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Far away from Eden Ep.5.2.: Business as usual?
Ep. 5.2. of my Apocalegacy: Overworked and Writers Block - Read and rate anyway - pretty please?
Family Name: Jaquet
Lot Name: 223 Idlewild Street
Categories:Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Satire
Hi there, Liz Here! - Well, actually it's
Amaryl-'Lis', but I like 'Liz' better, so
just call me Liz, 'kay?
- Anyway, welcome back to next part of
this Vampogacy, where my family
struggles through an unfriendly takeover
from the vampires of our neighborhood
etcetera... - Question: does anyone still
know, who is on which side? For me, they
look all alike - boring townie clothes and
haircuts and no personality at all. Well,
fear no more, Heiress Liz will save the
day, lol!
Sooo, what do you say to my new dress
and haircut? Yes, we've updated our
Custom Content, with wonderful meshes,
haircuts etc. from XMSims, PeggySims,
NoukiSims2, RoseSims2, MTS2 - all
credits to the wonderful designers! Stats
for my current Clothing: Haircut is from
Nouk, Dress from Maxoidmonkey,
Makeup from the Exchange - I love it!
And now to something completely
different: Ladies, meet Alex, my bigger
brother - this handsome Hunk with his
gentle behaviour and good manners and a
promising career in the Redistribution
Business, *cough*Criminal*cough* is still
available for a steady relationship with a
fine, distinguished woman, so if you're
interested to meet him, just give me a call,
and I'll set you up for a Date!
"What the... are you doing there, Sis?!"
"Trying to help my dear Brother to
find the Love of his life?"
"Sis, as much as I appreciate your
concern, but I don't think..."
"Hey, if you're going to sell a product,
advertising is the first step. Oh, and
make sure, that they bring in enough
cash, so they can buy..."
" SIS! "
"OK,OK, what can I say? I'm Fortune,
after all..."
"... like Dad, though I'm not totally
sure, if that is really true. I mean,
Fortune Sims are supposed to lust
after money, but Dad only lusts after
Mom... and a jukebox, period. And
Mom - well, I guess, you all know
Mom already: Founder, College
Overachiever, Mother of three kids,
possible oldest living Being on Earth...
- if you ask me: she takes herself
waaaaayyyyy too important...."
"Young Lady, I think, we need to
work a bit on your manners..."
"Aw, Mom, you were the first
rebellious teenager on Earth after all,
how'd you thought I would turn out?"
"...21?"
" Annnd that's a good way to
introduce my future Hubby Ben
Long... you know, he looks actually
sexy in his new custom uniform -
thanks to matthewterra from the
exchange - and excluding his facial
extremities..."
" 21,21,21,21,21...."
" Aw, sorry Honey, I forgot... He
doesn't like to be reminded of this...
oh, and don't pay attention to his little
numerological obsession either, I
hope, he snaps out of it, once I turn..."
"...21?"
"Yes Benny, now go and do some
skilling, darling. I know how much
you love skilling, my little..."
" *Snort*... my little ..., tell you what,
Sis, you should sell this freak and get
a new one, though I doubt, anyone
would take him, even for free..."
" Oh, be quiet, Lil'Bro... and could you
please stop posing like this in front of
the camera, it's disgusting!"
" As if anyone in this household
would care! You're all making out in
front of it 24/7! I'm the only one, who
does at least some regular skilling..."
"My brother Antoine, the mean
Knowledge Sim... yes, the one, who
took over my older brothers teenage
girlfriend..."
"And why not? I need to keep my
motives up for skilling, and why
should I waste time looking for
another bi..."
*SPLAT*
"AUUUGH! UNFAIR!"
" *Snicker*, serves you right, Bro. Hey,
Superdewk, throw another one, and
you'll get 25% off on all prices at my
place! "
" You....CAPITALIST! "
" RED THREAT!"
" SOULSELLER! "
"METALLIC FREAK!"
"ANTOINE!!! AMARYLLIS!!!"
"Aw, Mom..."
*purr*purrrrrr* [translation: foolish,
freaky humans... you just have to love
them....]
... Dear readers, at this point, I think it's
time for me to interrupt. To prevent any
misunderstandings: Amaryllis and my
little Brother Antoine aren't Enemies...
well, not usually... they just like to tease
each other a lot...
"Hey, Alex, that's mean, it's my turn
this chapter! Mom, tell him, that I'm
the one telling the story this time!"
"Mom, I still have to write down what
I found out about who's behind
creators's missing and..."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever...as if anyone
would miss him... But since I'm still
going to have a little chat with your
sister about foul words and
disrespect, you might as well
continue, my son..."
"Aw,Mom..."
"And that's another thing, I don't want
to hear anymore, young Lady..."
.... well, anyway...let's see what I found
out so far...
... it was a dark and stormy night... Ice
and snow hold the neighborhood in it's
iron grip... when in a mysterious,
unknown castle (by cokebuilder at mts2)
at the Outskirts of the neighborhood,
surrounded by high walls and deep
waters, guarded by angry spirits and
invisible flying ninja monkeys... ehr, I
mean... well, when screams, full of despair
and betrayal, echoed through the dark
corridors...
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*sob*
*sniffle*
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Whimper*
*groan*
"BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"OH, FRAMMIT, Count! How long
will you continue with this... this..."
"But my love... my beautiful
Anais...*sob*"
"For the last time: Forget this
greenskinned Freak! We might have
lost the first battle, but the war has
just started, so get a grip of yourself
already!"
But... But.... but....
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
H(*gasp*)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAA.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
" SHUT UP!
SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! I KNEW
IT! THIS WHOLE THING WAS JUST
ONE OF YOUR STUPID IDEAS
AGAIN TO IMPRESS A GIRL!"
"She *SOB*... she wasn't just 'a girl'...
*sniffle*... she was the... Love of my
life..."
"Yeah, just like the other 3 dozen
Chicks before her...!"
"THIS *WHIMPER*... WAS
DIFFERENT!"
"Right, the last times you stopped
being an idiot BEFORE you drove us
in the..."
*DING-DONG*
"Oh, great, the doorbell... again... this
isn't a castle, it's a game
walkthrough... I told you, invisible
monkeys are NOT a sufficient... oh
forget it..."
"Hrrm...good evening and just in case,
if you're a newlywed couple with a
broken car, this is NOT the castle full
of homosexual transvestites, that's the
next one down the road, so would you
please..."
"EEEEEEEEEEEKH!!!"
"A good evening to you, too... I
assume then, this is the Counts
Castle... the one with the vampire
army *evil*, I mean?"
" *Urrgh*... this face, this face... I think
I'm going to... must be my last lunch
from threehundred years before...
*Hullp* "
" Grmmbl..., Just to your information:
you're not my type either, Miss
Cheekypuffs! *Glare*"
" *Groan* What's the matter,
Countess, why did you scream...?... By
the way: I was just about to commit
suicide, but I can't find the scissors,
have you seen them anywh...?"
".. What the...?"
" :.. This Face, This..."
"... Arrowr... now that's something...
Countess, may you introduce me to
this... georgous, beautiful creature,
please?"
" To this... WHAT? Have you finally
lost your marbles? I've seen squashed
toads that looked..."
