1. LISTENING SKILLS
SANDEEP
Introduction
There is a reason God gave us two ears but only one mouth. By listening actively
we can
 better understand what is expected of us,
 build rapport with our coworkers, family and friends,
 resolve problems,
 grasp underlying meanings.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Most
relationships are destroyed because people do not listen to each other. We are too
focused on ourselves that we miss what the other person is saying. When we pray,
we assume that God is listening to our prayers but do we pause to listen to Him?
To keep a relationship healthy there has to be good communication. It doesn't
matter if the relationship is in an intimate, casual or business context. The best way
to be a great communicator is to be a really good listener. This makes people feel
respected as well as understood.
It is difficult to find good listeners these days. Everyone seems to be in a hurry to
make his point and talk about himself. May be this is an age when one has to
advertise himself in a strong way. You have to be vocal to be heard. Good listening
is an art which can be developed by constant practice. It needs a lot of patience.
Encouraging others to speak while remaining silent is indeed difficult. However, if
this habit is developed, one can definitely enter into meningful relationships which
can be a good learning experience. One can then have a fair idea of which
relationship gives utmost mental satisfaction. Judging the wavelengths of these
relationships, one can devise effective strategies to cope to handle these
relationships. One can attain peace of mind and find true happiness. Good listening
does not mean that you should be a poor listener. You can utilize the advantages of
good listening by being assertive according to the demands of situation. You
should never miss the opportunity to come up with your own argument. In this way
you can win the respect of others. When you are not a good listener, you generally
become aggressive always ready to take the cudgels. This attitude generally does
not pay off as you create more enemies than friends.

2. Types of listening
Discriminative listening
Discriminative listening is the most basic type of listening, whereby the difference
between difference sounds is identified. If you cannot hear differences, then you
cannot make sense of the meaning that is expressed by such differences.
Comprehension listening
The next step beyond discriminating between different sound and sights is to make
sense of them. To comprehend the meaning requires first having a lexicon of
words at our fingertips and also all rules of grammar and syntax by which we can
understand what others are saying.
Critical listening
Critical listening is listening in order to evaluate and judge, forming opinion about
what is being said. Judgment includes assessing strengths and weaknesses,
agreement and approval.
Biased listening
Biased listening happens when the person hears only what they want to hear,
typically misinterpreting what the other person says based on the stereotypes and
other biases that they have. Such biased listening is often very evaluative in nature.
Evaluative listening
In evaluative listening, or critical listening, we make judgments about what the
other person is saying. We seek to assess the truth of what is being said. We also
judge what they say against our values, assessing them as good or bad, worthy or
unworthy.
Appreciative listening
In appreciative listening, we seek certain information which will appreciate, for
example that which helps meet our needs and goals. We use appreciative listening
when we are listening to good music, poetry or maybe even the stirring words of a
great leader.

3. Sympathetic listening
In sympathetic listening we care about the other person and show this concern in
the way we pay close attention and express our sorrow for their ills and happiness
at their joys.
Empathetic listening
When we listen empathetically, we go beyond sympathy to seek a truer understand
how others are feeling. This requires excellent discrimination and close attention to
the nuances of emotional signals. When we are being truly empathetic, we actually
feel what they are feeling.
Relationship listening
Sometimes the most important factor in listening is in order to develop or sustain a
relationship. This is why lovers talk for hours and attend closely to what each other
has to say when the same words from someone else would seem to be rather
boring.
Relationship listening is also important in areas such as negotiation and sales,
where it is helpful if the other person likes you and trusts you.

4. GANESH
The Importance of Good Listening Skills
No matter if you know a child or an adult who needs help with listening skills, the
problem can seem overwhelming. Not only is it frustrating when you have to
repeat yourself, but at times it might feel like there is no communication.
At work, communication skills are essential not only with your supervisor, but also
with your peers, clients or customers. If a person is not listening intently,
communication is lost. Often people do not listen completely and are thinking
about something else while someone is talking. This behavior creates conflicts,
misinterpretation or overlooked information.
Listening skills are a learned behavior. And for good communication, everyone
needs good listening skills. According to the University of Michigan's Human
ResourceDevelopment department, listening is an active process and a skill that is
learned.
There are many ways to develop good listening skills. With practice and diligence,
most anyone can become a good listener. Although many researchers say good
listening skills are developed the first few years of life, you are never too old to
develop better listening skills. Reflecting back what we hear each other say helps
give each a chance to become aware of the different levels that are going on below
the surface. This helps to bring things into the openwhere they can be more readily
resolved.
If we accurately understand the other person’s view, we can
be more effective in helping the personsee the flaws in
his/her position.
If we listen so we can accurately understand the other’s
view, we can also be more effective in discovering the
flaws in our own position.
Sometimes a personjust needs to be heard and acknowledged before the person is
willing to consider an alternative or soften his /her position.
It is often easier for a person to listen to and consider the other’s position when
that personknows the other is listening and considering his/her position.
It helps people to spotthe flaws in their reasoning when they hear it played
back without criticism.

