The document discusses habits and how they are formed. It explains that habits are conditioned behaviors that we perform routinely without much thought. Old habits, formed over many years through repeated actions, are very difficult to break compared to new habits. Both good and bad habits shape our character and destiny over time. The document advocates forming good habits that improve one's life and breaking any bad habits that cause harm.
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Habits
1. Habits
In the elegant ballroom of the world famous Gleneagles Hotel, a rock star
wearing a gray fedora arrived with his usual entourage of dancers and back-
up singers. But the rock star came down with a severe headache a few
minutes into his performance. It did not affect his boundless energy the
slightest bit, although, as he continued to tear up the stage. At the end of the
show, the audience gave him a lot of éclat. How could this happen? He had
formed the habit of singing through consistent effort, and if he was laid low
because of a problem like this, he still had the magic in his voice to go on,
keeping the audience enthralled. This is the beauty of “habit.”
No one will raise an eyebrow when I say that we are creatures of habit.
People comb their hair, brush their teeth, dress, undress, eat, and drink…out
of habit. We love routines. We are tickled pink when we are doing what we
usually do. With regard to the importance of routines, the American
theologian Tyron Edwards said, “Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go
forth in action; action form habits; habits decide character; and character
fixes our destiny.”
A habit is conditioned behavior, which means that we react to our situations
in a conditioned, standard way each time. A habit operates like a snowball
sitting at the top of a snow-covered mountain. It takes very little energy to
push the snowball over the edge. However, by the time it reaches the
bottom, that little habit has the force and effect of an avalanche. Ninety-eight
percent of the actions we perform are born out of our routine habits.
Think twice before forming a particular habit. Understand its nature. Explore
the long-term gains. Keep in mind that the habit you choose should aid you
in keeping a smile on your face forever so that you can confidently say,
“This is my habit, and I am lucky to have developed it.” Habits shape a
person’s character. If a person develops good habits, he will have good
character. If he develops bad habits, he will have bad character. As Plutarch,
the Greek biographer, said, “Character is simply habit long continued.”
Now think of a situation that shows what might happen if a person does not
form habits. The feeling would be something like, “Oh, God, is there a
possibility of leading a life without having developed some habits?” We
would be scratching our heads with amazement, anger, and horror. As a
simple example, imagine how many times a day you wash your face.
2. Without habits, you have to put a lot of thought into what you are doing each
time before you act. A sure nightmare, is it not? Devoid of habits, life would
come to a standstill. Nothing would be reflexive. Habits enable us to waltz
through our daily chores. Undoubtedly, habits are powerful tools.
Old habits are difficult to abandon
When a person has been accustomed to profligate spending habits for
decades, it is too much to ask him to curtail his spending ways, let alone to
leave them behind completely. When a person has stuck to philanthropic
activities for years, it is almost impossible for him to be a skinflint. In this
case, I remember a popular aphorism: “Old habits die hard.”
Compare a habit to a tree. A habit that is relatively new is similar to a young
tree with short roots that are easy to uproot from the ground. In contrast, a
habit that you have for many years is like an old, mature tree that has long,
deep roots. Habits can be broken easily in the early stages of their growth,
but once they become deeply ingrained, it becomes an arduous task. New
drinkers can break their habits quite fast. People who have maxed out on
their drinking for decades understand the difficulty in breaking that habit.
This illustrates the fact that old habits cannot be broken in an instant.
List of successful habits
(1) Do the yeoman’s service.
(2) Offer a lifeline to grief-stricken people.
(3) Go globe-trotting.
(4) Create a work-life balance.
(5) Become quality conscious.
(6) Reach out to those who are financially hard-pressed.
(7) Absorb knowledge.
3. Methods by which I can change my habitual life:
(1) Experiment with my outfits every other week. (Sometimes I prefer
retro clothes.)
(2) Sport funky haircuts.
(3) Develop a new hobby.
(4) Learn different culinary skills. (You will be amazed by the number
of herbs, sauces, marinades, rubs, essences, crackers, and salts that sit on all
the shelves of my kitchen. By the way, my kitchen has a lustrous plain oak
table and chairs with a wooden backrest pierced with hearts and woven
raffia seats.)
(5) Check out state-of-the-art gizmos. (I am a gizmo geek.)
Good habits vs. bad habits
Good habits produce positive benefits, actions, and attitudes that make you
want to acquire and integrate them into your life. Good habits are very dear
to us. Bad habits are energy sucking, time killing, and physically taxing. Bad
habits are hard to change because perhaps you think that your habit is “cool”
and “acceptable.” Hence, you do not feel the need to make a change.