" Hush...!... Ehem, Forgive my dear
friend, the Countess, for her totally
lack of acknowleding true beauty,
Miss....?"
"Uranium."
"Aaaah, Uranium... what a wonderful
name... it totally matches the
graciousness of your Body and Soul,
my dear visitor... now, may I ask you
the cause of your visit?"
"You!"
"...ehr, me? Well, I feel honored, but
why...?"
"To get over with this fluffy talk:
'YOU' have an army, 'I' want an army,
'YOU're already drooling over me and
'I' want Woohoo! So, deal or no deal?"
"...21?"
" ... I assume, you mean 'yes'...
well,then... B**B ATTACK!"
*UMPS*
"Ehehehehe... Oh Uranium, dream of
my countless - not COUNT-less -
years of my undead existence, I've
never meet such... such....will you be
my eternal bri...?"
"Yes, and I've read chapter 1 of this
story already, so you don't need to
repeat yourself... now hurry up to the
bedroom, presto!"
"Ah, your wish is my command, my
love... command, and I will lay down
the world to your feet..."
"Ah, good...but I think, for starters,
there is something else that needs to
get laid first, hehehe..."
"... can somebody please pinch me?
This must be a nightmare, it just HAS
to be..."
"OKAY, THAT'S IT! DO YOU HEAR
ME COUNT??!! THIS WAS THE
LAST STRAW! DO WHAT YOU
WANT WITH THIS TOAD
SQUISHEE, BUT I'M OUT OF THIS!
NOW I'll FOLLOW MY OWN
PLANS, AND THERE IS NO WAY... "
... And that was the last time someone
heard from the Countess... No one knows
what happened further in this night, all
we know is, that the Count has now a new
Companion, an evil being named...
"Okay, you had your turn, now I'm
telling the story again!"
"But Sis, I haven't finished yet and..."
"MINEMINEMINEMINE!"
"Alright, alright... your wish is my
command..."
"Really Funny..."
" Alex, you should stop teasing your
sister..."
" Dad, she started it! She even wanted
to set me up for Dates ! And after all, I
don't have time for this, I still need
some creativity points for later
promotions..."
" Alex, she' s your younger sister...
and about Dates: your Mom didn't do
anything at college except dating me...
*sigh* ..., so why bother with skilling
by writing novels?"
" ...Okay, but I'll look for date partners
myself, is that clear?!"
" That's my son... hmm, could you
look after your door, it's somehow
windy in here..."
" Hey you, could you at least give me
a hint, that you don't need a carpool?
I'm not driving through Ice, snow and
evil vampires just to see both your...!"
" Okay, I'm back in action, so let's see,
how I 'upgraded' the common fashion
sense in the neighborhood *giggle* !
First, I think I'm gonna tell you, how
'I' adjusted my own Looks..."
" And that's more important than
what I found out about...?"
" Alex: MY! STORY! And you should
better prepare yourself for your dates!
A lot of women have already
responded to my announcement at the
beginning, so better style up a bit..."
"WHAT?!"
Ehem, as I said, I adjusted my looks - not
that I'm not already irresistable, even
with this stupid 'Marsha B.'-Haircut...
... but hey, if even a... 'Dude*' tells me,
that I could use a bit makeup to spice up
the attraction...
" I just can't believe, that you just set
me up for dates without even asking
if..."
" Aw, come on, Alex, drop it, 'kay? I
promise, I've already selected out the
'Good Ones', no Uglacy material or
any murderous Simselfs!"
" ... *groan* why me....?!"
-------------------
*DonDude - writes the Insomnia
Apocalypse
"... Pfft, brothers..." okay, as I said, I
needed to upgrade my looks, so I went and
tried out some of the new custom
content...
"... and 'Dude' totally fell for it... well,
Big Bro might have reservations about
Simselfs, but I'm not so picky... "
... especially not, if it's good for business...
the customer is king after all, so there...
... still I wasn't totally satisfied with my
looks, so I started a bit experimenting
around... what do you think, am I not
absolutely adorable as a Geisha*?...
"Sis..."
-----
In the background: DutchessAxel aka
CarrJoshua1991, wrote the
Apocalypse Legacy, the Apogaypto
and the Exit Apocalypse Challenge.
... or how do you like me as the 'Bad
Girl'? This could be something for your...
female employees, right? *snicker*
"Sis, I don't think..."
... or do you rather prefer - 'nice girls'?
But beware, the cutest kitties often have
the sharpest claws!
"..."
...oh, oh, oh, and what about the punk
dress? I looked absolutely cooool in it,
and...
"Little - Sister - Amaryllis! This - is -
an - apocalegacy, not some kind of
model show! "
" You're no fun, Bro..."
"... but okay, my current choice of
style won the competition anyway..."
"Finally..."
.. but now I had an even greater task
to achieve: to style up our
neighborhood!"
"Oh, no..."
Yes, it's true, all these poor, hopeless
townies with their boring clothes, their
boring haircuts and their boring make-up
came now to my little beautyshop for some
advice - and I gave it to them! In the end,
they left the shop as (almost) newborn
people, like...
...Brasimlian Samba Dancers!...
... Space Pirates!...
... Elven warlords!...
...Teen Angels!...
... not to forget the classic 'Dracula Style'
for the stylish vampire! A good choice,
Mr. 'Slob'* - or should I call you 'Mr.
Snob' now? ...
--------------
* the Slobs: Counterpart to Mr. Big
and the Diva: Belching, Farting, Poor -
you just have to love them!
...or what about this stylish greek-
lookalike-combination....you'll never
guess, this would be Miss 'Slob'...
... excluding some bad habits...Eeeeew!
" Sis, for the love of... this is
torture,not storytelling! Do you really
think, anybody actually wants to read
this?!
" And you're just like Mom: always
complaining! Come on, let me have
some fun!"
" ..Let me have some fun... you've just
forgot to tell, how much money you
made with your 'fun', after you set all
prices to 999 Simoleons..."
" Well, top quality, top prices, hehe..."
----
Current Victim: Michelle Fobbs,
writes the Planetary Apocalypse
"... and what did you think, when you
started selling religious fashion?... you
know, what Mom thinks about
religion..."
"Aw Come on, Alex, look at it that
way: Nobody is forced to buy
something, and all these poor Souls, in
search of a higher purpose for their
lives, leave at least as happy new
customers..."
"... and make me happy as well, by
raising my bank account... 100.000 is
not bad for a Teenager, right?"
" Fascinating, you said that without
even getting red."
" Alex, what's your problem? I'm
heiress, I can't escape my fate as the
bearer of the next generation; I'm a
Fortune Sim living in a vampocalyptic
world full of crazy, bad-clothed
people believing in crazy religions,
and I'm already destined to marry a
guy, who lived with us since I was a
baby! Can't you at least let me have
some freedom without making me
feel guilty?"
"...sorry..."
" Hey, it's okay, I've never considered
myself being a saint, lol...:"
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me,
I think, they're okay.