5. It also helps identify areas of agreement so the areas of disagreement are put in
perspective and are diminished rather than magnified listening tips
Do not respond to just the meaning of the words, look for the feelings or intent
beyond the words. The dictionary or surface meaning of the words or codeused by
the sender is not the message.
Once you accurately understand the sender’s message, it may be appropriate to
respond with your own message.
If you are confused and know you do not understand, either tell the personyou
do not understand and ask him/her to say it another way, or use your best guess. If
you are incorrect, the person will realize it and will likely attempt to correct your
misunderstanding. Avoid looking at your watch or at other people or activities
around the room. Face and lean toward the speaker and nod your head, as it is
appropriate.
Identification
family and in the community
at large. Careers in communications, management, planning, sales, and fund
raising, to name a few, rely on good listening skills. Listening, however, is more
than just being able to hear and understand what someone else says. Listening
skills involve etiquette, asking for clarification, showing empathy and providing an
appropriate response.
Body Language
listening skills include using body language that empowers the speaker.
You should make eye contact with the speaker. In a large auditorium or in a
classroom, this means keeping your eyes looking at the speaker, not down or
gazing at some daydream. Keep your hands down, not folded across your chest. Sit
up and look alert.
Respect
interrupting him while he is talking. Even if the speaker stutters or is slow to speak
or select his words, patience and restraining yourself from finishing his sentences
is a mark of a good listener.
Comprehension

6. understand by restating what you think you have heard. Then ask if you, in fact,
did hear correctly. Ask questions that request specific clarification on points that
you are unsure about. Be cognizant of the length of time that you speak, making
sure not to dominate or usurp the conversation.
Response
skills are measured by the response of the listener. First, the
response should validate the speaker with etiquette and empathy. Next, it should
show that the listener understands the message. When the message has been
adequately delivered and received, the result should be an action or statement that
demonstrates that there has been a transaction between the speaker and the listener.

7. KIRAN
Keys to Become a Better Listener
Use your DISC drive
•Desire :a desire to listen comes commitment.
•Interest: there is no such thing as an uninteresting topic; there are uninterested
people. Develop an interest.
•Self discipline: To eliminate distraction, understand speakers key point, overcome
boredom, interpret voice inflection & tone,understand non-verbal cues.
•Concentration: concentration require greater
efforts than does paying attention
first step in becoming a better listener is to start by not letting your mind
wander as the speaker is talking. If you catch your mind drifting, then gently
remind yourself to focus on the words being said. It helps if you repeat in your
mind what the speaker is saying; that way, you know you are actually hearing what
is being said.
The next step is identifying what is being said. If you are not listening, then it is
hard to know what the speaker is trying to convey. You can comprehend the
speaker's words by relating the words to something you understand. If you do not
understand what the speaker is saying, ask questions without interrupting.
It is good to give feedback when the speaker is done talking. When you provide
feedback, you have the opportunity to see if you understood what was being said .
Feedback also forms good communication and shows the speaker that you care
about what he is saying.
Another helpful hint on being a good listener is to not criticize what is being said
but to be active in the conversation. A good listener will be sympathetic to a
speaker's view as opposed to challenging what is being said.
A point to remember is to never assume what the speaker is going to say next.
Often when you assume, you are missing the main point of what the person is
trying to say. Even if you do know what the speaker is going to say, just remember
that a good listener will be courteous and let the speaker finish talking.

8. Why You Need Good Listening Skills?
Good listening skills make workers more productive. The ability to listen carefully
will allow you to:
 better understand assignments and what is expected of you;
 build rapport with co-workers, bosses, and clients;
 show support;
 work better in a team-based environment;
 resolve problems with customers, co-workers, and bosses;
 answer questions; and
 find underlying meanings in what others say.
Advantages of listening
1. Listening protects you from trouble- a good listener receives instructions,
suggestions and warnings (tell this to your teenager).
2. Listening lets you know what is going on- If we believe that life is about
learning experiences,
the more you listen and understand, the more you learn from your experiences.
3. Listening makes you more competent- Regardless of what your position is,
the more information you have about the position (and that includes being a
parent) the more successful you will be.
4. Listening makes you look intelligent- This is a double edge sword in that the
better you
listen the more knowledge you acquire but it also makes you look intelligent.
5. Listening increases your power- There is a saying that “knowledge is power,
use it”.
the power of knowledge gained through listening enables you to have more
data at your disposal than others.

