Activities, discussion questions, and note from chapters 4 through 7 of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens"

1. “The Choice is Yours” The 7 Habits Activity Guide for Teens Habits 5 - 7

2. Habit 4 Think Win-Win

3. Think Win-Win Think Win-Win is an attitude that says I can win and so can you It’s not me or you; it’s both of us Relationships aren’t competitions, so let’s look at each other as equals

4. What keeps us from thinking win-win Win-Lose: This attitude says, “I don’t are how good I am as long as I’m better than you.” Lose-Win: This attitude is weak . It means you get stepped on because you’re the “nice guy” and give in all the time. Lose-lose: This attitude says, “If I’m going down, then you’re going down with me.”

5. Think of these attitudes and rate yourself 1 to 5

6. Help Others Win Can you think of a time when you did something to help a friend succeed? What did you do, and how did it make you feel? Share with a partner

7. Win-Win Discussion Questions How does it feel when we help others succeed? Do you know people who only want others to fail? Why do you think they want that? When is it okay to be competitive and when should we have a win-win attitude? Why shouldn’t we be competitive when it comes to relationships with others?

8. Is it win-win? Skyler gets elected to the student council and works hard to treat everyone equally

9. Is it win-win? Carlee gets upset because Scott (the boy she’s got a big-time crush on) asks out her best friend, Abby. Carlee starts spreading rumor about Abby.

10. Is it win-win? Alex and Cayden both try out for the football team. Cayden make the team, but Alex doesn’t. Even though Alex feels terrible about not making the team, he is genuinely happy for Cayden.

11. Is it win-win? Kelsee wants to go to the mall, but Maggie can’t because she has to study for a math test. Instead of going to the mall alone, Kelsee helps Maggie study and they both go to the mall later.

12. Is it win-win? LaTeisha and James are working together on a science project, but they both have different ideas. Instead of listening to LaTeisha’s ideas, James completes the science project for both of them using his idea.

13. Win-Win Discussion Questions When is it okay to be competitive and when should we have a win-win attitude? Why shouldn’t we be competitive when it comes to relationships with other people?

14. Win the Private Victory You need to be confident I yourself and realize your talents before you can be happy for others. Write or draw some things that make you unique

15. Win-Win Discussion Questions Why is confidence important to having a win-win attitude? Why do you think people choose to have the other types of attitudes? Do you think having a win-win attitude is difficult? Why or why not?

16. Create a Win-Win Attitude List at least two ways having a win-win attitude can improve your relationship with each of the following people: Parent/Guardian Teachers Friends Brother Sister Coach Boyfriend/Girlfriend

17. Win-Win Discussion Questions Can you give some examples of people in your life that have a win-win attitude? How will having a win-win attitude help you improve your relationships? What are some other advantages of having a win-win attitude?

18. Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

19. Listening Styles Spacing Out- letting our minds wander when someone is talking Pretend Listening- when we aren’t paying attention but pretend we are by using words like “yeah,” “cool,” and “okay.” Selective Listening- paying attention only to the parts of the conversation that interest us Self-Centered Listening- when we see everything from our own point of view instead of standing in someone else’s shoes. We say things like “I know exactly how you feel.”

20. Listening Experiment Partner Up Partner 1 tells something that happened last week Partner 2 uses one of the poor listening styles (spacing out, pretend listening, etc.) How does it make you feel? Switch and see what another poor listening style looks like

21. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodDiscussion Questions Do you think it’s hard to listen to someone else? Why or why not? Has anyone ever used one of these poor listening styles on you? Have you ever used one of these poor listening styles?

22. Emotional Charades

23. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodDiscussion Questions What does it mean to “listen with your eyes?” How can listening with your eyes make you a better listener? What does listening with your eyes tell you that you wouldn’t have learned by listening only with your ears?

24. Mirror, Mirror- Act it Out Partner up and act out of of the situations below Situation 1: Anna just failed her math quiz. She’s scared she might have to retake the class, which would make her fall behind her friends. Situation 2: Alex is stressed because he doesn’t have money to go to the movies with friends. He wants to borrow from family members, but is afraid of what they might say. Situation 3: Abbie just broke up with her boyfriend and is upset. They had to break up because he lives too far away.

25. Get to Know Others Partner up with someone you don’t know very well. Practice good listening skills by listening to them talk for one whole minute without you saying a word. Talking points: favorite subject in school, summer plans, dream job, favorite music group, movie, celebrity, sport, or food

26. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodDiscussion Questions What does “mirroring” have to do with listening? How can repeating back what someone else says help us understand them better? Do you really understand your family members? Do you feel they really understand you?

27. How Does it Feel? Think of a situation when someone didn’t take the time to listen or understand you. How did it feel? Do you want to make anyone else feel like that? Think of an important relationship in your life and write some ways you can improve on it by being a better listener.

28. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodDiscussion Questions How can we improve our relationships with other people by being better listeners? How can being better listeners make us more successful? How do you feel when others truly listen to and understand you?