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away.
some boys romance, some boys slow dance
that's alright with me
If they can't raise my interest then I
Have them let to be
Some boys try and some boys lie
But I don't let them play
Only boys who save their simoleans
Make my rainy day, 'cause we are
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know we are living in a material
world
And I am a material girl
Boys may come and boys may go
And that's alright you see
Experience has made me rich
And now they're after me, cause
everybody's
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
-----
[free after] 'Material Girl' by Madonna
"... and now it's time for your dates,
Bro - hey, nice Tux....Unfortunately,
it'll have to go, your first partner has a
Turn-off for formal wear... oh, and she
is a totally talentless dork and adores
stink, but otherwise she's okay...now
go, and don't forget, she's one of our
best customers, so be 'nice' to her,
'kay? Have fun, Alex!"
"*groan*"
Date Report Alexandre Eden:
First Date - Jane Smith, Member of the
garden club, talentless dork:
" Ehrrr.... well, Miss, my Sister told me
you're a good customer here... I guess,
you like to go shopping...?"
Some dates later:
"... and how much did they sell to
you?"
" It wasn't really selling... everytime,
he opened his mouth, I just heard
bells and only could say 'I do'... *sigh*"
" Same here... he's such a Cutie, isn't
he? Too bad, that I don't even have the
money now for proper rose bouqets..."
Date Nr. 14 1/2 - Carla Klein, Rookie,
Triple-Bolt Compability (!):
"... perhaps I could sell some blood for
the roses next time... or donate a
kidney..."
Date 19: Alva Klimm, Medical Assistant:
"... and this one extra for helping our
illegal clinic out!"
Date 26 - Cadence Summer, Police Squad
Leader:
" I guess, I should report this guy and
his organ seller ring... then again, I
could not date him anymore...
decisions, decisions..."
Date Nr. 29 - Jennifer Martinez,
Smuggler (pulled some strings for
promotions later!):
" ...And they sell their Blood and
Organs to go out with you?"
"... I *DON'T* want them to!!! I never
said they should!! I didn't even ask
them to buy something!! They just say
'I do' , then grab something and that's
it! Can you even imagine, how
horrible I feel?!"
"... I do."
" Sis, I can't do this anymore!"
" Why so upset, Alex? Thanks to you,
we earned another 100.000 and..."
" That's something we have to talk
about, Sis: You - cannot - sell - these -
women - something - while - I'm -
dating - them!!!"
" Hey, I just ask them
occasionally: 'Do you want to buy
this?', that's all *grin* ... by the way,
your next date is already waiting for
you..."
" Sis, I told you, I don't want to.... "
" Come on, Bro, this is the last one, I
promise!"
"... fine, I guess one more won't hurt
anymoooo...OH MY...!!!!!!"
Date 30, Sarah Morgan, unoccupied
elder...
" I'm soo making her pay for this, I..."
"What? Please speak louder, I can't
hear you..."
" Nothing, Nothing... now please hold
still, while I at least try to adjust your
looks a bit, you old b..."
" WHAT?!"
"... but this one you could hear,
right...?"
A little makeover later:
"Oh, my... I look and feel like 20 years
younger now!"
" I... have to say, I'm impressed
myself... for an elder, you look now
really... well..."
" Sooo, you don't think I look anymore
like an old... what was the word?"
"... I'm sorry?"
"Hmm, I think you owe me something
more than an apology for this..."
Some dream dates later:
"... *smooch*... please, Sarah, that's
enough... I'm already late for work....
*smooch*"
" Aww, Alex... just one more time...
remember, medicine restriction
doesn't count for elders...*smooch* "
" ... Blackmail!... You know, I'm
supposed to be the criminal here, not
the other way round... but okay...
*smooch*..."
[ Insert obvious noises and words here
°o° ]
A bit later
"Alex, we need to talk."
"Dad, I swear, I didn't want to..."
" Alex, I know, it's necessary for our...
'job' to keep your aspiration and
motives and skills and friendships
up..."
"... after all, me and your mom are just
doing the same... we just had our
250th dream date...*sigh*"
"...and of course, everyone in the
household is already used to all these
roses on the street..."
"... but could you please tell your
partners to stop blocking the street
with this unusable junk?! This is a
legacy house, not a trashcan!!!"
" Uh, Hello? It's me, Sophie! I just
wanted to deliver another date
reward for Alex for the time when we
were an item, though I'm with
Antoine now... I mean, I'm trapped
here and need heeeelp!!"
... Yes, as you can see, while Alex had a
great time, his date rewards became an
annoying problem... all these rewards,
blocking up space and being unusable due
to the lack of water, electricity and
clouded skies *cough*restrictions*cough*,
not to forget about paying protection
money for them...but luckily, my
calculations were right, and our sales
more than covered our losses...
... while Alex finally made it to the top...
and became famous under the Name
'Mickey Blue Eyes'... :]
"... really funny... here is another one:
I've just found out, that I'm supposed
to be the head of an Organ seller
ring... and a money laundering
syndicate, widely known as 'Fashion
& more' ... oh, and a 'flower' cartel,
specialized in opium and... rose
plantation... which is strange, since I
don't remember doing anything of
this, I just dated... anything you have
to tell me, Sis?"
"Ehrrr... well... I... okay, okay, you've
won, I admit, it was..."
"...Dad's idea!"
"WHAT?!"
"Don't tell me, you thought it was
me!? After all, it's Dad's secret wish to
become a criminal mastermind, not
mine!"
"But... but why...?"
" Well, first to help you to get
promoted... and then it was the best
way to cover *his* actions by making
anyone think, you were the leading
force, while you were only dating..."
"... I... don't know what to say... I
think, I need to lay down a bit..."
... and with fulfilling his lifetime want,
Dad and Alex achieved legendary status
as 'the Blues Brothers'... :))
" Hey, Hey, look who's there... it's Big
Bro, the Master of the underworld...
*snicker* ... "
"Don't tell me, you knew that with
Dad, too..."
" It wasn't so difficult to figure it out,
Mr. 'Date-a-Lot'... or do you prefer
'Looking-for-Creator-but-too-blind-to-
see-the-obvious-trickery-around-him-
Super-Researcher'?"
" YOU... *ahem, guess what the
difference between us is, Antoine?"
" That I've maxed my Body skill and
you don't? "
" No. 'I' have lifted a restriction and
am now free to do, whatever I want,
while you..."
" Sorry, Alex, Knowledge Sim, Love to
skill, no dates needed!"
"... to quote Mom: 'I hate you'..."
and with that, the crime restriction was
finally lifted...I have to confess, I'm happy
for my Brother, because I know, that Alex
is rather a good guy, and being a
criminal... but don't worry, he'll
eventually get over this... this being said, I
now like to tell you one more thing, about
what happened at the night before my
birthday...
'Twas the night before my birthday, when
all through the shop
Not a creature was stirring, not even a
dog
the clothings were hung by the racks with
care
in hopes that customers soon would be
there;
When out on the sidewalk there arose such
a clatter,
I sprung from the bubble blower to see
what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters and threw up the
sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should
appear,
but a woman, glowing like a lightbulb,
walked into my lair
------------
Rubbersushi, writes the Apocalypse
AC -
----------
Comment from the author: apologies
to anyone, who feels offended in
his/her religious beliefs by the
following - the author still prefers to
eat his cheese instead believing in it...
More rapid than eagles, to me she did
came
And she wistled and shouted and called
me by name:
" Greetings, Amaryllis, don't be afraid of
me,
because I am the grilled cheese deity!"