9. RUCHITA
6. Listening helps you understand others- The only way to understand others and
make them meet your needs and you meet theirs is by listening to them.
7. Listening help you negotiate better- To get what you want you must start at the
point of knowing what the other person is willing to give.
8. Listening defuses anger in others- The best initial response to emotions is
made with your ears.
By listening to an angry person, you understand the cause of their anger and
you can then demonstrate proper empathy.
9. Listening builds self esteem- When you listen to another person, you are in
effect saying “I value you and what you have to say”.
This applies to spouse, your children, employee and friends.
10. Listening makes love real- listening is one of the most convincing expression
of love and caring.
By taking time to listen, you affirm the other person and show them that they
are important to you.
DISADVANTAGES
Despite the advantages of listening people don’tlisten to others in various
circumstances for a great variety of reasons. They are called barriers or deterrents
to listening.
However, one of the disadvantages of listening exercises is that students are not
able to see extra linguistic features such as facial expressions, gestures and body
language in order to be able to tell how the speaker feels and infer further meaning
from what is said. Italian and Greek are examples of two languages that make good
use of such extra linguistic features, as people "speak" with their hands and eyes,
as well as with their mouth. That is why students from these countries may find it
difficult to make sense of what they hear, as they are used to the visual delivery of
language, as well as the spoken word. But a change in tone or pitch can help
students to guess at the meaning of what is being said.
Another difficulty that students may have is the speed of the speech that they hear.
Natural spoken English is fast, rather than slow and easy to grasp. Students not
only have to work out what is being said during therecording, but they also need to

10. apply this information to the context. Does the speech have a literal meaning or are
there other ways to interpret what is being said? A recording can also be unclear
and muffled, or appear so to students who cannot put a face to the speech.
One way that teachers can help to overcome the problem of listening exercises is to
play the recording twice. The first time can be to help students look out for the gist
of the overall meaning of the recording. Taking down brief notes can help students
to decode what is being said. When it is played back a second time, they can then
listen out for any other relevant information that was missed the first time around.
Teachers need to thoroughly prepare students for listening exercises. They can do
this by going over some new vocabulary that will be coming up in the recording,
explaining its meaning and any other ways in which the same words can have
different meanings and the different functions of phrases. For example, "You could
have told me!" is an accusatory statement intended to let another person know of
their displeasure in having information withheld from them. Therefore, it is not just
what is said, but the overall context that is also important in helping students to
work out the actual meaning of what they hear.
Teachers will need to tailor their lesson plan according to their students' level of
understanding in order to have the most success during listening exercises. If not,
the information will not benefit them as much and they will fail to get the gist of
the listening exercise.
Communication is the process bywhich individuals and businesses transfer
messages between or among each other. While many communication forms exist,
verbal communication is quite common because it simply requires one individual
to verbalize words to convey a message. However, verbal communication does
have some disadvantages, much like any other communication method. Individuals
and businesses must be aware of these disadvantages or limitations so they can
overcome them prior to communicating messages.
Cultural
common disadvantage to verbal communication is the cultural differences
between the sender and the receiver. These differences can arise from the
individuals speaking different languages, inability to understand the other person's

11. colloquial phrases or a difference in understanding basic terms. Businesses often
face these problems when they have multiple international locations. Business
owners, directors and executive managers must learn and understand various
cultural differences prior to using verbal communication.
Audience
individuals can only speak to a limited number of people at a given time. While the
size can change through the location of the speechor amplification systems,
audience size constraints still exist. While basic or individual instructions are
common uses of verbal communication, attempting to send a large volume of
information through a lengthy speech may only reach a few individuals.
Listening
-way street; when one party talks, the other
needs to listen. However, listening is often a disadvantage to verbal
communication. Individuals may not be active listeners. They may decide to focus
on their responseor not listen at all to the spoken message. When this occurs, the
effectiveness of verbal communication becomes weaker. While speakers may be
unable to controlthe listening actions or their audience, framing verbal
communication through the use of certain words or phrases can help transfer the
message.
Longevity
longevity. Receivers may quickly forget the message and have difficulty
attempting to recall the message. Speakers may need to find a way to make their
message more memorable; this may involve the use of a secondary communication
method. Using a second communication can require more time to send the message
and ensure that the receiving audience understands the message
Fear
the biggest deterrent to the listening process is the element of fear. It alienates the
listener from the sender. Even before the communication is commenced the mind
of the listener is blocked. Should he or should he not posit his own point of view?
What is going to be the general outcome? Would he be viewed in a positive light?

