1. A Letter from our LeAder
GLAko (GreetinGs) feLLow mArtiAns! this bookLet is
pArt of your ‘Guide to pLAnet eArth’. it must be
reAd by ALL of the ‘invAsion force’ teAm. fAiLure
to reAd the Guide couLd spoiL our invAsion.
fAiLure to reAd ALL of the 2,600 bookLets wiLL
resuLt in beinG ZApped (which stinGs A Lot!). you
hAve been wArned!!
this informAtion wiLL enAbLe you to set up A
poLiticAL pArty of your own And tAke controL of
the entire eArth. country by country!!
vALkoi (hoorAy) for mArs!!
siGned in bLood
kruG 4
LeAder of mArs

2. As it sAid in this is whAt it Looks Like
our LeAder’s from mArs!
Letter,
northern
ireLAnd is
where we’LL
stArt our
invAsion!
it’s
just A
tiny
spec!
no! thAt’s eArth. 1,763,468 1/2 eArthLinGs
now if we mAGnify it Live there! there Are 2
Another 46,000,000 bAsic sorts...
times we cAn see
the northern pArt just two!
of the isLAnd we’LL
AttAck!
weird!
it’s the shApe of A
mArtiAn nApsop!*
*fried eGG
...men!... ...And if we’re to disGuise
women! ourseLves As eArthLinGs
we’LL need to weAr body
suits! wAtch this mAke-over
by GAk won!
weird!
*hA! hA! hA!
this is Zimos weLL mArtiAn friend. this body
who wiLL Love suit is GoinG to Look sooo Good
his new eArth on you!
hi mArtiAn bod!
friends!
weLcome
to ‘how to
Look Good
As An
eArthLinG’!
2

3. now A LittLe bit of fLesh
coLoured pAint...
perfect!
...some deLish ...now, the biG Question so you see, we cAn disGuise
cLothes, wiG... - do you Look Good As our invAsion force As puny
An eArthLinG? eArthLinGs?
no!
seems Like A Lot
of troubLe. why not
just invAde And
crush the puny
eArthLinGs?
it’s better to tAke to fit into their we oriGinALLy
controL from within Government beLieved thAt
their Governments. we’LL need to eArthLinGs
we cAn mAke LAws know how the were
thAt fAvour us! whoLe thinG divided into
vioLence never works And win constituencies
works! remember eLections! for eLections!
pLAnet ZiG 3?
yeh! 425 yeArs
of wAr!
i feeL
sick!
but thAt wAs there Are 18 of them And eAch
wronG! it’s their East
eLects 6 eArthLinGs to speAk
LAnd which is 1. Belfast North Foyle
Londondonderry North
Antrim
on their behALf!
divided into
2. Belfast East East
3. Belfast South Londondonderry
1. Belfast North North
constituencies!
4. Belfast West Foyle Antrim
2. Belfast East
East 3. Belfast South
Antrim 4. Belfast West
West South East
Tyrone Mid Ulster
Antrim Antrim
North Down West
Mid Ulster South
1 Tyrone Antrim
4 2 North Down
3
1
Lagan 4 2
Upper Strangford
Valley 3
Bann Lagan
Fermanagh & Upper Strangford
Soth Tyrone Valley
Bann
Fermanagh &
Newry & Soth Tyrone
why don’t
Armagh
South Newry &
Armagh
Down
they use South
Down
‘the GiAnt
mouth
And eAr?’
3