She was dressed all in cheesy colors, from
her head to her foot,
and her clothes were all smelling like...
well, not very good...
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to
dread.
So I finally exclaimed, not without some
despite:
"Would you please be so kind and turn
out your damn wonder-light?! - Some of
my customers are vampires, you know!!"
-----
free after Clement Clarke Moore's
'Twas the night before christmas' ;)
- BZZZT! -
"Better?"
"Much better, thanks... hey, the smell's
gone, too!"
"Aromalight."
"Ooookaaay..."
" So, my dear heiress, have you ever
heard of the word of Don?"
" The what of who?"
" She means this Zombie Guy with the
grilled cheese aspiration, who
switched to Chili after eating too
much of them, Sis..."
" Bro, get out, you had your part of the
story..."
" Well, I didn't place the mirrors in
this room..."
" Not to sound rude, but could you
both please stop your brother-sister-
quarrel for a minute? I'm a deity, after
all..."
" So now hear the story how I, in my
infinite wisdom, created
everything...*ahem* In the beginning
me created cheese and sandwich...' "
" Oh please, this joke gets old... I've
already heard everything, from 'In the
beginning, there were no diapers' to
'In the beginning was the flying
spaghetti monster'..."
"... you're really not the religious type,
aren't you?"
" Sorry, but the only higher being my
Mom ever talked about was my
Grandmother's Boss... and that
he/she/it fired her... "
"... and you're not afraid, what waits
for you, if you 'don't' believe in me...?..
a hint: it's a fiery pit of..."
"...melted cheese, right? To quote
Mom again: 'Either god is good, than
he isn't almighty, because bad things
won't happen, free will turned on or
not... or he is almighty, then he isn't
good and gives a crap about what I
think... in both cases, why should I
believe...?' "
" But I AM good AND almighty...
minus the fiery pit, I mean..."
"Well, if you are almighty, how
comes, that the other religion has the
better bullies, hm?"
"What do you mean...?"
"Remember the little fight at the
temple of apocalyptical tridiot... I
mean 'trinity' in the last chapter*?
Well, the potty-god follower won!"
-----
*watch the apocalyptical battle of
religions in chapter 5.1. 'Deities and
Demigods'...
"..."
"Uh, hello?"
"..."
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad,
everyone can have a bad day now and
then..."
"Hmmm, so this ugly Alien really tries
to take over this neighborhood...?
Well, if you want a 'battle', Uranium,
you can have it..."
" So listen, little Heiress..."
" I'm turning adult tomorrow!"
" Whatever... So ' Amaryllis ', Have
you ever heard of a vile Alien
named... 'Uranium'?"
"Well, my brother mentioned
something about her, and that she had
something to do with creators
missing... I didn't really pay attention
to it, this whole 'creator side story'
isn't really..."
" Okay, so you haven't heard of her...
but I guess, you haven't heard that she
isn't alone, because someone...
accompanies her..."
" Oh, that she and the Count had
joined forces was already told, that's
old News..."
" No, not her... someone else... the one
that actually captured your...
'precious' stringpuller..."
" Someone... okay, that's new... so,
who is it? And where did he drag
'Scuba Guy' ?"
" The one who... accompanies her... is
like a shadow, a black knight in the
game of the gods, a mere pawn, but
still..."
"Could you by any means be a bit less
cryptical about that?"
" Will you join my church then?"
" Aaah,that's how it goes..."
"Sooo...?"
" Aww, come on, tell me... at least
where he took Helmet Guy... hey, how
about I lower the costs for your
follower's robes by... 10%?"
" You...How dare you to corrupt a
deity with your... your...!"
" 20 %?"
"..."
"...21?"
" ... did you ever realize, that most of
your thoughts center around money?"
" Not true, I have a lot of other
interests: Fashion, Boyfriends... ehm..."
"... and boyfriends equals date gifts,
and fashion sales, right?"
"..."
"Aha... see, that's the problem with
most of you Non-believers, critizing
religions, but nothing else left to
believe in except money..."
" Awww, you poor misguided soul...
don't worry, little heiress, there will be
always a place in my church, you just
have to follow your heart..."
" Haaargh...rather...my nose...
must...breath... scent is...
unbearable..."
"... so good bye for now, Amaryllis...
and don't forget, stay aware of the
shadow of the alien..."
" 25 % ! My last offer! "
"... grow up, kid."
- BZZZzzZzZzZzZzzz. -
"Damn, seems like I have to change
the batteries again..."
... and with that, I was left with a lotsa
questions like: where was creator ? Who
was this guy that captured him? And
perhaps Grilled Cheese Deity was right
one about thing: I really think a bit too
much about money... hm,, perhaps I
should lower some of the prices for... nah,
I'll save that for later... right now, I guess
I follow at least one of her advices...
"... growing UP! WEEEEEEEEEEEH...
see you next time!!!"
Epilogue I:
- At the Counts Castle, Bedroom -
"... so, you know, what you have to
do...? ... No, I don't trust you, not at
all...and if you screw this up..."
" Uranium, darling... who're you
talking to..?... please, come back...
*hint*hint*"
"Sorry, honey... business talk... now,
where were we...?"
- somewhere else, location unkno... -
" THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! "
- Hey, how should I've known...? -
" HOW SHOULD I'VE KNOWN?
'Let's make a Legacy', he said, 'It will
be fun, he said' , 'You know, we
should invite some Simselfs' , he said,
'Let's download Uranium', he said...
and there you're $§%& telling me,
'How should I've known?' ?! To let
you know, I'm so near to crash your
helmet and..."
" Hey, could you both tone it down a
bit? I'm trying to figure a way out of
this mess..."
"...and could somebody please silence
this guy? He's making me..."
" ... we will all die... why, oh, why did
this happen to me.. why...?"
" Oh, shut it, you damn..."
" OKAY, that's it, all of you... for the
last time... "
" LEAVE - ME - ALONE! "
" This will be a bit difficult... we're all
you, after all..."
" I DON'T CARE! I don't want to see
you anymore, you stupid POTC³-
Halluzinations...GET OUT!"
" OKay, okay, but don't tell us later,
you're lonely..."
- Weird Guy... talking with
hallucinations of himself... and what is
POTC³ ? -
" 'Pirates of the Carribean 3', you
Moron... now move, there are some
legacies waiting for us to be raided..."
" Can we stop by the supermarket
first...? ... I got hungry in this...
whatever it was..."
"... finally they're... well, now let's try
to figure out how to escape from this
place..."
- It seems, that I didn't made myself
clear: GO - AWAY! -
" What the...?!"
- For the last time: I may be trapped
here, but the last thing I need, is
getting insane and seeing
hallucinations! -
" HEY, who's the Hallucination here?
I'M the real one, you're the
hallucination! "
- Oh, Reaally... to make this clear, I'm
the real one, comprende?! -
" No, I am the real one!"
- No, I am! -
" NO, I ! "
- NO, I ! -
" NO, I...."
to be continued...
- Epilogue II:
This chapter was generously hosted
by the Jaquet Family at Bluewater
Village -
"Thanks everyone for reading!"
