delivering any model or technique. Model/technique factors are the beliefs and procedures unique to any given treatment. But these specific effects, the impact of the differences among treatments, are very small—only about 1% of the overall vari- ance or 7% of that attributable to treatment. But the general effects of providing a treat- ment are far more potent. When a placebo or technically “inert” condition is offered in a manner that fosters positive expectations for improvement, it reliably produces effects almost as large as a bona fide treatment (Baskin, Tierney, Minami, & Wampold, 2003). (There is some controversy surround- ing how potent this effect is, hence the ques- tion mark in Figure 29.1.) Models achieve their effects in large part, if not completely, through the activation of placebo, hope, and expectancy, combined with the therapist’s belief in (allegiance to) the treatment admin- istered. As long as a treatment makes sense to, is accepted by, and fosters the active engagement of the client, the particular approach used is unimportant. Placebo fac- tors are also fueled by a therapist belief that change occurs naturally and almost univer- sally—the human organism, shaped by mil- lennia of evolution and survival, tends to heal and to find a way, even out of the heart of darkness (Sparks & Duncan, 2010). Feedback Effects Common-factors research provides gen- eral guidance for enhancing those elements tendencies, ad nauseam. I simply said that she didn’t want to kill the psychiatrist, after all, but only wanted to permanently impair her, a significant difference. And I got a slight smile, and a bit more conversation. Lisbeth told me that she had been removed from her home at age 13 because of multiple sexual abuses by her mother’s boy- friends, and since then, she had been in five foster care homes; the fifth foster care par- ent was Sophie, who sat before me now. She also told me that the previous 18 months of therapy had not addressed her goal of telling her mother off, once and for all. In fact, no attempt was made to allow any approxima- tion of this to happen. After a while of allowing her story to wash over me, I ventured a comment that Lisbeth was like a salty old sailor, she cursed like a sailor and had a storied life— she was crusty at the ripe old age of 16. She smiled in a way that acknowledged that I both understood and appreciated her. Lisbeth rewarded me with an explana- tion of her anger. She told me how she was relieved to be removed from her home and that her first foster care parent expressed her intention to adopt both Lisbeth and her 5-year-old sister. But instead, her sister was adopted, and Lisbeth was dumped. That’s when the assaults started and the complete dismissal of school. So the first adult that she trusted, after having none in her life worthy of her trust, betrayed her totally and completely. There is no more righteous anger than this kid felt. I said that, and we connected. And Lisbeth, via work with others who finally addressed her goal for therapy, completed her GED (General Educational Development) online and settled in with her foster parents. The relationship is not always easy, and it demands a lot from us, but it is almost always not only worth the effort but also why we became therapists—at least, why I became a therapist.
  • 11. The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 467 improvement, fits client preferences, maxi- mizes therapist–client alliance potential and client participation, and is itself a core feature of therapeutic change. Feedback embodies the lessons I learned from Tina, providing for a transparent interpersonal process that solicits the client’s help in ensuring a positive outcome. MY JOURNEY TO RELATIONSHIP: CLOSING THOUGHTS Listening creates a holy silence.When you listen generously to people, they can hear the truth in themselves, often for the first time. And when you listen deeply, you can know yourself in everyone. Rachel Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom I was recently asked (Kottler & Carlson, 2014) what it is that I do, and who I am, that most made my work effective (assuming that it is). What I do that is most important in contributing to my effectiveness is that I rou- tinely measure outcome and the alliance (via PCOMS). This allows me to deal directly and transparently with clients, involving them in all decisions that affect their care and keeping their perspectives the centerpiece of everything I do. In addition, it serves as an early-warning device that identifies clients who are not ben- efiting, so that the client and I can chart a dif- ferent course, which in turn encourages me to step outside my therapeutic business-as-usual, do things I’ve never done before, and there- fore continue to grow as a therapist. This also allows me to focus every session with every client on the alliance, so that I tailor what I do to the client’s expectations. Finally, tracking outcome and the alliance also enables proac- tive efforts to improve, without guesswork or waiting for the platitudes about experience to manifest. It enables our clients—especially shown to be most influential to positive outcomes. The specifics, however, can only be derived from the client’s response to what we deliver—the client’s feed- back regarding progress in therapy and the quality of the alliance. Although it sounds like hyperbole, identifying clients who are not benefiting is the single most important thing a therapist can do to improve