4. fAct fiLe no. 18076. ‘the GiAnt it seems the
mouth And eAr’ is A compLex bAckwArd
device which ALLows every eArthLinGs don’t
mArtiAn to hAve their sAy hAve A ‘GiAnt mouth
which is heArd by A meGA And eAr’ or A
computer which runs the meGA computer
pLAnet! to run their
country!
everyone even i
knows knew
thAt! thAt!
*hA! hA! hA! hA!
...And do
so does thAt meAn the eLected
the eArthLinGs who Get eArthLinGs
eLected hAve to run hAve to
the country? Listen to the
eArthLinGs who
yes! eLected them?
yes!
*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! *hA! hA! hA! hA! etc
the eLected eArthLinGs here
Are known As mLAs Are the 18 COnStitUenCieS POPUlatiOn =
which stAnds for numbers!
member of the X 6 Mlas 1,763,086 divided
LeGisLAtive AssembLy.
108 tOtal Mlas.
by 108 Mlas =
how mAny of
them Are 16,324.875
there? so how mAny
eArthLinGs
does eAch mLA
represent? simpLe -
divide the
popuLAtion
by 108
mLAs.
our ‘brAins teAm’ it seems thAt the
hAs decided thAt best wAy to become
since the mLAs Are An mLA is to be pArt
the eArthLinGs who of A poLiticAL pArty.
mAke LAws And decide our ‘brAins teAm’
how the country thouGht thAt wAs
is run... some sort of event
with dAncinG And GLuG,
...then but thAt wAs wronG!!
we need
to be
mLAs! Aw!
exActLy!
4

5. on eArth A poLiticAL AGes AGo on mArs, before ...And the Zippy pArty
pArty is A Group ‘the GiAnt mouth & eAr’, who beLieved we shouLd
of eArthLinGs who there were 2 pArties. the onLy work for 4 hours.
ALL beLieve in the GLum pArty who beLieved thAt’s why no mArtiAns
sAme thinGs! mArtiAns shouLd voted for the GLum
work for pArty!
27 hours
of our
28
hour
dAy...
whAt’s
votinG?
*hA! hA!
thAt’s how eArthLinGs votinG hAppens
eLect other eArthLinGs. At A poLLinG
they vote for them! stAtion And
the votes
so it’s Are mAde
Like me in secret
sAyinG ‘i so no other
choose eArthLinG
you to knows who
represent voted for who!
me’. Look!
*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!
our poLiticAL pArty needs to we need to hAve poLicies* which wiLL
be popuLAr if it’s to Get Lots CREATE be popuLAr with the mAjority of
of votes! YOUR OWN eArthLinGs!
PARTY.
how on so we’re GoinG to
mArs wiLL teLL the stupid
we do eArthLinGs thinGs
thAt?
GIVE IT thAt’LL mAke them
A NAME. Like our pArty
And vote for us!
*poLicy - A List of ideAs
exActLy! the ‘brAins
teAm’ hAve
mAde A List
of thinGs OUR PaRty believeS eveRy eaRthling
which the ShOUld have
eArthLinGs
wiLL Love! • ShORteR wORking hOURS
• lOngeR hOlidayS
• MORe PaPeR StUff (MOney)
• a fRee hOUSe
• a fRee nOn hOveR CaR
there! thAt
shouLd mAke them
vote for us! Arf!
*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! 5

6. just think, those mLAs - And our *mif pArty wAnt
stupid eArthLinGs wiLL (members QUiCk to mAke LAws which’LL
vote for members of the QUiZ mAke the eArthLinGs
of our pArty And LeGisLAtive hAppy???!
we’LL hAve Lots AssembLy)
of mLAs! Are the puny hOw Many
eArthLinGs MlaS
umm! remind with the
me why we power to aRe theRe? thAt’s
wAnt to be mAke LAws! whAt we
mLAs! a) 90 wAnt
them to
b) 180 think!
C) 3½
d) 108
e) 900,000
*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! *mif - mArtiAn invAsion force
(whisper!) shush! we’re onLy Green skinned
GoinG to mAke the beinGs wouLd be QUiZ (nOt QUiCk)
‘Green skin LAw’!! ALLowed to hAve
houses, money, etc HOW WOULD YOU GET PEOPLE TO VOTE
And everyone eLse
whisper! wiLL hAve to be their FOR YOU? WRITE DOWN THREE THINGS
whAt’s sLAves!
thAt?
*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!
the probLem is thAt mAkinG weLL thAt’s where our
LAws is reALLy hArd! A new LAw mLAs Get busy! Look
hAs to be suGGested As A biLL! we bouGht A book on
we were toLd thAt ‘biLL’ wAs An AmAZeon. it shows us
eArthLinGs nAme. the mArtiAn whAt An mLA does!
who Got thAt wronG hAs
just been teLeported to
‘the dreAded pLAnet’. korks!
so how on mArs
do we Get A biLL
proposed?
“Let us stArt on fridAy. And i think we need
thAt’s the dAy i meet my to stop peopLe smokinG
hAppy constituents. they in pubLic pLAces coZ
teLL me their probLems”. even my doGGie trixie
is GettinG A smoker’s
couGh!
the pLAnes fLy
so Low over
my house, one
hit me on the
heAd!
i’LL
reAd
it
out!
6

