2. Showing a degree of Respect
Inspires Productive Atmosphere
Handling conflict Situation
Listening with intent to understand.
Asking insightful questions.
Being motivating and inspiring.
3. We would like you to make this distinction
between two kinds of listening:
1. Listening with intent to understand
2. Listening with an intent to reply
4. Most people don’t really listen:
when they are “listening “they are, really just waiting their
turn to speak. They are not absorbing the others message:
they are mentally preparing their response.
Good people skills mean that you listen with intent to
understand.
That means listening and NOT interrupting, not drifting
off, but paying full attention to the others message.
Good listening has three major benefits
1. You learn more about the other persons wants, desires
and fears
2. You show respect to the other
3. You can’t say the wrong thing, if you are listening
“Listen more often, with intent to understand.”
5. Listening will not be enough on its own.
Good listening will inspire questions about
what the other person has said.
In order to understand you must become a
good questioner.
Questions can be used in two main ways:
1. As a means of gathering more information.
2. As a means of gentle persuasion.
6. As a means of gathering more information, use this phrase
“When you say, BLANK, what specifically do you mean?
As a means of persuasion you might ask questions in the form of:
“I understand what you mean, but what would you see as the possible
long range problems associated with doing that?”
To persuade and to gather more information, develop your questioning
skills.
7. Nobody likes a grump.
Nobody wants to work with a person who is
pessimistic, cynical and down.
Good people skills involves resisting the
temptation to submit to the bad news.
Good people skills includes keeping the mood
strong in spite of the gloom.
8. In essence, being a positive motivator boils down
to just one thing:
That means being able to
“Talk convincingly about WHY the future WILL BE better than the
present.”
If you learn to come up with a convincing reason to support the idea
that the future will be better than the present, then, to that degree
you will inspire confidence in others.
To the degree to which you cannot do that, is the degree to which
you will fail to inspire confidence.
“Train yourself to talk convincingly about WHY the future will be
better than the present.”
9. Handling conflict situations is a delicate and important
people management skill to master.
This skill resolves down to three basic abilities:
1. The ability to criticize the others behavior (claiming
bad behavior) without criticizing and attacking the
character of the person ( NOT claiming he is of bad
character)
2. The ability to suggest ways out of the conflict that
is both possible and acceptable to the other
3. The ability to control your language, when you are
in a bad mood (not to say too much!)
“By applying the three laws stated above, train
yourself to give constructive criticism.”
10. Trust is the basis of our economy
If you don’t trust the other, then you cannot do business
with him- her.
Demonstration of trust is therefore a major compliment.
Demonstration of a lack of trust is a major de-motivator
and an insult.
Good people skills involves trusting others to the
maximum that is justifiable given two things:
1. Their track record
2. The value of the task being entrusted
The people management skill is to give as much trust as
you can to others.
(Allowing you to delegate lower value work and get on with
higher value work).
“As much as is justifiable, trust others”
11. This is the sum total of all the other five skills.
If you can do all the other five, then you can
and will inspire a productive effort from those
around you.
“ Work harder on changing yourself, than you do
trying to change others”.
12. 1: Listen more often, with intent to understand.
2: To persuade and to gather more information, develop
your questioning skills.
3: Train yourself to talk convincingly about WHY the future
will be better than the present.
4: By applying the three laws stated above, train yourself to
give constructive criticism.
5: As much as is justifiable, trust others.
6: Work harder on changing yourself, than you do trying to
change others.
