The document discusses clear subjects in writing. It defines clear subjects as making it clear who is performing an action by having the subject of the verb identify the actor. An example shows how revising a sentence from a nominalized verb to an active verb improves clarity. The document then provides guidelines for identifying actors, converting nominalized verbs to active verbs, and reassembling sentences to ensure the actor is clear from the beginning of the sentence. It discusses challenges with unknown actors and provides tips for appropriate use of passive voice.

1. Clear Subjects

2. What Are Clear Subjects?
Just as a strong verb is a specific, descriptive verb used in writing, a clear subject
also makes it clear who is doing the action.
 Example: (note: nouns are bold, verbs are underlined)
 The fear of the CIA was that a recommendation from the president would go to
Congress for a reduction in its budget.
 Revised:
 The CIA feared the president would recommend that Congress should reduce
its budget.
The strong verbs and clear subjects in the second sentence not only shows specific actions,
also specifies who is doing those actions.

3. Why use Clear Subjects?
Here’s the point:
 The “best” place to identify who is doing the action or the actor is in the
subject of the verb, which is why strong verbs instead of nominalized verbs
are also important as seen in the example on the prior slide.
How to revise sentences for clear subjects:
 Readers expect the actor to be in the first part of a sentence.
 Readers expect to be able to easily identify the actor.

4. Step 1 for Finding and Relocating Actors
 Locate your actors by looking at possessive pronouns that modify a
nominalized verb and look at the objects of prepositional phrases
especially by and of. Check that your actor is in the first six or seven words
(ignoring introductory phrases).
Example:
The Federalists’ argument that the destabilization of government was the
result of popular democracy was based on their belief in the tendency of
factions to further their self-interest at the expense of the common good.

5. Step 2 for Finding and Relocating Actors
 Read the passage for nominalization and convert them to verbs with
actors as subjects.
 Federalists’ argument that the destabilization of government was the result of
popular democracy was based on their belief in the tendency of factions to
further their self-interest at the expense of the common good.
 The Federalists’ argument  becomes  The Federalists argue
 Their belief  becomes  they believed
 Destabilization of government was  becomes  popular democracy
the result of popular democracy destabilized the government
 Tendency of factions to further  becomes  factions tended to
further

6. Steps 3 for Finding and Relocating Actors
 Reassemble the sentence using words like if, although, because, that,
when, how, and why.
 Original:
 Federalists’ argument that the destabilization of government was the result of
popular democracy was based on their belief in the tendency of factions to further
their self-interest at the expense of the common good.
 Revised
 Federalists argued that popular democracy destabilized government because
they believed that factions tended to further their self-interest at the expense
of the common good.

7. Finding and Relocating Actors as Adjectives
 Sometimes agents hide in adjectives:
 Medieval theological debates often addressed issues that to modern
philosophical thought are considered trivial.
 Revise it the same way:
 Medieval theologians often debated issues that philosophers today
consider trivial.

8. Examples of Finding and Relocating Actors
 Use the previously discussed strategies to revise the following sentence:
 A solution to the UFO problem is impossible without a better understanding about
the possibility of extraterrestrial life.
1. Locate the actor. Is the actor in the first six or seven words of the sentence?
2. Convert nominalizations to verbs with actors as subjects.
3. Reassemble the sentence using words like if, although, because, that, when,
how, and why.
Revised:
 Scientists will never solve the problem of UFOs until they understand better
whether extraterrestrial life is possible.

9. Reconstructing Missing Actors
 Readers have their biggest problem when they see no actors.
 Example:
 A decision was made in favor of conducting a study of the disagreements.
 Revised:
 We decided that I should study why they disagreed.

10. Challenges with Missing Actors
The options for revising with unknown actors can sometimes seem awkward.
 Example:
 There are good reasons to account for the lack of evidence.
 Revision 1:
 I can explain why I have not found any evidence.
 Revision 2:
 One can explain why one has not found any evidence.
 Revision 3:
 They can explain why they have not found any evidence.

11. When to Use Passives
 Before you use passive tense ask yourself the following
questions:
1. Must your readers know who is acting?
2. Would the active or passive better help your readers move from
one sentence to the next?
3. Would the active or passive encourage your readers to focus on
a logically consistent and appropriate string of subjects?

12. Must your readers know who is acting?
 Use passive if we don’t know who is responsible for an action, if our
readers don’t care, or if we don’t want the reader to know who did it.
 Example:
 The president was rumored to have considered resigning.
 Example:
 Valuable records should always be kept in a fireproof safe.
 Example:
 Those who are found guilty can be fined.

13. Would the active or passive better help your readers
move from one sentence to the next?
 If your subject in a sentence introduces a new complex idea, but the object
continues an idea from a previous sentence, then it might be better to use
passive voice.
 Example:
 We must decide whether to focus on improving education in the sciences alone
or to attempt to raise the level of education across the whole curriculum. The
weight given to two factors, industrial competitiveness and the value we
attach to the liberal arts will influence this decision.
 The second sentence in this passage is in active voice, but the two ideas do not
flow well because the subject of the second sentence introduces a new and
complex idea.

14. Would the active or passive better help your
readers move from one sentence to the next?
 This revises the previous passage by using passive voice.
 Revised:
 We must decide whether to focus on improving education in the sciences
alone or to attempt to raise the level of education across the whole
curriculum. This decision will be influenced by the weight we give to two
factors, industrial competitiveness and the value we attach to the liberal
arts.
 Notice how the subject in second, now passive sentence continues the topic of
the first sentence, then introduces a new idea. When writing about complex
ideas, beginning with something the reader already knows is more important
than not using passive voice.

15. Would the active or passive encourage your readers to
focus on a logically consistent and appropriate string of
subjects?
 This one is quite complex. Basically, it says that if you have a series of
subjects in a sequence of sentences, then focus your readers attention on
consistent and appropriate sequence of ideas.
 Example: Passage written in Active Voice
 By early 1945, the allies had essentially defeated the Axis nations; all that
remained was bloody climax. American, French, and British forces had breached
German borders and were bombing Germany and Japan around the clock. But
they had not yet so devastated either country as to destroy its ability to resist.

16. Would the active or passive encourage your readers to
focus on a logically consistent and appropriate string of
subjects?
 Now, the same passage is rewritten in passive voice to focus the reader on
the point of view of Germany and Japan.
 Revised:
 By early 1945, the Axis nations had been essentially defeated; all that
remained was a bloody climax. German borders had been breached, and
both Germany and Japan were being bombed around the clock. Neither
country, though, had been so devastated that it could not resist.
 Note how the emphasis has shifted from the Allies to the Axis nations.