1. Communicating with Diplomacy & Professionalism
LUNCH & LEARN – SEPTEMBER 2013
DISAGREEING WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLE
A Summary of the Skillpath Course
The Essentials Of Communicating with Diplomacy & Professionalism
By Trainer Mary Jo Asmuth on October 4-5, 2012

2. LUNCH & LEARN
COMMUNICATING WITH DIPLOMACY & PROFESSIONALISM
GOALS of LUNCH & LEARN:
 1 MANAGE CONFLICT Disagree agreeably with co-workers and clients.
 2 INNOVATE Create innovative products in an innovative workplace.
 3 MODEL BEHAVIOR Practice tips & tricks.

3. 0
10
20
30
40
50
60
Worry Anger Pain
% of People with Daily Hours of Negative Emotions
0-3 HOURS 4-6 HOURS 7-9 HOURS 10+ HOURS
Teams that focus on strengths
every day
have 12.5% greater productivity.
MANAGE CONFLICTS Daily
Stress Sadness

4. MANAGE CONFLICT Disagree agreeably with co-workers and clients.
WHY COMMUNICATE IF WE ALL DISAGREE?
HOW DO WE COMMUNICATE IF WE DISAGREE?
Tip: The Law of the Garbage Truck
A mission to increase happiness, success, and civility
in the world.
by David J. Pollay
 Without useful disagreement, all is milktoast.
 Disagree … without being disagreeable.

5. MANAGE CONFLICT Disagree agreeably with co-workers and clients.
MANAGE
 Run | Direct | Administer | Supervise | Handle | Deal with | Control | Cope

6. MANAGE CONFLICT Disagree agreeably with co-workers and clients.
CONFLICT
 Disagreement | Clash | Divergence | Argument | Variance | Quarrel | Inconsistency

7. INNOVATE Create innovative work in an innovative workplace.
INNOVATIVE
 Ground-breaking | Pioneering | Inventive | Original | New | Novel | Modern
INNOVATION
 Novelty | Modernism | Modernization | Improvement | Advance | Originality

8. MODEL DIPLOMACY & PROFESSIONALISM Practice tips & tricks.
DIPLOMACY
 Mediation | Negotiation | Peace-keeping | Tact | Skill | Subtlety | Discretion
PROFESSIONAL
 Expert | Specialized | Qualified | Proficient | Skilled | Trained | Practiced

9. For the Organization and Department
to achieve our Missions and Visions
We are the ones to foster respect, and grow innovative environments.
We are the ones to make innovative offerings possible… and beautiful.
WHY Communicate if We All Disagree?

10. HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism
• Get to the values of the organization
• Use the Mission statement for system integrity.Values
• Establish an objective or goal.
• Example: % growth of sub-business by end of Q3.Goals
• Facilitate interdependence with others.
• Know what each other needs. Get it on the table.Priorities
• Co-create a process.
• Let’s take on this process for 3 mos. We can compare the
results.
Methods
• Focus on measurable results
• Example: Here are the current results with the current
method. Let’s compare it with the data of the other method.
Information
INNOVATE Negotiate a New Understanding.

11. HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism
INNOVATE Create Win-Win Solutions.
Ask for recommendations
Help me to see the other side of this issue…
Express your appreciation
Thanks for your input and assistance...
Write it down.
Let’s take 5 minutes for a brainstorm...
Negotiate
Your idea opens up new possibilities... What if…
How would it look if…
Follow up.
Let’s plan to exchange email tomorrow,
for continuity in our progress

12. HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism.
ASK QUESTIONS
• Don’t Assume. Ask for solid facts.
• Ask Assertive Questions. Someone else is wondering too.
• Where does the conflict reside? At what level?…
• I should know this. I won’t ask.”…
LISTEN SKILLFULLY 3:1
“You” statements and “I” statements.
Each person takes responsibility for their feelings/actions.
• I hear you saying… … I understand you’re angry…
WRITE/DRAW.
Use visuals to remove the emotion/personal.
• Brain wants to picture things. Mind works in images.
• Draw, write with bullet points, etc
• Let’s summarize the facts of our discussion with a list.
INNOVATE Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

13. HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism
• Move on to solving the problem
Remove fault-finding focus.
• Create a Win-Win solution, rather than a Win-Lose.
Differentiate a New Understanding from a Compromise
• Let’s fix it!
Demonstrate a goal.
• We are all valid.
Maintain self worth for each person.
INNOVATE Negotiate a New Understanding.
< Watch a
video

14.  Build Strong relationships.
Smile and say hello to everyone with whom you work.
 Ask for what you need.
Do not hint, insinuate, expect, or assume others can read your mind.
 Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best intentions.
In any case, they are doing the best they can do.
 Treat people like people.
Micro management and belittling breaks down trust, innovation.
Share and work within our common value systems.
HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism.
MODEL BEHAVIOR Build trust and rapport.

15. HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism.
MODEL BEHAVIOR Speak Assertively.

16. HOW to Communicate If We All Disagree.
“When you two have finished arguing your opinions,
I actually have data.”
MODEL BEHAVIOR Share common ground.

17.  Relate to Personality Types
Relater, Integrator, Operator, Driver
 Grow self-esteem.
Affirm self worth. Minimize damage to others.
 Deal with morale destroyers and fault-finders.
CAVE Dwellers: Constantly Against Virtually Everything.
HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism
It takes all kinds.
~ my Grandma Elsa
MODEL BEHAVIOR Understand People.
We are different,
not wrong.

18.  Tell the Truth without Fear
FEAR – False Expectations Appearing Real
 Be Unconditionally Constructive
Increase other people’s self-esteem.
Praise achievements
Solve problems
Seek win-win situations.
HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism
Say what you mean, mean what you say,
without being mean.
MODEL BEHAVIOR Be Genuine and Generous.

19. HABITS NEED TO BE MODIFIED AND PRACTICED
You can’t drop a bad habit…
you replace it with the one you want.
HOW to Communicate with Diplomacy & Professionalism
Our life is what our thoughts make it. ~
Marcus Aurelius
MODEL BEHAVIOR Practice.

20. Goodbye to dumping garbage and conflict on others.
MODEL Diplomacy & Professionalism
Hello to civility, innovation, and success in the world!
Live The Law of the Garbage Truck