"AUUUGH, it's burning, it's... MOM!
What the... are you wearing?"
"Like it? This girl has a fantastic
shop... If that doesn't get me a new
guy, nothing will... I'm in the
Bluewater Phone book, so don't forget
to call me, sweeties!"
--------
Instead of phoning... rather go to
www.boolprop.com and read about
(other?) great legacies!

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Far away from Eden Ep.5.2.: Business as usual?

  • 1. Far away from Eden Ep.5.2.: Business as usual? Ep. 5.2. of my Apocalegacy: Overworked and Writers Block - Read and rate anyway - pretty please? Family Name: Jaquet Lot Name: 223 Idlewild Street Categories:Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Satire
  • 2. Hi there, Liz Here! - Well, actually it's Amaryl-'Lis', but I like 'Liz' better, so just call me Liz, 'kay? - Anyway, welcome back to next part of this Vampogacy, where my family struggles through an unfriendly takeover from the vampires of our neighborhood etcetera... - Question: does anyone still know, who is on which side? For me, they look all alike - boring townie clothes and haircuts and no personality at all. Well, fear no more, Heiress Liz will save the day, lol!
  • 3. Sooo, what do you say to my new dress and haircut? Yes, we've updated our Custom Content, with wonderful meshes, haircuts etc. from XMSims, PeggySims, NoukiSims2, RoseSims2, MTS2 - all credits to the wonderful designers! Stats for my current Clothing: Haircut is from Nouk, Dress from Maxoidmonkey, Makeup from the Exchange - I love it!
  • 4. And now to something completely different: Ladies, meet Alex, my bigger brother - this handsome Hunk with his gentle behaviour and good manners and a promising career in the Redistribution Business, *cough*Criminal*cough* is still available for a steady relationship with a fine, distinguished woman, so if you're interested to meet him, just give me a call, and I'll set you up for a Date! "What the... are you doing there, Sis?!" "Trying to help my dear Brother to find the Love of his life?" "Sis, as much as I appreciate your concern, but I don't think..." "Hey, if you're going to sell a product, advertising is the first step. Oh, and make sure, that they bring in enough cash, so they can buy..." " SIS! " "OK,OK, what can I say? I'm Fortune, after all..."
  • 5. "... like Dad, though I'm not totally sure, if that is really true. I mean, Fortune Sims are supposed to lust after money, but Dad only lusts after Mom... and a jukebox, period. And Mom - well, I guess, you all know Mom already: Founder, College Overachiever, Mother of three kids, possible oldest living Being on Earth... - if you ask me: she takes herself waaaaayyyyy too important...." "Young Lady, I think, we need to work a bit on your manners..." "Aw, Mom, you were the first rebellious teenager on Earth after all, how'd you thought I would turn out?"
  • 6. "...21?" " Annnd that's a good way to introduce my future Hubby Ben Long... you know, he looks actually sexy in his new custom uniform - thanks to matthewterra from the exchange - and excluding his facial extremities..." " 21,21,21,21,21...." " Aw, sorry Honey, I forgot... He doesn't like to be reminded of this... oh, and don't pay attention to his little numerological obsession either, I hope, he snaps out of it, once I turn..." "...21?" "Yes Benny, now go and do some skilling, darling. I know how much you love skilling, my little..."
  • 7. " *Snort*... my little ..., tell you what, Sis, you should sell this freak and get a new one, though I doubt, anyone would take him, even for free..." " Oh, be quiet, Lil'Bro... and could you please stop posing like this in front of the camera, it's disgusting!" " As if anyone in this household would care! You're all making out in front of it 24/7! I'm the only one, who does at least some regular skilling..." "My brother Antoine, the mean Knowledge Sim... yes, the one, who took over my older brothers teenage girlfriend..." "And why not? I need to keep my motives up for skilling, and why should I waste time looking for another bi..."
  • 8. *SPLAT* "AUUUGH! UNFAIR!" " *Snicker*, serves you right, Bro. Hey, Superdewk, throw another one, and you'll get 25% off on all prices at my place! " " You....CAPITALIST! " " RED THREAT!" " SOULSELLER! " "METALLIC FREAK!" "ANTOINE!!! AMARYLLIS!!!" "Aw, Mom..."
  • 9. *purr*purrrrrr* [translation: foolish, freaky humans... you just have to love them....]
  • 10. ... Dear readers, at this point, I think it's time for me to interrupt. To prevent any misunderstandings: Amaryllis and my little Brother Antoine aren't Enemies... well, not usually... they just like to tease each other a lot... "Hey, Alex, that's mean, it's my turn this chapter! Mom, tell him, that I'm the one telling the story this time!" "Mom, I still have to write down what I found out about who's behind creators's missing and..." "Yeah, yeah, whatever...as if anyone would miss him... But since I'm still going to have a little chat with your sister about foul words and disrespect, you might as well continue, my son..." "Aw,Mom..." "And that's another thing, I don't want to hear anymore, young Lady..." .... well, anyway...let's see what I found out so far...
  • 11. ... it was a dark and stormy night... Ice and snow hold the neighborhood in it's iron grip... when in a mysterious, unknown castle (by cokebuilder at mts2) at the Outskirts of the neighborhood, surrounded by high walls and deep waters, guarded by angry spirits and invisible flying ninja monkeys... ehr, I mean... well, when screams, full of despair and betrayal, echoed through the dark corridors...
  • 13. "OH, FRAMMIT, Count! How long will you continue with this... this..." "But my love... my beautiful Anais...*sob*" "For the last time: Forget this greenskinned Freak! We might have lost the first battle, but the war has just started, so get a grip of yourself already!"
  • 15. " SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! I KNEW IT! THIS WHOLE THING WAS JUST ONE OF YOUR STUPID IDEAS AGAIN TO IMPRESS A GIRL!" "She *SOB*... she wasn't just 'a girl'... *sniffle*... she was the... Love of my life..." "Yeah, just like the other 3 dozen Chicks before her...!" "THIS *WHIMPER*... WAS DIFFERENT!" "Right, the last times you stopped being an idiot BEFORE you drove us in the..."
  • 17. "Oh, great, the doorbell... again... this isn't a castle, it's a game walkthrough... I told you, invisible monkeys are NOT a sufficient... oh forget it..."
  • 18. "Hrrm...good evening and just in case, if you're a newlywed couple with a broken car, this is NOT the castle full of homosexual transvestites, that's the next one down the road, so would you please..."
  • 20. "A good evening to you, too... I assume then, this is the Counts Castle... the one with the vampire army *evil*, I mean?"
  • 21. " *Urrgh*... this face, this face... I think I'm going to... must be my last lunch from threehundred years before... *Hullp* "
  • 22. " Grmmbl..., Just to your information: you're not my type either, Miss Cheekypuffs! *Glare*"
  • 23. " *Groan* What's the matter, Countess, why did you scream...?... By the way: I was just about to commit suicide, but I can't find the scissors, have you seen them anywh...?"
  • 24. ".. What the...?" " :.. This Face, This..."
  • 25. "... Arrowr... now that's something... Countess, may you introduce me to this... georgous, beautiful creature, please?"
  • 26. " To this... WHAT? Have you finally lost your marbles? I've seen squashed toads that looked..."