Additionally, you do not want to change because of the instant gratification
that bad habits deliver. There are several bad habits that we can learn, and,
sadly, we feel relaxed with many of them. These include eavesdropping, hair
twirling, monopolizing a conversation, being addicted to caffeine, flaking
out, being chronically late, pathological shopping, and being addicted to the
Internet, computer, or television. Only when we pay the price for these
activities do we realize the harm done by such bad habits. That is why
Nathaniel Emmons wrote, “Habit is either the best of servants or the worst
of masters,” which means that good habits bring you success and bad habits
destroy you. Good habits are difficult to acquire but easy to live with, and
bad habits are acquire to start but difficult to live with. Good habits are
cultivated through conscious effort and self-discipline. Discarding bad habits
implies that you must confront the immense, accumulated force of a
thousand repetitions.
4. The ramifications of “smoking” are explained through an example:
Blackwell smoked a cigarette every evening after dinner, deceiving himself
into thinking that it was the best tool for relaxation after a demanding day at
the office. Now, after years of smoking, Blackwell has landed in a hospital
for an MRI scan. He waits for the scan report with bated breath. The doctor,
after a detailed inspection (of the report) pulls no punches but tells him the
complete truth: “Dude, you are suffering from lung cancer, and I am afraid
you do not have much time left.” That is the most shattering news Blackwell
has ever heard in his life, and by all means it will remain so.
Every year, over 400,000 people die due to smoking-related illnesses in the
United States. Extremely chilling statistics!
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that adult male
smokers lose an average of 13.2 years of life, while female smokers lose
14.5 years of life.
Consider these cases: American actress Bette Davis fought a losing battle
with breast cancer and died in 1989 after suffering from several strokes
caused by smoking. Singer/actor Sammy Davis Jr. died of throat cancer from
smoking at age 64. Years of smoking also caught up with Walt Disney, who
died of lung cancer at age 65.
On the flip side, many people have sung the praises of cigarettes. Robert
Benchley said, “Tobacco smells like Saturday and consequently puts me in a
chronic holiday mood.” Hemminger went lyrical over smoking:
Tobacco is a dirty weed; I like it.
It satisfied no normal need; I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It makes the hair right off your bean;
It is the worst darn stuff, I’ve ever seen; I like it.
Reminder: If you puff a cigarette “once in a blue moon,” it will not affect
your health a great deal, but if you smoke several times a day over a period
of years, then you are risking serious health hazards. Yet, do people
understand the language of “moderation”?
5. “Can’t”—A word that should have no place in a person’s vocabulary
“Can’t” is a demotivating word. When you allow this word to get into your
mind, it weakens your fighting abilities and makes you incapable of
breaking a habit. It always holds you back. So the stock phrase one should
use is “I have enough willpower to conquer my bad habits, anytime.”
Examine the habits of successful people
We already know that people who are great and illustrious have habits that
make them so. If you want to be successful in life, observe the “reservoir of
habits” of achievers and super achievers, and inculcate those into your
persona. Be a glutton for the biographies and autobiographies of successful
people. As Jim Rohn says, “Success leaves clues.” It is your duty to detect
what those clues are.
Childhood habits
Ashton is a college sophomore majoring in English. He is the apple of his
parents’ eye. He hails from a modest background. His parents are trying hard
to pay the tuition for his studies. Ashton’s academic performance is subpar,
and he is not trying to “raise the bar” for his achievement. He has a huge
circle of friends. His friends are the dregs of society.
Once, Ashton went to Giddy Bridge pub in Southampton with a group of
three friends. There his friends offered him a drink (a drink is defined as 12
ounces of beer, four ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled
liquor), saying, “This is for our friendship, try it.” At first reluctant, he
somehow managed to take a sip of that stuff and experienced a euphoric
feeling. In a matter of few minutes, he became tipsy. Taking advantage of
this situation, his friends made him smoke cigarettes and shelled out money
for gambling, too. That one night changed his life for the worse as he
became permanently dependent on those three friends. Ashton’s susceptible
nature caused him to “play into the hands of bad habits.”
Ashton’s parents addressed only his financial needs but failed to infuse good
habits into his personality. Just to take this point one step further, the louche
of modern society is roundly because children are not well raised in their
6. formative years. Nurturing children is a tricky matter because they are likely
to absorb positive or negative habits very quickly. They have a pliant nature.
