How To Stay Calm?

1. How to Stay Calm
(control your Anger)

2. An inspiration from
An inspiration from
Management Article
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3. Put yourself in a state of mind where you say
to yourself, Here is an opportunity for you to
to yourself 'Here is an opportunity for you to
celebrate like never before, my own power,
my own ability to get myself to do whatever is
my own ability to get myself to do whatever is
necessary.'
Anthony Robbins
Anthony Robbins

4. Have you ever found yourself angry with
Have you ever found yourself angry with
people you care about and didn’t seem able
to stop yourself?
to stop yourself?

5. Do people who love you tell you that
you have anger management issues?
you have anger management issues?

6. Have you lost some important relationships
Have you lost some important relationships
or created problems for yourself at work
because you couldn t seem to control your
because you couldn’t seem to control your
angry behavior?

7. If this describes you, then you need to regain
control and stop yourself from hurting others.

8. The first thing to do is to recognize that
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you are choosing your anger.
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9. What?

10. Choosing my anger?

11. Well, there are several reasons people may
W ll h l l
choose anger. Let’s see which one best
describes you.
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12. Some people use anger to intimidate others
and subsequently get what they want. In this
way, the angry person is able to control the
behavior of others.

13. Some people use their anger as a way of
Some people use their anger as a way of
getting attention. If a person needs attention,
it doesn t always matter whether that
it doesn’t always matter whether that
attention is positive or negative, as long as
someone is noticing him or her.
someone is noticing him or her

14. Anger can also be used as a tactic to avoid
Anger can also be used as a tactic to avoid
responsibility. If a person doesn’t want to do
something, anger can be a valid way to get
something anger can be a valid way to get
out of it.

15. Similar to wanting attention, sometimes
Similar to wanting attention sometimes
people are feeling small and insignificant and
anger works to pump themselves up or
anger works to pump themselves up or
provide courage to do something scary.

16. Anger has energy.

17. When someone is experiencing things
that are frustrating, he or she may not
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be dealing with his or her anger.

18. Instead of processing it, cognitively
Instead of processing it cognitively
restructuring some belief systems or working
out the energy physically, anger can provide a
out the energy physically anger can provide a
much needed release valve.

19. Do you recognize yourself in any of
those scenarios?
those scenarios?

20. When you lose your temper, which one
of these reasons best identifies what
you are trying to accomplish?

21. Perhaps you have yet another reason. One
Perhaps you have yet another reason One
thing I know for sure is that you always
behave in your best attempt to get something
behave in your best attempt to get something
you want. Your behavior is never random and
it never just happens to you
it never “just happensquot; to you.

22. It’s a very subtle difference but an
important one nonetheless.

23. All behavior is proactive.

24. You do not choose a behavior because of
something that occurred outside of you.

25. For example,
For example
I can remember asking my youngest son to
clean his room. He said he would do it later—
clean his room He said he would do it later
only later never came. So, I patiently asked
him a second time. Again, he said he d do it
him a second time Again he said he’d do it
later. This went on for most of the day. Finally,
in exasperation, I lost my temper with him
in exasperation I lost my temper with him
and yelled at him about cleaning his room.

26. The question is why did I get angry?

27. Most people would say I got angry because
Most people would say I got angry because
my son wouldn’t do what I asked. However,
the real reason is that I used my anger as my
the real reason is that I used my anger as my
best attempt to get my son to clean his room.
(Just for the record, it didn t work very well.)
(Just for the record it didn’t work very well )

28. Why am I making this seemingly
insignificant distinction?
insignificant distinction?

29. Because once you become conscious of the
B b i fh
reasons you are choosing your behavior, then
you can consciously choose to do something
i lh td thi
more responsible and more effective.

30. More responsible means you are getting your
More responsible means you are getting your
needs met without interfering with other
people meeting theirs. Effective means it
people meeting theirs Effective means it
actually works to get you what you really
want.
want

31. When you use anger, it is not responsible
When you use anger, it is not responsible
because anger almost always interferes with
the other person getting his or her needs
the other person getting his or her needs
met. You definitely have not only the right,
but also the responsibility to get your needs
but also the responsibility to get your needs
met but not at the expense of someone else.

32. Underlying most reasons for choosing anger,
you are probably attempting to improve an
you are probably attempting to improve an
important relationship in your life. Anger will
never work to do that. You may get the initial
never work to do that You may get the initial
satisfaction of getting the other person to do
your bidding, but you have damaged
your bidding but you have damaged
something in the relationship.

33. You must make a proactive plan about what
you are going to do instead of using anger. It
should be something that has at least an
equal chance of getting you what you want
while supporting others in their process of
getting their own needs met.

34. Control your anger
and
and
stay calm

35. Thank you,
amirsaiftaz@gmail.com
www.amirsaiftaz.blogspot.com
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