  • 27. " Hush...!... Ehem, Forgive my dear friend, the Countess, for her totally lack of acknowleding true beauty, Miss....?" "Uranium." "Aaaah, Uranium... what a wonderful name... it totally matches the graciousness of your Body and Soul, my dear visitor... now, may I ask you the cause of your visit?"
  • 28. "You!" "...ehr, me? Well, I feel honored, but why...?" "To get over with this fluffy talk: 'YOU' have an army, 'I' want an army, 'YOU're already drooling over me and 'I' want Woohoo! So, deal or no deal?" "...21?"
  • 29. " ... I assume, you mean 'yes'... well,then... B**B ATTACK!" *UMPS*
  • 30. "Ehehehehe... Oh Uranium, dream of my countless - not COUNT-less - years of my undead existence, I've never meet such... such....will you be my eternal bri...?" "Yes, and I've read chapter 1 of this story already, so you don't need to repeat yourself... now hurry up to the bedroom, presto!"
  • 31. "Ah, your wish is my command, my love... command, and I will lay down the world to your feet..." "Ah, good...but I think, for starters, there is something else that needs to get laid first, hehehe..."
  • 32. "... can somebody please pinch me? This must be a nightmare, it just HAS to be..."
  • 33. "OKAY, THAT'S IT! DO YOU HEAR ME COUNT??!! THIS WAS THE LAST STRAW! DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH THIS TOAD SQUISHEE, BUT I'M OUT OF THIS! NOW I'll FOLLOW MY OWN PLANS, AND THERE IS NO WAY... " ... And that was the last time someone heard from the Countess... No one knows what happened further in this night, all we know is, that the Count has now a new Companion, an evil being named... "Okay, you had your turn, now I'm telling the story again!" "But Sis, I haven't finished yet and..." "MINEMINEMINEMINE!" "Alright, alright... your wish is my command..." "Really Funny..."
  • 34. " Alex, you should stop teasing your sister..." " Dad, she started it! She even wanted to set me up for Dates ! And after all, I don't have time for this, I still need some creativity points for later promotions..." " Alex, she' s your younger sister... and about Dates: your Mom didn't do anything at college except dating me... *sigh* ..., so why bother with skilling by writing novels?" " ...Okay, but I'll look for date partners myself, is that clear?!" " That's my son... hmm, could you look after your door, it's somehow windy in here..." " Hey you, could you at least give me a hint, that you don't need a carpool? I'm not driving through Ice, snow and evil vampires just to see both your...!"
  • 35. " Okay, I'm back in action, so let's see, how I 'upgraded' the common fashion sense in the neighborhood *giggle* ! First, I think I'm gonna tell you, how 'I' adjusted my own Looks..." " And that's more important than what I found out about...?" " Alex: MY! STORY! And you should better prepare yourself for your dates! A lot of women have already responded to my announcement at the beginning, so better style up a bit..." "WHAT?!" Ehem, as I said, I adjusted my looks - not that I'm not already irresistable, even with this stupid 'Marsha B.'-Haircut...
  • 36. ... but hey, if even a... 'Dude*' tells me, that I could use a bit makeup to spice up the attraction... " I just can't believe, that you just set me up for dates without even asking if..." " Aw, come on, Alex, drop it, 'kay? I promise, I've already selected out the 'Good Ones', no Uglacy material or any murderous Simselfs!" " ... *groan* why me....?!" ------------------- *DonDude - writes the Insomnia Apocalypse
  • 37. "... Pfft, brothers..." okay, as I said, I needed to upgrade my looks, so I went and tried out some of the new custom content...
  • 38. "... and 'Dude' totally fell for it... well, Big Bro might have reservations about Simselfs, but I'm not so picky... "
  • 39. ... especially not, if it's good for business... the customer is king after all, so there...
  • 40. ... still I wasn't totally satisfied with my looks, so I started a bit experimenting around... what do you think, am I not absolutely adorable as a Geisha*?... "Sis..." ----- In the background: DutchessAxel aka CarrJoshua1991, wrote the Apocalypse Legacy, the Apogaypto and the Exit Apocalypse Challenge.
  • 41. ... or how do you like me as the 'Bad Girl'? This could be something for your... female employees, right? *snicker* "Sis, I don't think..."
  • 42. ... or do you rather prefer - 'nice girls'? But beware, the cutest kitties often have the sharpest claws! "..."
  • 43. ...oh, oh, oh, and what about the punk dress? I looked absolutely cooool in it, and... "Little - Sister - Amaryllis! This - is - an - apocalegacy, not some kind of model show! " " You're no fun, Bro..."
  • 44. "... but okay, my current choice of style won the competition anyway..." "Finally..."
  • 45. .. but now I had an even greater task to achieve: to style up our neighborhood!" "Oh, no..." Yes, it's true, all these poor, hopeless townies with their boring clothes, their boring haircuts and their boring make-up came now to my little beautyshop for some advice - and I gave it to them! In the end, they left the shop as (almost) newborn people, like...
  • 50. ... not to forget the classic 'Dracula Style' for the stylish vampire! A good choice, Mr. 'Slob'* - or should I call you 'Mr. Snob' now? ... -------------- * the Slobs: Counterpart to Mr. Big and the Diva: Belching, Farting, Poor - you just have to love them!
  • 51. ...or what about this stylish greek- lookalike-combination....you'll never guess, this would be Miss 'Slob'...
  • 52. ... excluding some bad habits...Eeeeew! " Sis, for the love of... this is torture,not storytelling! Do you really think, anybody actually wants to read this?! " And you're just like Mom: always complaining! Come on, let me have some fun!"
  • 53. " ..Let me have some fun... you've just forgot to tell, how much money you made with your 'fun', after you set all prices to 999 Simoleons..." " Well, top quality, top prices, hehe..." ---- Current Victim: Michelle Fobbs, writes the Planetary Apocalypse
  • 54. "... and what did you think, when you started selling religious fashion?... you know, what Mom thinks about religion..." "Aw Come on, Alex, look at it that way: Nobody is forced to buy something, and all these poor Souls, in search of a higher purpose for their lives, leave at least as happy new customers..."
  • 55. "... and make me happy as well, by raising my bank account... 100.000 is not bad for a Teenager, right?" " Fascinating, you said that without even getting red." " Alex, what's your problem? I'm heiress, I can't escape my fate as the bearer of the next generation; I'm a Fortune Sim living in a vampocalyptic world full of crazy, bad-clothed people believing in crazy religions, and I'm already destined to marry a guy, who lived with us since I was a baby! Can't you at least let me have some freedom without making me feel guilty?" "...sorry..."
  • 56. " Hey, it's okay, I've never considered myself being a saint, lol...:" Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think, they're okay. If they don't give me proper credit I just walk away.