29. Habit 6 Synergize

30. Synergy Synergy happens when two or more people work together to create something better than either could alone. It’s not your way or my way but a better way, a higher way People who synergize see differences as strengths, not weaknesses

31. Discover Differences Use the chart on the next slide Think of people you know who match these descriptions. Write their names in the boxes. Use blanks to come up with other differences and names

33. SynergizeDiscussion Questions Why do geese fly in a V formation? What would happen if two or three geese decided they didn’t want to be in the formation? How can we learn to appreciate other people’s differences?

34. How many ideas can you come up with? USES FOR A CUP Turn to a partner Come up with as many uses for a cup as you can Be creative as possible (the sky’s the limit) Examples: It can hold your pencils Put it on your head and use it as a hat

35. Your Dream Team Imagine you’re given the responsibility of putting together a team for a new invention. You have 1 month to create it and present it to an audience. Who would you choose to be on your team? Why would you choose them? Create a chart like the one on the next slide

36. Your Dream Team

37. SynergizeDiscussion Questions Why do differences make us strong? How do you feel when you get together with others and solve a problem? What does “synergy” mean to you? How are we stronger together than as individuals? Have you felt synergy before? What was it like?

39. Practice the Plan Alfonso wants to go to a movie on Friday, and he invites Josh. Josh says he would really like to go, but he is swamped with homework. His parents won’t let him leave until it’s all done. Turn to a partner and use the Synergy Action Plan to solve Josh’s problem. One person be Josh and the other the parent.

40. SynergizeDiscussion Questions How can you use the action plan process at home, at school, and with your friends? Do you think it’s hard to listen to others’ ideas first? Why or why not? What is a problem you encounter in school? Use the action plan steps to write out what you are going to do about it.

41. What Makes You Different? A big part of synergy is knowing what makes you different and how you can contribute List some things that make you different. How could these be of use to someone else?

42. SynergizeDiscussion Questions What does it mean to “celebrate differences?” Is there anything already going on around you that acts to celebrate peoples’ differences? What are several different ways we can all learn to celebrate differences?

43. Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw

44. Keep Yourself Sharp Pretend you are walking through the woods when you see a man trying to cut down a tree with a saw. He’s sweating and looks exhausted, so you ask him how long he’s been working. “About 4 hours,” he says. “But I’m not really making any progress.” Then you notice that his saw is completely dull. “Why don’t you take a break and sharpen your saw?” you ask. What does this mean?

45. Sharpen the Saw Keep yourself sharp so that you can better deal with life Paying attention to the four dimensions of life:

46. Sharpen the SawDiscussion Questions What does “keep yourself sharp” mean to you? Do you think it’s hard to take time to focus on these four dimensions of your life? Why or why not?

47. Take Care of Your Body You are the one who decides how you will take care of your body- Will you abuse it? Will you fill it with junk food? Will you take time to exercise? Taking care of your body now gives you a huge advantage later

48. Take Care of Your Body

49. Brain Food How are you going to “feed” your brain? Write down a few things you want to learn: Travel? Learn another language? Play a musical instrument? How are you going to work to reach these goals?

50. Take Care of Your Heart Make sure you take time to laugh every day. Children laugh a lot more than adults, and children always seem a lot happier. Laughing relaxes us and makes us healthier. Write down something funny that happened to you. It can be your favorite joke or a memory that cracks you up. Share them with the class.

51. Soul Food The soul is what’s hiding deep down inside you beneath everything else where you find peace and inspiration. We all have certain songs, books, and movies that inspire us and “feed” our soul. What are some songs, books, or movies that make you want to be a better person? Bring them in to class tomorrow.

52. Sharpen the SawDiscussion Questions Do you think it’s hard to take care of your soul? Why or why not? How can taking care of your soul make you a more successful person? How do you feel when you take time to “feed” your soul?

53. Find Saw-Sharpening Time It’s hard to find time to sharpen your saw school, activities, chores, sports, studying But choosing to take 15-30 min. a day will help you today and in your future. You’re probably spending more time sharpening than you think: Homework sharpens your mind Athletics cares for your body Making friends “feeds” your heart Listening to music inspires your soul

54. With a partner, brainstorm things you will do this week to take care of your body, mind, heart, and soul

55. Sharpen the SawDiscussion Questions Why is reading important? How is reading like “feeding” your brain? How can keeping your brain sharp benefit your today and for the rest of your life?

56. Sharpen the SawDiscussion Questions How will taking the time to sharpen the saw help you? What is the difference between taking time to sharpen your saw and just doing the things you want?

57. A Personality Exercise Read each row and place a 4 in the blank that best describes you. Then place a 3 in the blank for the second word that best describes you. Do the same for the final words with a 2 and a 1. Example:

59. Scoring Add up your totals for each column If your highest score was in column 1, consider yourself a grape If your highest score was in column 2, consider yourself an orange If your highest score was in column 3, consider yourself a banana If your highest score was in column 4, consider yourself a melon. Now find your fruit below and review what this might mean to you

60. Grapes

61. Oranges

62. Bananas

63. Melons