http://www.wirelessnursecall.com/assisted.html | The transition into assisted living may seem like a daunting situation for any elderly person. This guide can help your patients see assisted living as a viable solution.

1. When it’s Time for Assisted Living: A Caregiver’s Guide to Having the Talk
The decision to move into assisted living is rarely an easy one. Elderly parents can be fiercely
resistant to giving up their home, and many equate assisted living to being institutionalized. The
reality is that assisted living communities often enhance an elderly person’s life, providing
assistance with everyday tasks and increased opportunities for socializing, while still allowing
seniors a certain level of privacy and independence.
Assisted living is not a nursing home—it is a long-term residential-style living option in a setting
that offers personal care and assistance with meals, bathing, dressing, transportation, medication
management, and other activities of daily living (ADLs). Apartments can be equipped with life-
saving emergency call systems in case of a fall, accident, or other emergency, enabling residents
to get help rapidly.
Many seniors with shrinking social networks find that assisted living provides more
opportunities to socialize (group meals and outings, for example) than they would have
otherwise. Social connections are vital to the well-being of seniors, and assisted living is a viable
solution.
Signs that It Might Be Time for Assisted Living
How do you know when it’s time for your parent or loved one to make the transition to assisted
living? You may already feel strongly that your loved one’s abilities have declined to such a
degree that they are no longer safe (or happy) living at home alone; however, if you’re still
feeling uncertain about whether their limitations are severe enough for a move to assisted living,
consider the following signs:
Changes in Physical Appearance
Your loved one’s appearance has declined—perhaps they look unkempt, their personal
hygiene has declined, or their clothing is stained or wrinkled. These are signs that
hygiene and personal care have either become too difficult to manage, or that your loved
one is becoming forgetful about personal care.

2. Noticeable weight gain could indicate an illness or condition, such as arthritis or diabetes,
is slowing your loved one down, leading to weight gain. It could also be a sign that your
loved one is overeating because they are forgetting meals and snacks they’ve already had
that day.
Noticeable weight loss and looser-fitting clothing could indicate that your loved one is
forgetting to eat meals. It could also indicate a health problem, such as cancer,
depression, or dementia.
Unsafe Driving Behavior
If riding in a car with your loved one behind the wheel proves to be a frightening or
unnerving experience because they drift from their lane, have slow reaction times,
tailgate, or mix up the brake and accelerator pedals, these are signs that it may be time to
stop driving. In our society, not being able to drive can make it much more difficult for a
person to live on his or her own.
Pay attention to whether your loved one’s car has dings and dents, which could indicate
careless driving.
Also notice how quickly your loved one puts on their seat belt and how they follow basic
driving rules—missed steps could be signs of a problem.
Social Signs
Many elderly people lose touch with friends over time, and when old and dear friends pass away
elderly seniors are often left wondering “Am I next?” This can be a lonely and frightening
feeling. Notice whether your loved one still gets together with friends for outings and social
events, or whether they have become isolated. Does he or she:
Keep a calendar of appointments?
Go days without leaving the house?
Has your loved one abandoned activities or hobbies he or she once loved?
Isolation and abandonment of things once enjoyed are signs that being on his or her own may not
be the best situation for your loved one.
Money Signs
How your loved one manages (or mismanages) money can be a sign of cognitive trouble. Here
are signs to look for:
Unopened personal mail – Few people avoid opening letters from friends and
relatives—unopened personal mail is usually a sign of trouble.
Letters from banks, insurers, or creditors – Especially those referring to overdue
payments.
Scattered mail around the house – This indicates that important bills and notices aren’t
being managed properly.
Unopened bills – Not opening bills or paying them on time is often one of the first signs
of dementia.

3. Signs around the House
The following may indicate an inability to perform normal housekeeping duties:
Lots of clutters – If your loved one has always been a neat freak, but you’re noticing lots
of clutter around the house, this can indicate that they’re having a hard time keeping the
house clean and organized. Items on the floor can be a trip hazard.
Dirty bathroom(s) and/or kitchen – Bathrooms and kitchens need to be kept clean for
both sanitary reasons and safety. Grime in the bathrooms can cause slips and falls, and
grease in the kitchen can present a fire hazard.
Generally poor housekeeping – Spills that haven’t been cleaned up can indicate that
your loved one was not physically able to clean up the mess, or forgot about the spill,
which could be a sign of dementia.
Animals that seem neglected – Cat litter boxes that are unchanged, dirty water in the
fish tank, or a dog in desperate need of grooming could indicate that your loved is having
difficulty caring for their pet(s).
Kitchen full of ready-made convenience meals – This can indicate that your loved one
no longer has the energy or the mental faculties to prepare fresh food. Living on high-
sodium convenience foods is not healthy.
These are just some of the signs that a person is having difficulty with the activities of daily
living (ADL) and that a move to assisted living may be the right choice.
Having the Conversation
Perhaps you’re just coming to realize that your loved one needs the help an assistant living
community provides. Maybe you’ve already tried to broach the subject of senior housing several
times and have encountered resistance. Whatever your situation, here are some things to expect
when talking to loved ones about senior housing, and tips for communicating effectively.
Seeing Things through Your Loved One’s Eyes
It’s important to realize that staying in their homes represents control for many elderly people.
Your parent or loved one may already feel like they’re losing control in other ways—their
hearing, mobility, and vision, and their ability to drive—so it’s understandable that giving up
their home feels like an additional loss of control.

4. What to Do if Your Parent/Loved One Is Resistant
The importance of being gentle and tactful when broaching the subject of assisted living cannot
be overstated. Don’t be surprised if your loved one is resistant to the idea. While their resistance
may be frustrating, reacting with anger or frustration or raising your voice is generally
counterproductive.
If at first your loved resists, have the conversation again another time. Bring it up regularly, and
speak in terms of how it affects you—“I’m really concerned about your well-being, mom, and I
want you to be safe and happy.” You may find that your loved one slowly comes around to the
idea. Allow them the autonomy to make the decision for themselves.
If at First You Don’t Succeed …
You may have to bring up the subject of assisted living many times. Be persistent, but always be
tactful and respectful. Even if your loved one doesn’t make the move as quickly as you think
they should, try to make their existing home as safe and comfortable as possible. Remember that
as long as your loved one is mentally capable of making decisions, a move to assisted living is
ultimately their choice.
Dealing with Feelings of Guilt
Many children of elderly parents have kids of their own still living at home. Dubbed the
“Sandwich Generation,” these individuals often face overwhelming responsibilities (and
expense) as they struggle to care for two generations simultaneously. The inability to provide the
level of attention and care an elderly parent needs often leads to feelings of guilt. The reality is
that one of the most loving things a child can do is ensure their parent gets the help they need.