1. mercury page 16 February 13-19, 2013
By Tom Hodgson
Love. It’s a word that car-
ries along with it many oth-
ers: admiration, respect,
companionship, compromise,
herpes. From cheesy super-
market romance novels to
Sting albums to Lifetime
movies, it’s a human emo-
tion spoon-fed to us. When
you’ve given all you’ve got to
chase it or sacrificed your-
self to find it, only then can
you truly respect a four-letter
word seemingly infantile in
length and infinite in reach.
I’m not talking about some
banal “Sex in the City” epi-
sode; I’m referencing “Gears
of War,” a video game on
Xbox 360. “Woah,” said Ke-
anu Reeves in “The Martix.”
Where a person would
typically sit and ingest emo-
tion through a more defined
medium such as a story, song
or movie, video games are
an amalgam of emotional in-
lets leading to one amazingly
captivating experience. Add
to that the commitment and
choices a player can impact
while journeying through
digital constructs and the
payoff can be a love story
rivaling any modern form of
media. So it shouldn’t come
as a surprise that love has
spread like passionate wild-
fire or a burning, incurable
disease to video games.
In fact, the framework for
love and video games was
welded decades ago. Even
during the graphically cata-
tonic 8-bit era, the damsel in
distress archetype blossomed
from behind the glossy lus-
ter of analog television sets
and arcade screens. While
relatively rudimentary pix-
els presented an exciting
new form of entertainment,
there was a story to behold
— behind every woman in
distress was a hero willing
to punch, kick and slash his
way to saving her. No ladder
was too high to climb, no gap
too wide to jump, and no boss
too strong to keep chival-
rously hitting continue.
First, it was “Donkey
Kong” tossing barrels at you.
Then it was Bowser and his
maze of pipes and castles.
Then “The Legend of Zelda,”
“Nina Gaiden,”
“River City Ran-
som” and “Dou-
ble Dragon.”
Love at first blight. Super soldier Master Chief the man fights to save his beloved Cortana the
voluptuous machine in ‘Halo 4.’ Contributed photo
A lover and a fighter.
At the climax of
‘Gears of War 3,’
Cpl. Dominic
Santiago sac-
rifices himself
by ramming a
vehicle into a
fuel pipe caus-
ing a explosion
and saving his
Delta team. He
had gone into a
deep depression
after the pain of
his wife Maria’s
death. Contrib-
uted photo
Will video games spoon with me?
Tugging on heart strings and controller cables,
love is alive and well in the modern age of gaming
(Why, yes. Yes they will!)
I wanna know what love is!
5 video game drunken hookups
1. The most celebrated knight in
shining overalls, Mario, has ap-
peared in more than 188 video
games. That’s almost as much
commitment as begrudgingly go-
ing with your girlfriend to a fon-
due party!
2. The ‘Hot Coffee’ mod in ‘Grand
Theft Auto: San Andreas’ was hidden
code that allowed players to have laugh-
ably animated virtual sex. Insert uproar
caused by political agendas here!
3. The woman you rescue in ‘Donkey Kong’
is named Pauline. The Japanese version
ambiguously calls her ‘Lady.’ Oh, you silly
submissive Asian patriarchal culture, you.
4. ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ originally had a
busty girlfriend named Madonna. Like a
virgin, she was sacrificed to repurpose the
brand for American audiences.
5. Nintendo bought the rights to two
pornographic parodies in order to halt
their distribution: ‘Super Hornio Broth-
ers’ and ‘Super Hornio Brothers II.’ Who
knew Ron Jeremy used to be on their
payroll?
— Tom Hodgson
The most primordial exam-
ples of a childhood fostered
by Nintendo were hinged on
chasing a dame through hell
and high water and all the
dastardly troubles that en-
sued. (I should have learned
my lesson back in 1990.)
As technology evolved, so
did the capabilities behind
conveying the complexities
of love both emotionally
and digitally, yet the hetero-
sexual male focus remained
the same. Premises expanded
past simply being an arche-
type and began to blossom
into fully realized relation-
ships. Characters were given
lines of dialogue, eventually
leading to cutscenes, which
led to detailed facial anima-
tions and all-star voice ac-
tors helping procure a bond
between the player and their
hero’s quest to save the girl.
After love met the parents
and matured alongside pro-
cessing powers and excep-
tional storytelling, it went
on its next date with the lat-
est generation of consoles,
shedding its innocent skin to
heavy pet in the back of the
theater during the latest “Twi-
light” movie. Like a guilty
pleasure found on Cinemax
after midnight, the sexual ten-
sions between Master Chief
and Cortana in the Halo fran-
chise were palpable and could
be cut with a knife. Nerd vir-
gins hopped up on Mountain
Dew had to wear aqua socks
into their dreams.
No knife required in
“Mass Effect,” the “Days of
Our Lives” of gaming. The
carnal space soap opera
served out slices of intimacy
like Chinese restaurant sam-
ples in a mall food court and
gave players the opportunity
to be Andy Dick and sleep
with literally anything that
walked: man, woman, alien
or robot. It is one of many
franchises produced by Bio-
Ware that allows for same-
sex relationships, helping
cultivate an industry prec-
edent of acceptance.
But“GrandTheftAuto4”
gaveplayerstheopportunityto
haveagirlfriend.Fromtheinces-
santphonecallswhileyou’reout
drivingdownpedestrianstothe
unquenchabledesiretobetaken
outondatestothebowlingal-
leyandstripclub,if youplayed
yourcardsright,agoodnightkiss
wasn’ttheonlythingNikogot.
Andbythat,Imeansex.
As real as the presence of
communication and desires
became, the nurturing of a
deeper meaning of affection
became apparent. The afore-
mentioned “Gears of War”
explored the other end of the
spectrum, chronicling the
fallout from a love lost and the
melancholy of coping and ac-
ceptance in its absence. Domi-
nic Santiago loses his wife and
children and all but loses him-
self in a crumbling world. His
conflict ultimately shows that
love can transcend even death
to inspire a weathered and he-
roic soul.
Lastly, Telltale Games’
“The Walking Dead” explores
a more platonic level of love,
down to the very essence of
the word and how deeply its fi-
bers run through our bones. In
the wake of the zombie apoca-
lypse, protagonist Lee finds
redemption and a born again
sense of compassion and
purpose through a little girl
named Clementine, whom he
rescues and takes on as if she
was his daughter that never
was. With a world barreling
down and no hope in sight, it
is a harrowing tale of just how
far love can carry you when
nothing else seems to matter.
With a gamut of emotions
as wide as its voyage from
cartridges to digital down-
loads was fruitful, love tugs
on the heart like your con-
troller is attached. In a mod-
ern era of game studios that
consider storytelling to be
just as important to the sum
of all parts, it will continue
to radiate from beneath the
gleam of gameplay mechan-
ics and orchestral scores. It
may hurt, might even scar,
but video games are now
proof that it exists beyond
Hallmark, honeymoons and
the Casual Encounters sec-
tion of Craigslist.