7. “i then Answered Lots of “met with business peopLe “wAs Guest speAker
Letters And emAiLs from to tALk About A new roAd At our nice new
my constituents.” for our AreA!” community centre”
it’s smALL!
‘At the weekend i did Lots of “i noticed thAt here “so on mondAy i
thinGs in my constituency And were A Lot of peopLe set off to the
my constituent wAs riGht! smokinG in pubLic”. AssembLy with
the ideA thAt
i’d propose A
new biLL - ‘the
stop smokinG in
pubLic biLL‘
“in the morninG i sAt in the “in the Afternoon i “on tuesdAy i spent
pLenAry in the chAmber. wrote the outLine the whoLe dAy in
there wAs A biG debAte of my proposed biLL. the pLenAry. this
About wAter chArGes”. it wAs 5067 pAGes time the debAte wAs
LonG”. About budGets”.
but we need
h2o more money!
money!
“At A committee meetinG on “...or check the whAt Are LAws?
wednesdAy i Questioned A thinGs thAt miGht not
minister About one of his biLLs. work in A biLL before they’re
it wAs GreAt! i feLt Like A it cAn be A LAw! so the ruLes
teAcher mArkinG his homework! we Ask Lots of thAt ALL
mLAs need to mAke sure thAt Questions. eArthLinGs
there Are no mistAkes...” hAve to
obey!
7

8. “on wednesdAy i ALso sit on A “on thursdAy i sAt “ALso hAd Lots
committee which is LookinG At A on A committee of meetinGs with
biLL About the environment. we which Looked At experts And peopLe
hAd ALL sorts of experts Give my ‘stop smokinG in the biLL wouLd
us Advice!” pubLic pLAces’ biLL”. Affect!”.
“my biLL meAnt Lots ...untiL it wAs finALLy thAt Looks Like there
of time spent At Lots AGreed by the AssembLy A Lot of hArd must be
of meetinGs... And Got royAL Assent. it work! An eAsier
then becAme A LAw! wAy!
fAct fiLe no. 19031/2. since the ministers A minister is An mLA who
A biLL is An ideA for seem to hAve the best Gets An extrA job -
A new LAw. it cAn chAnce of mAkinG new they Are in chArGe of A
be proposed (put LAws hAppen, ‘mArtiAn Government depArtment!
forwArd) by: commAnd’ wAnt Lots
of our mLAs to be A whAt?
ministers!
yeh,
but
whAt
Are
they?
eAch of the Government
Can yOU depArtments is run by A
gOveRnMent dePaRtMentS: find minister from one of the
OUt? poLiticAL pArties!
• health • tRanSPORt
• agRiCUltURe • enviROnMent
exActLy! And they’re
• finanCe • ROadS • aRtS ALL heAded up by the
• bUSineSS • edUCatiOn
USE THE 1st minister And deputy
• hOUSing • JUStiCe INTERNET TO 1st minister.
FIND OUT
THE NAMES
Look
OF ALL THE
MINISTERS.
8