  • 57. some boys romance, some boys slow dance that's alright with me If they can't raise my interest then I Have them let to be
  • 58. Some boys try and some boys lie But I don't let them play Only boys who save their simoleans Make my rainy day, 'cause we are
  • 59. Living in a material world And I am a material girl You know we are living in a material world And I am a material girl
  • 60. Boys may come and boys may go And that's alright you see Experience has made me rich And now they're after me, cause everybody's Living in a material world And I am a material girl Living in a material world And I am a material girl ----- [free after] 'Material Girl' by Madonna
  • 61. "... and now it's time for your dates, Bro - hey, nice Tux....Unfortunately, it'll have to go, your first partner has a Turn-off for formal wear... oh, and she is a totally talentless dork and adores stink, but otherwise she's okay...now go, and don't forget, she's one of our best customers, so be 'nice' to her, 'kay? Have fun, Alex!" "*groan*"
  • 62. Date Report Alexandre Eden: First Date - Jane Smith, Member of the garden club, talentless dork: " Ehrrr.... well, Miss, my Sister told me you're a good customer here... I guess, you like to go shopping...?"
  • 63. Some dates later: "... and how much did they sell to you?" " It wasn't really selling... everytime, he opened his mouth, I just heard bells and only could say 'I do'... *sigh*" " Same here... he's such a Cutie, isn't he? Too bad, that I don't even have the money now for proper rose bouqets..."
  • 64. Date Nr. 14 1/2 - Carla Klein, Rookie, Triple-Bolt Compability (!): "... perhaps I could sell some blood for the roses next time... or donate a kidney..."
  • 65. Date 19: Alva Klimm, Medical Assistant: "... and this one extra for helping our illegal clinic out!"
  • 66. Date 26 - Cadence Summer, Police Squad Leader: " I guess, I should report this guy and his organ seller ring... then again, I could not date him anymore... decisions, decisions..."
  • 67. Date Nr. 29 - Jennifer Martinez, Smuggler (pulled some strings for promotions later!): " ...And they sell their Blood and Organs to go out with you?" "... I *DON'T* want them to!!! I never said they should!! I didn't even ask them to buy something!! They just say 'I do' , then grab something and that's it! Can you even imagine, how horrible I feel?!" "... I do."
  • 68. " Sis, I can't do this anymore!" " Why so upset, Alex? Thanks to you, we earned another 100.000 and..." " That's something we have to talk about, Sis: You - cannot - sell - these - women - something - while - I'm - dating - them!!!" " Hey, I just ask them occasionally: 'Do you want to buy this?', that's all *grin* ... by the way, your next date is already waiting for you..." " Sis, I told you, I don't want to.... " " Come on, Bro, this is the last one, I promise!" "... fine, I guess one more won't hurt anymoooo...OH MY...!!!!!!"
  • 69. Date 30, Sarah Morgan, unoccupied elder... " I'm soo making her pay for this, I..." "What? Please speak louder, I can't hear you..." " Nothing, Nothing... now please hold still, while I at least try to adjust your looks a bit, you old b..." " WHAT?!" "... but this one you could hear, right...?"
  • 70. A little makeover later: "Oh, my... I look and feel like 20 years younger now!" " I... have to say, I'm impressed myself... for an elder, you look now really... well..." " Sooo, you don't think I look anymore like an old... what was the word?" "... I'm sorry?" "Hmm, I think you owe me something more than an apology for this..."
  • 71. Some dream dates later: "... *smooch*... please, Sarah, that's enough... I'm already late for work.... *smooch*" " Aww, Alex... just one more time... remember, medicine restriction doesn't count for elders...*smooch* " " ... Blackmail!... You know, I'm supposed to be the criminal here, not the other way round... but okay... *smooch*..."
  • 72. [ Insert obvious noises and words here °o° ]
  • 73. A bit later "Alex, we need to talk." "Dad, I swear, I didn't want to..." " Alex, I know, it's necessary for our... 'job' to keep your aspiration and motives and skills and friendships up..."
  • 74. "... after all, me and your mom are just doing the same... we just had our 250th dream date...*sigh*"
  • 75. "...and of course, everyone in the household is already used to all these roses on the street..."
  • 76. "... but could you please tell your partners to stop blocking the street with this unusable junk?! This is a legacy house, not a trashcan!!!"
  • 77. " Uh, Hello? It's me, Sophie! I just wanted to deliver another date reward for Alex for the time when we were an item, though I'm with Antoine now... I mean, I'm trapped here and need heeeelp!!"
  • 78. ... Yes, as you can see, while Alex had a great time, his date rewards became an annoying problem... all these rewards, blocking up space and being unusable due to the lack of water, electricity and clouded skies *cough*restrictions*cough*, not to forget about paying protection money for them...but luckily, my calculations were right, and our sales more than covered our losses...
  • 79. ... while Alex finally made it to the top... and became famous under the Name 'Mickey Blue Eyes'... :] "... really funny... here is another one: I've just found out, that I'm supposed to be the head of an Organ seller ring... and a money laundering syndicate, widely known as 'Fashion & more' ... oh, and a 'flower' cartel, specialized in opium and... rose plantation... which is strange, since I don't remember doing anything of this, I just dated... anything you have to tell me, Sis?" "Ehrrr... well... I... okay, okay, you've won, I admit, it was..."
  • 80. "...Dad's idea!" "WHAT?!" "Don't tell me, you thought it was me!? After all, it's Dad's secret wish to become a criminal mastermind, not mine!" "But... but why...?" " Well, first to help you to get promoted... and then it was the best way to cover *his* actions by making anyone think, you were the leading force, while you were only dating..." "... I... don't know what to say... I think, I need to lay down a bit..." ... and with fulfilling his lifetime want, Dad and Alex achieved legendary status as 'the Blues Brothers'... :))
  • 81. " Hey, Hey, look who's there... it's Big Bro, the Master of the underworld... *snicker* ... " "Don't tell me, you knew that with Dad, too..." " It wasn't so difficult to figure it out, Mr. 'Date-a-Lot'... or do you prefer 'Looking-for-Creator-but-too-blind-to- see-the-obvious-trickery-around-him- Super-Researcher'?" " YOU... *ahem, guess what the difference between us is, Antoine?" " That I've maxed my Body skill and you don't? " " No. 'I' have lifted a restriction and am now free to do, whatever I want, while you..." " Sorry, Alex, Knowledge Sim, Love to skill, no dates needed!" "... to quote Mom: 'I hate you'..."
  • 82. and with that, the crime restriction was finally lifted...I have to confess, I'm happy for my Brother, because I know, that Alex is rather a good guy, and being a criminal... but don't worry, he'll eventually get over this... this being said, I now like to tell you one more thing, about what happened at the night before my birthday...
  • 83. 'Twas the night before my birthday, when all through the shop Not a creature was stirring, not even a dog the clothings were hung by the racks with care in hopes that customers soon would be there;
  • 84. When out on the sidewalk there arose such a clatter, I sprung from the bubble blower to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a woman, glowing like a lightbulb, walked into my lair ------------ Rubbersushi, writes the Apocalypse AC - ---------- Comment from the author: apologies to anyone, who feels offended in his/her religious beliefs by the following - the author still prefers to eat his cheese instead believing in it...
  • 85. More rapid than eagles, to me she did came And she wistled and shouted and called me by name: " Greetings, Amaryllis, don't be afraid of me, because I am the grilled cheese deity!"