12. All these flood his mind. When the actual process ofcommunication begins he is
still trying to find a solution to his problems. By the time that he can actually focus
on the message, almost half of the communication is over and again he has missed
crucial elements.
Conducive Body Postures
The bodylanguage at the time of listening should be
conducive to communication process. Leaning back or sitting slumped in the chair
are gestures through which the listener distances himself from the speaker. If an
upright position or a slight lean in the chair can be sported automatically, the
listener would be lessening the distance between the sender and himself. Chances
are high that there would be an improvement in his listening.
Feedback
Communication is a two-way process. Receivers don’t just absorb the
message like sponges; they respond to them. The discernible response of the
listeners to sender’s messages is called feedback. Unless and until there is a
feedback- be it in verbal or non- verbal form- we can not say that effective
communication has taken place. This is the most important part of communication
that completes the entire lop. A good strategy of giving feedback is to follow this
three-tier process.

13. PRIYANKA
EXAMPLES
1. our Alumni MR. Ramaswami
2. Dr. Gerry Bell from bell Leadership Institute gives light on listening on June
17, 2010 on Entrepreneurial Masters Program gives laws of Listening :
You can’t listen and work at the same time.
You can’t listen and think at the same time.
There is no such thing as multitasking.
Everyone knows exactly when you stopped listening.
You can’t fake listening. You can’t pretend to listen. You can’t fool people.
People only tell you the truth when they think you’re capable of hearing it.
Conclusion
Main conclusion from the above discussion is that whether we are in an
organization or not we have to be a good listener because without having good
listening skills a person cannot succeed in life at every stage or step we concern
with listening. Listening is important not only in a workplace but also in our
common life. Listening helps us a lot in many aspects of life.
listening cannot be defined while variable attributes are those, which vary person
to person. Critical attributes include receiving, attending and understanding while
variable attributes include responding and remembering.
Listening is very important in our common life as well as in professional life. To
be a good employee one has to be a good listener first, because at every step an
employee has to listen to many things like instructions from his or her supervisor
or boss. Teamwork is more effective if the members of the team are good listeners.
When we talk about listening in non-verbal communication then we come to know

14. that effective listening is only possible when a listener understands verbal language
as well as understands the body language of the speaker. Otherwise listening
cannot be effective. There are many barriers in effective listening like physical
distraction, mental disturbance of the listener, language or cultural differences,
prejudice and emotions etc. Hence, for a good listener it is essential to overcome
all these barriers. A good listener pays full attention to the speaker and also uses
non-verbal cues to ensure that the speaker is being listened carefully.
Key to success:
Become a more effective listener. Practice the active listening technique and
make it one of your communication skills
L = Level-off. Through leveling-off with the speakers situation, it will set you to effectively
listen to your conversation. It will give you the same the direction as the speaker in terms of the
level of intensity on the things that you are talking to.
I = Interact. To effectively listen, try to interact with the speakers by asking an open question.
Restatement is another way to interact to your speaker in which you can show to him/her that
you understood the information.
S = Single Mindedness. Focus is the key to effective listening. It is important to screen out
distractions and focus mentally. Dont be distracted by your own thoughts, feelings, or
assumptions.
T = Take their thoughts. Collect their thoughts when the speaker became silent as it gives you the
impression that you were attentively listening to them.
E = Empathy. Another critical factor in developing effective listening skill is to have empathy for
the speaker. Put yourself on the speakers shoes. Listen with your heart and not with your head.
N = Never interrupt while the speaker speaks. Wait for the speaker to get silent before you will
share your opinion. Wait for your time to speak after listening.
W = Withdraw judgment. Suspend judgment and avoid making any conclusions until the speaker
is done.
E = Eye Contact. One of the keys to effective listening is to pay attention to the speaker.
Maintain eye contact and acknowledge what they are saying. This will keep both you and the
speaker on track and focused on the conversation.

15. L = Less Talk. Majority of the people listen with impatience. Just listen and give your full
attention to the speaker.
L = Learn. When you listen actively. You will be able to learn various things from the speakers
personal knowledge and opinions of a certain topic and gaining some useful information.