9. thAt entire Group just think! if we QUiCk mLAs pAss LAws in
of ministers is hAve Lots of mLAs the Assemby.
cALLed ‘the executive And ministers we QUiZ
committee’ And they cAn hAve more
come up with most of power in the hOw
the new LAws And AssembLy. ooh riGht
Many sorry! Got
run everythinG!
Mlas aRe mixed up.
the needed
we wAnt whAt?
to be fOR a
them! MaJORity
?
so, where do they
ALL work?
Aye!
they hAve A biG
no!
pLAce cALLed Aye!
‘pArLiAment
buiLdinGs’. the
mLAs meet in
no!
the AssembLy Aye!
chAmber no!
the speAker is one of the most he decides whAt ...seLects
importAnt peopLe in the AssembLy. his biLLs wiLL be Questions
job is to controL ALL the debAtes in discussed, mAkes And...
the AssembLy chAmber! sure the mLAs
foLLow the ruLes,
Looks After votinG... i pity the
mArtiAn who
Gets his
job!
why were those mLAs no! no! fAct fiLe no. 168. durinG
shoutinG ‘Aye’ At the the 2nd worLd wAr
speAker? pArLiAment buiLdinGs
wAs pAinted bLAck usinG
it’s the oLd no! no! tAr And cow poo! this
fAshioned wAs to hide it from
wAy of sAyinG GermAn pLAnes thAt
so they bombed beLfAst!
you’re votinG sAy Aye!
‘yes’. Aye!
‘no’, if
they’re
votinG
no’
Gross!
9

10. ALert! ALert! we hAve ZoominG throuGh ...A spAceship from A
just picked up this tv spAce At A terrific fAr off pLAce...
broAdcAst for kids! pAce...
...on boArd - bLue beinGs ...their mission to find out About
from Another rAce... - to Question mLAs And their bAse!
A GirL cALLed
GrAce.
hey GrAce, A member of And whAt And how do they do
whAt’s An mLA the LeGisLAtive do mLAs thAt, GrAce?
And whAt’s AssembLy do, GrAce?
thAt pLAce? And thAt’s
pArLiAment they meet peopLe
buiLdinGs - they mAke fAce to fAce,
their bAse! northern Listen to their
ireLAnd ideAs And mAke A
A better cAse...
pLAce!
...which they LAws Get it mAkes in thAt cAse And with A
present in mAde which Life Good we won’t ZAp smiLe they
this pLAce! is reALLy And we ALL your rAce. disAppeAred
Ace! embrAce! we respect without A
peopLe who trAce!
improve their
pLAce!
10

11. those were pLutoniAns from
pLuto!! you cAn’t beLieve A
whAt’LL we do? *Zowie!
wiLL i sound the
word they sAy! they’LL be bAck bAttLe ship ALert
And they’LL ZAp ALL the puny And ‘fire up’ the
eArthLinGs! we hAve
no choice. deAth rAy?
we’LL hAve
to AttAck
our first!
eArthLinGs!
*Gosh
no! whAt did we AGree About riGht, Let’s think. is you’re jokinG!
not usinG vioLence And ALL the there AnythinG we they’re just A
tALk About usinGs ‘poLitics’ to hAven’t hAd time to bunch of tin
tAke controL!? LeArn? i know! Let’s droners!
not tAke chAnces.
we’LL brinG ‘the
Archie 6’ with us! we
oops! sorry, they’re proGrAmmed
Got excited! resent
to know ALL About thAt!
poLitics!
the the Good the speAker mLA stAnds
there chAirs ALL for member
Are 108 AssembLy fridAy
chAmber is AGreement the meetinGs of the
mLAs! in the LeGisLAtive
fiZZ! bLue! wAs siGned
fiZZ! in 1998! AssembLy AssembLy!
fiZZ! chAmber! fiZZ!
fiZZ!
there
Are 18
constituencies
i just Got A teLecALL! not whAt’LL we do when we
mAny mArtiAns wAnt to Go tAke over?
At the moment. they sAy
it’s the wet seAson! whAt’LL
we do?
IKE we’LL use up ALL
W OULD L IAN their money
IF YOU THE MART
then we’LL seLL
there’s onLy one them As sLAves
thinG for it!
TO JOIN SION FORCE to A mininG
pLAnet!
INVA COMPLETE
PLEASE TS WHICH
THE TES TO QUALIFY exceLLent
i’m LookinG
FOLLOWVOP!* forwArd to
LAndinG.
*TA
11