outcomes. Combining Lambert’s Outcome Questionnaire System (Lambert & Shimokawa, 2011) and our Partners for Change Outcome Manage­ment System (PCOMS) (e.g., Anker, Duncan, & Sparks, 2009; Reese, Norsworthy, & Rowlands, 2009), nine RCTs now support this asser- tion. A recent meta-analysis of PCOMS studies (Lambert & Shimokawa, 2011) found that those in the feedback group had 3.5 higher odds of experiencing reli- able change and less than half the odds of experiencing deterioration. In addition, collecting outcome and alliance feedback from clients allows the systematic tracking of therapist development, so that neither client benefit nor therapist growth over time is left to wishful thinking. Visit https:// heartandsoulofchange.com/ for more infor­ mation (The measures are free for individ- ual use and are available in 23 languages.). PCOMS is listed by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration as an evidence-based practice. It is different from what is usually considered evidence based because feedback is atheoretical and therefore additive to any therapeutic ori- entation and applies to clients of all diag- nostic categories (Duncan, 2012). An inspection of Figure 29.1 shows that feedback overlaps and affects all the fac- tors—it is the tie that binds them together— allowing the other common factors to be delivered one client at a time. Soliciting systematic feedback is a living, ongoing pro- cess that engages clients in the collaborative monitoring of outcome, heightens hope for
  • 12. HUMANISTIC APPLICATIONS TO PRACTICE468 Although much psychopathological gob- bledygook accompanied her, it was safe to say that Rosa was a “difficult” child—prone to tantrums, which included kicking, bit- ing, and throwing anything she could find. I began the session by asking Rosa if she was going to help me today, and she immediately yelled, “No!”—leaning back, with her arms folded across her chest. As I turned to speak with Enrique and Margarita, Rosa began having a tantrum in earnest—screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing around, kicking me in the process. With Rosa’s tantrum escalating, Margarita dropped a bombshell. In a disarmingly quiet voice, she announced that she didn’t think she could continue foster-parenting Rosa. The tension in the room immediately escalated; the only sound was Rosa’s yelling, which had become more or less rote at that point. I felt as if I’d been kicked in the gut. I’d expected to be helping the foster parents contain and nurture a tough child. Now it felt like I was participating in a tragedy in the making. Here was a couple trying their best to do the right thing by taking in a troubled kid with nowhere else to go, but they seemed ready to give up. The situation was obviously wrench- ing for Margarita and Enrique, but it was potentially catastrophic for Rosa. In this rural setting, they were her last hope, not only of living with family but of living nearby at all, since the closest foster care placement was at least 100 miles away. I contemplated Rosa’s life unfolding in foster care with strangers, who’d encounter the same difficulties and likely come to the same impasse—resulting in a nightmare of ongoing home placements. What’sthecorrectdiagnosisforMargarita? Is there an EBT for feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and not knowing whether you can go on parenting a tough kid? Margarita continued explaining why she couldn’t go on, speaking softly while tears rolled down her cheeks. Not only did she feel she couldn’t handle Rosa, she also those who aren’t responding well to our ther- apeutic business-as-usual—to teach us how to work better. That’s what I do. But what I bring to the therapeutic endeavor is that I am a true believer. I believe in the client, I believe in the power of relationship and psychotherapy as a vehicle for change, and I believe in myself, my ability to be present, fully immersed in the client and dedicated to making a differ- ence. The odds for change when you com- bine a resourceful client, a strong alliance, and an authentic therapist who brings him- self or herself to the show are worth betting on, certainly a cause for hope, and respon- sible for my unswerving faith in psychother- apy as a healing endeavor. I believe in psychotherapy, not in spite of its inherent uncertainty but because of it. Although we long for the structured,scripted, predictable, manualized, surefire way to con- duct a session, uncertainty is endemic to the work as it is to life, and therefore is impor- tant to embrace. Uncertainty is the place of unlimited possibilities for change. It is this indeterminacy that gives therapy its texture and infuses it with the excitement of discov- ery. This allows for the “heretofore unsaid,” the “aha moments,” and all the spontane- ous ideas, connections, conclusions, plans, insights, resolves, and new identities that emerge when you put two people together in a room and call it psychotherapy. Tolerance for uncertainty creates the space for new directions and insights to occur to both the client and you. Seven-year-old Rosa had gone to live with foster parents—her aunt and uncle, Margarita and Enrique—because the paren- tal rights of her birth parents had been termi- nated. Her father and mother were addicts with long criminal records; the father was in jail, and the mother was still using. Rosa clearly had been born with two strikes against her: (1) parents missing in action and (2) her development impaired by drugs.