They are still on a learning curve. To instill positive habits in children,
parents should set a good example. It would be a debacle if a chain-smoking
father were to advise his son that, “Smoking is bad for your health.” As
Lydia Sigourney wrote, “In early childhood you may lay the foundation of
poverty or riches, industry or idleness, good or evil, by the habits to which
you train your children. Teach them right habits then, and their future life is
safe.”
Drinking vs. adding pounds
Continuous and repeated drinking causes you to bulk up with fat, as alcohol
decreases the body’s ability to burn fat for energy as well as increases your
appetite. High levels of abdominal fat were found in drinkers who took four
or more drinks “in one sitting.” In relation to this, moderate drinking does
not seem to contribute to abdominal fat.
Campbell was nine years old when he first drank a bottle of vodka, along
with half a bottle of Martini & Rossi. At 15, he was eventually diagnosed as
an alcoholic, by which time he was consuming 10–15 cans of beer a day.
More than 20,000,000 Americans are alcoholics, including several million
women and teenagers. The damage that alcohol addiction does to
individuals’ bodies, to their homes, and to our society cannot be quantified.
No wonder Solomon wrote: “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and
whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.”
The stranglehold of bad habit(s) can be overcome
There are big, life-threatening habits like smoking and drinking that terrorize
us with dreadful consequences if we do not take action as early as possible
to break them. Do remember, breaking such habits is no easy task, as a
person has to dig deep within himself in his war against these habits. I have
devised a two-pronged strategy to help you overcome your bad habits:
(a) Grasp the negative aspects associated with a bad habit. Convince
yourself that replacing a bad habit with a positive one is the only way
to go. For example, instead of sitting in front of the television for
7. long hours like a zombie, replace this habit with a better one, such as
going for a walk or sitting at the zoo observing animals like baboons,
vervet monkeys, rhinos, and antelope.
Perform this simple exercise: Take a sheet of paper, and in the left-hand
column write the name of your habit, and in the right-hand column write
a well-thought-out reason for changing your habit.
(b) Break your habit step by step. Suppose you decide to quit drinking
from this moment on. Consequently, you stay away from a drink for a
day, then repeat that for the next day, and continue doing this for a month
until your habit of drinking is completely broken.
Habit vs. addiction
“A father grumbled that his eight-year-old cuddly son is inclined towards
pancakes, peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches, hamburgers, and pizzas.
He even likes the ambrosia of chocolate mousse.” Many parents make issues
out of nonissues. They worry that something is seriously wrong with their
child. Well, habit and addiction can be divided along these clear lines: Habit
is within acceptable limits, whereas addiction is “no holds barred.” Analyze
the above scenario by posing the following questions:
(1) Is this a “habit” or an “addiction?”
(2) Will it lead to a protruding tummy in the long run?
(3) Does this decrease his playtime?
(4) Will it have a bearing on his academic work?
The best part of answering the above questions is that it helps a
concerned father to take action. A levelheaded approach is most essential.
Reacting to a child’s activities with vehement anger can only intensify
the crisis.
The worry habit
8. As Tan wrote, “Worry is the advance interest you pay on troubles that
seldom come.”
I have a bosom buddy whose mind is a hotbed for worry. He is worried
about the future, his body image, the safety of his children, time
management, old age, and taxes. He is literally worrying himself to death.
Worry is his inescapable mental habit because he has done it a lot in the
past. This habit of worry has poisoned his home life.
Worry is not a radical solution to a problem. Granted, worry contributes
hugely to any predicament. When we are on a “worrying spree,” we are
thinking about something continually but doing precious little to sort it out.
Worry can have a gut-wrenching effect, thus making you unable to think
with a clear head. For one in ten people, extreme worrying is a way of life.
Not all worry is bad. There are some issues that are worth worrying about,
like excessive spending, erratic driving, harmful chain smoking, a weather-
beaten face, uncontrollable eating, and an obsessive interest in gambling.
From a statistical viewpoint, of the things you worry about, 40% never
occur, 30% have previously occurred, 12% are unnecessary, and 10% are
trivial. Merely 8% of the things you worry about are real, and they can be
divided into those you can work through and those you cannot. Evidently,
this is a jaw-dropping piece of information.
Now is the correct time to broach these additional major topics of worry
(1) Extreme weather and natural disasters (Devastating floods in Asia
and Africa, a deadly heat wave in Europe, the destruction caused by
hurricanes in the United States, for instance, Hurricane Katrina, are
all obvious examples.)
