Bollywood is one of the biggest film industry in this world as far number of films released goes, it’s now globally expanding and in India everyone is mad about it, a typical Bollywood film always has a love story and we have also seen some of the wittiest dialog in many

1. storyepic.com http://www.storyepic.com/wittiest-bollywood-line-ever-heared/
Wittiest Bollywood Lines You’ve Ever Heard
Bollywood is one of the biggest film industry in this world as far number of films released goes, it’s now
globally expanding and in India everyone is mad about it, a typical Bollywood film always has a love story
and we have also seen some of the wittiest dialog in many
saala tumhara pyaar nahi hua,,civil service ka exam ho gya ,,nikalta hi nahi hai,,,(it seems ur love is like a
civil service exam ,u r not able to clear it,) - Raanjhanaa
Bala in gundey : sala jis bangali ko football nahi aata uspe kabhi bharosa nahi karna chahiye !!

2. 3 idiot
Human behaviour ke baare me uss din humne kuch jaana, Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai, lekin dost
first aa jaye toh jyada dukh hota hai. (We learnt something about human behaviour that day, It feels bad
when a friend fails, but it feels even worse when he comes first.) – 3 Idiots
“Bewakoof aur chutiya mein dhaage barabar ka farak hota hai. Dhage ke henge bewakoof aur hunge,
chutiya. Dhaga khench lo to kaun hai bewakoof kaun hai chutiya, carore rupiye ka prashan hai bhaiya” (A
thin line separates a fool from a fucker. On one end of the line lies the fool and on the other, the fucker.
Snap the line then who’s the fool and who’s the fucker that’s the million dollar question, my friend.) –
Omkara

3. Sanjay Dutt : Ye bomb tere sir par rakh du to kya pehle fatega? bomb ya tera sir..
Mahesh : kaaafi difficult h ye to..
then typical style of Sanjay Dutt big eyes with (shaitani) laugh “pehle teri fategi saale..”
- Kaante
Crime master Gogo naam hai mera … aankhen nikaal kar gotiyaan khelta hoon main

4. Another One from Andaaz apna apna

5. Gangs of wasseypur
Baap ka, dada ka, bhai ka. sabka badla lega re, tera faizal.
One more epic dialog from Gangs
of Wasseypur

6. ” Ek pair past me, aur ek future mein…tabhi toh hum aaj pe moot rahe hain “
( ” with one foot on our past and the other on our future, we are actually pissing on our present “.)
- Aamir Khan in Rang de Basanti.
Kashmir na koi le sakta hai aur Kashmir na koi de sakta hai … Kashmir mein bus teen din aur do raat ka
honeymoon package ho sakta hai
When you can’t change the girl … change the girl
Agar tum safed sari mein laal bindi lagakar aa jao … toh maa kasam ambulance lagogi

7. - Chasme Badoor
Galti se mishtake ho gaya (mistake
happened by mistake)

8. Aye kaam legal hai … aaj se hi nahin, Mahabharat ke time se – Vicky Donor
“Goli nahi marenge usko, kah ke lenge uski” – Gangs of Wasseypur
“Jo ladki hume chahiye, usse hum nahi chahiye. Aur jisko hum chahiye, wo kisko chahiye!”
- Garam Masala

9. “Behind every successful man, there is a woman True But Behind every unsuccessful man, also there is a
woman”
Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai.
aur kya problem hai
Problem yeh hai ki main chahata hoon ki meri life mein koiye problem na ho
Lekin agar meri life mein koiye problem na ho toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai…
And bull shit she is worried yaar use to celebrate karna chahiye tha
isn’t this exactly what she wants
Seriously yaar aajkal jab bhi wo muh kholti man karta hai muh me kuch stuff kardoon
Trust me yaar cheih mahinom me I have had it all Sab dekhliya meine
Kaunsi pyaar Kaisi relationship?
Kahin ki khushiya?
Relationship ka matlab ye rehta hai an end to your own happiness
Uske baad all you have to worry about is uski khushiyaan uska birthday
uske kutte ka birthday
Uska new year to kabhi tumhara bhi new year tha
In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta
A happy woman is a myth
Tu batman wali ki dekh le
Saala Jab tak saala batman nahi bana
tab tak bolti rahi
tum toh kuch karte nahi ho
nakara ho
napunshak ho
main tum jaise insaan ke saath kaise reh sakti hu
jisdin bechara batman ban gaya

10. us din boli
tum toh batman ban gaye
mujhe toh ek normal insaan chahiye tha
main tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hu
Sab saalan na in bollywood kahaniyon ka dosh hai
Bloody bollywood romantic masaala
Ek ladka ek ladki dono ko pyaar hua Dono saath saath Film khatam
Is ke baad ka story koi nahi batata Iske baad ki kahaani mein batata hoon
Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko do din hug nahi kiya To problem
Hug kiya to chape ho rahe ho Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta
Saale Shopping khatam nahi hoti inki Pehle cushion laye fir curtain laye
cushion, curtain se match nahi kiye
toh aur cushion laye
mere ghar mein mug itne hai ki
unko bechne jaoon
toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye
Ek to jo cheez lena hai wo leke nahi ayegi do hafte dimag chatenge ki
table lena hai
table lena hai
5 ghante maal me bitake ek sadhi si chappal utha kar layenge
aur fir agle do hafte dimag chatenge
table lena hai
table lena hai…
Offic e me kaam kar raha hoon
Phone aa jayega
Phone utathe hi bol deta hoon
Baat nahi kar sakta
Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna?
Do minute karloge to kya ho jayega
Are do minute karloonga to tumhe kya miledi meri maan
Thik se to kar paoonga nahi
Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaataan to naatak
Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai…
Kitna ghatiya invention hai saala
Trust me I say patta hai saala patta…
ek toh …inke ad bhi dekho
lo ji 1 paisa per second
aur phone karo
aur phone karo
aare call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jati hai karne ko
fir iska jawab unhe bhi do