  • 13. The Person of the Therapist: One Therapist’s Journey to Relationship 469 born of hopelessness, had lost its strangle- hold, though nothing had been said explic- itly about that. Now all smiles and bubbly, Rosa was bouncing up and down in her chair. Somewhat out of the blue, Margarita announced that she was going to stick with Rosa. “Great,” I said quietly. Then, as the full meaning of what she’d said washed over me, I repeated it a bit louder, and then a third time with enthusiasm—“Great!” I asked Margarita if anything in particu- lar had helped her come to this decision. She answered that, although she’d always known it, she’d realized in our session even more than before that there was a wonder- ful, loving child inside Rosa and that she, Margarita, just had to be patient and take things one day at a time. The session had helped her really see the attachment that was already there. I felt the joy of that moment then, and I still do. Follow-up revealed that this family stayed together. Margarita never again lost her resolve to stick with Rosa. In addition, many of Rosa’s more troubling behaviors fell away, perhaps as a result of having stability in her life for the first time. In my view, the session included that inti- mate space in which we connect with people and their pain in a way that somehow opens the path from what is to what can be. My heartfelt appreciation of both the despair of the circumstance and their sincere desire to help this child, combined with the fortuitous “attachment” experience, generated new resolve for Margarita and Enrique. This ses- sion taught me, once again, that anything is possible—that even the bleakest sessions can have a positive outcome if you stay with the process. Just when things seemed the most hopeless, when both the family and I were surely down for the count and needed only to accept the inevitable, something mean- ingful and positive emerged that changed everything—including me. This is the power of relationship and why my psychotherapy journey continues on course. worried about the child’s attachment to her. As Margarita expressed her doubts in a near whisper, Enrique’s eyes began to tear up, and a feeling of despair permeated the room. At that moment, I felt helpless to prevent a terri- ble ending to an already bad story and didn’t have a clue about what to do. Meanwhile, Margarita began gently caressing Rosa’s head and speaking softly to her—the Spanish equivalent of “There, there, little one”— until the little girl started to calm down. With her tantrum at an end, Rosa turned to face Margarita, and then she reached up and wiped the tears from her aunt’s face. “Don’t cry, Auntie,” she said warmly, “don’t cry.” Witnessing these actions was yet another reminder to me of how new possibilities can emergeatanymomentinaseeminglyhopeless session and the uncertainty of what will hap- pen next. “It’s tough to parent a child who’s been through as much as Rosa has,” I said.“I respect your need to really think through the long-term consequences here. But I’m also impressed with how gently you handled Rosa when she was so upset and with how you, Rosa, comforted your Auntie when you saw her crying. Clearly there’s something special about the connection between you two.” Margarita replied that Rosa definitely had a “sweet side.”When she saw that she’d upset either Margarita or Enrique, she quickly became soft, responsive, and tender. I began to talk with Margarita and Enrique about what seemed to work with Rosa and what didn’t. While Rosa snuggled up to Margarita, we talked about how to bring out Rosa’s sweet side more often. As ideas emerged, I was in awe, as I often am, of the fortitude cli- ents show when facing formidable challenges. Here was a couple in their late 40s, who’d already raised their own two children, con- sidering taking on the responsibility of raising another one who had such a difficult history. By now, the tension and despair present a few moments before had evaporated. The decision to discontinue foster parenting,
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