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The family reunion
1. SpongeBob walks up to Patrick, who is lying down on the bed, Patrick has a letter under him<br />SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.<br />Patrick: (getting up) Oh, hey SpongeBob!<br />SpongeBob: What’s that you’re lying on?<br />Patrick: I dunno, some sorta letter about a family reunion day coming up.<br />SpongeBob: Family reunion day? What’s a family reunion day?<br />Patrick: It’s when a person invites his family to come over, and they get to meet their friends’ families and vice versa.<br />SpongeBob: Sounds like fun.<br />Mr. Krabs: (suddenly appearing) Oh, you bet it is! I’ve invited me nephew, Krabs Junior!<br />Sandy: Ah’ve invited my cousin, Sophia, alla way from Florida.<br />Squidward: I’ve invited nobody! I just want to be alone for once!<br />SpongeBob: Gosh.... The only family member you all haven’t met is my cousin SpongeHans, all the way from the Swedish Baltic Sea. Who are you inviting, Patrick?<br />Patrick: My Cowboy Cousin, Patrang.<br />Squidward: (bursting out laughing) Patrang!? Your cousin’s name is Patrang?!? (laughs)<br />Sandy: You gotta some sorta problem wi’ cowboys?<br />Squidward: No-no! His name is just so funny!<br />SpongeBob: I didn’t know you had a cowboy cousin, Patrick.<br />Patrick: I didn’t know either, who is he?<br />Transition<br />SpongeBob: Ah, here they come now!<br />SpongeHans: Hallo, SpongeBob. I’ve been missing you, ja? How’s things?<br />SpongeBob: Same as normal. I see the rest of the gang has come too.<br />Sandy’s cousin Sophia arrives, Sandy runs over to her<br />Sandy: Sophia!<br />Sophia: Sandy!<br />Sandy: So how are things going back in Florida?<br />Sophia: Great! Warm as usual. I think your pink friend.... erm.... Patrico?<br />Sandy: Patrick?<br />Sophia: That’s the one! I think I saw your friend Patrick in Florida once, he was good looking. So, do you have your eyes on everybody?<br />Sandy: Not really....<br />Sophia: What about that sponge over there?<br />Sandy: SpongeBob or SpongeHans?<br />Sophia: The one you usually hang around with, Patrick calls him “SpongeBob” I think.<br />Sandy: Me and SpongeBob are just good friends.<br />SpongeHans: I’m all available if you want me though! There’s enough of me to go around!<br />SpongeBob: So, did any of the other relatives come with you over here?<br />SpongeHans: No, just the squirrel and the cowboy starfish. Where is he anyway<br />Patrang: Here I am!<br />SpongeHans: Oh yes, the one with the hilarious name!<br />Squidward: I knew I wasn’t the only one who thought that!<br />Patrick runs over to him<br />Patrick: Oh, cousin! I’m so glad you made it!<br />Patrang: I’m glad to see you again. Hey, isn’t it funny how both of us have the same voice? It’s almost as if we’re both played by the same voice actor.<br />Patrick: I know, it’s strange.<br />SpongeBob: Hey! Where’s Mr. Krabs?<br />Transition to Mr. Krabs, who is at the bottom of the bed talking to his nephew<br />Mr. Krabs: And that, my nephew, is how you stay aware of con-artists and thieves!<br />Krabs Junior: Can I watch iCarly now?<br />Mr. Krabs: (sigh)<br />Transition back to the rest of the gang<br />SpongeHans: Now SpongeBob, I’m the master of how to get the girl. And I’m going to teach you everything in the book.<br />SpongeBob: You wrote a book?<br />SpongeHans: Yes, No. 1 bestseller on iTunes!<br />Patrick: If that’s true, can you help me too?<br />SpongeHans: You also want the squirrel?<br />Patrick: The Florida one!<br />Patrick looks at Sophia<br />Sophia: Hey, I think that starfish likes me.<br />Sandy: I wouldn’t bet on that, he’s probably just looking lost into the air, he’s a nitwit!<br />Sophia: So what? He’s kinda cute!<br />Patrick walks up to Sophia<br />Patrick: Um.... hey!<br />Sophia: Hello?<br />Patrick: Nice.... tail!<br />Sophia: Nice.... feet!<br />SpongeHans: Man, that starfish has a lot to learn! Now to get you with Sandy!<br />SpongeBob: How many times do I have to say “no”?<br />SpongeHans: SpongeBob, there’s no such thing as “no” in my language.<br />SpongeBob: Yes there is, it’s “nej!”<br />SpongeHans: Really? Well, I’ve never used it.<br />Sophia: So Patrick, you remember me from Florida?<br />Patrick: Yeah, but unfortunately you got cut from the video.<br />Sophia: What?!? But it was a blast to film!<br />Patrick: Don’t blame me, blame the editor!<br />Sandy: I can see sparks are flying here; I’ll leave you two alone.<br />Sophia: You sure?<br />Sandy: Yeah, I wouldn’t want to ruin the romance!<br />Patrick and Sophia both giggle<br />Mr. Krabs suddenly appears<br />Mr. Krabs: That’s it! I’ve had enough!<br />SpongeBob: What’s wrong, Mr. Krabs?<br />Mr. Krabs: My nephew doesn’t care about the art of finance! He’d rather watch iCarly! To him, it’s Miranda Cosgrove this and Jennette McCurdy that!<br />SpongeBob: Well, they are great singers!<br />Krabs Junior: Did you see the episode where they go to Japan?<br />SpongeBob: Tell me about it, it was the best!<br />Mr. Krabs: AYE CALISTO!<br />Sophia: I didn’t know he spoke Spanish!<br />Patrick: Yo tambien!<br />Transition – the relatives are all about to leave<br />SpongeBob: Well, SpongeHans. I’ve had a blast hanging out with you.<br />SpongeHans: Ja, me too, it was fun. Now don’t forget what I told you about the squirrel.<br />SpongeBob: It’ll never work out!<br />SpongeHans: Just you wait.<br />Sophia: Bye, Patrick, it’s been....?<br />Patrick: ....interesting?<br />Sophia: Yeah, interesting.<br />Patrang: He barely even noticed me, right SpongeBob?<br />SpongeBob: Sorry, I wasn’t listening!<br />Patrang: (sigh)<br />Patrick: Well, thank SpongeHans. His teachings of the ladies gave me the confidence to speak to you again. If only it’d work for SpongeBob.<br />SpongeBob: (thinking) He’s right, actually. If I don’t speak up now, I’ll never get a chance in romance.<br />Sandy: Well, Sophia, it was interesting to see you again.<br />Sophia: You too, Sandy. If you’re ever in Florida again....<br />Sandy: Oh, I go there every year!<br />Sophia: Well, I’d like you to know that you’re free to visit any—<br />SpongeBob: WAIT!<br />Sandy and Sophia: Huh?<br />SpongeBob: I know this is kinda awkward, Sandy. Seeing as you and me get on so well, but.... I’d just like you to know that it’s now or never.... Oh, it’s not coming out right, I’ll just say it!.... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, SANDY CHEEKS! I’VE ALWAYS BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL!<br />Sandy, Sophia and SpongeHans: (gasp)<br />SpongeBob: So, what do you say?<br />Sandy: (in shock) Well.... um....<br />All of the characters stand still, silently and awkwardly, as the episode slowly fades to dark<br />