11. tumhare pass baat kyon nahi hai karne ko
you have lost interest in me
tumhe hoon hoon hi karna atha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyon kiya???
are meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyon kiya???
jake bharti mittal se puch na…
tujhe main bata raha hoon
us ad mein kutta nahi kutia hai…
seriously
mein shart laga sakta hoon…
Tujhe kya lagta hai
Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo india nahi jaa raha tha
Glati se pahoonch gaya?
Usko to pata tha
Wo bechara to kahin door jaan chahta tha
Biwi ki chakkar me bolna pada India jaa raha hoon
Nah to das sawaal poochti
Kahaan jaa rahe ho
Kyon jaa rahe ho
Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho?
Seedhe seedhe kyon nahi bolte ki mujhse kahin door jaan chahte ho/
Aaj tak bechare ka mazaak udati hai duniya
Office me kaam kar raha hoon
Sms aajayega
I love you
Thik hai mein bhi sms karleta hoon
I love you too
Iske baad sms pe sms shuroo
abey kaam kya karti hai office mein???
Do sms ka reply mat karna
Turant Phone aa jayega
Phone mat uthaa
To dus min me message aa chuka hoga
I don’t think its working anymore
Dus min me Babu I love you to
I don’t think its working anymore
And this is when they are not even down
Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyon aate hain
Aur yeh…. gay bande itne successful kyon hote hai???

12. Because they don’t have a woman to screw their happiness na
Log kehte hain na behind every successful man, there is a woman
True
But koi ye nahi bataata ki
behind every unsuccessful man, also there is a woman
Aur ye to koi bhi bata sakta hai na
Ki unsuccessful logon ka taadaath
Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya me
Saala Office me kaam kar raha hoon
Keh raha hoon late ho jaaonga
To khaana nahi khayegi
Phir bhooki so jayegi
Kya karoon naukri chod doon?
saale ghar jaao
Pehle Inhe manao inhe khilao
Uske baad khud ki bhookh to aise hi mar jaati hai
Is sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi tarah
Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai chup chaap to gaya
Gadi gadi
kya soch rahe ho???
kya soch rahe ho???
kya soch rahe ho???
Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maa
yeh soch raha hoon ki tera mooh kaise band karu…
kya soch raha hoon
camera laga doon dimag mein…
Is sab ke baad
We never talk
We need to talk
I don’t think its working any more
And mein tumhe bata raha hoon
You cannot discuss anything with a woman
Because they call it a discussion
But any discussion with a woman is an argument
Aur argument mein toh tu boss unse jeet hi nahi sakta…

13. Because hum aadmiyon ki ek basic need hoti hai
To make sense in an argument
Ladkiyon ko koi farak nahi padta
Sense jaise bekaasi cheez ki wajeh se wo
Argument kaise haar jaye
Ek to aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi
aaj ki baat par jhagada hoga do mahine baad…
Yahaan saala yaad hi nahi rehta hai do mahine pehle hua kya tha???
Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hain
yeh chota hatiyar nahi
bada hatiyar hai
isse badi ladai mein use karenge…
TU kabhi try karliyo khud ko sahi saabit karne ki
Tujhe lag hi raha haoga ki is point se tu apni baat ko ssabit karlega
Lekin tabhi ek awaaz ayegi
Ungli neeche karoo
Tune dhyaan bhi nahi diya hoga
Lekin tumhari nadaan si ungli unki taraf point kar rahi hogi
And suddenly , the whole argument will flush down the gutter
And mudra ye reh jayega ki
How dare you point a finger at me?
Kisne banaya ye rule
Kisne banaya?
Saal wo beech argument me tumhe jhoota phek ke maarle to koi dikkat nahi
Lekin unki taraf ek ungli point kardo
Saara mudra khatam
Wo sahi tum galat
Shaadi se pehle wo nagin tune kyon bhajta hai
Kyon ki band wala bhi tumhe chetaavani de raha hoga ki kaun aa raha hai tumhari zindagi me
Inka signature tune hai wo
Ab ye bata wo kya karne aayi thi tere paas yahaan
Same cheez mein karoon to
Uske kisi friend ko call karke

14. Ab ye problems ginaoon to
Kahegi tumne meir friend ko call kiya
Hmm hmm
Tum uski sympathy gain karna chahte ho?
Y don’t you go and sleep with her?
Its ridiculous yaar
_ Frustrated Aashiq from Pyaar ka Punchnama