12. test 1
Let’s pretend
you’re the minister here’s the £10,000 eArthLinG
Are you of finAnce. he’s the pounds you cAn spend on
projects next yeAr.
Good enouGh eArthLinG in chArGe
of the AssembLy’s
to be pArt money.
of the Gosh!
mArtiAn 1.
2.
invAsion 3.
4...
force?
you’ve Asked the other you hAve to decide which
did you ministers to teLL you projects Get money And exActLy. here
know whAt projects they how much they Get. Are the projects.
thAt the
hAve And how much Good Luck!
money they need. And i cAn
niA Give them Any
so whAt’s *snAZ!
minister Amount of
my tAsk? money.
of finAnce
hAs to
decide
how
money
is spent
eAch
yeAr?
*eAsy!
TICK EITHER THE ‘YES’ OR ‘NO’ BOX UNDER EACH IDEA. FOR THOSE THAT YOU TICK YES, FILL IN THE ‘AMOUNT’ BOX
WITH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND ON THAT PROJECT AND THEN WRITE A FEW WORDS AS TO
WHY YOU DECIDED THAT.
Minister for Education
Wants £5,000 for a schools anti-bullying programme
Yes No Amount £
Explain your decision
Minister for Employment and Learning
Wants £4,000 for a programme to help retrain the unemployed
Yes No Amount £
Explain your decision
12

13. test 1
Minister for the Environment
Wants £6,000 for a recycling programme
Yes No Amount £
Explain your decision
Minister for Health
Wants £7,000 for an anti-drugs campaign
Yes No Amount £
Explain your decision
Minister for Social Development
Wants £10,000 for benefits to stop older people living in poverty
Yes No Amount £
Explain your decision
Total £
Explain how you chose which project to give the most money to and why.
Project
Gosh i didn’t
Reasons know thAt!
did you know thAt the reAL minister for finAnc
e in the AssembLy,
with the heLp of the other ministers And memb
ers of the
AssembLy, hAs to decide eAch yeAr how to spend
miLLions of
pounds fAirLy Across the whoLe of northern
ireLAnd?
13

14. test 2
our LeAder, kruG 4, needs to
know some of the AreAs the
AssembLy cAn mAke decisions
About. your 2nd test is to
compLete the words And drAw
A picture in eAch box.
Gosh!
okAy,
i’LL try
my very
best.
A R C U
Clue: Farming
the
northern
ireLAnd
AssembLy
mAkes
decisions
About...
H H ED C
Clue: Are you feeling well? Clue: Learning
S T TR T E V NT
Clue: Keeps you fit! Clue: Gets you from A to B Clue: The world around us
14

15. test 3
kruG 4 wAnts more he ALso wAnts you
info on how the to print or drAw A
northern ireLAnd picture on eAch of
AssembLy works. the foLLowinG topics.
so your 3rd tAsk
is to compLete this info!
report usinG the drAw!
northern ireLAnd check.
AssembLy website.
usinG the niA
website wiLL mAke
it eAsier.
* www.niAssembLy.Gov.uk drAw in boxes beLow
Who are the 6 MLAs in your constituency?
Which parties are they from?
What committees do they ‘sit on’?
What is happening this week in the Northern
Ireland Assembly?
What is the role of the Speaker?
15

16. test 4
to test if you know About where
you’LL be GoinG you’ve Got to prove
you know About the AreA. so you’ve
Got to shAde in your constituency
And mArk the LocAtion of the
schooL you’re GoinG to. ALso you
need to mArk the LocAtion
of mAjor towns And cities.
to mAke sure you know whAt
your constituency Looks Like.
drAw one of the LAndmArks.
i couLd drAw
A buiLdinG
or stAtue or
A mountAin
or...
your finAL tAsk is to decide which
LAws you pLAn to mAke to keep the
eArthLinGs hAppy And why you think *friZ
the eArthLinGs wiLL be hAppy.
new law why eaRthlingS will like yOUR law
a law tO ...................................................................... eaRthlingS will be haPPy beCaUSe ...............................
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16 *simpLe