  • 86. She was dressed all in cheesy colors, from her head to her foot, and her clothes were all smelling like... well, not very good... A wink of her eye and a twist of her head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. So I finally exclaimed, not without some despite: "Would you please be so kind and turn out your damn wonder-light?! - Some of my customers are vampires, you know!!" ----- free after Clement Clarke Moore's 'Twas the night before christmas' ;)
  • 87. - BZZZT! - "Better?" "Much better, thanks... hey, the smell's gone, too!" "Aromalight." "Ooookaaay..."
  • 88. " So, my dear heiress, have you ever heard of the word of Don?" " The what of who?" " She means this Zombie Guy with the grilled cheese aspiration, who switched to Chili after eating too much of them, Sis..." " Bro, get out, you had your part of the story..." " Well, I didn't place the mirrors in this room..." " Not to sound rude, but could you both please stop your brother-sister- quarrel for a minute? I'm a deity, after all..."
  • 89. " So now hear the story how I, in my infinite wisdom, created everything...*ahem* In the beginning me created cheese and sandwich...' " " Oh please, this joke gets old... I've already heard everything, from 'In the beginning, there were no diapers' to 'In the beginning was the flying spaghetti monster'..."
  • 90. "... you're really not the religious type, aren't you?" " Sorry, but the only higher being my Mom ever talked about was my Grandmother's Boss... and that he/she/it fired her... " "... and you're not afraid, what waits for you, if you 'don't' believe in me...?.. a hint: it's a fiery pit of..." "...melted cheese, right? To quote Mom again: 'Either god is good, than he isn't almighty, because bad things won't happen, free will turned on or not... or he is almighty, then he isn't good and gives a crap about what I think... in both cases, why should I believe...?' "
  • 91. " But I AM good AND almighty... minus the fiery pit, I mean..." "Well, if you are almighty, how comes, that the other religion has the better bullies, hm?" "What do you mean...?"
  • 92. "Remember the little fight at the temple of apocalyptical tridiot... I mean 'trinity' in the last chapter*? Well, the potty-god follower won!" ----- *watch the apocalyptical battle of religions in chapter 5.1. 'Deities and Demigods'...
  • 93. "..." "Uh, hello?" "..." "Oh, come on, it's not that bad, everyone can have a bad day now and then..."
  • 94. "Hmmm, so this ugly Alien really tries to take over this neighborhood...? Well, if you want a 'battle', Uranium, you can have it..."
  • 95. " So listen, little Heiress..." " I'm turning adult tomorrow!" " Whatever... So ' Amaryllis ', Have you ever heard of a vile Alien named... 'Uranium'?" "Well, my brother mentioned something about her, and that she had something to do with creators missing... I didn't really pay attention to it, this whole 'creator side story' isn't really..."
  • 96. " Okay, so you haven't heard of her... but I guess, you haven't heard that she isn't alone, because someone... accompanies her..." " Oh, that she and the Count had joined forces was already told, that's old News..."
  • 97. " No, not her... someone else... the one that actually captured your... 'precious' stringpuller..."
  • 98. " Someone... okay, that's new... so, who is it? And where did he drag 'Scuba Guy' ?"
  • 99. " The one who... accompanies her... is like a shadow, a black knight in the game of the gods, a mere pawn, but still..." "Could you by any means be a bit less cryptical about that?" " Will you join my church then?"
  • 100. " Aaah,that's how it goes..." "Sooo...?" " Aww, come on, tell me... at least where he took Helmet Guy... hey, how about I lower the costs for your follower's robes by... 10%?" " You...How dare you to corrupt a deity with your... your...!" " 20 %?" "..."
  • 101. "...21?" " ... did you ever realize, that most of your thoughts center around money?" " Not true, I have a lot of other interests: Fashion, Boyfriends... ehm..." "... and boyfriends equals date gifts, and fashion sales, right?" "..." "Aha... see, that's the problem with most of you Non-believers, critizing religions, but nothing else left to believe in except money..."
  • 102. " Awww, you poor misguided soul... don't worry, little heiress, there will be always a place in my church, you just have to follow your heart..." " Haaargh...rather...my nose... must...breath... scent is... unbearable..."
  • 103. "... so good bye for now, Amaryllis... and don't forget, stay aware of the shadow of the alien..." " 25 % ! My last offer! " "... grow up, kid."
  • 104. - BZZZzzZzZzZzZzzz. - "Damn, seems like I have to change the batteries again..."
  • 105. ... and with that, I was left with a lotsa questions like: where was creator ? Who was this guy that captured him? And perhaps Grilled Cheese Deity was right one about thing: I really think a bit too much about money... hm,, perhaps I should lower some of the prices for... nah, I'll save that for later... right now, I guess I follow at least one of her advices...
  • 106. "... growing UP! WEEEEEEEEEEEH... see you next time!!!"
  • 107. Epilogue I: - At the Counts Castle, Bedroom - "... so, you know, what you have to do...? ... No, I don't trust you, not at all...and if you screw this up..." " Uranium, darling... who're you talking to..?... please, come back... *hint*hint*" "Sorry, honey... business talk... now, where were we...?"
  • 108. - somewhere else, location unkno... - " THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! "
  • 109. - Hey, how should I've known...? -
  • 110. " HOW SHOULD I'VE KNOWN? 'Let's make a Legacy', he said, 'It will be fun, he said' , 'You know, we should invite some Simselfs' , he said, 'Let's download Uranium', he said... and there you're $§%& telling me, 'How should I've known?' ?! To let you know, I'm so near to crash your helmet and..."
  • 111. " Hey, could you both tone it down a bit? I'm trying to figure a way out of this mess..."
  • 112. "...and could somebody please silence this guy? He's making me..." " ... we will all die... why, oh, why did this happen to me.. why...?" " Oh, shut it, you damn..."
  • 113. " OKAY, that's it, all of you... for the last time... "
  • 114. " LEAVE - ME - ALONE! " " This will be a bit difficult... we're all you, after all..." " I DON'T CARE! I don't want to see you anymore, you stupid POTC³- Halluzinations...GET OUT!"
  • 115. " OKay, okay, but don't tell us later, you're lonely..." - Weird Guy... talking with hallucinations of himself... and what is POTC³ ? - " 'Pirates of the Carribean 3', you Moron... now move, there are some legacies waiting for us to be raided..." " Can we stop by the supermarket first...? ... I got hungry in this... whatever it was..."
  • 116. "... finally they're... well, now let's try to figure out how to escape from this place..."
  • 117. - It seems, that I didn't made myself clear: GO - AWAY! - " What the...?!" - For the last time: I may be trapped here, but the last thing I need, is getting insane and seeing hallucinations! -
  • 118. " HEY, who's the Hallucination here? I'M the real one, you're the hallucination! " - Oh, Reaally... to make this clear, I'm the real one, comprende?! - " No, I am the real one!" - No, I am! - " NO, I ! " - NO, I ! - " NO, I...." to be continued...
  • 119. - Epilogue II: This chapter was generously hosted by the Jaquet Family at Bluewater Village - "Thanks everyone for reading!" "AUUUGH, it's burning, it's... MOM! What the... are you wearing?" "Like it? This girl has a fantastic shop... If that doesn't get me a new guy, nothing will... I'm in the Bluewater Phone book, so don't forget to call me, sweeties!" -------- Instead of phoning... rather go to www.boolprop.com and read about (other?) great legacies!