1. 11 Reasons As to Why People
Should Date Me
U gon’ learn today muthafucka

2. 1. I’m adorable af
• Look at this shit. You seen anything cuter?
No you haven’t. Maybe an adorable ass
koala or Neil Patrick Harris’s kids, but fuck
you that’s the only thing cuter than me.

3. 2. I have fashion sense like
fucking Lord Disick
• You’ll look great next to me, especially if
you know how to dress yo’ self. If you
don’t, then gtfo.
Ever wonder if your shoes really match your
dress? Bitch I gotchu.

4. 3. I’ll be straight up wit chu
• Ever wonder if yo jeans actually make you
look fat? I’ll tell you straight up if they do.
Honesty, bitch.

5. 4. I’m hilarious af
• I can make you laugh all day. If you at
least not laughing at this powerpoint, then
fuck you you have no sense of humor.
• I tell great puns. Bitches love puns. Here’s
an example: r u a beaver cuz dam.
• That was hilarious as fuck, admit it.

6. 5. I’ll buy you tampons
• Can a bitch ask for more?

7. 6. I’ll respect you and shit
• Feminism, bitch. I respect that shit. I’ll let
you make decisions and stuff, and won’t
disrespect you by making stupid as hell
woman jokes.
• Women are not jokes. They’re the future,
dawg.
• I’ll make my own damn sandwich

8. 7. I’ll do cute stuff with you
• Wanna cuddle and watch movies? I’m
down with that shit. Pick a movie gurl. I’ll
even watch that stupid af twilight shit with
you.
• Wanna go on a picnic or do some fun
hipster shit? I’ll do that with you. Fuck, I’ll
even pay for everything you want.

9. 8. I’m not afraid of the public
• That means I don’t mind making a fool out
of myself if it gets your bitch ass to smile.
• I’ll fucking sing a love song to you in
Times Square. And I can’t even fucking
sing. Maybe a little though.

10. 9. I have good taste in shit
• Music? Black Keys bitch. Two Door Cinema
Club, Of Monsters and Men, Beirut, The Smiths.
All that good shit.
• Movies? Wes Anderson, dawg. James Bond,
Monty Python, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind. Independent movies are my shit yo’.
• Books? You like Animal Farm? Well I fucking
do. John Green yo’. Fucking poetry. I write it.
Perks of Being a Wallflower? Shit made me cry.
Fight Club? Yeah I read it, and yeah I fucking
loved it.

11. 10. I’ll support you
• I’m self-conscious as fuck. You have body
issues? I’ll help you with that shit. You
suffer from depression, eating disorders,
etc? I’ll be there for motivational support
every step of the way, gurl.
• Worst thing you can say is “get over it”.
We’ll be a team. I help you, you help me.
No selfishness in this shit. Equality, dawg.

12. 11. Because fuck you that’s why
• If this powerpoint hasn’t convinced you that I’m
the perfect person to date, then that’s okay. Over
a billion people in the world dawg, we’ll all find
someone eventually.
• But forreal, if this powerpoint convinced you to
date me, then let’s go gurl. First act of business is
a road trip.
• Yeah, I’m spontaneous as fuck. You like dat?
Yeah, I thought you would. Peace out girl scouts.