(2) International terrorism
(3) Overpopulation (Sustaining the lifestyle of the average American
requires 9.5 hectares, while Australians and Canadians require 7.8
and 7.1 hectares, respectively; Britons, 5.3 hectares; Germans, 4.2;
and the Japanese, 4.9. The world average is 2.7 hectares. China is
still below that figure at 2.1, while India and most of Africa are at or
below 1.0.)
9. (4) Pollution (It can have disastrous effects on the delicately balanced
ecosystem. As an antidote, countries such as China and the United
States are making efforts to green their economies. For the United
States, this includes unleashing $150 billion over 10 years to create
five million new “green” jobs. China recently announced a $584
billion economic stimulus package, up to 40% of which is aimed at
bolstering conservation, environmental protection, and renewable
energy efforts.)
(5) Corruption
(6) Deforestation (400,000 square kilometers of the Amazon Basin have
already been deforested.)
(7) Unemployment
(8) Rising oil prices (affect average people the most)
(9) Home foreclosures
(10) Nuclear stockpiles
Signs of a worrywart:
(1) He is aloof and withdrawn.
(2) His health is going downhill.
(3) His face registers extreme panic.
(4) His head is spinning.
(5) He has a stomach ache.
(6) He has a sleep disorder.
(7) He is losing weight.
10. Beneficial advice: Live in the moment. Disregard the issues that are “out of
sight and out of mind.” Mentally rehearse the positive outcomes.
21 days—Slogan for habit formation/termination
Holden decided to wash his hands off his decade-old drinking habit. He
entered a rehab center in Manhattan. There he was treated by a legendary
psychiatrist. Beginning with the first step of his treatment, the
psychiatrist told Holden to take it easy, as this (a deep-seated
psychological problem) would be curable with consistent effort and
focus. He told Holden to follow his guidelines, which would enable him
to kick the habit of drinking in four weeks. The psychiatrist delved into
the medical history of the patient, analyzed every single detail, and
prescribed appropriate medications. Holden did everything that the
doctor instructed, without skipping a day. It is hardly surprising that he
began to improve by leaps and bounds. On the 21st day, the psychiatrist
discharged him from the rehab center. Thanking the doctor, Holden
remarked, “I am feeling better and stronger. This is a rebirth for me.”
The repetition of an action, attitude, or thought process every day for at
least 21 days develops a new habit. This indicates that you should repeat
actions day after day for up to 21 days before your subconscious mind
will start to do them automatically. If you by chance miss one day during
this period, it is better to start all over again (de novo). Research, too, has
indicated that an action that is repeated for a minimum of 21 days
strengthens the power of habit. Lack of repetition weakens the power of
habit. These guidelines are relevant to the formation of both positive and
negative habits. Bear in mind that positive habits yield positive results
until you are consistently sticking with those habits.
Winning is a habit
In this dog-eat-dog world, you ought to have the zeal to be “on top of the
heap.” This applies to restaurateurs, CEOs, homemakers, small business
owners, etc. Winning involves straining your every nerve, and making an
airtight plan and doing other legwork to beat your competitor. You
simply go all out to win, win, and only win. There are no half-steps
involved. Anything less than perfect is just not acceptable. Let me be
clear to you that, just because the motto is to “win,” you should not adopt
11. illegal, crooked methods. The idea is to “win” in a legitimate, fair and
square way.
Talan is a cybercelebrity because of his successful blog. His blog is a
mélange of memory and chat attracting 70,000 regular readers from
around the world. He has no financial concerns. His fame has grown to
iconic proportions. Unsurprisingly, he is always in the public eye. He is
an emperor of the blogosphere. Talan is a winner because of his winning
habits.
Warren lacked the moral fiber to be a good leader. He frequently put the
wrong foot forward and was dubbed as a “consistent dud.” On the
domestic front, he is estranged from his wife and daughter. He is a loser
in life because of his loser habits.
Note: Winners know that they must actively participate in the formation of
good habits, lest they unknowingly fall into energy-draining habits.
Valedictory remarks on bad habits
Bad habits meddle in our lives and become an extensive nuisance. Think
about these instances: overindulgence, a superiority complex, a fixed
mind-set, being an anger junkie, navel gazing. Take the plunge in
defeating your bad habits. Growing pains will make things a bit difficult
in the beginning. Do not give up. Just hang in there, show courage, and
believe that you will be better off without your bad habits sooner rather
than later. Motivation does not come from outside—it has to come from
within. Be an inner-directed person. When you are confident about
yourself, you can face anything in this world. Take it from me, victory
will be yours.