The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents. http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT

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The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents
http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT
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Parental Alienation; the programming of a child by a parent to turn the child against the other
parent has three levels of alienation mild, moderate, and severe. As the alienation increases the
negative behavior of the children towards the targeted parent also increases. The percentage of
children having access and parenting time (visitation) with the alienated parent decreases.
In a case study of thirty highly conflicted divorce and custody cases, submitted by the courts
involving fifty nine children was evaluated to determine the existence of Parental Alienation
Syndrome. This is when the child aligns with the alienating parent, adopts their views, joins in the
defaming of the target parent and rejects that parent citing frivolous and irrational reasoning.
Countering Parental Alienation Syndrome will take the knowledge of Parental Alienation and
finesse.
This must be confronted to increase the chances for the target parent in reuniting and maintaining
a meaningful relationship with their children. Janelle Burrill compiled, analyzed and evaluated the
data for one year (2000-2001) from the cases that were submitted from a two year period (1998-
2000). In the study twenty two children were listed under the mild alienation category, seventeen
in the moderate category, and twenty in the severe.
The children listed under the mild alienation category show that eighty two percent of them
expressed affection for the targeted parent. None of them had any anger towards or denigrated
(disrespect and reject) the parent. Ninety five percent had parenting-time with the target. With mild
alienation there is some cynicism of the target parent. This generally arises from a persons lack of
restraint in making negative remarks about the target. They tend to react in this manner when they
are hurt, angry, and feel personally attacked. For example, when parents first separate mom is
feeling anxious and will implicitly convey to the children that their father is a bad person suggesting
that it is not safe to be with him. She may say something to the effect of, "If you get scared or are
not having fun call me right away and I will come and get you and bring you home."
Dad may say something like, "Remember to tell your mother that you want to spend more time
with me," Suggesting that their mom is trying to separate them from each other. Generally, this
behavior from the parents is done so they can look like they are the better parent to be with and
that something is wrong with the other one.
In the scenario with mom the children start to question if they are safe to be with their father. With
dad they can start to believe their mother is trying to estrange them from their dad. Usually when
you point out the alienation to the alienating parent they feel ashamed that their behavior is
negatively affecting the children and that they did not have enough self-control to refrain from
distributing alienation.

2. Parents and children in this category normally have a good relationship. The parents who hands
out the alienation usually are unaware they are doing it. It is a behavior that has not been
addressed so it can be corrected. These parents are usually willing to modify their behavior to
benefit the children. The recognizable denigration traits in mild alienation are sighing in
disapproval, rolling the eyes in contempt, ignoring, disrespect, snide or sarcastic remarks, and
defaming the target parent. To defuse the alienation explain to the children why people will make
those kinds of gestures and bad-mouth another person. Let them know it comes from when they
feel disrespected, rejected, hurt by a person, and that they lack self-control and respond in
undesirable ways to validate themselves.
In the moderate alienation category the percentage of children who had parenting-time with the
target parent drops significantly from ninety five percent down to sixty five percent. The same
percentage of children also expressed affection for the target parent with fifty nine percent of them
expressing anger towards the target and joining in the denigration of that parent.
With moderate alienation the alienating parents have difficulty keeping their composer when thing
do not go their way or feel threatened. Like the belief their counterpart is trying to take the children
away from them. They will increase the alienation when their anxiety escalates in an effort to keep
what they perceive is rightfully theirs. When they lose control they go ballistic disregarding
appropriate boundaries, including the fear their behavior produces in the children.
When, they calm down the alienating parent has a hard time taking responsibility for their actions.
But, there is hope. Some of these parents in this category can be persuaded to develop their self-
control with anger management, therapy, and parenting classes. These parents love their children
and want to be a good parent and be viewed as one. But rarely will they volunteer to get help.
They blame the other parent for their problems and believe the other parent is the problem.
If they do not modify their behavior then the only remedy is to get a court order for therapy and
treatment. With moderately alienated children are hesitant to spend time with the target parent.
They have some fear of the target parent due to the alienating parents repeatedly defaming the
target in an effort to get the children to get to accept their views about the target parent and to
align with them.
To remedy this level of alienation with the children there needs to be an environment where they
feel safe and comfortable with the target parent. A therapist can arrange to provide for this. The
parent then need to listen to the children without being judgmental, empathize with their feeling,
acknowledge their concerns, and let them know the conflict is between the parents and they do
not have to choose either parents side. They should not have to reject one parent to please the
other parent. They should be able to love both without having a loyalty conflict.
Bring to the attention of the alienating parent the harmful effects the alienation is having on the
children because they are conflicted on how to please both parents without displeasing either one
of them. Moderate alienation ascends from emotional charged events. The parent feels they have
been wronged and react destructively. Afterwards they are embarrassed of their behavior and
might be willing to work on not involving the children to even the score for the wrong they believe
was done to them. If there is unsatisfactory improvement and willingness on the part of the
alienating parent in correcting their behavior, which is often the case, the target will need to get a
court order for family counseling and treatment.

3. In the severe alienation category forty five percent of the children expressed affection for the target
parent, ninety percent had anger towards the target, and sixty percent join in the denigration of the
parent. Only fifteen percent of the children had any parenting-time with the target parent. With
severe alienation there are no-holds-barred attacks on the targets character and the alienator is
obsessed with destroying the relationship the children has with the target parent to inflict emotional
pain on the target. Because they have deep-rooted distorted beliefs about the target parent and
operate from a delusional system of thinking they are hindered from listening to reason.
There is no effective way for treating severe alienation. To minimize the influence of the alienating
parent and harm the alienation causes the children is to reduce or remove them from the care of
the alienating parent which will take legal intervention. At this level of alienation the children aligns
with the alienating parent, adopt their distorted views about the target, and join in the campaign to
severe the relationship they have with the target parent. This is where Parental Alienation is
transformed into Parental Alienation Syndrome.
A couple of signs of severe alienation are the childrens refusal to participate in parenting-time with
the target parent even if it is court order, an automatic alliance with the alienating parent when
conflict arises between the parents, and they join in rejecting and defaming the target parent. They
back up their claims with weak, frivolous and illogical explanations, and insist that their views are
their own and are not influenced by the alienating parent.
The way to counter severe alienation is to obtain a court order for a parenting plan, therapy, and
participation in treatment. It is necessary to get the order so the therapist can work with the family
to resolve, reduce, or at the very least stymie the alienation. At this level of alienation the
alienating parent objective is to hurt the target parent by any means including using the children.
The children need to be shown that they have been exposed to the alienation, participated in the
denigration, and how it negatively affects the relationship they have with the target parent. Once
the cause of the children's alienation from a parent is identified then an expert mental health
professional can provide an appropriate treatment plan to reunite the parent and children.
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The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents
http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT
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